Pan Yuliang: Only we are the helmsman of our life.

Pan: Fate is ups and downs, I am fragrant.

The world knows Pan because she is a famous female painter in modern China and because of her legendary life from prostitute to a generation of painters.

Throughout the Republic of China, most legendary women have prominent family backgrounds, such as the Song sisters. On the other hand, Pan was born in poverty and lost his father at the age of one, his sister at the age of two and his mother at the age of eight. She lived alone in a brothel, and her life was very sad, difficult and embarrassing from the beginning.

Gentle and tenacious Pan did not compromise because of a tragic beginning, complained because of an unfair fate, and did not give up because of the prejudice of the world. Her turbulent life tells us that no matter how big the storm is, when we firmly steer, we can finally sail to the other side of the light.

Fight against fate and see the light again.

Pan, formerly known as 1885, was born in a handmade family in the ancient city of Yangzhou. Her family is poor. Her father died suddenly when she was one year old, and her mother died in a hurry when she was eight years old. Later, she was adopted by her uncle and changed her name to Zhang Yuliang.

She lives carefully every day, trying to get the meaning of her existence in this family, so that she can live day by day. Unexpectedly, six years later, she was tricked into Wuhu by her greedy uncle and sold to a local brothel.

Although Zhang Yuliang has never had any knowledge, he knows exactly what it means to be a prostitute. Stubborn, she always refuses to accept guests. At that time, she felt that there was only one way to get rid of bad luck-escape. During her four years in a brothel, she ran away several times. According to the memory of her later years, she ran away no less than fifty times. However, a dirty brothel that is greedy for money will not easily let go of the "tools" to make money. So running away several times means getting caught and beaten several times.

The method of punishing people in brothels is extremely cruel. One of them is to hit the cat without hitting anyone, that is, put the cat in the crotch, then tie the trouser legs, and then hit the cat with a stick. The black-and-blue kittens scurried around, and Zhang Yuliang was often scratched by kittens. But even so, Zhang Yuliang refused to accept her fate and she continued to run away.

The helpless procuress finally compromised and changed Zhang Yuliang into a geisha, that is, busking without selling herself.

This is the first time that Zhang Yuliang has rebelled against her fate. She tenaciously maintained her last dignity.

Zhang Yuliang's life dawned at 19 12, when she met her charming lover Pan Zanhua.

Pan Zanhua, then the Commissioner of Wuhu Customs, and his political colleagues and friends of the Chamber of Commerce hosted a banquet in the brothel where Zhang Yuliang was located. During this period, in order to win the favor of Pan Zanhua, the new supervisor, the president of the Chamber of Commerce presented a string song to Zhang Yuliang, while Zhang Yuliang gently played the lute and slowly opened his lips. The ancient tune Bufu echoed in the hall.

Maybe similar souls will meet at some point. At that time, Pan Zanhua seemed to hear Zhang Yuliang's desire for freedom and happiness in his deep voice. He asked Zhang Yuliang several questions with great interest. The shrewd president of the Chamber of Commerce saw it in his eyes. After dinner, he sent Zhang Yuliang to Pan Zanhua's residence. However, Pan Zanhua, who received a new education, felt insulted. He wanted to be angry and reprimanded, but on second thought, it might be Zhang Yuliang. He couldn't stand it, so he said, "I'm going to bed. You let her go back. If you are free tomorrow morning, please ask her to accompany me to see the scenery of Wuhu. "

Rao, Zhang Yuliang got a scolding, and both the president of the Chamber of Commerce and the procuress called her a waste.

The next day, Zhang Yuliang was ordered to accompany Pan Zanhua to visit Wuhu, but she didn't understand the story of Wuhu and couldn't describe its scenery. Fortunately, Pan Zanhua did not look down on her, but introduced her to Wuhu allusions. At sunset, Panzan wanted to send someone to take her back. After a day of getting along, Pan Zanhua, who is well-informed and approachable, has long admired Changyu's conscience, not to mention that he may be bullied by the president of the Chamber of Commerce and the procuress when he goes back at this moment. So she knelt down and begged Pan Zanhua to take her in. Finally, the trembling Zhang Yuliang made Pan Zanhua feel pity-he took her in.

Pan Zan was redeemed by Zhang Yuliang and became his concubine a year later. Maybe she is determined to make a clean break with the past and tell those who are biased against her that she has been reborn from nirvana, or out of gratitude and love for Pan Zanhua. After marriage, he changed his surname to Pan and changed his surname with Pan Zan.

This is the second time that Zhang Yuliang has rebelled against fate. With wit and determination, she firmly seized the opportunity to get rid of bad luck.

Pan Zanhua is the dawn of pan-Yu Liang, and the night seems to be no longer eternal. This ray of desperate light shows Pan the hope of life.

Pan's life may not be noble, but her soul is noble. She chose not to give in to fate and live her own life.

There are always difficulties in life, which lock our bodies like countless moving shadows and make us unable to move, but as long as we dare to resist, they will never bind a throbbing heart.

Secular prejudice, I blossom.

After the marriage, Pan listened to Pan Zanhua and went to live in Shanghai. Pan Zanhua hired a gentleman to teach her to read and write. Pan Yuliang greedily accepted knowledge, and the speed of progress amazed the teachers.

At that time, Pan's neighbor was a professor from Shanghai Academy of Fine Arts. Pan Yuliang came across Mr. Ye Hong's paintings and was deeply attracted. She often holds her breath, lies out of the window and peeks quietly. But it was discovered by Mr Ye Hong. Mr Ye Hong was surprised by Pan Yuliang's sensitivity to color and decided to accept her as a student.

The opportunity of life may not come easily, but how do you know it is not a link? Assuming Pan Zanhua doesn't exist, how did Pan move to Shanghai? Assuming that Pan didn't move to Shanghai, how could he embark on the road of painting?

However, all opportunities should be persistent and loving.

Pan is not afraid of secular prejudice, gossip, unreserved love for painting and unreserved pursuit of art, which are the main reasons for her fame.

19 18 With the encouragement of Pan Zanhua and his teacher, Pan was admitted to Shanghai Academy of Fine Arts with the first place.

But the world is always so ridiculous, ignoring her efforts and efforts, and her excellent grades are unknown on the list. The honorable gentlemen in the Academic Affairs Office said, "Our model dispute has not subsided. Isn't it an excuse for the guardian to take away a student with her background? "

The world is biased and so ignorant.

Fortunately, Mr. Ye Hong was reluctant to part with talents and ran to argue with the principal: "The school admits students and only recognizes grades; The country only recognizes talents, and God does not stick to a model to reduce talents! Talents are rare since ancient times: birth is the standard of choice. Is this still school? Art is real, and there is no such unwritten rule in art from ancient times to the present. Principal, it's unfair to treat talents like this! This is a distortion of art! "

After hearing this, President Liu Haisu was deeply moved and accepted Pan under great pressure.

At the beginning of school, Pan cut a long hair of Wuhai short. She knows that the opportunity to enter school is hard-won, and the prejudice of the world makes her know to cherish the opportunity and study hard.

At that time, nude painting had just been introduced into China, and there was an endless debate in the society about whether to use models or whether to draw nude paintings. Pan, who loves nude paintings, can only go to the bathroom to steal nude paintings. After being discovered, he was humiliated and embarrassed.

But nothing can stop her from painting in the bathroom, so she takes herself as a mannequin and paints in the mirror.

Pan's love for painting is just like what she once said: "I want to paint, just like a drowning person has to struggle!" "

But her behavior and works are extremely bold, dirty and unbearable in the eyes of the secular. Even the Shanghai Academy of Fine Arts, a school that uses painting to push the city to the forefront of the new painting style, has mixed opinions, and some even advised her to quit painting. Liu Haisu, the headmaster, realized that if Pan stayed at home to study, it would be difficult to succeed under the prejudice of the world, so she suggested that she go to France for further study.

Pan asked Pan Zanhua for advice, perhaps because of his deep affection and heavy righteousness. Although Pan Zanhua is reluctant, he still fully supports Pan to go abroad for further study.

192 1 year, Pan embarked on a trip to a foreign country with sincerity and blood. No one should lose himself. Pan's unswerving attitude tells us that love cannot stop the pursuit of self.

The most wanton gesture of a woman is not to have a proud figure and beautiful beauty, nor to try to take advantage of a woman's advantages to gain anything, but to keep herself and have a clear conscience under any circumstances.

The fact is that no one can rely on it. You can only control your own life.

1929, Pan, who was wandering in a foreign land, returned to his hometown full of longing for a better life. After returning to China, Pan held five art exhibitions, the first of which was "the first exhibition of western female painters in China", which set off a frenzy in the painting world, and this was the beginning of Pan's fame in China.

However, in 1936, she held her fifth solo exhibition, which was also her last exhibition in her motherland. Among them, "The Man with Great Strength" won the highest honor, but at the end of the exhibition, a note was posted on the painting of "The Man with Great Strength". The note reads: "Prostitutes' ode to their clients. "

On the one hand, outstanding achievements, on the other hand, stubborn prejudice, so that Pan was deeply hit. At this time, Pan Zanhua's main office was also jealous, and all kinds of runs on her. In order not to embarrass her beloved, she chose to compromise with the first lady.

But she is still unwilling.

Where can there be no bondage and where can there be fairness? When will people stop being biased and stop gossiping?

1937, 42-year-old Pan yearned for freedom and fairness and went to France with a broken heart that needed saving.

At this point, she didn't know that this farewell was her farewell to Pan Zanhua.

When he returned to France again, Pan Yuliang formulated three principles for himself. First of all, he will never become a foreign national. Second, he will never sell paintings. Third, he will never fall in love. These three principles are not easy. Down and out, she never wanted to sell paintings. Wang Shouyi, who accompanied her for many years, pursued them hard, but she never agreed.

She still loves that man, the dawn.

During her stay in Europe, she also expected to return to China to reunite with Pan Zanhua, but the situation at that time did not allow it. Pan Zanhua's earnest advice made her unable to grieve.

1959, Pan won the Li Duo Prize of Paris University, which was awarded to China people for the first time since the establishment of Paris University. But when Pan, who had achieved great success, contacted Pan Zanhua again, what was waiting for him was his quiet death.

She collapsed.

When the light went out, she seemed to run out of oil, and her health was getting worse and worse. I have been looking forward to returning to China and meeting Pan Zanhua. After hearing the news, she decided not to return to China. No one, no home anywhere.

1977, Pan confessed to her friends at the bedside and took all her things home to Pan Zanhua's children and grandchildren, together with the self-portrait, even if she went home.

When Pan Yuliang died, the world was still biased. The octogenarian, an unyielding soul, quietly passed away in a foreign country.

Now that Pan has been rehabilitated, the world is no longer as ignorant and biased as before, but there are still people in life who are ridiculous and hateful.

And we can only do it, don't argue with fools, be ourselves, love ourselves, and don't have to doubt ourselves or the world. No matter how absurd life is, we still have to love this lovely but sometimes chaotic world.