The purpose of spiritual education

First, we must not lose at the starting line of the spiritual world. -On "aristocrats" and "commoners" in the spiritual field.

Second, the starting point of education-is the child a natural whiteboard or a natural rational thinking ability?

Third, do you have "basic survival skills"? -What must be learned and what can be allowed to develop freely?

Fourth, the purpose of education. -Is the ultimate goal of education for parents or children?

Although everyone is criticizing the view that "you can't lose at the starting line", you still have to worry about your children's education unconsciously.

Choosing schools, school districts, training courses, college entrance examination immigration and studying abroad are all for children. I feel that people around me can live for themselves for a really short time. Because I went to college as a parent, I graduated, and soon got married and had children. For the sake of my children, I'm afraid I didn't even have time for myself after retirement, because at that time, many people had to take their grandchildren, and square dancing was already an extravagant hope.

With the improvement of conditions, we can have more economic strength to cultivate children's knowledge in "skills", such as art, music, Taekwondo, Go and so on. Of course, there is more content around school textbooks. For the senior high school entrance examination and college entrance examination, children really have a lot to learn.

There seems to be not much special training on the principle of being a man. Recently, "Albert Bookstore" was discovered in the underground square of Covent Center, which seems to have such a purpose. Of course, they mainly train reading skills, but they can certainly bring some inspiration to children. I majored in "Morality" and "The Truth of Being a Man", and only participated in the audition class of "Wisdom and Sadness Education" once. It is said that they teach children Chinese studies. There are indeed some friends who send their children to private schools such as "Taihu University Hall" and "Dongshan Academy", but they still dare not try.

Although there are not many in-depth exchanges with other parents on education issues, I feel that many parents have realized that there are some competitions on the "starting line of the spiritual world". I think it is mainly based on the following reasons:

1, the spiritual world undoubtedly has a great influence on children's personality development. Emotional intelligence training, reading classes, and even study tours all hope that children's spiritual world can be sound. Parents no longer judge their children's grades only by their grades, especially the college students persecuted by the college entrance examination system.

Parents themselves are thinking about the meaning of life, and unconsciously they will pin their hopes on the next generation. I hope that children can understand the meaning of life and even the meaning of life as soon as possible, and don't lead a muddled life.

A large number of counterexamples in reality force parents to think about this problem. If something goes wrong in the spiritual world, it will really lead to "neurological problems", and bad personality and habits will also worry parents.

There may be many other reasons, and it is impossible to list them one by one.

At present, most parents should pin their children's development on the school. As can be seen from the phenomenon of school district housing and school choice mentioned above, parents hope that schools, teachers and children will form a sound personality, adapt to social life, learn all kinds of "skills", especially exam skills, and go to a good university or study abroad in the future.

Some parents also began to reflect on the current school education. There are doubts about the current college entrance examination, the unfairness of the college entrance examination, and whether the ability of children to enter the university is really helpful. However, more and more parents feel that there is something wrong with the current education system and concept, which is unfavorable or even harmful to their children's "spiritual world" growth.

The first is dissatisfaction with the autocratic ideas instilled. Since this parent survived the authoritarian system, he should not care too much. Now I am more worried about the harm of school realism to children. Many local school teachers are not serious in class and only care about making money in cram schools. The use of inferior rubber runways in schools is harmful to children's health (in fact, corruption is a social phenomenon that happens to children).

In addition, I am also worried about the fetters of cramming public school teaching methods on children's spiritual world. It is not difficult to get excellent exam results when the spirit is bound and the intelligence is developed again, but it is probably difficult to make outstanding contributions and achievements.

Therefore, unconsciously, in addition to the test results, parents are also worried that their children will lose at the "starting line of the spiritual world."

I think this kind of worry is absolutely necessary. Although it is wrong to worry too much, it is irresponsible for children and parents to ignore their spiritual world.

The cultivation of spiritual world used to be the successor of socialism with five stresses, four beauties and three loves. Now, under the background of utilitarianism, we are also returning to the "tradition of Chinese studies". For example, my children choose Disciples' Rules in primary school in the morning, and some paragraphs in the Three-Character Classics are for students to read early. However, it seems that compared with cultural courses, both schools and training institutions lack systematic and clear theoretical guidance and teaching programs.

I think the cultivation of spiritual world, for children, should include the following aspects according to the ability to accept:

First, moral or ethical aspects. Although it looks a little big, in fact, we have been cultivating children's morality, such as honesty, diligence, China's concept of not wasting and saving (such as weeding, ants and grasshoppers, etc. ). I feel that while instilling, these moral education lacks systematicness. To cultivate children's speculative spirit is to tell him the origin and importance of these morals, and it is best to let children think and communicate by themselves.

The formation of moral concept has great potential influence on a person's future values, and it is also the key to affect whether a future is happy or not. I feel that one thing that is instilled in children now is how to deal with conflicts with reality when they grow up in the future. Besides, there are too few words to teach children to be happy. I'd rather let my child be an ant who is busy every day than a slug who can only sing in the shade.

Second, sex education. In addition to physical aspects such as physical hygiene, there is too little spiritual communication with children. It seems that children go to college too early, and they will get married and have children after graduation. However, children's views on the opposite sex as children often determine the happiness of marriage when they grow up. Everyone knows that sex education is very important, but how to do it needs to be further improved.

Third, the balance between logical thinking ability and romantic feelings. We like to show children fairy tales, which contain many human emotions, but we should pay attention to whether our children can accept these fairy tales speculatively and don't stay in fairy tales to "grow up". Logical thinking ability often destroys romantic feelings. For example, after learning that crows drink water, some children do experiments to prove that if the stone is not small enough, the water will not rise too much. If we look at the world in this way, maybe the world is just a combination of hydrocarbons, oxygen and other elements, and we will lose a lot of interest in life.

Spiritual aristocrats and civilians.

Nobles have valuable qualities and can persist. Noble spirit requires people to have independent thoughts, personality, especially their own principles. I won't do anything against my will, at least I won't take the initiative often. Nobles can be immune, or they can save the world with one heart. Spiritual aristocrats are rich in heart and will not blindly follow secular ideas.

Civilians are welcome, and moral concepts can be adjusted according to the actual situation. I don't want to be mentally out of line. Perhaps the pursuit of material things is more important than inner reflection. They don't think too much about what life is and what the meaning of life is. Therefore, there is little mental burden, even if there is, they will think it is a problem of the "material" world, which has nothing to do with their own heart or spirit.

I'm afraid many parents are wondering whether they want their children to become spiritual aristocrats or ordinary people. However, more people should be ignored. Compared with survival skills, the importance of morality can only be distinguished when children grow up in the future.

There are two kinds of voices. One is a child and the other is a whiteboard. It is important for parents to write about him. Although they may respect their children's choices, parents undoubtedly put a lot of thought into their guidance. The second is that children are born with their own hearts and choices. My children here refer to junior high school and below. When you are old, you will naturally have your own judgment.

In modern families, rude education methods may be rare, but cases of forcing children to learn "skills" still abound. Some parents may think that children's dislike of learning is only a stage. You push him, he walks over and studies hard. Yesterday, my child's piano teacher told me that I must urge my child to practice piano every day. She said that no one seemed to like practicing, but in the end, her parents persisted and how many grades did she take. Another impressive thing is CCTV's interview with several top candidates in the college entrance examination. The reporter asked the champion of the college entrance examination, "Do you have any regrets about the hardships at the beginning?" The champion of the college entrance examination replied that this experience was their most unforgettable experience, and the joy gained after overcoming difficulties was beyond words. I didn't study hard in those days, which made me feel ashamed.

In addition, the current educational content deviates too much from the reality, which is not very helpful to vocational training and even scientific research, and there are great doubts. Some people say that if you can learn all the things you don't like well, the other things will naturally go without saying anything. It means that education exercises people's character. You can study what you don't like. Isn't it just a kind of training for you? Through tempering, people are not only superior in intelligence, but also superior in quality.

I don't think I can refute it.

Another view is that a child is born with a heart, so it is the best choice for him to choose. For example, the topic of the last lecture was "Let go and let the children grow up".

If the direction chosen by the children here is within the range approved by their parents, it is ok. If it is not approved, how to deal with contradictions?

Once I went to an open class for a fifth-grade child. He liked watching butterflies. At first, my parents didn't like it and thought it delayed my homework, but at his insistence, my parents agreed, and now they have achieved something.

But I'm struggling. If it happens to other children, I will cheer for him. Can I accept it if it happens to me? Because the path a child chooses may be good for his future survival or the real spiritual world, and it may not be a good thing. Premature "give up a forest for a tree"

Should we follow the child's hobby and his heart, or should we arrange all the roads for him? Even if parents haven't thought about it, they are already doing it.

It is undeniable that whether children are interested or not, we should "force" them to learn some basic skills.

For example, you should write beautifully, be quick in math and arithmetic, be careful in logical thinking, be good at English, and you'd better not fall behind in art class. Physical education is also very important. It is best to help parents do housework and so on.

These are just "techniques". Should there be basic requirements for "Tao", that is, ethics? At least it can help to survive.

Different parents have different requirements, but do they have "basic survival skills" in the moral field?

For example, it is a big deal for some parents to lie to their children, but many articles think that "the IQ of lying children is often higher than that of normal children."

There is also the ability to "persevere", which is also something that parents often nag about, but really let children develop a character that does not touch the south wall and does not look back, okay? After all, not everyone can be Jobs.

Some people admire Chinese studies, especially disciples' rules and three-character classics. As the basis of morality. But this kind of "indoctrination" education, which regards children as whiteboards, is harmful to children's critical thinking ability in my opinion. Once, some parents wanted to give each of our children a three-character classic, but they were opposed by most parents and were finally kicked out of class.

Personally, I don't think children who don't quarrel with their parents are good children. Of course, they didn't really quarrel, but finally reached an understanding through quarreling. Parents are wrong, parents should change, children are wrong, and children should also change. Of course, it's just a family statement. )

I think everyone will agree that there are some basic survival skills, including "skills" and "morality", but which ones are necessary remains to be discussed.

But obviously, some parents have taught their children "selfishness" as a basic "survival skill". Selfishness is an important reason why adults are unhappy.

Most adults are selfish, but minors who are less influenced by adults are not necessarily childlike, although they may protect their beloved toys from sharing.

Loneliness and jealousy are two important external manifestations of selfishness.

The selfishness of "possessiveness alone" is either mean to others or even mean to yourself, because any expenditure will affect your "possessiveness alone". Selfish people, any unexpected expenses or even normal expenses, make themselves miserable, and such pain will accompany them for life.

Possession alone makes you want more material things or vanity than others, while jealousy makes you look down on anyone who is better than you or even closer to you, even friends.

Building one's own happiness on the failure of others is like building a castle on the beach. When the wave of others' success strikes, your heart will be fragmented.

Because of selfishness, people's lives will become unhappy. Selfishness is directly proportional to the pain index. Because it is difficult for selfish people to share happiness from other people's success, and it is even difficult to get real friendship and even family care. Therefore, it is no exaggeration to say that the greatest pain in life comes from selfishness.

Unfortunately, selfishness comes more from the education of minors. Once formed, it is difficult to change. Even the study and introspection in adulthood will hurt the happiness of life and even entangle it for a lifetime.

Any conscious behavior of human beings (even unconscious behavior can be considered as conscious subconscious) can be attributed to self-interest and altruism. But people who don't believe in dialectics or Taoism (that is, everything has two sides, or there are yin and yang) can also attribute altruistic behavior to self-interest. For example, if you do good deeds every day, after all, it is to make yourself happy and even become a Buddha in the future. At least you can find a good family.

Therefore, the purpose of spiritual education also needs to be discussed. Are we doing this for ourselves or for the children?

It can't be simply said that for the sake of children and parents, most of them still hope that their children will achieve something in the future and come back to see themselves from time to time. At least I hope that when the child grows up, he won't let himself worry about his survival?

Some people may say that I don't have any expectations for my child, but I just want him to live well, at least not for personal gain. This is true, but there will be suspicion of "letting the children go". After all, there are few exceptions, and most people dare not have no expectations for their children's future.

Therefore, let's say that the purpose of spiritual education has two aspects: "self-interest" and "altruism", that is, for parents and children.

Egoism (for parents) is to see children grow up happily. If they achieve something again, it will undoubtedly make them happy. Sometimes, parents may feel that it is better to have children around when they are old. In short, children are happy, and their hard work is not in vain. This is the greatest happiness of parents.

Altruism (for children), I always think that whether a person has made achievements or has a lot of wealth is the reason why he is smart (in fact, IQ and EQ are smart. I think someone is good at math, but we think he is "smart"), but whether he can live a happy life depends on whether his spiritual world is sound or not, otherwise, no matter how much wealth and high reputation he has, his heart may be lonely.

Recently, there was an article, that is, don't treat friends as contacts, which is a reflection on current pragmatism. If friends are only "useful" to themselves, then a person's spiritual world is doomed to be lonely. Lonely people are seldom happy (some people may cite hermits and monks as counterexamples). You can be a hermit and a monk, but do parents want their children to be hermits and monks? )。

Many people worship or yearn for the life of Jobs and Tao Yuanming. I also envy Jobs' paranoia and Tao Yuanming's free and easy success, but I don't hesitate. I don't want my children to become like this.

For myself, the purpose of spiritual education is self-interest, and I hope my children can achieve something and my family will be happy. Whether you will be with yourself in the future is not so important. I should have my own life and friends.

In altruism, I hope my children can also actively explore the meaning of life (more as practitioners than thinkers), dare to try what they like, have good human moral sentiments, be a responsible person in family life, know how to bring happiness to their families, love them and have their love at the same time.