Can you tell me some jokes about protecting the environment?

In 2005, the State Environmental Protection Administration was awarded the title of informed criticism, the State Council.

NPC deputies: What did the State Environmental Protection Administration do last year?

State Environmental Protection Administration: All our staff have devoted themselves to Yuanmingyuan.

NPC: What did you do in Yuanmingyuan?

State Environmental Protection Administration: Demolition of Seepage-proof Geomembrane in Yuanmingyuan

Deputies to the National People's Congress: Why should it be demolished?

State Environmental Protection Administration: Because Yuanmingyuan is leak-proof and water-saving.

Deputies to the National People's Congress: Isn't saving water beneficial to environmental protection and ecological environment?

State Environmental Protection Administration: If you want to save water, the income of the water conservancy department will be less, which will directly reduce GDP.

Deputies to the National People's Congress: There is some truth, but it is not the fundamental reason.

State Environmental Protection Administration: Yes! You think everyone saves water. With the investment of 600 billion yuan in the South-to-North Water Transfer Project, water is drawn from the south, and the water price is high. Who can use it?

Deputies to the National People's Congress: Oh, this is the most fundamental truth. Support ... but the director should still be held accountable and removed from the post of director of the State Environmental Protection Administration.

State Environmental Protection Administration: Whoops ... (Crying)

This article is purely a fictional environmental joke, please don't sit in the right place. )

One day, the president of a country visited China and specially invited the heads of several environmental protection organizations to attend an environmental protection circle meeting.

Discuss it. During the dinner, the delegates signed autographs as a souvenir. The president of a country signed his name and handed him the pen in his hand.

Female village head, the global village of China, unexpectedly, female village head said to the visiting president seriously, "I'm sorry,

For environmental protection, I never use disposable pens. I have a pen with me. Not only that, but also

I bought a pen, a handkerchief, a spoon for eating, and a cloth bag for buying food-look at me.

Business cards are all written by themselves with recycled paper. "The president was speechless for a moment, and then he was embarrassed to say," Good!

Good environmental protection! Good environmental protection! Environmentalists are highly conscious. "

After the meeting, the president's secretary said angrily to the president in the car: "That female village head is really hard-hearted."

Still so unappreciative, still showing off on this occasion. "The president asked," do you know her? "... secretary

He said, "I don't know. I read the information provided by China before the meeting. Only by knowing this female village head can I look down on it. "

Agent, but very expressive, wants to show off everywhere. He once spent several years in America because he was with her husband.

Break up with two people. After that, female village head couldn't get along there, so he went back to China and began to do an environmental show. because

She is good at making use of various domestic and foreign relations and is very popular in China. "However," surprisingly, for

In order to show off and show off, she even put down this occasion to raise herself. "

The president said, "I was angry at first, too." How does this guy use the opportunity to belittle others and raise himself? "

This pen is for the meeting. If she doesn't want to use it, don't use it. Why do I have to hand it in when I'm finished?

When she gave it to her, she said that in order to protect the environment, she didn't need disposable pens? Is it necessary to tell others between the lines?

People, her environmental awareness is higher than my president. "The president said," I really want to say, you this kind of person. "

Environmental awareness, you are not as good as my grandson. My grandson doesn't even need to protect Lian Bi, so he just uses chicken feathers all over the place.

As a dip pen. "

The secretary smiled and said, "President, you really hurt people." . The president said very seriously, "I didn't hurt anyone, I said."

It's all true. I do have a grandson who studies in a middle school in our country because he does it every day.

I used chicken feathers as a dip pen, thus becoming the environmental protection model of that school. "The secretary asked in surprise, really?

That school doesn't seem to be particularly good. How can your grandson study there?

The president said, "It's a long story. My grandson suffered a little stimulation when he was a child, and he was mentally deficient. Because I

It's the president. At first, he was placed in the best school in the country. However, I can't get my classmates because I am behind in my studies.

Respect, he is very naughty and often makes trouble. We all think the child is hopeless. After ...

A famous educator came to report to me, and I asked him how to educate my mentally retarded grandson.

When he heard about it, he asked me to send my grandson to him to study. He will definitely educate my grandson. Sure enough, I

After his grandson arrived at his school, he really became self-motivated after only a few months, and he stopped being naughty. "

The secretary asked, "Is it because the students in their school are poor and your grandson is top-notch there, so,

Are you confident? "

The headmaster said, "No, in their school, my grandson's academic performance is also at the bottom."

The secretary asked inexplicably, "Where did your grandson's enthusiasm come from?"

The president said, "An educator is an educator. He said that my grandson was naughty all day because he was incompetent.

He can't get respect from others, so he has a rebellious attitude towards society. He must feel the commitment of his peers.

Recognition can solve the fundamental problem. "

The secretary asked, "I was born with mental deficiency and poor ability. What should I do?"

The president said, "Educators are very resourceful. He told me that environmental protection is very fashionable now, and there is no need to engage in environmental protection. "

Ability, so he designed a set of environmental protection activities for my grandson. Don't tell me, it really works, not much.

My grandson will become the environmental star of the school. "

The secretary asked, "What good idea?"

The president said, "This brilliant idea is a bit like female village head's idea. At first, my grandson publicized it to everyone, so look at me more. "

Environmental protection, never use pencils, because pencils are made of wood, and using pencils is like cutting down forests.

- 。 My grandson made a sensation about it. Later, everyone stopped using pencils and switched to circles.

This pen is inlaid with beads. Before long, Sun Tzu said to everyone under the guidance of educators. No ballpoint pens, round ones.

The ball pen is disposable, which will cause great social pollution and waste. You see, I always do it for environmental protection.

Use a pen. Because of this, my grandson has once again become a model of environmental protection. Later, other students followed him and changed it.

The pen is missing. Finally, my grandson saw that he couldn't show it again, so he simply began to learn ancient Chinese instead of pens.

Dai began to study with chicken feathers as a dip pen. There is no one like him in the class, so I

Grandson will sit firmly in the position of environmental protection star. People's vanity is very strong, once they get others.

It is true that he will also pay great attention to his image, so my grandson is no longer so naughty.

Yes "

The secretary said, "Then you must praise the educators well."

The president said, "No, at first I called him in and gave him a good meal." I said, "You educate students like this and put them.

My grandson taught me not to make trouble, but the children at school don't spend their energy on their studies, they just keep up with the joneses.

Holding an environmental protection show will delay the next generation and make our country perish in the future. "

The secretary asked, "Educator, what's the answer?"

The headmaster said, "The educator confidently explained to me that it doesn't matter." . He said, "Don't worry, True Naoko.

No matter how guided children are, they won't rely on these dirty skills to get other people's promises.

Recognition. ""It's like a capable man who tries to earn money outside to support his family instead of staring at home.

When my wife is eating, I am afraid that my wife will eat too much and eat the poor at home. ""Really brave soldiers, for sure.

Only those cowards, idiots, those who have no ability to kill the enemy and are extremely envious will charge ahead and kill the enemy bravely.

Rong's guy will pretend to be an injured hero in a self-destructive way on the battlefield. ""Be famous for environmental protection.

People, like those who become heroes by self-mutilation, only need to dare to self-mutilation on some occasions and do not need ability. place

Environmental protection is also the only cause that can make people with mental retardation famous. "

The secretary said, "Stop it. What the educator said is reasonable. I have also found many abilities in reality."

Mediocre professionals, many people once speculated on environmental protection and became one of the "environmental experts" who specifically opposed their own majors.

After that, his identity and superficial professional knowledge were more than enough to fabricate rumors about extreme environmental protection.

Yes, so they can generally become famous quickly. Is environmental protection really the patent of mentally retarded people?

Really? "

The president said, "Of course, you can't say that. Environmental protection is a lofty cause, and it is also a major event that concerns everyone.

Environmental protection concerns not only modern people, but also future generations. So environmental protection is right and wrong.

It is usually a great and noble job. Everyone who has a sense of responsibility to society will not neglect environmental protection. Sobu

Similarly, normal people regard environmental protection as a social responsibility and take the initiative to do it. Whenever possible,

Silently contribute to environmental protection. However, there is one kind of person who is not like this. They are not only engaged in environmental protection, but also promote environmental protection.

Ok, not really for the environment, but for show, for fame, for profit. Such people are engaged in environmental protection,

It is often extremely environmentally friendly and pseudo-environmentally friendly, because they don't care if they can really protect the environment. Their purpose is

It's enough to hype yourself. Some of them are similar to the situation of educators educating my grandson, belonging to

Satisfying the reputation of mentally retarded people is a psychological pursuit. "

The secretary asked inexplicably, "If people with intellectual disabilities are engaged in environmental protection, how can the environmental protection cause in the world be done?"

So busy? How many environmental protection awards do you think there are in the world? How many environmental elites are there? "

The president said, "You're right. Except for these retarded people who want to be famous,

There is another kind of person. These people are extremely selfish in developed countries or regions. They are engaged in environmental protection.

The purpose is to do everything possible to prevent the social development of underdeveloped countries and regions. This is the kind of hand they rely on.

To maintain their relatively superior social advantages. You know, the relative position between people is very important, and there are some rules of life.

A generous person is trying to stop social development and fantasize about maintaining his social status forever. have

People with this idea are generally very narrow-minded, so although they may be rich, their social status

It is difficult to be in power in any country without a high degree of education. So they should belong to the non-mainstream trend in society.

Force. Of course, although it is a non-mainstream force, it still has great influence. In some developed countries,

Extreme environmental protection is also a political force that cannot be ignored. In some developing China countries, developed countries.

Various environmental protection activities initiated by green organizations are also very active. Because these environmental organizations are experienced.

Economic strength, so they can often play a great role in the political and economic development of developing countries.

The role of pre-action has its good side, which can not only supervise and promote the government behavior of backward countries.

Use, but also has a bad side, sometimes it will hinder the normal economic development of underdeveloped countries, from

And fundamentally hindered the modernization process of the whole world. "

"The underdeveloped countries can't develop and get rid of poverty, and the inequality in the world will certainly continue.

Now, environmental damage is inevitable. These situations are of great concern to everyone who really cares about the future and destiny of the world.

On the whole, it is very worrying. However, for those pseudo-rings that only want to maintain comparative advantage.

In order to protect the crowd, it is popular. They are engaged in pseudo-environmental protection, and protecting the environment is just their slogan.

It is not their purpose, but their purpose is to prevent underdeveloped areas from developing and maintain social inequality.

Shape. In fact, this situation is a great threat to the environment and resources all over the world. For example, the whole world

In order to solve the world energy and environmental problems, leaders of various countries advocate the use of renewable energy. For the development of China.

For economists, the most realistic and available renewable energy is hydropower. Therefore, the world in 2002 is sustainable.

At the development summit, leaders of all countries agreed that developing countries should vigorously develop hydropower and reduce fossil resources.

Combustion reduces greenhouse gas emissions and saves more resources. However, this resolution is full of resistance.

Strangely, all the people who oppose and destroy this environmental protection measure are environmental protection organizations under the banner of environmental protection.

While maintaining their dominant position and hindering the development of underdeveloped areas, they also hinder the sustainable development of the world.

Development and utilization of bioenergy. The whole world has paid a huge price, including valuable non-renewable energy resources.

Sources and increasingly dangerous world climate and environment. However, these problems are sometimes intertwined with political contradictions.

It's hard to make a statement easily. "

The secretary said, "It seems that people who engage in extreme environmental protection are still very complicated, except those with mental retardation who want to be famous."

Yes, there are still people who want to hinder social development and maintain their social status. "

The president went on to say, "This is not comprehensive enough. There are still some people in environmental organizations who specialize in politics.

For politicians, environmental protection is just a card in their hands, and political goals are achieved through environmental protection issues. This feeling

This situation exists in many countries, not only in developing countries but also in developed countries. Caused by this situation

Environmental losses are sometimes inevitable, and the environmental losses paid by the whole world are particularly huge. For example:

Saddam Hussein of Iraq ordered the burning of all oil wells in Kuwait in order to counter the actions of the United Nations. Its capital.

The loss of source and environment is simply incalculable. Another example: At present, there are almost no pseudo-environmental organizations in China.

One exception is the natural allies of various anti-government forces. Why? Not all are the same.

Anti-government organizations need to use the social destructiveness of extreme environmental protection to reduce the government's enforcement.

Political ability. Specifically, with the support of foreign funds, it is to provoke local politics by creating political rumors.

The contradiction between the government and national developers and reservoir immigrants, China's pseudo-environmental organizations successfully stopped Nujiang River and

Hydropower development in hutiaoxia. According to the estimation of experts in China, these two hydropower stations can generate more power than the existing ones.

China's total civil electricity consumption (243 billion kWh in 2004) is even higher. This situation of water and electricity being blocked is directly aggravated.

China's power supply capacity is insufficient. In addition to the huge loss of economic development, it can also directly cause comprehensive energy.

There is a shortage of resources, such as diesel and coal for power generation. In order to meet the energy supply, many coal mines in China do not

Non-violation of regulations and large-scale overproduction will also trigger a series of serious mine accidents. In the case of high energy shortage

According to the estimation of experts in China, it is used by environmental protection organizations as a magic weapon to hinder the hydropower development of Nujiang River and Hutiaoxia.

Every year that reservoir migrants delay the development is equivalent to the loss of 1000 tons of coal every year. In addition, it also

It is equivalent to China's annual emission of hundreds of millions of tons of carbon dioxide. This loss of resources and environment is not limited to China.

China's loss is also the loss of the whole world. It is not only the loss of modern people, but also the loss of future generations. but

However, at present, the China municipal government is considering some corruption problems and three rural issues that are difficult to solve completely for the time being, and

We have to be cautious about immigration. You should know that the immigration problem is often related to the three rural issues and corruption.

With each other. Under the circumstances that China's macro-environment can't eradicate the three rural issues and corruption, the immigration problem

Externalizing these contradictions is always inevitable. In order to avoid this fierce contradiction, sometimes the government may not

Don't give in to environmental forces. It should be said that this loss is largely due to the use of politics by extreme environmentalists.

A painful price to pay for resolving contradictions. Not only China, but also the whole world's sustainable development has been seriously affected.

Great loss. "

The secretary asked again, "How did the showy village head do on these issues?"

The President said, "According to the information provided by Secretary China, the situation is not very good. It is said that they have some rings.

Although Bao NGO talked about advocating 26-degree air conditioning energy saving in TV stations, it was also polluted in many public places.

The Zipingpu Hydropower Station, which was built by the China government with the Japanese government's cooperation fund, has caused great environmental losses.

During the Japanese invasion of China. Wait a minute. This kind of propaganda is extremely deceptive to the public who resist water and electricity in China.

To some extent, it has seriously hindered the development of hydropower in China. It is understood that due to the influence of pseudo-environmental propaganda,

For the public, the resettlement work of hydropower development in China is full of difficulties, because the government is worried about the intensification of the resettlement contradiction. Now,

The hydropower development in China has been seriously hindered. Xiluodu has not been officially started, and Jinghong has not allowed it.

It is also mysterious to get on the horse and go back to the waterfall ditch to work. The Nujiang River has been delayed for nearly two years, and Tiger Leaping Gorge seems to be because of it.

Deceptive propaganda for pseudo-environmental protection. Similarly, due to immigration difficulties, it was introduced after the reform of China's power system.

The market competition mechanism has turned to competitive thermal power development. Overheating thermal power construction and making it bigger for the future.

The energy crisis has already set the stage. Since China has not entered the list of countries under the Kyoto Protocol,

This excessive emission is not only bad for China itself, but also a great loss for the whole world. while

However, due to environmental organizations like female village head, they need to get funding from foreign environmental organizations every year in order to

In order to get continuous funding, they must meet some requirements of some foreign organizations. So sometimes they

It is probably out of helplessness to deliberately create some rumors. Maybe it's survival pressure and grandstanding.

Psychological * * * works together. The scary thing is that environmental NGOs like Global Village are very fashionable in China, and many NGOs are.

Actively follow the trend and participate in extreme environmental protection activities, because many extreme environmentalists can often gain fame and fortune, which is very

Intellectuals who like grandstanding are rapidly moving closer to pseudo-environmental protection. If this situation can't

It will be dangerous to contain it and develop it. "