Professor of Peking University: Who will the female doctor marry?

Recently, I have been training young teachers and contacted many female teachers or reserved female teachers. I talked privately about life problems: falling in love, getting married, having children, raising babies, career planning, especially marriage and love, are directly related to a series of problems, including career planning, who will a female doctor marry? This seems to be a very common question, and I thought of Kathy, the girl I met on the Antarctic research ship.

The Antarctic expedition flew to an island very close to the South Pole in the southernmost town of Chile. This is mainly a humble airport for scientific research stations in various countries, so after getting off the plane, everyone will go to the dock and pass the scientific research stations in various countries by boat. Colorful simple rooms and flying national flags excited comrades from different countries in the team.

When passing by the Russian scientific research station, I only heard a cheer in the team: there was a Russian girl holding a big gyro under the national flag of the original scientific research station! Although I can't see who it is from a distance, this handsome action really makes everyone give a thumbs up-it's awesome!

After boarding the ship, the crew responsibly posted all the information of dozens of people on board, even from more than a dozen countries: China, Germany, Britain, the United States, France, Canada, Switzerland, Sweden, South Africa and the Philippines. Surprisingly, there is no Russian nationality. Who is the girl in a coat? Which country is it from? Why did you do this in front of the Russian scientific research station? This became a question in my heart, but it only flashed by, and the beautiful scenery in front of me quickly attracted all eyes.

Antarctic concept map

On the first night, after the carefully arranged popular science lecture on board, more than a dozen expedition members on board came up to meet you and carefully prepared meeting gifts. The scene is very warm. At this time, a tall girl walked to the microphone and generously picked up the microphone to thank the crew on behalf of all the guests! What happened? !

You know, these tourists from all corners of the country don't know each other at this time, and I don't even know all of us from China. Why did a comrade suddenly volunteer to do this very important thing on our behalf? Everyone's reaction was the same as mine, first a little surprised, then warm applause! That's great! That's decent! The expedition members also clapped their hands! We suddenly remembered this natural and graceful girl-Kathy!

After that, my daughter came back to the cabin a little later than us, with a very unexpected news: Mom, I just talked to Kathy. She is the sister who leads the Russian scientific research station, but it seems that she came alone.

No, she speaks standard American English! But Kathy's sister is great.

Of course, this is the first time we met Kathy. We really like this lovely girl.

Then I really didn't expect that I would meet Kathy many times during this week's trip:

The next morning, the two of us met at the gym. When I was running on the treadmill, someone pushed the door and came in. It's Kathy! She practices yoga, although there is a big difference, but the boat is very small, so everyone can only exercise in a gym, look at the beautiful scenery outside the porthole, say hello, and exercise separately.

The next night, after the popular science activities on board, the comrades of our China delegation chose to share their photographic works and experiences in the library. After that, I stayed alone reading, only to find Kathy sitting in another corner of the library, reading there, not surfing the Internet, and smiling and greeting each other.

Antarctic concept map

In the next few days, you can see the highlights of Kathy's various activities: when she jumped into the sea to swim, her posture was perfect. She is really professional in rowing team, and she is also the first person to walk in the wilderness in snowshoes. But she did come alone and needed help taking pictures. Of course, this person is usually our family. Although she speaks so smartly on the stage, Kathy is very silent and even lonely below, and she is often seen sitting on a stone alone in meditation. But I really appreciate and admire her courage to come to the South Pole alone.

At the penultimate dinner, there was an unexpected surprise: coincidentally, the son of a Filipino tourist and Kathy turned out to be the same Amanome. The crew prepared a huge birthday cake for them on the boat, and both comrades were overjoyed! Kathy is eating at a table with an elderly women's group. When the cake was served, there was a burst of cheers! We all went to celebrate for them. At this moment, we took beautiful photos, and our beautiful Kathy burst into tears!

At the farewell party tonight, my daughter delivered a warm and humorous thank-you speech on behalf of the China delegation, and presented a gift with China characteristics to the crew, which won applause from all the staff. At this point, our trip to the South Pole has come to a perfect end.

That night, after everyone fell asleep, I couldn't sleep, so I went to the library in the back cabin alone. I didn't expect the library light to be on so late. Maybe the crew forgot to turn off the lights. So I took a book and prepared to sit in front of the sofa near the porthole. Unexpectedly, I came over and saw Kathy sitting in the position where she sat on the first night, crying silently.

My dear Kathy, what's the matter with you? Today is your birthday, happy birthday!

After this week's contact, Kathy and I are no strangers, and even appreciate each other.

Alice, I-I-

I didn't expect Kathy to burst into tears.

I can only give her a tissue. This strong girl is really not easy. After a while, Kathy's sobriety gradually calmed down.

Today is my 30th birthday. It's the first time to eat birthday cake with so many people. I'm really surprised to have a birthday cake. You know, I've always been lonely.

Kathy, I really don't see it. You look like 20 years old. How can you be alone? You are great. Your parents must be very proud of you!

Alice, you don't believe me. My parents are both Russian, and they were both top students in the university. But when the Soviet Union disintegrated, they immigrated to South Africa and started a new life in this strange country. My birth didn't bring them good luck, so they divorced when I was very young, and I followed my mother. But when I was 0/2 years old, my mother remarried and she kicked me out. I can only be alone. Later 17 years old, came to the United States to study for graduate students. I studied statistics. You know, at that time, the outstanding students in my class were all from China, and I had to be better than them to have a chance! Of course, I did. I work in new york and fly around the world on business. I'm always the one who gives a report on the stage.

I can understand why you got the highest position in the Russian embassy, why there is a South African who has never appeared on the ship, and why your English is pure American English without Russian and South African accents.

Alice, do you know how envious I am when I see you and Lily taking pictures these days? I really hope that my parents will take me and accompany me like this.

Kathy, I don't want to talk about it anymore. It's over. Your parents must love you. They may be in a helpless situation at that time. Now they must be proud of you when they see that you are so excellent. I am a mother, and I know the feeling. You are so beautiful and capable, there must be many young men chasing you, right?

Originally wanted to change the subject, I didn't expect Kathy to cry even more this time:

Alice, I-I-

Dear child, what the hell happened? Did you come to the South Pole alone because of emotional problems?

Alice, yes, there were many boys around me, but at that time, I really didn't care about them. I have to support myself and have a good job. I don't want others to know that I am a child without a family, so I dare not invest in every relationship. Until this time, a boy really loved me. We have been together for a while, but we work in completely different fields. I'm the one standing in the spotlight. So I'm the only one in the whole group. I really want to avoid him, but after getting on the boat, I miss him more and more, thinking about his kindness to me. For so many years, he is really the only one who treats me like this, with no regrets. What do you think I should do? !

At this time, Kathy has been crying. I silently handed her a tissue and listened to her. My poor child, what should I do? Should an outstanding and strong girl choose a seemingly mediocre relationship when her career is booming? Accept a person who loves you silently but is not glamorous? This is probably the most difficult choice for every excellent and strong girl at the age of 30.

I said, Kathy, let me tell you something about my own experience. You have met our family of three these days. Lily and I are both extroverts, and my father is an extremely introverted person. Our love story is also mediocre: when I was a doctor, my family offered me the condition that I must marry myself, so I married him, my brother, who is not outstanding in appearance and not good at words, because of his words: Zhang Haixia, I will be responsible for washing clothes in the future.

Because I am lazy and unwilling to do housework, his considerate words touched me. After we got married, no one looked down on us. After all, their personalities are very different: one is the flame of the equator, the other is the ice and snow in Antarctica, the other is always standing in the spotlight to talk about ideals, ambitions and infinite scenery, and the other is an unknown person who works as a screw in his own job and can't see greatness or glory. But in this way, the two have persisted until now and have a family that others think is extremely happy. Why? Because he loves me and appreciates me. I once wrote an article "My True Hero", which told his story. He has no grandiloquence or ambition, but he always thinks of me and tries his best to build this small family, which is also the pillar of our family.

We talked for a long time that night, and when the ship flew back to Chile to say goodbye the next day, Kathy came to hug me and say goodbye:

Alice, I am going to Peru now. I have an appointment with my lover to go there for a holiday and have another 30th birthday with him. Thank you!

Bless you, Kathy, and wish you happiness!

This is the Antarctic secret I want to share with you, and this is what I want to say to every outstanding and strong girl:

A good girl must marry someone who loves and appreciates you!

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