“Life is incomplete without having children.” It’s too difficult. Who can understand women’s fertility anxiety?

Last year, Yang Liping, a well-known dancer who has a successful career and is still as beautiful as a flower even though she is over 60, was questioned by a comment on Douyin:

“I don’t have children. A woman's life is a failure." This "reproductive machine theory" aroused public outrage for a while.

In today's era of liberated minds, the topic of female fertility can still prick everyone's nerves at any time.

We can’t help but ask, is the value of women in this society still limited to the stereotype of “having children”?

With the advent of the three-child policy, the pressure on Chinese women to have children has not diminished, but has become more and more severe in this era of increasing economic progress.

A while ago, the documentary "The Wonderful Egg Production" was released, focusing on women's "cannot give birth", "dare not give birth" and "don't want to give birth" and other issues, and stepped on the pain points of women's fertility.

Take the protagonists in the first episode as an example:

35-year-old Wenxia experienced two failed in vitro fertilizations. She was notified of divorce by her husband and asked for 600,000 yuan in assistance. The cost of childbirth;

Young Xinxin suffered from a congenital chromosomal abnormality and was unable to get pregnant with her own eggs. While waiting for egg donation, her husband and mother-in-law filed for divorce;

Dandan, who has always wanted to give her husband a child to repay her husband's love for her, believes that "giving birth to a child is the highest expression of love, and it is her responsibility as a woman." However, in the later stages of filming, due to mental The pressure was so great that they entered a mental hospital;

Sister Weng and Brother Yu, who lost their only child at an advanced age, came to do in vitro fertilization, hoping that through assisted reproduction, their deceased son could be "reincarnated" back to them Around me...

On the road to seeking a child, there are all kinds of things happening to all living beings.

Everyone’s story is a history of blood and tears, but in their own epic, some people regain their love and get their wish, some people fail and lose their marriage and have nothing. Helpless and sad.

"When God created man, he gave women a uterus, which is both a gift and a yoke."

Too many women regard childbirth as the key to life after marriage. The first priority is that if they do not give birth or cannot give birth, they will be regarded as "chickens that cannot lay eggs."

In today's world where "independent women" are advertised, there are still many women who, due to their education level, environment and other reasons, although they are the main body of production, have never had their own say in fertility issues, so they have to Struggling with the dilemma of self and family.

The idea of ??"carrying on the family line from generation to generation" has become a kind of "cultural discipline" with a long history under the influence of patriarchal logic.

We have no intention to attack these thinking patterns that have been followed for thousands of years. They themselves and their parents may just be unconsciously trapped in this torrent of thoughts.

There is an episode in the second season of "This World" that also focuses on women's fertility anxiety.

Since the first two children were girls, Lin Qin had to work hard to give birth to a boy in the family atmosphere where her husband's family favored sons over daughters, even if she had placenta previa. However, an accident occurred during the delivery, resulting in a blood loss of 10,000 milliliters, and the uterus had to be removed.

She sighed on the hospital bed, "It's better to be a man."

Wu Ying, who suffers from congenital heart disease and severe pulmonary hypertension, insists that "life is incomplete without having children" and insists on risking her life to become pregnant and have children. In the end, her gamble failed and she lost her life. life.

The mother, Rao Meiling, had hydrocephalus. She asked her husband, "If I can't give birth to a son, will you divorce me?"

Fire hero Liu Jie died in the line of duty, and his mother Ying Xianmei finally succeeded in in vitro fertilization and sighed, "I feel like my son is back."

The three main women in this episode succumb to the so-called "women who have never given birth to children are incomplete", "a family is complete with children", "must give birth to a boy", etc. Similar views and are willing to risk their lives.

It is this society that turns a blind eye to all the value of a woman and only focuses on one reproductive function. From various literary works to ethics, various misunderstood views such as "There are three types of unfilial piety, the worst is not having children", "Marriage is a woman's most important career, and having children is the most effective means of maintaining marriage" have been widely discussed. Promote.

The most direct result is that countless Wu Yings come one after another, gambling on the small probability with their lives. They believe that they are among the statistically lucky number, not the one who is 100% certain to die when it is their turn.

What is sad is not only the countless women in this society, but also this society that is developing rapidly economically but still has no progress in thinking.

Just like a line from "Wuwen Xidong":

"You can't end your life before you figure out how to live this life." < /p>

According to tracking research statistics in The Lancet, in 1950, each woman had an average of 4.7 children in her lifetime. By 2017, more than half a century later, the average fertility rate had dropped to 2.4 children. .

Of course, this is related to the delay in childbearing and infertility in society as a whole, but we have to admit that people’s views on childbearing have begun to change, and different families have more childbearing choices.

Among the changes in concepts, what is precious is that women’s self-awareness is also quietly rising.

At the end of 2020, the "Current Situation of Chinese Women's Views on Fertility" was released. A social survey found that 67.4% of people no longer regard having children as a woman's obligation. They no longer want children to carry on the family line or to raise children for old age. On the contrary, Many want more children to increase family fun.

Just like in the Yang Liping incident, many female celebrities also posted articles to express their support for her.

This is a new social voice. Some people are really thinking about what having a child means to them. This kind of thinking may not be enough to change society, but it is a good start.

Use the content of a previous user on Zhihu to conclude the article:

“...the process of women seeking children, some do it for “carrying on the family line”, while others do it for “women’s "Responsibility", some people live purely for their husbands, and some people just want to continue their lives. In fact, no matter which one, it is the path chosen by everyone. Anger or compassion are the thoughts of bystanders like me. After all, it is everyone else's right to live the life they choose, and we cannot comment on it. I only hope that women all over the world, including myself, can be truly happy.

”