Why does Zhao Lei's "A Woman of Thirty" offend a group of women of 30+?

Zhao Lei: The singer is quiet, but the audience is the most ruthless.

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Last Saturday, Mango Taiwan's "Singer" returned, and Zhao Lei sang a "30-year-old woman", which caused great controversy. Numerous denunciation articles have been screened, which has become one of the hot events in China cultural circle this week.

Knowing Zhao Lei, I overheard his song "People on Two Roads" a few years ago and was instantly substituted by the other person's thoughts. His lyrics may not be tall enough, but they are better than the expression of melody and grounding gas, and he sings sincerely.

When the circle of friends exploded "Chengdu", I had forgotten the melody of that song and didn't listen back. This time, "The Thirty-year-old Woman" was accidentally screened, and I felt that this song was nothing. It's really terrible to keep condemning it.

He just quietly threw out a song from a few years ago, but the audience exploded and searched for their own Hamlet.

It is normal that different people have different interpretations of the same sentence and produce different emotions. Without knowing whether these words are friendly or not, most people subconsciously interpret them in a direction that is not conducive to them. This is human nature.

No matter how hard the songwriter tries, the listener can't feel the author's feelings. The listener's "emotion" is only a combination of his own experience and the author's imagination. They are crying and cursing their own stories, and the sense of substitution in this situation is often insufficient and often not lasting. What moved me was myself, not Zhao Lei's Chengdu. Rather than denouncing Zhao Lei now, I can't accept my true self.

Haruki Murakami wrote in 1Q84: Because most people in the world don't believe in the truth, but they actively believe that they want to be true. Such a person can't see anything even if his eyes are wide open.

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Some people think that the song "Woman at the Age of 30" is too sad, disrespectful to women and full of diaosi between the lines. So Zhao Lei was labeled as "straight male cancer".

As a 30+ woman, I really didn't hear any male superiority or disrespect for women. I only heard that every note shows his appreciation, love, concern and reluctance for this woman, especially the first monologue "as long as you can come back tomorrow". Moreover, the lyrics express the helplessness of time and youth, and the views and thoughts on feelings. Do you really understand those who say they are offended by this song?

If it sounds uncomfortable, it may be that people are particularly unhappy with the words "corrugated eyes" and "out of shape". After all, no girl likes others to mention wrinkles, and her figure is out of shape, which always reminds people of the decline of her own value under the influence of the secular. But aging is a natural law. Is the pursuit of "looking like someone in his twenties" the only beauty? Isn't this another constraint on women? In fact, according to the logic of these people, I'm afraid those women who look old are really hopeless. ...

Do you remember that song when you are old? There is a lyric "Love the wrinkles of your old face". This song is adapted from a poem given by the poet Ye Zhi to his lover, but many people mistakenly think that parents are praising it. This is the logic of these people.

Zhao Lei only saw some fragile aspects of a 30-year-old woman around him from his perspective. He didn't kidnap anyone, and he didn't talk about everyone in a general way. His description and explanation are true and sincere. Even if some lyrics make you feel uncomfortable, it's a good intention to do something wrong, not intentional. Is it worth walking so far?

Human fear and disgust are the two closest emotions. If you think the lyrics hurt you, why don't you think you may be too sensitive to the definition of "30 years old"?

It is said that this song is really the sorrow of older unmarried women. A friend said that he ordered it at KTV once, and a single girl went out directly and barely came back after a while.

There is also a friend whose sister-in-law is just 30 years old and unmarried. Once when we went to road trip together, just after the song was played on the radio, he sang the first sentence along with it ... Immediately, he felt that the atmosphere was wrong, and when he looked back, his wife's face was blue.

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Objectively speaking, in the current China society, even the whole world, male chauvinism is still the mainstream. We don't want to follow it, but we can't change it In the end, you can only go with the flow. Otherwise, there would be no ridicule for the seven aunts and eight aunts when they went home during the Spring Festival. When they were looking for a job, they were asked if they had any children after marriage.

In the family environment, it is after 5060 who master the right to speak; It is the post-6070 s who have the right to speak in the social work environment. What parents and even grandparents hold is still the representative of this social thought. Regardless of the poor family background and education level, even girls born after 1990 or 1900 often take their future family and marriage as important considerations when facing career and life choices.

A woman's greatest success is to run a good family, but she has little ambition in her career. Before she started her career, her family and marriage often failed.

I have a single girlfriend of 30+. When she was in her twenties, she had never been in love. There are many suitors, and she is always choosing an object. At that time, her heart was high. At the age of 30, people around her are basically younger than her, or they are all married, divorced and even have children. Finally, I bent down to go on a blind date, and the other party was still lukewarm to her. She was more afraid of aging, and she began to lose confidence. Her personal experience is that time is the most powerful killer. I hope that girls in their twenties have good boys, so don't hesitate to get married and don't put it off until they are 30.

There are also some people who have graduated with master's and doctor's degrees and just entered the workplace for two or three years. When they are trying to make great achievements in their careers, they suddenly find themselves in the eyes of others as an old woman.

When this song was randomly played in the player at that time, it was undoubtedly this helpless sadness that hit you. So you thought you were hurt, so you got angry, began to vent, and began to indignantly and speciously denounce Zhao Lei.

Just listen to the music quietly. Listen more if you like. If you don't like it, please don't vent your anguish in life on this song.

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Montaigne said: Our enthusiasm is attached to the tendency of hatred, cruelty, ambition, greed, slander and treason, and our performance is excellent.

In my opinion, it is not Zhao Lei's straight male cancer, but those who repeatedly consider the lyrics of this song under the banner of feminism in order to find their own ridicule. These straight women are essentially insecure, blx, just like some men can't mention the word poverty and incompetence.

Some 30-year-old women are out of shape and unbalanced, and often adopt double standards for people and things. No one spoke when Sitar tan sang, and no one spoke when Zhao Lei sang a few years ago. He began to despair when he saw him singing on the fire. When Sitar tan sings about a 30-year-old woman, you will think that she is singing about herself. Lei Zhao sang this song to discriminate against a group. What logic is this?

Why do you have to watch too much with ulterior motives? Are you tired? People with ulterior motives think that everything they see makes sense. Some people also use the topic to speculate for business needs. How many people who spray Zhao Lei now claim to have been moved by his "Chengdu" a while ago?

The most terrible thing in the world is that the person who pushed you to hell once took you to heaven. Sometimes, the devil and the angel are only one step away.

Don't compare Tsinghua with Lei Zhao, let alone a female friend and Lei Zhao. Do you dislike Zhao Lei because of his characteristics? If you like Hegao, just listen to their songs. Why compare two people with different ages, experiences and living environments? There is really no comparability.

Mao Mu also said in "Have fun" that "people who are still in love after 30 years old are disgusting". Why not spray?

Many people's pretensions are actually based on a great sense of powerlessness and inferiority.

You can't accept the fact that you will get old now or in the future, and you hate being told that you are older. Anything that happens will be interpreted by you as an infringement, but you still interpret it in detail.

If 30 years old is really as wonderful as 20 years old, why take a few lyrics seriously?

Women of different ages have different charms. They are 20 years old and full of energy. At the age of 30, they lost the charm of youth. At the age of 40, they are mature and smart. At the age of 50, they are harmonious and loving ... accepting the whole process of life development and living different wonderful things at each stage, isn't it good?

From Southern Girl and Woman Standing at Thirty to A Diao and On the Kiln Road, Zhao Lei is a person who can really see the beauty of women of different ages.

Some people also commented that folk songs are too diaosi and very low. I think you've heard too little. It is true that many folk singers are from grassroots backgrounds and graduated from non-music majors. Some are not very beautiful, but many are well written, well sung and beautiful. Zhang Xuan (formerly known as Jiao Anpu) also sings folk songs. Jane Kimble and keren ann also sing folk songs. Will you come to a conclusion after listening to them?

In 20 16, the Nobel Prize in Literature was awarded to the world famous folk singer Bob Dylan. The official award is: Bob Dylan has created a new poetic mood in the great American folk tradition (of course, Bob Dylan is also a poet). Why not say the Nobel Prize is low?

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When a woman reaches the age of 30, she becomes mature, independent, tolerant and full of amorous feelings. She really knows life, family, society and her own life value. Their body and mind tend to be stable, they have enough insight and tolerance for the world, and they can deal with everything lightly.

Thirty-year-old women are a group of active women. They know what is acceptance and release, and what to give up will not be vague. They know the rules of the game in the workplace and love. Sometimes they are gentle, sometimes they are Leng Yan. They will not embarrass their opponents, let alone themselves. They are androgynous, coping with life like women and working like men. They turn beauty into self-confidence, age into tolerance, and time into tenderness, just like a gentle and powerful light that shines into people's hearts for a long time without being aggressive.

The most attractive thing for a woman of this age is intellectuality and elegance. Smile sincerely, don't be afraid of wrinkles, and don't be afraid of others asking your age. Elegance is more important than beauty.

A 30-year-old woman can read Balzac's A 30-year-old woman. Balzac especially appreciates women in their thirties. Some critics said: "The woman he described is gone forever in her budding youth, but she feels deeper and more mature, ready to bear disappointment, but she can still have fiery and pure feelings. She has been engraved with the imprint of life-there is a scar here and a wrinkle there-but she is still full of all the charm of women ... What really touches her is her exquisiteness, modesty and seriousness, as well as the beautiful charm produced by pure enthusiasm. "