[Reprinted] North America reminds: How does China assimilate the United States?

The reason why the US government did not dare to challenge China head-on, after Christmas, was mainly for fear that once a conflict broke out, it would be assimilated by China people more quickly. At that time, the Manchu Empire wiped out all the Han people and ruled them for hundreds of years. As a result, unconsciously, there was no Manchu, no culture, no language, and even no TM surname. Fluent in Chinese, it is said that he won the first place in the national Putonghua contest and forgot all about the country's hatred for family and enemies! How to say that Manchu people are easy to "satisfy"? China people's hands are absolutely deceptive. Mom: Whoever invades China will unconsciously become a China native. Who wants to invade China after that? Americans originally wanted to assimilate China with McDonald's and KFC. But within a few years, "KFC" began to sell soybean milk fritters and wonton buns. Who is assimilating who? This is absolutely grief-urging his mother-grief! According to preliminary statistics, 80% of American adults can eat with two sticks independently. Look! 25% Americans are obsessed with eating chicken feet, and 5% Americans think stinky tofu smells good. Brother Cui, look, this is not assimilation. What is this? In recent days, there have been shootings in the United States, and many people in China have begun to spread their views, saying that "white people shoot, black people rob, and they always sell drugs." As far as China people abide by the law, the implication is that China people take over the United States and the rest of the people of all ethnic groups return to their original places. So as to make room for China people. " See smart China people thoroughly understand the United States so quickly, fix the United States and take root in the United States. At present, more than half of the students in American universities are from China, and the professors are probably from China. Sometimes they switch to Chinese when talking, so that American students can experience the feeling of "conquered people" in their own countries. Learning from China, we Americans began to understand the language and culture of China. But seriously, China's language is not human. In the first Chinese class, Mr. China told us that the English word "I" (what I mean) can be translated into Chinese in the following ways: "I, slave generation, humble, junior, born late, next, old school, old school, Lao zi, you uncle me, and so on. The Americans fainted after listening to it. This is the simplest word "I". Later, according to the statistics of the Ministry of Education, Americans who studied Chinese for more than three years later went crazy. China people assimilated the United States not only with culture, but also with words and deeds. For example, it turns out that American housewives rarely have good habits of choosing food. Now they learn from women in China. When buying lentils, they picked them one by one and pinched them with their thumb nails to see if they could help the supermarket, so they had to write a sign in two languages: "Don't pinch them! (NoPinching！ ) "When I go to a big supermarket in the United States, I only need to glance at the fingerprints on melons, pears and peaches, and I can immediately tell: Look, China people have just been here. Only the strength of China people can pinch tomatoes and eggplant like that! Americans are assimilated day by day. In the morning, more and more 250 American students practice Tai Ji Chuan at sunrise in Ran Ran. In the evening, Americans who are not good at math play the simplest "knocking paste" around a table. "On birthdays, the American people sang karaoke 100% out of tune; When you open your vest, many people will proudly show you the Chinese characters tattooed on your body-I am a descendant of the deaf! China culture is cool! In this atmosphere, the United States Military Academy at West Point taught Sun Tzu the thirty-six strategies of the art of war. Less than ten days after the class started, West Point School showed good signs of class struggle. Originally absent-minded American students began to skillfully use traditional strategies such as "hitting stones when it rains". In order to get good grades, female students began to give instructors a "honey trap"; Gay students play tricks on each other, and so on. It is said that the school accountant learned thirty-six tricks-"fly away with huge sums of money!" "I think China people in the United States are not interested in only two things. First, elections; Second, play with guns. China people don't stand for election mainly because being a leader in the United States is poor, boring and tiring. They are simply three grandchildren, not comparable to the public servants in China. Speaking of playing with guns, once China people gain a foothold, they will play with guns sooner or later. There will be chaos in the United States, because China people are good marksmen and even the old ladies hit the target. I heard that an old woman with two guns has registered with the Immigration Bureau. It is estimated that the old lady will never get an American visa in her life. Come to think of it, we Americans especially hate one person-Mrs. Thatcher, the British Iron Lady. It is said that during the first visit to China in 1982, the Iron Lady asked Premier Deng Xiaoping, who was in power at that time, "Do you want to give your citizens freedom and let them emigrate overseas?" At the Iron Lady, Deng Xiaoping asked weakly, "Do you want tens of millions? "Cui Ge's North American talk show is over, and I will return to China for the New Year in January. Don't forget to ask me to sign when you recognize me in the street. America is not like this. No one peed when the president came.