A girl's story about studying abroad: Is her boyfriend a destination?

This kind of girl often doesn't care about the professional ranking, the quality of the school, the career development after graduation, only the distance from the university to her boyfriend. When I received this kind of consultation, I felt quite helpless. I'm just doing study abroad consultation, not emotional consultation, and I dare not interfere in other people's private lives, but I really want to say something to these girls. Tell a story, a true story, but I don't want to delve into the characters and details, just want to give you some inspiration. Mei, sister Xiang, graduated from a domestic 2 1 1 university majoring in human resources. Fortunately, she was selected by a public institution of Shenzhen Municipal Government to do human resource management. The salary of this job is much higher than that of ordinary civil servants, and the welfare benefits are also quite good. Moreover, Mei, as one of the few undergraduates in the unit, is highly valued by the director of administrative human resources. Institutions are idle, and the work can be finished in one hour every day, and then some units are busy on business trips. Over the past few years, Mei has traveled all over the country, and Sister Xiang's ability has greatly appreciated the leadership, suggesting for many times that the future position of human leadership belongs to her. Besides, Mei has an enviable love. Her boyfriend is an American doctor, a famous university in the west, majoring in IT. He is tall and strong, but he has a gentle spirit, which is a good match with the small and lovely Mei. Many girls may think that this is a desirable life state, with a comfortable and leisurely job, generous and stable treatment, and a boyfriend with good looks, high academic qualifications and career expectations. Life seems to be so perfect. Her relationship with her boyfriend has lasted for two years and is in a stable stage. They are also planning their own future. My boyfriend wants to stay in the United States for further development in the future. With his prestigious school background and popular IT major, the expected salary is also considerable among native Americans, so they also began to plan the typical American-style life of Chinese couples: boys concentrate on their studies, find a well-paid job after finishing their master's and postdoctoral degrees, and shoulder the financial burden of their families, while girls quit their dispensable jobs in China to accompany them to the United States, and then become full-time housewives, single-family villas and couples. In the case of Mei, many girls may choose to accompany them to the United States and then take the road of full-time housewives. However, Mei has been hesitating and shrinking. Her relationship with her boyfriend is stable, but the long-distance love across the Pacific still makes Mei feel a little worried at the same time. She always sends psychological tests to her boyfriend through msn in her spare time. From psychological test to tarot card analysis, Mei is verifying her boyfriend's loyalty to herself bit by bit, but she also reveals her inner anxiety bit by bit. Although sweet cards have been sent from America one after another, although expensive gifts have been sent to the company continuously, and although holiday greetings and flowers have not been forgotten, this has not alleviated her anxiety. Not only for this feeling, but also for the future and myself. Although just an ordinary girl, in her twenties, she saw through her future at a glance and saw her life as a full-time housewife for the rest of her life. She feels that life should not be just like this. May's English has always been very good. When she was in college, she always dreamed of studying in America. When she graduated from college, she actually applied to an American school and was admitted to the anthropology graduate program of a university. Unfortunately, she was refused a visa and failed. At this time, I suddenly understood why she wanted to find a boyfriend who was studying for a doctorate in the United States. She saw in him the realization of her dream of studying in the United States, and he satisfied her unfulfilled wish in a sense. But later, she should have found out that it was the realization of his dream of studying abroad, which was realized by his own efforts. Even if she could share it, she didn't work hard after all. She wants to make another breakthrough on her own before they get married. She also wants to create a world of her own by her own efforts. So she secretly made the decision to study abroad. After consulting with her boyfriend, she chose to study in Europe, where visas were relatively easy, because she had refused to sign an American visa. One year after finishing her master's degree, she went to the United States to reunite with her boyfriend and register for marriage. Hiding from the leadership of her roommate's best friend and colleagues at work, she began to secretly review the IELTS test and GMAT test. Although she is not too busy at work, she can never do exercises and practice listening openly, so she spends her time after work little by little, and her grades are improved little by little without shopping and watching movies. Half a year later, she finally got a notice of admission to a European university and got a scholarship (because of her excellent IELTS score, good GMAT score and some professional work experience). With the support of this small prize, she can use the money praised during her three years of work to pay tuition and living expenses outside the scholarship. May is a very pragmatic and cautious person. After getting the visa, she told her best friend and colleagues that she was going to study in Europe and went through the resignation procedure, which surprised everyone. Although my boyfriend and I had in-depth communication and long-term planning before studying abroad, and I didn't ask my boyfriend to pay any fees for studying abroad, the decision to study in Europe obviously had a bad influence on their relationship. But in the early days of studying abroad, she had to adapt to the school environment and was busy with heavy studies, completely unaware of it. One day three months after she arrived in Holland, her boyfriend suddenly broke up with her on MSN. She felt suddenly, and her boyfriend didn't have any signs before. This may be the biggest drawback of long-distance love. After every day's sweet words and flowers, you can't see the real love life of your other half. They all expect different feelings. Mei, with the thoughts of contemporary women, hopes that two people are equal in personality, have their own careers, and can realize their self-worth, not just confined to family responsibilities. And her boyfriend, may be such a consideration at the beginning, or two people can't know each other, but later he should be a girlfriend who is used to being with him all the time, asking her horoscope and psychological questions and answers every day. He feels that he is the master of the future family, the hope of the family and the focus of everyone's attention. He hopes that his other half can stick to himself tightly, so that he can concentrate on his career and take care of his family by the other half. Mei stuck to her long-distance relationship for three years, so she came to an abrupt end unprepared. The breakup proposed by her boyfriend hit May hard. She cried all night, and the next morning when she dried her tears, it suddenly occurred to her that there was the first exam this semester. Much like the plot in a novel or TV series, right? How can it be such a coincidence? To tell the truth, I don't believe it would be so clever if I didn't understand it, but real life is often much more exciting than TV dramas and novels. This is a question given by a famous professor Yan in the department. I stayed up for several nights, and the next night I drank three cups of espresso before I went to the exam in high spirits and barely passed. Mei, who cried all night, finished the exam in a trance the next day and almost failed. I didn't break up with my boyfriend in the first exam, which made Mei, who was already slim, even more frustrated. We were all worried about her during that time, but Mei's fighting spirit was obviously aroused. She studied very hard and passed the make-up exam smoothly. Moreover, it was the careful study of this subject that enabled her to successfully find a tutor in the subsequent topic selection and complete the thesis very smoothly in advance. Later, when we were still busy with the thesis, she had easily applied for a diploma and graduated early. We suggested that she go out to play in other countries. Watching her study and write papers day and night for months, we all think it is really not easy for her to study abroad this year. She is already busy looking for a job. The country where she studied is not a traditional immigrant (Weibo) country, so it is not easy to find a job. Most local enterprises need China students with a background in science and engineering, but there are occasional opportunities for business majors in human resources. The other party wants to have some local language background. After all, it will be much more convenient for human resources work to deal with local employees and know some local languages. After we know this, tell her it's good for you to go back to work, so you don't have to look for a job here. However, she seriously analyzed with us that although this year's study has improved her academic qualifications, she has no experience in human resources work in foreign companies and the form of returning to China to find a job is not optimistic. She must find a large foreign company to do human resources-related work for several years before she can return to China. She has extensive contacts with her classmates, including school teachers. Later, a local classmate recommended an internship institution for international students. This organization can help graduates find jobs, and it has extensive business contacts all over the world. Our school has branches of this organization. Mei found the person in charge of this organization and found that he is also a student of our school. He told Mei that they had a job search system. After registering the basic information, they can use their database to find internships and jobs around the world. May immediately submitted an application and looked for opportunities in the system. Because most of them are enterprises outside the Netherlands, many enterprises require telephone interviews, often in the middle of the night, early morning and early morning. I didn't seem to see May very much during that time, because she always had a telephone interview in the middle of the night and had a rest during the day. It's really not easy for her to think about the routine. Moreover, she often receives interview invitations from enterprises in India, Pakistan, Tanzania and other countries, and she is also fully prepared and interviewed. At this time, we saw the huge potential energy contained in her thin body. Many things happen. A few months later, she finally found a job that surprised us. A Swiss multinational bank recruits interns on a global scale every year, and there are only ten people in different positions around the world every year. Because the salary is really generous, it is usually the president of the student union of the branch of this organization who gets the opportunity. There is no suitable candidate for the human resources position this year. Mei has accumulated a lot of telephone interview experience before, and this time she seized the opportunity. She was sent to work in the Singapore branch of Swiss bank for one year, and then she could choose to return to the Swiss headquarters or be promoted to other global branches. For students majoring in human resources, human resources opportunities in the financial industry are the most rare, not to mention opportunities in this Swiss bank. We asked curiously about the salary, and the salary she got from her internship in recent months has been much higher than that of our doctor in Europe. Perhaps compared with some big cows, her study abroad experience is not particularly brilliant, but I think she really tried her best to win the opportunity. When I give advice to students, many students will ask me: Teacher, do you think I can find a job in the local area after graduation? For some local scarce talents or top talents in general majors, of course, there are great opportunities. But for ordinary students who graduated from general majors, finding a job is really not an easy task. However, through Mei's example, we can also learn that there are many channels to find a job and it takes a lot of efforts. Whether you can find it in the end depends largely on your persistence and determination. After a year of emotional setbacks and difficulties in finding a job, Mei has opened up a bright career path for herself with her persistence and determination. She has adapted well to working in Singapore, where she can meet financial elites from all over the world, which is very different from the world she saw when studying in European countries. She is also constantly adjusting herself, exercising herself and seeking more opportunities for her future career development. Emotionally, she is charming, with oriental charm, and naturally there are many suitors. At the end of a recent conversation, she told me that her ex-boyfriend who broke up with her recently contacted her again, probably seeing photos of her playing in Singapore and at the company banquet in space. She said that her ex-boyfriend graduated with a doctorate and is looking for a job. Also carefully asked her if she welcomed him to work in Singapore. She refused. Mei is no longer the little girl who just wanted to graduate early and go to America to find a boyfriend to marry. This year's study abroad brought her not only professional progress, career promotion and income growth, but also personality independence and emotional maturity. The latter two may be the most important things she gained in the process of studying abroad, and they are also the places that many single girls need to experience and grow up in the process of studying abroad. I met many girls whose other half has been abroad in consultation, and not all girls regard their boyfriends as the basis for studying abroad. More and more girls are no longer willing to cling to the elite who have made little achievements in their study abroad, but choose to harvest an equal love through their study abroad. One day at the end of work, I received a girl who came to consult Swiss hotel management. She majored in English and worked for three years after graduation. Now she wants to study hotel management in Switzerland. With three years of experience in tourism service industry, exquisite makeup and slim figure, I am definitely an elite in the wine management industry after graduation. The consultation went well, and finally she mentioned that my boyfriend was studying in Germany and could come to see me often. I have met many girls who want to reunite with their boyfriends through studying abroad. None of them went to the university in their city, so I casually asked her: Do you want me to choose a university near Germany for you to study hotel management? Unexpectedly, she refused firmly. She said that my choice of school must be determined by my major and the quality of the school. I don't need to be near him. Europe is not big. Whenever he misses me, he comes to see me. I also admire the simple answer, clear thinking of studying abroad and independent women. Finally, a passage from Yi Shu is attached to encourage the girls who have studied abroad or are about to embark on the journey of studying abroad. "My destination is health and talent. A person can be trusted after all, but that is himself. It is himself who can stand up for him. What destination do I want? I found myself, and I am my destination.