Jerry, you're finally on. How to conduct psychological reconstruction after divorce?

Jerry, since the divorce, it's like a different person.

To plunge into a career, from the outside world, is like being reborn.

With the help of "Sound Coming to the Scene", Jerry imitated the role many times, and frequently made hot searches through ghostly dubbing, which surprised netizens: "Jerry finally lit up. After leaving Li XiaoLu, life is on the right track. "

The four tones in "Sound Come" are just like his nickname "A Night Pearl".

The first paragraph: Yuan, who plays in Yan Xi Palace, has a grudge.

Yuan is the half-brother of Emperor Qianlong and an illegitimate child. Because of his ill-fated life experience, he became a eunuch and lived a ghost-free life from then on.

Yuan vented all his anger and resentment on him, but he didn't spit it out.

Jerry not only restored Yuan's voice as a eunuch, but even joined his own artistic creation. Ren Zhihong, a teacher in the National Archives, spoke highly of it.

The second paragraph: Journey to the West steals ginseng fruit, one person acts as a triangle, and the voice can be switched freely.

When the Monkey King's voice came out, I thought it was the original sound. Then quickly switch to the voice of Pig Bajie, inhale heavily, and smoothly switch to the calm and low voice of Friar Sand.

The free switching of three different voices shows the skill. How can you be perfect without hard work?

The third paragraph: Nezha plays Shen with sharp resentment.

In this passage, Jerry truly reproduces Shen's sadness, sharpness and growl that his master doesn't pay attention to him and treats him unfairly.

When these three voices were matched, among the guests present, Hu Jun and Cecilia Han robbed people online and even got up. When Jerry came on stage, the audience burst into cheers. People prefer to see a positive and energetic actor.

In a "rob people" activity, Jerry successfully teamed up with Cecilia Han and ushered in the fourth dubbing. Jerry turned into "Su Daqiang" and once again released his potential.

The fourth paragraph: Everything is OK is played by Su Daqiang, and Cecilia Han is played by Su Mingyu.

Su Daqiang had Alzheimer's disease and forgot the past. He can't even recognize his own daughter. He only remembers that Mingyu 15 had to take the senior high school entrance examination, and his wife didn't give him any money. He secretly saved 30 yuan to buy books for Mingyu.

Mingyu "blamed" her father for not being able to find anyone when he went out on New Year's Eve, and they accidentally tore up the letter of criticism in the dispute. Su Daqiang blamed Mingyu, and Mingyu wept bitterly. Then Su Daqiang was distressed that the girl got lost and wanted to take her home.

This interpretation earned enough tears from the audience. Jerry's Su Daqiang not only has a similar voice, but also has a good look and expression, which shows Su Daqiang's illness but he doesn't know it.

Through these four dubbing, Jerry showed his strength to everyone and let the audience see a different "bright brother".

After the divorce, Jerry gradually walked out of the haze of divorce and lived himself, no longer turning himself into another unreal self to please others.

Once, in order to please his ex-wife, Li XiaoLu, Jerry would be funny, wear hip-hop clothes, marry a wife and love her deeply and kiss her feet.

The last three sentences in the program never leave Li XiaoLu and the children, which makes people mistakenly think that Jerry is such a "worthless" man. Even Li XiaoLu would call Jerry "neurotic".

Jerry, who came out of the divorce storm, has become a night pearl, living as the brightest star, just trying to illuminate her life.

Divorce is like an operation. Some people face it bravely, cross the peak and usher in a new life. Some people are afraid of surgery, unable to surpass themselves, and finally live in the shadow of divorce.

Psychologists Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberty said in their book being Better than: "People's emotional experiences during and after divorce are very similar to those when facing death.

At first, people will go through a period of denial, refuse to admit what has happened, and then want to escape from their environment. Then there is anger, blaming others for getting yourself into trouble.

The third level is haggle over every ounce. At this stage, people want to take out their own books and make everything clear.

Then there is the period of depression, during which people feel sorry for themselves and have a strong sense of failure. Went through all the stages. People will eventually accept the reality and accept themselves. Only in this way can there be hope for the future. Psychological reconstruction takes time, and people should give themselves time to awaken the paralyzed, depressed or unknown parts of their hearts. "

Bruce Fisher, Ph.D. in Education, has been working for more than 30 years, founded the "Psychological Reconstruction Model after Divorce", and co-authored the book "Being a Better Self after Breaking Up" with psychologist and marriage and family therapist Dr. Robert Eberty. The book introduces in detail how to carry out psychological reconstruction through 19 module. Known as the pioneer of family therapy and the guide to emotional healing, the sales volume has exceeded one million.

So, how to carry out psychological reconstruction after divorce?

First: face loneliness bravely.

After divorce, people may face unprecedented loneliness. This loneliness is like peeling a cocoon. Once upon a time, husband and wife were inseparable, just like a couple, just like a person.

Now, when your spouse suddenly leaves, it's like pulling away from your soul. Your heart will not only hurt, but also feel hollowed out.

When facing the familiar environment and familiar objects, it is inevitable to see something and think of some people, but things have already changed, so the inner loneliness arises spontaneously.

After divorce, the first thing you should do is to face loneliness bravely, treat it as an objective thing, accept it, and never avoid negative treatment and drown your sorrows in wine, which will only make you more miserable and lonely. The so-called drowning in wine is even more worrying.

1. The first stage of loneliness: retreat

At this stage, people often escape or begin to fantasize, and always feel that their other half has left, and they are very pitiful. I hope someone will sympathize with him.

2. The second stage of loneliness: becoming a workaholic

When a divorced person passes the first lonely stage, he will stop shrinking and become a "workaholic" like a different person. They work hard and have a full schedule just to cover up their lonely situation. In doing so, I still dare not face myself in the final analysis.

Just like Jerry, he worked crazily after divorce, which made outsiders look that he was living well, busy and full, but now he is still in a lonely period. He still has a long way to go and needs a long time to adjust his mentality.

Bruce Fisher's research found that it takes about two years to get out of the "divorce period" completely. In the real world, it is impossible for people to completely change from married to divorced in a few weeks or months.

3. The third stage of loneliness: learn to be lonely.

When divorced people gradually accept loneliness, realize that the reality has happened and accept the reality that their partners have left, they stop struggling, stop covering up their inner trauma with crazy work and learn to be alone.

When a person is alone, he no longer feels sorry for himself. Mentally healthy people, whether alone or with others, can be in a balanced state of mind.

Not long ago, divorced Ma Yili was photographed leaning against the wall, holding a cigarette, smiling from time to time while playing with her mobile phone, as if enjoying her single life. Although a person, but the heart is still quite rich, life after divorce is also unique.

Second: Let go of your obsession and liberate yourself.

Many people always say that they have let go of their predecessors, and they don't love him or hate him. However, although the mouth can deceive people, the behavior will not deceive people. I still have a wedding ring on my hand, a wedding photo in my room, and my ex in my mouth. Whether you say good things or bad things about your predecessor, whether you recall sweet moments or you are angry with your predecessor, it proves that you have not let go.

What is put down?

For the simplest example, when you cross your fingers and suddenly open them, that moment is the feeling of "relief" and letting go.

How to prove that you have not put it down?

When you talk about your ex, you can talk about it without any emotion, whether it is happy, painful or angry, just like talking about someone who has nothing to do with yourself, which shows that you have let go, don't care and liberated yourself.

To really let go, you must do two things:

1. Let go of your fears

People during divorce are afraid because they don't trust themselves, they are afraid of the future, they are afraid that they can't face the unknown world, they are afraid to live alone, and they are more worried that they will die alone, no one will fall in love with her, and no one will remarry.

First of all, you can clean up your ex's things, so as to avoid daydreaming. You can change the furniture, change the big bed and bedding into new ones, so that everything looks like there is no trace of your predecessor.

Secondly, try to move, change a new environment, accept fresh air, and face new people who don't know your past and won't gossip about your bad divorce history.

Furthermore, try to change a job, put yourself in a new working environment, and let yourself forget the trivial things and troubles in life.

Invest in yourself

The ex is a thing of the past, so don't continue to be emotionally involved. Divorced people should learn to invest in themselves and let them grow up quickly. When you grow up and become a brand-new self, you will have a satisfying life.

Xu Zhimo, a great talent in the Republic of China, pursued Lin crazily and almost lost his mind while studying in Britain. In order to marry Lin, he forced his wife Zhang Youyi to have an abortion.

Zhang Youyi is very painful, but also very helpless. With the help of his brother, he gave birth to a child. When Xu Zhimo appeared, he did not visit his weak wife, but divorced Zhang Youyi with a divorce agreement.

Zhang Youyi signed with tears, and later Xu Zhimo failed to marry Lin, but Zhang Youyi lived to be the best of himself.

Zhang Youyi studied German hard after her divorce and was admitted to Pestalozzi College in Germany. After returning to China, she served as the general manager of a clothing company and the vice president of a bank. After immigrating to Hong Kong, she married Su Jizhi's doctor. Her husband loved her all his life and his children were virtuous. It can be said that you live the best of yourself, just like a walking inspirational sister.

Divorce is not terrible. The terrible thing is not to invest in yourself.

Third: regain freedom and break the cocoon into a butterfly.

It is mentioned in "Be a Better Self after Breaking Up" that freedom is the last module and the peak of psychological reconstruction module.

When divorced people reach the realm of "freedom", it has already shown that they can get rid of the haze of divorce and live their own lives.

Freedom has two levels:

One is freedom of choice, that is, you can freely choose to be a single aristocrat and enjoy a free single life, or you can enter the next relationship and enjoy the beauty of love.

One is the freedom to be yourself. Let's take Jerry as an example. During their marriage, Li XiaoLu married Jerry and felt married. All kinds of people look down on Jia, and Jia knows that Li doesn't really like himself, so he keeps catering to his wife's interests. Li XiaoLu can do whatever he likes.

I lost myself in the marriage and became another strange self. In fact, my heart is contradictory and awkward.

When divorced people choose to be themselves, they can sing and eat whenever they want. You no longer need to deliberately suppress their negative emotions such as sadness, anger, loneliness and abandonment.

You feel good about being yourself and being free to control your life.

You used to be your greatest enemy, but now you have succeeded in getting rid of this demon.

Then congratulations, you have regained your freedom, broken the cocoon into a butterfly and started a new life journey.

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