Women immigrated from white-collar workers to the United States to be housewives.

When many people are still looking forward to the life of immigrants, Zhang, a Shanghai girl who was once a famous school and a powerful person in the workplace, has already lived in Silicon Valley in the United States and started a full-time housewife. With two children, she is responsible for washing, cooking and growing vegetables every day. Having lived in America for nearly half a year, she has expressed her feelings. I just came to America from Shanghai, and I really felt chest tightness for a while. A well-educated intellectual woman suddenly became a real housewife.

It's like one minute I was dressing up in the office and pointing fingers at the contract; The next minute, all of a sudden, rice, oil and salt pots and pans, deal with the baby's shit, cry for a day. This psychological gap is really not a little bit.

Want to work? Unrealistic!

Compared with American housewives around me, my ability to survive is really shameful.

In my eyes, American mothers are strong and ingenious. Things weighing dozens of pounds are picked up and left, and it is effortless for three or five babies to take them out shopping. Driving, taking care of the baby and cooking are just basic skills. Many American mothers I know can sew clothes, change oil and change tires.

The mother of her son and classmate, with two children alone, has to go to school to volunteer from time to time. I asked her where she had so much time, and she said? Staying at home is too idle, so you must find something to do. ? However, why do I feel that I have two babies and I don't even have enough time to sleep?

Compared with Chinese mothers in a circle of friends, do you feel beaten every day? Are you overqualified? . Is it meaningful to clean the room? Is it meaningful to mediate children's fights? Is it meaningful to think about the nutritional collocation of three meals every day? After years of hard work, I went to a famous university and received higher education. Now I don't even want a primary school diploma.

Let's take a look at the female students who stay in China. After becoming a mother, she still worked hard in the workplace and got the certificate of certified public accountant. So-and-so, got the first-class architect qualification; So-and-so became a partner in a law firm; Who else, a small company that used to run, now has a profit of millions a year.

Every time I see their good news, I envy them, and I will think sourly in my heart: I am also a schoolmaster with high IQ, and the job I am looking for is not bad!

I really want to go to work. But going to work is really unrealistic for me.

For example, my son is five years old this year. I think he went to kindergarten in China from 8: 00 a.m. to 4: 00 p.m., and the municipal demonstration park is the most expensive file in public kindergartens, and the monthly food cost is only 1000 RMB.

Now in America, he attends TK, which is similar to elementary school preparatory class. Public schools are free, but TK only goes to school for three hours every day. 12 after school, there is nothing to do and no food to eat.

My daughter is three years old and can go to public kindergartens in China. But in America, you have to be five years old to go to public schools, and children under five can go to private schools if they don't want to stay at home. The kind that packs lunch all day, at least 1600 a month.

On balance, we sent her to a community kindergarten, which was cheaper, but only for two and a half days a week. Friends at home said sympathetically, What's the difference between this and not this? There is still a difference. They have three hours of classes every day, and it takes me an hour to pick up and drive back and forth on the road.

In this way, my husband still accounts with me! He said:? You see, you go to work, I find an aunt to cook and take care of the children, 3000 yuan a month; I want to send all my children to private schools for at least $5,000 a month. Do we have to discount our tax refund?

Yes, if you are a single young man, 40% of your monthly salary is used to pay taxes. So my value as a housewife is as high as $65,438+0,000 per month. So, until I find a job worth $65,438+0,000, I still have to stay at home and buy daily necessities.

Only one word is expensive!

Besides being busy and tired, another biggest feeling after coming to America is that money is not enough.

For example, everyone says that American housing prices are cheap. Anyway, I don't feel anything in Silicon Valley. The United States has a big house with more than 200,000 dollars, depending on the location. You can't compare the house prices in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou with those in underdeveloped areas in the United States.

Of course, if you want to compare the unit price, the developed areas in the United States are not as expensive as China. The problem is that there are no small houses for sale in America. Let's just say that you need to build a nest in a big city in China, with an area of 60 square meters and a starting price of 2 million RMB.

But you are in America. With this money, you can't buy a house in a developed area at all. A $500,000 house is super cheap to start with. I want to buy a 60 square meter apartment, but the developer hasn't sold it to you yet. They all keep it for rent.

Choose to rent a house? Rents in developed areas of the United States are prohibitively expensive. In our San Francisco Bay Area, a small apartment with two bedrooms and one living room can be rented for $2,500. Moreover, the rent has been rising recently, and it is normal to increase by one or two hundred per year.

After going abroad, our house in Shanghai was not sold, and the intermediary kept calling to persuade us to rent it out. One of them told me excitedly: a well-decorated three-bedroom and two-bedroom apartment like yours, and now the monthly rent can reach 8,000 yuan! ? I calculated that it was only $65,438+0,000, which was a bit unreasonable.

Not only the rent, but also the gas and electricity bills. The most magical time was June 5438+February last year, because the gas heating was turned on for a few days because of the cold weather. At night, it is also said that the node can only turn on the electric oil in the bedroom. Unexpectedly, the bill at the end of the month is still shocking: the gas and electricity bill is nearly $300!

I remember when it was hot in Shanghai, my mother retired at home and turned on the air conditioner 24 hours a day. The two children take baths several times a day, and all the expenses add up to only 600 RMB a month. In addition, because of watering the lawn, my family's water fee is 100 yuan a month.

Of course, compared with the labor cost of coal, hydropower can basically be regarded as a cloud. We have a friend who lives in new york. It will snow in winter, so we have to turn on the heating. As a result, the heating broke down one day. He called the manufacturer and was told that the heating equipment was still under warranty and all the accessories could be replaced free of charge. My friend was overjoyed. Two days later, an old uncle came and tinkered for hours. After that, he handed his friend a bill: 1500 dollars! Labor costs!

After coming to America, we bought a German car, and American friends even praised us after hearing about it. Rich people? . At the same time, he warned that German cars are expensive to maintain and cannot afford to raise. In less than two days, the car was overhauled and we received the bill of 1000.

Learn from the painful experience. We chose a Japanese car as our second car, and we had a slight scratch when we drove out of go road trip. It should be repaired within 2000 RMB in China. As a result, the American insurance company came to fix the loss and told us to repair 1200 dollars, of which 500 dollars must be paid by ourselves.

I talked about this in the WeChat circle of friends, and my domestic friends expressed their sympathy. A friend said: It only costs one million to buy a used car in America.

The replies from American friends are all very strange. One of them said, no need to repair it. It will be cheaper to repair it next time. ? The other said:? Why not hammer it yourself? I thought he was joking, but he soon sent an online link seriously, saying that just watch the online tutorial.

No wonder driving on the streets of America, you can see broken cars that have been smashed and left unattended every day. Some lights are glued with scotch tape, and some windows are cellophane.

Because labor is expensive, my American friends are all DIY experts. They repair roofs, drains, paint walls and mow lawns themselves.

For example, a friend of mine doesn't mention the common tools such as hammers in the tool room, as well as lawn mowers, hair dryers (big guys blowing leaves on their shoulders in autumn), chainsaws (used to saw branches) and electric drills (said to be used to dig the ground and grow flowers).

If his sewer is blocked, he will go to the cleaning company to rent a whole set of plumbing equipment; When the carpet was dirty, he rented a carpet cleaner. He also rented a van to move by himself, but he couldn't move any more. He just invited an old ink to help him. I said if the black workers touch your things, they won't pay! A friend said that the regular moving company broke something, and you didn't buy insurance or pay for it, and the moving fee was so expensive that you had to buy a new cabinet.

An American neighbor of mine is a mechanical enthusiast. Open his garage door and you can find a small garage. He even used his spare time to assemble three grotesque motorcycles!

Different values

Later, I discovered that the hard work and courage of the American people were actually cultivated from an early age.

I have a neighbor who has two daughters. She goes to the community college to study every day, and she can also go to the bar at night. I asked her what the secret was, and she said? My eldest daughter 12 years old. According to the law, she can stay at home alone and she can take care of her sister. They can also cook for themselves. If you need them to do any odd jobs in your home, just say so. They can also do hourly jobs, help you take care of your children and earn pocket money. ? Is this your own mother? It is the rhythm of treating children as child labor.

Another time in the park, I saw a mother with six children. She easily pushed the stroller in front, and a long line of children in the back were crying and laughing, which was completely solved by the boss and the second child. After that, I was deeply inspired. Now my son can help my sister wash her face and get dressed.

However, such living conditions are still difficult for Chinese mothers who have just arrived. I once met a new immigrant mother while walking in the park. Her husband is an executive of an IT company. She chatted with me and cried.

She said:? When I came to America, I felt tired and poor. I can't take it anymore. Why can't you hire a nanny? Why do I have to take care of the children alone? One day I was so sad that I cried in the laundry room. American houses are big and empty. Only the laundry room is small but warm. ?

In fact, which new immigrant mother hasn't cried? I often hear China's new mother say to her husband: You liar lied to me about taking me to see the prosperous capitalist America, and you tricked me into a big country alive! ?

Yes, you must live in the country. In broad daylight, in urban areas of the United States, you can see drug dealers on the streets. High-quality rural communities can leave their doors and cars unlocked for several days, and things worth hundreds of dollars are left unattended at the door.

A few days ago, I was digging in the yard with a newly bought shovel to grow vegetables. I suddenly remembered my days in Shanghai, and even called the property manager to change the lock. The property master charged 20 yuan, I think he overcharged. Life at that time was so melodramatic.

But the American people don't seem to care. Whether driving an old car or working on their own, they do it with relish. It's different in China. Everyone pays attention to face.

I remember I attended a class reunion in China. After a hearty meal, everyone went out for tea. The parking lot is full of BMWs. It seems that everyone is embarrassed to drive without BMWs.

But my husband's American boss drives a creaking old car all day, although his men's car is several grades higher than his. Husband, an American colleague in his 60 s has nothing to do and often brainwashes him: drive a Japanese car. My car has been driving for 14 years, and nothing has happened. I have no reason to replace it at all. ?

Learn to enjoy a slow life

In fact, I am used to living in America, and I find some lovely places here. For example, in our community, there are big trees that one person can't hold. You can see a large forest within half an hour's drive. There are clear rivers, lakes, blue transparent sea and beautiful starry sky. Hundreds of kilometers of coastline with invincible seascape in California, the Loki Mountains are winding, and there are free big parks everywhere.

So Americans go hiking or camping on weekends, or riding, boating and surfing. Americans generally like being poor and happy. Many people are driving on the road in a broken car that they can't repair. They often drag the luggage compartment behind the pickup truck with sleeping bags, food and drinks, cats, dogs and children. There is a bicycle in front of the car with a kayak tied to it.

In domestic tourist attractions, we often see many hurried tour groups. Everyone got off the bus in a hurry, took photos and ran away.

When I came to America, I was far from my hometown, but closer to my family. In the past, my husband always said that he was tired from work. Anyway, there were nannies and old people to help. After returning home, I often have nothing to do with my hands, or go to dinner, and I often have dinner at night and weekends.

I am also very busy, going out shopping with my girlfriends and watching movies in the early morning. It's all right now. Shopping malls and supermarkets have long been closed, and few restaurants can enter the eyes of China people. The almost zero American nightlife made us go home at once. We study recipes together, cook together, take our children to sing together, go hiking on weekends and travel on holidays.

Slowly, I learned to roast steak, cook desserts and cook all kinds of complicated Chinese dishes. I can also grow vegetables, flowers, water and fertilize, and catch slugs. Best of all, I also learned to cut my family's hair.

Slowly, I learned to slow down, to appreciate life, to enjoy the time with my children, to practice for a long time, and then to wait for a flower to bloom slowly. When I was in China, I was often anxious, forcing myself to work hard, and I often felt insecure, because at that time, I felt that I would not be happy without money. When I arrived in America, I began to feel that I could be happy even if I didn't have much money.

That night, I stood at the door watching the stars. My neighbor, American aunt, just went out and stopped to watch the stars with me. She told me which is Mars and which is Jupiter. Planets don't blink, but stars do. She told me the name of each constellation and described the spectacular meteor shower in August.

In fact, this American aunt is an ordinary person. Her only job is to help her nephew take care of the children. At that moment, I suddenly found that even a housewife, I can be very stylish, stylish and cool!