Why do some people look ugly themselves, but find someone else ugly? What kind of psychology is this?

In real life, there are always some people who complain that they can't find someone, especially girls. The single women we understand, you may think that they are neglected, but in fact, there are a long list of suitors behind her, but they are not satisfied with their suitors.

Their requirements for selecting objects have exceeded their matching attributes. That is, you say you are ugly, and you dislike others' ugliness.

This phenomenon exists between men and women. The main reasons for this phenomenon are inferiority complex and inferiority complex about appearance.

Inferiority is the source of inner sadness. Therefore, people who look inferior often want to find a beautiful object.

They transfer their longing for a beautiful face to the object through intimacy. This will satisfy my desire for a beautiful face. They need to get happiness from each other's beauty to fill their inner sadness caused by inferiority. This desire is very strong. So the uglier you are, the more you want to find beautiful ones.

And those who have always been beautiful, because there is no lack of beauty, often pay little attention to each other's looks when looking for an object. So there is the famous saying that "all good cabbages are arched by pigs, and a flower is inserted in cow dung".

Another possibility is that these ugly people belong to idealists. Everyone has a love of beauty, and the idealized pursuit of beautiful things never considers practical factors. Therefore, many melodramatic people prefer to be single, and their partners must be very satisfied.

There is a saying that pretending to be forced is the same. Everyone wants to find a good-looking person, which is understandable.

However, everyone should work hard to make their own strength pay for their own requirements.

If you go to work all day, earn less money and work harder, then give up your fantasy as soon as possible and find someone who doesn't dislike you. A mountain wife and young son go to the countryside for dinner, which does not harm lovesickness or money.

The same is true for those girls. They can become beautiful without losing weight and makeup, which is called natural beauty. It all looks natural. Instead of buying cosmetics, it is better to find a way to be gentle and virtuous, and let it be. Everyone loves you when you are infatuated, and everyone is suspicious when you look coldly.

1. Simple love of beauty

Everyone loves beauty, and these people are more thorough. Platinum members of Appearance Association devote their lives to the pursuit of beauty.

In this regard, abandoning the ugliness of others and pursuing beauty (male) are not necessarily related to their ugliness. They have been longing for beautiful faces and beautiful things.

Extend it a little: "ugly", you know? Some people don't think they are ugly, and even think they look better than Pan An. They remember what they looked like at their peak: cute when they were born, lush faces when they were young, and frankness when they first entered the university campus. A middle-aged greasy man with a big belly thinks that he is just an old handsome boy now.

2. Ugly people make more trouble.

Compared with ordinary people, ugly people get less respect and love in the process of growing up, and it is not easy to find a reasonable exit. Psychological defense mechanism is mostly negative, even personality distortion.

In life events such as mate selection, they often win attention and recognition with words and deeds different from ordinary people. If the object doesn't meet (beautiful) expectations, a wave of operations in their minds begins.

3. The victim's verbal attack on the perpetrator.

Ugly people and people who don't like ugliness are not antagonistic groups, and both of them have the possibility of transformation. An ugly person may transfer his "ugly evaluation" to others and become an ugly person.

Growing up, they heard a lot of words like "You are so ugly" and were rejected by most people for a long time. The idea that ugliness should be rejected took root in my mind and gradually agreed with it.

Over time, they became a group of people who laughed at themselves in those years, and even more seriously hurt the ugly people they came into contact with.

4. Create a better life for future generations

If you modify the question a little, this psychological orientation will be more obvious. Simply put, it is impossible for future generations to have my negative qualities without dealing with people of the same kind.

Why do some people look short, but they think others are not tall when looking for someone? (The spouse is tall to make up for the lack of height and ensure the quality of future generations. )

Why do some rural people think that others are rural when looking for someone? (After marriage, I was less influenced by the negative rural environment (including but not limited to customs), and my descendants were less affected by this. )

Why do poor people feel that others have poor economic conditions when looking for a partner? I don't want to be poor, and I don't want future generations to be poor. )

If they can, they essentially prefer "I am not such a person", even if it is not physical, it can't be psychological, and future generations must not be like this. Therefore, at the operational level, such risks are avoided to the greatest extent.

This phenomenon is normal, but you really can't ask your partner to be handsome just because you are ugly.

If you are lucky enough to find a handsome object, you should be lucky. What your partner looks like is not your appearance, but some qualities in your heart.

There is another situation, that is, you have a high degree or a high income. You can ask your partner to be handsome, or correspondingly, he has a high degree.

Just like you don't want others to do anything to you, how do you deserve your people? Let me take Ma Yun as an example. Ma Yun is not handsome, but he is rich, so his wife is very beautiful. As we all know, it seems to be the beauty queen.

My task now is mainly to improve my own strength. As long as I have the strength, then you can ask your other half to have the strength or outstanding appearance.

This is actually what we call "projection" in psychology. How we look at others is actually projecting our inner self onto others. In particular, we will project our own "bad" on others, and psychologically, there are two "bad" that our ego dislikes the most, one is hatred in the relationship, and the other is self-weakness.

The logic of projection is simple. It is easy for us to understand this in our minds, but it is very difficult to really experience and live. But we need to know one thing: how we look at others is actually projecting our inner self on others. In particular, I will project my "bad" on others. Once people understand this, they can change their minds.

When you can't face up to the raging hatred in your heart, these hatred will gradually transfer to others; But when we can face up to our weaknesses, we will have more courage and strength to face the complex real world.

Beauty and ugliness have nothing to do with intelligence. Beautiful men and ugly women, ugly women and beautiful men, there are many examples of marriage, but their families are all happy. There is a saying that green vegetables have their own love?

In view of this problem: I think if it is a male, it can be said that it is a genetic problem in evolutionary history, and this psychology can improve the reproductive rate of men, thus achieving the purpose of carrying on the family line; If it's a woman, it's a psychological problem.

This is because he doesn't feel ugly, and he doesn't feel ugly when he is used to looks. Love is blind. Yeah, let him recognize you. Ugliness is also beautiful. You are ugly if you don't recognize your own beauty. Because the boundary between ugliness and beauty is not clear.

In reality, we will find that many couples are complementary in personality, temper or other aspects. It is a biological instinctive motivation to make up for one's own shortcomings through the other half. For example, short girls like to find tall boyfriends and the cutest height difference; Short boys like tall girls.