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German Customs and Habits: How to Choose a Spouse in Germany

Today, young men and women in Germany have various opportunities to get in touch with each other. They may be introduced by relatives, friends, classmates, colleagues, or at dances or trips. They met at a recreational activity, and after a period of dating and falling in love, they finally decided to get married. They enjoy full freedom of love, which is no different from modern Western countries. However, Germany has some interesting customs when it comes to choosing a mate.

1. The Old Oak Tree

There is a famous old oak tree in Breedgrom in the Dudau Forest in Germany. People call it "The Old Oak Tree". There is a beautiful legend about this old oak tree. According to legend, more than 600 years ago, a prince was in danger during an encounter with an enemy and was rescued by a beautiful girl. The prince and the girl fell in love at first sight and formed a happy relationship. In order to repay the girl for saving her life, the prince planted this oak tree in the forest. Later generations envied the prince's adventures and came here to watch them, hoping to meet their special someone. There are actually some men and women who communicate their love through oak trees and hold weddings under the trees. Over time, the old oak tree took on the role of "Yue Lao". Every day, love letters with the address "D-2420 The Oak Tree of Bridgrom, Dudo Forest" are dropped into the hole of the old oak tree by the postman. These letters are public and can be opened and read by everyone. The young men and women waiting beside "Yue Lao" can read the letters to find their special someone. If you find someone you like, you can contact them by correspondence and make an appointment to meet. It is said that more than 5,000 pairs of young men and women have been married through the oak tree. Nowadays, the story of the old oak tree is spreading far and wide, so much so that young people from other countries are also sending love letters to this old oak tree in order to find a spouse. There are as many as 800 such love letters every year.

2. Chess is a lifelong skill

There is a small town in the southwest of Berlin called Hichobeek. People here have been very keen on chess for hundreds of years, and they are so obsessed that even the hat badges of the policemen on duty have been changed. Designed in a checkerboard pattern, a checkerboard was also installed on the church's spire to indicate the direction of the wind. When people get up early in the morning, they can see local officials going to work with official documents sandwiched between chessboards. People here learn to play chess from an early age, and there are "chess classes" in schools to help children learn to play chess from an early age. It is precisely because of this chess custom that when girls choose a spouse, the young man's chess skills become a major condition. Before a young man proposes to a girl, he must play a game with the girl's father. If the young man wins, he will be warmly entertained by the girl's family, and the marriage is almost guaranteed; if the young man loses, then sorry, the marriage can only be discussed after he improves his chess skills.

3． White birch trees express affection

In Bonn, Germany, a young man expresses his love for his beloved girl by giving a white duster tree as a poetic gift. Every spring when the flowers bloom, the young man will cut down a small birch tree with young leaves and branches and place it on the balcony or courtyard of the girl's house at midnight on April 30 or May 1 to express himself through the green tree. Deep love. During this season, you can see the lush green white willow trees in the streets, alleys, courtyards and balconies of Bonn. Some beautiful girls will have several birch trees in their courtyards at the same time. In this case, the girl will naturally be overjoyed, but the young men who gave the birch trees can only wait patiently for the girl's reply and cannot be hasty. Once he gets the girl's approval, the young man can give the girl a gemstone ring, and the girl expresses his gratitude with a kiss and accepts the courtship ring. After a while, when both parties were convinced that they were in love with each other, they gave each other silver rings to express their engagement. When they get married, they give each other gold rings to express that their love is as pure as gold.

4． Movie spouse selection

In Germany, the marriage management department helps young people solve marriage problems in various ways. One of the methods is to help some "waiting for marriage" girls to solve marriage problems in the form of filming movie advertisements. Girls can fully demonstrate their talents in all aspects of the film, especially in cooking, sewing, housekeeping and other domestic areas.

It is said that this fragrant herb can cure diseases and demons, and the godfather used this to express his love. At the same time, he would put some money under his godson's diaper or pillow as a principal for the child's future marriage. Some godfathers give their children books and pens in the hope that they will be smart and diligent. Nowadays, fashionable gifts are a small and exquisite silver beer mug for boys, and a necklace or a silver coffee cup for girls, with the child's name and baptismal date engraved on it. In rural Bavaria, it is customary for children's christening dinners to have leftover bread on the table after the meal, and to pack some food for the guests to take away after the meal. Bring some sausages and spirits to the male guests, some cakes and candies to the female guests, and even more generous gifts to the godfather to show that life is rich and more than enough. In Germany, baptismal candles are carefully collected and have special meaning in a child's life. It is said that lighting the baptismal candle can turn bad luck into good luck and get rid of all kinds of diseases. In some rural areas of Germany, this ancient custom is still followed religiously. In Germany, women can get a year's leave after giving birth. They can take it by themselves, or each of the couple can take six months' leave, so that both parties can jointly bear the responsibility of raising the child.

German customs and habits: Germans’ end-of-life comfort and funeral arrangements

In the Rhine region of Germany, an ancient custom that has been passed down since the Middle Ages is still followed: drinking deathbed wine. When a person is dying, he must take a sip of old wine. It is said that this kind of wine is holy wine, which can awaken the souls of the dead, disperse the evil spirits surrounding the hospital bed, and bring peace to the dying. Before a person dies, the family will light the baptismal candle, communion candle, and holy light candle, and light a large red candle at the same time, and place them next to the deceased. First, they use candlelight to bless the soul of the deceased; second, they illuminate the soul of the deceased. Light the way to heaven.

In German folklore, the mirror is regarded as a tool of the devil and a hiding place for the god of death. The devil uses the reflective ability of the mirror to disturb people's peace. Therefore, people should cover the mirror with cloth before they die, so that the deceased soul can peacefully get rid of the sins of the world and ascend to the Western Paradise. In the mountains of southern Germany, when a person is dying, his family will open the windows and remove the roof tiles. The purpose of this is to open a passage to another world for the dead, because they believe that people will live in another world after leaving the mortal world. People use these end-of-life comforts to enable the deceased to die peacefully.

Funeral

In Western Christian countries, funerals are generally held in churches. If someone dies in your family, you must first agree with the church on a funeral date and notify relatives and friends in an appropriate manner. In addition, the body must be washed with clean water. They believe that water has unlimited magical power. It can purify the human body, purify the human mind and soul, and dispel evil and suppress demons. People must be baptized when they come to the world, and their bodies must be washed when they leave the world to wash away all the sins in the world.

On the day of the funeral in the church, relatives and friends came to the church one after another holding flowers or wreaths. First, the pastor or priest presides over the memorial service, and the funeral participants sing hymns, play mourning music, pray, and read out the life story of the deceased provided by the bereaved family according to prior arrangements. The church funeral is only the first half of the funeral. The second half is held in the cemetery. Only the family, close relatives and close friends of the deceased attend. Generally, friends can leave after attending the church funeral without going to the cemetery. In Germany, most funerals are burials, with relatives and friends watching the coffin being buried in a pre-designated grave. People gathered around the tomb and prayed for the deceased, may his soul rest in peace and ascend to heaven. When invited to attend a funeral at a relative or friend's home, the only gift that can be given is flowers. You can send bouquets of flowers or wreaths made of fresh flowers (Germans do not use paper flowers to make wreaths). The names of the deceased, the mourners, and inscriptions such as "RIP" and "Farewell" should be written on the ribbons of flowers.

The most important thing to note when attending a funeral in Germany (and even in Western countries) is to wear black clothes as much as possible. Men should wear black ties without floral patterns. If black clothes are not available, wear dark and dark colors. clothes, avoid bright clothes. At the same time, you must remain solemn and quiet at the funeral, and do not talk or laugh loudly. Otherwise, it will be regarded as disrespectful to the bereaved family and appear to be lacking in education.

The entire funeral was immersed in a solemn atmosphere from beginning to end, with no scenes of chest-beating or crying. Except for the soft sobs, most people were meditating and praying silently to bid farewell to the deceased. Contrary to people's solemn expressions and dim clothing, Tokume's cemetery is colorful and full of flowers. The cemetery is surrounded by lush trees, mainly evergreen pines and cypresses. In the warm season, flowers bloom. Flowers not only represent people's remembrance of the dead, but also provide comfort to the living. Whenever they think of the deceased, people will go to the cemetery to sweep the grave, lay flowers, and stay quietly for a while to express their grief.

After the funeral, the bereaved family still has a mourning period. Although the requirements in this regard have become less strict in recent years, as a newly widowed woman, she will inevitably attract criticism for dressing up and socializing frequently just after her husband's death. Generally, newly widowed women are required to wear mainly plain and elegant colors. They should not participate in dances, banquets and large-scale lively events except for small gatherings. Relatives and friends should also be careful not to invite her to festive gatherings so that she can live a quiet life. Get through the period of mourning. The requirements for men with value-added couples are not as strict as those for widows, but they are also required to dress more appropriately within a certain period of time and avoid extravagant socializing.

German customs, understanding and knowing the German living habits is a very important thing for those who study, work or visit in Germany. If you don’t know anything in advance, you will inevitably make a joke or cause inconvenience to yourself. This is the saying goes: "When in town, do as the Romans do." But how can we be easygoing? This requires understanding in advance.

*Be disciplined and tidy*

Germans attach great importance to rules and discipline and take everything seriously. Germans will consciously abide by anything expressly stipulated; Germans will never touch anything explicitly prohibited. In the eyes of some people, in many cases, the Germans are almost dull, inflexible, and even a little unreasonable. But if you think about it carefully, this "inflexibility" is very beneficial. Without discipline, how can there be order? Without rules, how can we be serious?

Germans are very particular about cleanliness and tidiness. They not only pay attention to keeping their own small environment clean and tidy, but also attach great importance to the cleanliness and tidiness of the larger environment. In Germany, everything is clean and tidy, whether it is parks, streets, theaters or other public places. Germans also attach great importance to clothing. Wear work clothes when you work. Although you can dress more casually when you get home from get off work, you must be neatly dressed whenever you have guests visiting or going out for activities. When going to the theater or opera, women should wear long skirts and men should wear formal wear, at least in dark colors. This is especially true when attending social events or formal banquets.

*Be punctual and like quietness*

Germans are very punctual and will never change the agreed time without special circumstances. When Germans are invited to someone's home or to visit friends, they will arrive on time and will not let the host waste time waiting or have to entertain the guests in advance. Otherwise, it would be rude. If you are unable to make an appointment on time for special reasons, you will apologize to your friends and ask for forgiveness.

Germans prefer a quiet life and don’t like to be noisy except on special occasions. For example, although many people work in the city, they set up their homes in the countryside or small towns near the city for the sake of peace and quiet. Even those who live in the city pay great attention to the noise-free surroundings of their homes. For example, you are not allowed to play musical instruments or make loud noises from 8 pm to 8 am the next morning. If you want to hold a party at night, explain the situation to your neighbors in advance and ask for their understanding. Try to arrange it on the weekend and make as little noise as possible. Otherwise, the disturbed neighbors will be very angry and may protest in person, and some may even ask the police to intervene.

*Be sincere and pay attention to etiquette*

Generally speaking, there is not much trouble in dealing with Germans. In most cases, they are relatively straightforward. Whatever they can do, they will immediately tell you "it can be done". If they can't do it, they will tell you "no" clearly, rarely putting on airs, or giving ambiguous answers.

Of course, interpersonal relationships and the level of effort are by no means unimpacted.

Similar to many Western countries, Germans pay more attention to etiquette. When two people meet, whether they know each other or not, or on the road, or in offices, hotels, elevators, etc., they all greet each other and say "hello". When eating in a restaurant, you should also nod and greet the customers who are already seated. It is really "gentle to polite, and it is not strange to be polite to many people." When friends meet, they shake hands as a courtesy, and the same is true when saying goodbye. Very good friends who have not seen each other for a long time can hug each other when they meet or are separated for a long time. In formal occasions, men still kiss women's hands as a gesture, but they do not have to kiss the back of the hand. In the process of communication, most people often use "you" and "Mr." or "Ms." (also called "Mrs.") before their last name as honorifics. Only friends, relatives and young people call each other "you" and by their first names. Women can be called "Ms." regardless of whether they are married or how old they are, but married women should be called by their husband's surname.

Gift giving is also very important in Germany. When you are invited to someone's home, you usually bring gifts. Most people bring bouquets of flowers, some male guests bring bottles of wine, and some bring a meaningful book (or a book written by themselves) or a picture album, etc. Also send more flowers when welcoming guests (such as stations, airports, etc.) and visiting patients. When congratulating others on their birthdays, festivals, or weddings, you can send greeting cards. If you send congratulatory gifts, the principle is to be practical and meaningful, rather than based on price. All gifts must be wrapped in gift paper in advance. Many people often open and view the gifts immediately after receiving them and express their gratitude to the gift-giver.

In Germany and other Western countries, women are given priority in many situations, such as entering the door, entering the elevator, getting on the bus, etc. Women are given priority. Men should help women open car doors, hang clothes, and give up seats. A woman can just say "thank you" to this without feeling embarrassed or thinking that the other person has bad intentions. When talking to others, Germans pay great attention to respecting each other. Don't ask about other people's private matters (for example, don't ask about a woman's age, don't ask about the other person's income, etc.), and don't make fun of those present. When dining and talking, do not talk to people sitting far away across the table for fear of affecting other people's emotions.

German customs and taboos

Among all flowers, the Germans respect the cornflower the most and select it as the national flower. In Germany, it is not advisable to give people random roses or roses. The former expresses courtship, while the latter is reserved for mourning.

The white stork is Germany’s national bird.

Germans prefer black and gray.

Germans hate “13th” and “Friday” extremely. They are also disgusted with four people shaking hands or having cross conversations in social situations. Because these two practices are considered impolite by them.

The Germans believe that meeting a chimney sweep on the road heralds good luck for the day.

In Germany, all shops are closed on Sundays. Shopping on this day is naturally hard to gain.

When giving gifts to Germans, it is not advisable to choose knives, swords, scissors, table knives and table forks. Wrapping and tying gifts with brown, white or black wrapping paper and ribbons is also not allowed.

When talking with Germans, it is not appropriate to talk about Nazis, religion and partisanship. Germans consider whispering in public places to be very rude.