Divorced woman's self-report: Being strong makes me take root in America.

From 65438 to 0985, Wan'er, a girl from Taishan, Guangdong Province, went to the United States to marry her brother's old classmate. Seven years later, she divorced because her husband was having an affair. In a foreign country, she won a happy marriage again with her perseverance and indomitable spirit.

An unspeakable feeling grows quietly in our hearts.

1963, I was born in Taishan rural area, the youngest child in my family, with two brothers and a sister on it. Although my home is in the countryside, because my father made a living in Hong Kong, my material life as a child was better than that of other rural children. I can still finish high school when some rural girls drop out of school after finishing primary school or have never studied at all. At that time, the countryside was seriously patriarchal. There were only a few female students in my middle school, and it was at this time that Chen Zegang came into my life.

Chen Zegang is three years older than me and is my brother's classmate. His uncle went to San Francisco in his early years. Shortly after I went to middle school, Chen Zegang, who lives in a neighboring village, came to see my brother and learned that I was studying in the same school. Maybe there were few girls who could go to middle school at that time, or maybe knowledge made me have some temperament different from other rural girls, and he began to like being close to me. Go to school, after school, catch fish, dig the bird's nest ... He and my brother are often together, of course he will invite me. Sometimes when he sees beautiful flowers on the roadside, he will pick them and give them to me, saying that they are not as beautiful as me. ...

Which girl doesn't like being spoiled? Gradually, an unspeakable feeling grows quietly in our hearts.

I said goodbye to my parents, brothers and sisters in tears and flew to a completely strange place on the other side of the ocean to start a new life with my lover.

Just as we are enjoying the feeling of having nothing, one thing makes our relationship clear.

On that day, we still went home from school together. He was preoccupied all the way and lost his usual activity. This dreary atmosphere continued to my neighbor. Looking at his awkward appearance several times, I finally couldn't help asking him. He stopped to look at me for a while and suddenly pulled me to the mountain behind the village and said, "Do you like me?" When I watched him say this sentence with a red face, I was shocked and at a loss. He immediately told me that his uncle in the United States had been helping their family with immigration procedures, and he was recently approved. As a child under 2 1 year-old, I am going to America with my parents.

"America?" I have no idea about a country so far away, and I don't know how to answer him. He told me firmly that if I liked him, he would come back and marry me. Get married? I was shocked again, and felt that moment was far away from me, far away … but I nodded.

He took my letter to the other side of the ocean, and since then, letters from America have been floating to my home.

After finishing high school, I found a relatively easy job in Taicheng without going to college. Three years later, he came back as scheduled and proposed to my house with a gift. Our parents agreed to our marriage. When he came back for the second time, I said goodbye to my parents, brothers and sisters in tears and flew to a completely strange place on the other side of the ocean to start a new life with my lover.

In just three years, I have integrated into the local life faster than Chen Zegang in the United States in previous years.

In Chinatown in San Francisco, USA, we held a simple wedding. When I came into contact with this strange place, I was horrified to find that I couldn't understand or read English, so I had to stay in Chinatown, and my activities were extremely narrow. When I told Chen Zegang my doubts, he laughed at me and said that many Chinese in Chinatown had lived like this. His aunt has lived here for most of her life and rarely leaves Chinatown.

Young, unwilling to limit my knowledge of foreign countries to Chinatown, I signed up for a local English popularization class, starting with the most basic ABC. The English popularization class is aimed at new immigrants, mainly to make them understand basic daily conversations. Attending classes on time every day and communicating with teachers boldly have greatly improved my language ability. Later, Chen Zegang helped me find a job in a restaurant.

My job in a restaurant is to collect money. Compared with some immigrants who only wash "big cakes", I am undoubtedly much luckier. In addition to China people, foreigners often patronize restaurants in Chinatown. In order to apply what I have learned, I volunteered to be a waiter and try to communicate with foreigners. It is often said that women have a gift for languages, which may be true. In less than half a year, I became an English speaker in a restaurant.

I am pregnant at this time and can't be a waitress. I asked my sister to send me many books and tapes to learn English from China, and seized every opportunity to learn English. Even my husband and in-laws say I'm possessed. A year later, when I left my mother-in-law to take care of my children who were a few months old and came out to work again, the boss handed me the business of restaurant purchasing, and contacted all the links related to opening restaurants and purchasing outside Chinatown, which gave me more opportunities to know foreigners. In just three years, I have integrated into the local life faster than Chen Zegang in the United States in previous years.

A woman came to me and said, "I have a child, too, for almost two months, belonging to Chen Zegang."

Just when I thought everything was on the right track, Chen Zegang got into the bad habit of gambling, and debt collectors kept coming to me. Under my questioning, Chen Zegang revealed the reason.

"When I first came to the United States, I was lonely, had no friends, didn't understand the language, and was very tired at work every day. Later, I played with my workmates several times in my spare time ... "Chen Zegang said that he unconsciously got into the bad habit of gambling. His family suggested that he marry me as soon as possible, hoping that he would have spiritual sustenance after marriage. Sure enough, after marriage, Chen Zegang gradually moved away from gambling. With my pregnancy and hard study of English, Chen Zegang, who felt left out, returned to the gambling table. ...

It turned out that he gambled partly because of my responsibility, so I forgave him and we borrowed from the east and the west. I even advanced half a year's labor to my boss to let Chen Zegang pay off his gambling debts, hoping that he can live a good life in the future.

Then, we lived a quiet and happy life for a while. When giving birth to a second child, Chen Zegang often goes out early and returns late. He said that he would work hard to give more protection to the soon-to-be-born children. I am very happy to hear the news.

One evening, before Chen Zegang came home, I was playing in front of the house with my son. A woman of about 30 years old, of medium build and very white skin came up to me and asked, "Is Chen Zegang there?"

"No, what can I do for you?"

"You are his wife, right? Oh, it's been seven or eight months? "

"Yes, what can I do for you?" I looked at the woman warily and guessed her purpose.

"I also have children, almost two months, Chen Zegang's."

Chen Zegang's child? I subconsciously looked at my stomach, and then looked at her, and my mind was blank. When did you get along with her? I'm a little devastated.

"Six months ago, I worked with him. He was kind to me and helped me. I also hope to have someone to rely on. I know he has a wife and doesn't want to destroy his family, but I have a child and I want to be born. " I've been staring at her. I want to see something in her eyes. I want to know if what she said is true or not. She met my eyes and looked at me calmly. We didn't talk. My son asked me strangely, "Mommy, why do you look at people like this?" "I'm tired. Go ahead. I'll ask him when he comes back." I gave her an eviction order. I don't like an intruder entering my territory so calmly.

After seeing her off, I settled my son and buried him on the sofa. I tried to clear my mind, but I couldn't think of anything. I didn't even notice that Chen Zegang came back. "What are you doing sitting here? Go back to your room and rest. " I looked in the direction of the voice, and Chen Zegang's face became blurred. I pushed him away: "A woman came to see you just now. She has a child. " Chen Zegang grabbed my hand and said, "Listen to me …" His eager tone made me hate. I shook it hard, but I couldn't get rid of it. The pent-up anger finally gushed out: "I tried my best to help you pay your debts, give birth to your children, wash your clothes and cook for you, but you went to find a woman!" " I was far away from the stressful life in my hometown, and I had nowhere to complain about my husband's cheating and betrayal, as well as loneliness in a strange place ... that night was probably the most hysterical night in my life.

From that day on, we started the cold war. A month later, my second son was born when I was confined. Chen Zegang was very competent, coaxing the child, changing diapers and watching him busy. Alas, people are not saints. Who can have no shortcomings? Just when my attitude softened, the woman appeared in front of me again. She praised my child for being cute and said that her child would be as cute as mine in the future. She also said: "I will not give up on me and his children." Oh, so she's here to provoke. It pains me to think that Chen Zegang will be as busy as a bee for his other child in a few months. I made Chen Zegang promise not to associate with that woman again. Chen Zegang said that they all work together, but they don't look up at each other. Besides, he is also the father of the child. Hearing this, I was completely desperate. Yes, how to break the blood relationship? I want to share my husband with other women in the future. Can I do that?

In the seventh year after marriage, Chen Zegang and I divorced, and both my sons followed me.

After many years of divorce, I re-entered the marriage and had another son.

It is not easy for a single woman to live with two sons. She has to take care of the children and earn money. Fortunately, there are two elderly in-laws to help me with my children. They said that all the people who wronged me were their own sons, let alone their grandchildren. Although my husband is sorry for me, I am lucky to have such parents-in-law.

After the divorce, I still work in a restaurant. Because of my excellent work, I became the boss's right-hand man. 1995 one day, the boss told me that his daughter gave birth to a baby in Toronto, Canada, and her daughter also opened a restaurant there. She wants their help. He wants to transfer the restaurant to me. I can pay 20% down payment and the rest monthly. He asked me to think about it.

After thinking about it, I still want to give up, because I have two children to be responsible for and my energy is limited. I told the boss about this idea. When I went to work the next day, my boss introduced me to someone and said, "This is Lin from Hong Kong. I have found a companion for you." It turns out that Lin 1994 immigrated to the United States and always wanted to do some business. This time, he is also optimistic about this restaurant, but he is not familiar with the operation. The boss wants us to cooperate. After initial contact, Lin and I decided to take over the restaurant. Lin injected funds, and I was responsible for the operation of the whole restaurant, making some changes in the dishes and management. Business has been doing well.

Through constant understanding and cooperation, I have developed feelings with Lin chan. He loves my two sons very much. 1997, divorced for many years, re-entered the marriage and had another son. After a failure, I cherish my present marriage more. Two years ago, Lin returned to Hong Kong to open a trading company, and often ran between Hong Kong and the United States. Every summer, I take my three children to Hong Kong for a holiday. Over the years, when I saw Lin and his two sons get along well, I was glad that I finally found a good man this time.