Chenghai recruitment cooking private house

How to get along with your mother-in-law? [excerpt]

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult and easy to get along with. People get along with each other, whether they get together for an hour, a day, or a lifetime, it is the cause of previous lives. If there is no fate, they will not meet. The Buddha didn't say that "five hundred times in previous lives, we can pass by in this life", because there is no conflict of interest between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and they both look on the bright side when they enter a family.

Women want to have a happy family, care about their husbands, and have a harmonious relationship with their mother-in-law. In fact, our daily practice is not difficult: chanting Buddha, chanting scriptures and releasing people. What is rare is to unlock our demons, but to persist. That is to say, in Buddhism, "I hold"-the satisfaction of self-desire. Ordinary people hope that others can listen to themselves, accommodate themselves and satisfy their desires. Anyone who thinks too much for himself and too little for others will have many demands and dissatisfaction with others, and others can't always meet their own demands, so they are easy to quarrel when they get along; People who think less about themselves and more about others will be calm, tolerant and understanding, and contradictions will be quickly resolved, thus forming a harmonious family atmosphere.

One thing must be known: the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the main factor that indirectly affects the harmony between husband and wife: in the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, he plays the dual role of both son and husband, and it is the most difficult to be a man. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, and there will definitely be some estrangement between husband and wife, and some regrets. Even if the fault lies with her mother-in-law, as a daughter-in-law, she is generous and can get along well with her mother-in-law, and her husband is deeply grateful and more loving to his wife. Therefore, dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is another secret weapon to capture your man.

In fact, the harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law mainly lies in what the daughter-in-law does. Because after all, young people should respect their elders, and they are more flexible and richer economically, so they should be in a more active position in the communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

For the mother-in-law, the son is born and raised by himself. Since childhood, mothers have paid too much for their children, and the greater the contribution, the deeper the love. After a thunderstorm, the mother can still sleep peacefully, but the gentle crying of the baby around her can wake her up immediately. The love between mother and child is the nature of human beings (and all animals). The fortunes of a son and a daughter-in-law are linked, and the mother-in-law also loves her daughter-in-law from the perspective of loving her son. But the daughter-in-law is not born by herself, lacking a primitive nature between mother and child. Man is a rational creature. A couplet written by a man in Chenghai, Guangdong Province is well written: all women love it and all daughters-in-law hate it. May men and women in the world love their daughters and daughters-in-law; Wives are easy to obey, but parents are easy to rebel. Wang Ercao's man should be obedient to his wife.

For the daughter-in-law, she and her husband are in full swing, and the old woman has worked hard all her life and is old. They are elders, the previous generation. They only have today, so they should be more tolerant and understanding. In fact, this is a kind of love for her husband.

If the mother-in-law can think of "this is my son, but at the same time it is someone else's husband and father" and the daughter-in-law thinks of "although it is my husband, it is also the son of the mother-in-law and the subordinate of the leader", the contradiction will be reduced a lot, and the son can play the role of son and husband more happily. There is a word called "willing", which means that when we attach too much importance to it and want it too much, we can't get it. When we let go, we can give up ourselves to achieve others, only to find that our original wish has also come true. We have real dignity, because we can let go and look down on the gains and losses, because such cultivation will be admired and respected by others. No matter whether we are mother-in-law or daughter-in-law, we can all be liberated from our own position and think from each other's position. In fact, we will get more, so there is naturally no reason for the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

For a husband, never act as a' referee' between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. There are contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so we can only try to guide communication.

In short, family problems and the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can only be properly solved through mutual empathy, mutual tolerance, mutual understanding, mutual accommodation and mutual tolerance.

A son should be good at doing the ideological work of his parents, which is also advocated by Goodall. For example, parents who have just come to the city from the countryside will pay special attention to the faces of their sons and daughters-in-law. Sometimes when you see a child's face is not good, you think it is aimed at them. After I found this problem, I specifically told my wife to pay attention to it. Then when my parents were very happy, I said to them, "We work outside, and everything will happen to everyone, or we will be criticized by our leaders, misunderstood by our colleagues, or our work is not smooth, and so on." It won't be smooth sailing anyway. We are like actors, playing different roles in our lives. At work, we will put on our clothes, cheer up and show our work well. Even if you are wronged, you often have to bear it silently. When I come home from work, I really want to take off my clothes, stop hiding, and pour all the grievances I have suffered outside into the harbor to seek a little spiritual sustenance and psychological balance. Therefore, when we leave home with a smile, but return home with a calm face, it is definitely not easy to be outside, and it is by no means aimed at you. Therefore, you don't have to worry about anything, let alone mind. As long as we vent and adjust our emotions, our mentality will naturally return to calm! " Since this conversation, our parents no longer care about our faces. Even if they see that we look pale, they will comfort us and say a few words of comfort, because they understand that the outside must be bad and not caused by them!

Family and society are the same, and they are both abbreviations of a big word "person". The structure of the word "person" is a balance that needs "mutual support". Therefore, I want to remind all the "sons" in the world that while being filial to their parents, they must remember to give their parents-in-law the same filial piety. This is not only a man's duty, but also an explanation to his wife. Imagine, if you can't really be filial to your wife's parents, can you expect your wife to be truly filial to your in-laws? These simple and obvious truths should be understood and put into action by everyone. In this way, even the most difficult relationship will be handled well! Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law understand each other, talk less and think more about Buddhism. Oral career can make people go to hell and suffer from reincarnation forever in the six divisions of the wheel of karma. Buddhist chanting can make you live happily in the west, never come out of reincarnation and never suffer from reincarnation again. Amitabha!

Excerpt from the third set of required reading for pure land practice