Talk about sentences with your boyfriend.

Sooner or later, there is no chance to break up.

In this world, the most difficult thing to give up is the love between men and women, and the most difficult thing to let go is the desire for love. Modern Tibetan Buddhism Dade Gendun Qunpei said:

"Of all the colors, the most beautiful color for men is women. For women, the most beautiful color is men. Besides, there is nothing more beautiful. Of all the voices, the most beautiful is the voice of a woman in a man's ear, and the most beautiful is the voice of a man in a woman's ear. Besides, there is nothing more beautiful. There is no man who doesn't like women, and there is no woman who doesn't like men. Even if it looks like it, in fact, everyone loves it. "

Love is so inseparable from everyone's emotional life, but we are often addicted to love, but we don't know what true love is. Buddhism does not oppose love, but emphasizes learning to really love. True love is not selfish, narrow-minded or ignorant. True love is dedication, tolerance, warmth and wisdom. With true love, marriage will be happy, family will be harmonious and life will be happy. If everyone knows the true meaning of love, opens his heart and releases the energy of true love, then every day will become Valentine's Day, 365 days a year.

However, in real life, many people suffer from love. How to get rid of the pain of love? We must understand where the pain of love comes from before we can end it.

In real life, where there is love, there is pain and entanglement, and where there is love, there are too many puzzles that cannot be let go. Where does the pain of love come from? The pain of love comes from three factors: the object we love, our heart and happiness in love. These three factors are illusory and reversed, which leads to the pain of love. Why do you say that?

First of all, when we are in love, we feel that our lover is the most perfect, which is a wrong understanding in itself. From the perspective of the world, the object of our love is the flesh and blood body produced by the combination of the five elements (color, reception, thinking, behavior and knowledge), and both body and mind are the products of ignorance. The human body is full of thirty-six kinds of impurities, and it is a moving trash can. It needs a bath to clean the dirt generated by the body, and perfume to cover up the odor generated by the body.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is because when men and women first met, they all dressed up before seeing each other. If we like a woman, do we like her beautiful clothes, exquisite makeup and strong perfume, or do we like herself? If we like her face to face, and she dies and becomes a cold corpse, we should also like her, but in fact, at that time we only had fear and disgust in our hearts.

The object we love is not only imperfect in body, but also imperfect in mind. His heart is full of worldly desires, greed, ignorance and troubles. He is a member of all beings, and he has been wandering in reincarnation. Those bad habits that we don't want to see are all planted from the beginning. Rome was not built in a day, so it is difficult to change. So no matter how perfect he feels when he is in love, with the passage of time, all his bad habits will be gradually exposed, just like paper can't wrap fire. At the same time, we are the same in each other's eyes After the initial novelty fades, the shortcomings of both sides will become more and more prominent: smoking, drinking, bad temper, laziness, failure and so on. Of course the other party can't stand it. At this time, there may be only two words hovering in my mind: "Break up".

Practically speaking, the perfect object we love is just an illusion, which transcends binary opposition in essence, and there is no perfection or imperfection, just as Heart Sutra said: "Color is empty, and emptiness is color".

Second, our love for each other is ignorant, selfish and greedy, so the more we love each other, the more selfish we are and the more we hurt each other.

Our hearts are full of desire, selfishness, greed and persistence, among which ignorance and desire are the main "pushing hands" that make us fall in love. It is difficult for our ignorant hearts to see each other's truth, and the habit of desire is terrible. Driven by desire, there is a strong attraction between men and women.

For example, it's like a piece of spoiled meat, with a lot of spices to cover up its smell, and then after various processing, it becomes attractive and fragrant. If you have a desire to eat meat and can't recognize the rot inside, you will be full of desire for this meat and can't wait to eat it at once. As for its rottenness, you will understand it only when you eat it in your mouth or even in your stomach and cause vomiting and diarrhea.

"You Love Me" and "I Love You" The "love" of men and women in this world is created by ignorance, selfishness and desire. Sometimes we think we are kind to others, but there are many hypocritical and selfish elements in it. We love each other when they can satisfy their own desires; Once there is a little dissatisfaction and disappointment, we will immediately get agitated and even regret: "Why did I choose him in the first place!" " "So I can't help but pursue a new relationship, so that my desire can be satisfied. However, people's desires are endless, and one desire will trigger another desire, which will never be satisfied. We often see how many wives a husband has, or how many husbands a woman has, but they are still unhappy.

The stronger the love in the world, the greater the hatred that follows. As Socrates said, "The warmest love will have the coldest ending." When we love someone very much, we will spend all our money, all our efforts and all our energy on him. Once he leaves, we will hate him more than anyone else. Because love is too deep, the hatred caused by love is also particularly terrible. For example, we don't feel bad when we see ordinary men and women together, but if we see a woman or man we like with the opposite sex, even if it is normal communication, we will feel uncomfortable in our hearts. The deeper we love each other, the more we want to monopolize each other, hoping that she/he will never see the opposite sex again. Many lovers are like this. They once loved each other deeply and never left each other. Once things go wrong, they become enemies. Love in the world is like a seesaw. Carelessness can lead to conflicts: from family conflicts to wars between countries. In ancient times, there were many stories of "rushing to the crown and being angry as a beauty", which were not purely fabricated. Many real killings and even wars are caused by love and hate between men and women.

Third, the happiness we feel in love is not real, but its essence is actually pain.

People often regard love as the greatest happiness. The Buddha told us that "all leaks are bitter", which means that such happiness is not real and eternal. The more you pursue it, the more it will lead to pain, because its essence is pain. In Buddhism, this kind of pain is called "bitterness", which is imperceptible to ordinary people. A saint can feel such pain very clearly, as sensitive as a hair entering an eye. This is "taking bitterness as bitterness". Ordinary people, because of ignorance, can't feel this kind of pain, just like putting a hair on their hands. Not only do we not feel pain, but we regard the love between men and women as real happiness, which is one of the "four opposites". The most terrible thing is that when we stubbornly pursue this false happiness, we will unconsciously develop our desires to the limit, creating many incredible bad karma and causing endless pain.

Although the essence of love is bitter, it is also a kind of warmth of life if it can be accompanied for a long time after marriage until death. How can we get a happy and stable marriage?

When choosing a partner, young men and women had better think carefully, get along with each other and observe for three, five or even ten years before deciding whether to get married. We must consider whether the two sides understand each other and have common interests. After such a careful choice, the future marriage stability will be more secure.

A happy marriage requires both husband and wife to constantly improve their self-cultivation and have life wisdom. Two people together, proper limit is very important, can't do whatever you want. If there are no rules and no bottom line, it will definitely lead to discord. Sometimes, one party in a marriage is very responsible and tolerant, which leads to the other party being too indulgent and forming bad habits. In the long run, the responsible party will definitely not be able to persist. Therefore, two people should have self-knowledge, learn to think from each other's perspective, trust, tolerate and care about each other.

The people we love are like traveling companions. Although we all go together, no one knows when our fellow travelers will arrive or leave. In this short and impermanent gathering, we must cherish and get along well, and don't quarrel or have conflicts over trivial matters, otherwise once we leave, we will regret it very much: why didn't we treat him well when we got along? Why don't you tolerate her?

The best way to love and husband and wife is to know how to cherish and not be too greedy. Just like "a friend of a gentleman is as light as water", a long stream of water and plain is true love.

If the marriage is very unhappy, you can live alone with each other for a period of time, calmly think about who is right and who is wrong, who loves who does not love, and never live a life that is worse than death, which will create a lot of bad karma. If the divorce is irreversible, you must have a clear conscience and know that you really tried your best. already

Since the happiness of love is short-lived, illusory and unreliable, where is the real happiness? If you want to get real happiness, you must pursue the goal consistent with real happiness.

Let's make an analogy. When we think that the snow-capped mountains are white, our understanding of the snow-capped mountains is consistent with their essence. Then, the pursuit of white with the snow-capped mountains as the goal will definitely have results and will definitely get what we want. When we think that the rainbow in the sky is real, our understanding of the rainbow is inconsistent with the essence of the rainbow, because the rainbow in the sky is not real, and we regard it as a real thing.

Love in the world is like pursuing a rainbow in the sky. No matter how hard we pursue it, we can't achieve our goal. There is a kind of love that reaches the peak of true love, selfless and intelligent, clean and complete. This is the love of Buddha and Bodhisattva for all beings.

When the Buddha was on the land, in order to change a sentient being, he was willing to have his eyes cut off, his wife and children taken away, and even his head cut off without any regrets. Once upon a time, in Tibet, in order to humanize all beings, dakini would become prostitutes. All the men she met in her life were finally free. Buddha and Dakungfu mother can do this because they are beautiful, pure and complete in essence, and their bodies, languages, thoughts and so on are all products of wisdom. Such love must have a happy ending.

Although the "love" between ordinary people and the "love" of Buddha and Bodhisattva to all beings are the same word, they are completely different in essence. Due to the egoism and selfishness of ordinary people, the greater the love in the world, the greater the accompanying hatred; Because Buddha and Bodhisattva have no self, the greater the love in Buddhism, the greater the wisdom.

When we pursue the merits of Buddha and Bodhisattva, we pursue the happiness of liberation, just like the pursuit of white with snow-capped mountains as the goal. No matter winter or summer, no matter far or near, the snow-capped mountains are crystal white. In other words, the goal we pursue is the same as the fact: we think that Buddha and Bodhisattva are beautiful and pure, and Buddha and Bodhisattva are indeed beautiful and pure; We believe that buddhas and bodhisattvas have boundless merits, and buddhas and bodhisattvas do have infinite merits; We believe that liberation is happy, and liberation is indeed happy. Maybe when we first started studying Buddhism, we only had a little confidence in Buddha and Bodhisattva, but after a period of practice, we will find that Buddha and Bodhisattva are so great that we only knew skins at first. If people know how to drink water, the merits of Buddha and Bodhisattva are enough, so the more they pursue, the happier they will be.