On Taozi's Wandering Prose

In March, peach blossoms in Beijing are in full bloom, red and pink. Although it was brilliant, it was also very casual. In April, peach blossoms are in full bloom in the mountains, which is what D told me. He said that this is a real peach blossom, which is different from the peach blossom in the street. D Peach blossoms all over the mountains are called "Peach Blossom Sea". I know that in April, those distant peach trees will sway, and hundreds of millions of peach blossoms will bloom vigorously, layer by layer, full of eyes. A gust of wind blew, and the peach tree shook, and the peach tree shook, and so did its eyes. Blink your eyes, pink petals will float out of your pupils, and a strong fragrance of flowers will float out.

I know that the Peach Blossom Sea is just some kind of boring beauty for D, and it is the same year after year. I teased him and said, I'm going to your house to break a lot of peach blossoms, which means I'm full of peach blossoms this year. D said, anyway, you can't fold it, not to mention you have to fold it a little. If every peach blossom bears fruit, although there are many fruits, the quality will be poor. It seems that the nutrition of every peach tree is limited, and the greedy fruit is not beautiful. Regarding peach trees, peach blossoms and peach fruits, D should be considered as half an expert. Their home is in Pinggu District, Beijing, and their parents have a field in the country and planted a large peach forest. D repeatedly said that when April comes, we will go to the mountains to see the Peach Blossom Sea.

Before and after Tomb-Sweeping Day, the wind blew a few times and it rained several times. Looking out of the window, clusters of blue grass tips were drilled in the field, and sometimes a group of sheep were driven to eat grass, like clouds falling to the ground. Soon, the room smelled of mutton. I asked D if Tomb-Sweeping Day would go back to Pinggu to visit his ancestors' graves. He said he wouldn't go back. D is not a homesick person. He has only been home a few times in the past year. Although he is only across a county, he always goes home tirelessly. Every holiday, there will be traffic jams in expressway. On the other hand, getting on the bus outside the city is also a technical problem. I just miss the Peach Blossom Sea described by D. The second week after Qingming, I asked D if he would go home. D said he didn't want to go back, because there were too many tourists going to Pinggu to see peach blossoms and the road was blocked. Hearing this, I also feel a little clear and tasteless. After all, Shan Ye's peach blossoms are no match for hordes.

2

A year later, D finally couldn't stand the boring life in the dormitory and went out to rent a house. Sharing a room with others, 700 yuan's monthly rent is not expensive, but for him, the monthly salary of 3,000 yuan is still a bit stretched. Occasionally, there are some red and white things in the unit, and money is inevitable. These expenses are usually out of the budget and come suddenly. However, the contact above made us particularly embarrassed. One is that the salary is not much, and the other is that I don't plan to work here. D has some very secret ideas. He doesn't want people to know that he rented a house outside. He told me not to tell anyone. He set up a student bus card on the Internet. Every time a colleague leaves the yard by car, he walks to the bus stop alone. It takes 20 minutes to walk quickly from my work to the 924 station. D said it would take him 15 minutes. When he is alone, his steps are fast.

Not long ago, Sister L in the department wanted to introduce someone to D. Unexpectedly, D refused and even resisted. Sister l said that the girl's family is well-off, but she is slightly fat. Success or failure depends on fate, so she should make friends with the opposite sex. D is adamant and doesn't want to date. Sister l probably patted her chest and promised others, and things suddenly became a bit embarrassing. Sister l vaguely felt that d probably had a girlfriend, so she was so determined and secretly asked me.

Soon, the news that D didn't go to work spread like wildfire, and many colleagues asked me if he had found a girlfriend. I laughed without a word. In fact, D and I are both older unmarried young men at work. There are many secondary school students in our unit, especially the girls in the nurse station. Most of them get married early, get pregnant early and give birth to their children in the blink of an eye. Their speed is like a train whizzing past their eyes, rolling up dust and flying, which is very embarrassing. It seems that everyone is striding forward.

I think D likes a girl in our unit, who is a physician, two years older than him, cheerful and careless, and has already met someone. I hinted at encouraging D with that girl, but it seems that both of them know it well and are still playing dumb. Sometimes relationships break up, but it's not good. In a place as big as the yard, girls are like fruits, green and red. I know whether I pick it or not, the fruit will fall to the ground. From time to time, we receive wedding candy and double happiness cigarettes, which indicates that another girl is getting married.

D and I said, why not promise Sister L to meet the girl? D is silent. Do you mind that this girl is a little fat? I believe everyone likes beautiful things and looks. But I have to say that D looks tall, strong and black. It can be easily connected with the land and has all the simple features. Later, D told me in a low voice that he was just a rural guy with no money and was not worthy of others.

three

Regarding money, when recruiting last year, Dean and D said that the salary of the hospital was paid according to the average salary of employees in Beijing institutions, which was six or nine thousand yuan a year. Sixty-nine thousand is a magical number with a long history. Recruitment is mentioned every year, but I still don't know how to get the statistics. But I know very well that 69000 is just an imaginary number, which is actually much less than this.

D has been nagging for a year, complaining that his salary is too low, but I can't quell his dissatisfaction. Even so, D insisted on going out to rent a house. It is conceivable that he hates hospital life. But one advantage of doing so is to avoid the wine bureau when the dean is on duty. I drank a lot of fake wine to exchange feelings this year. D is extremely afraid of white wine.

Dean's wine seems to be highly toxic, and everyone dare not avoid it. When on duty at night, the dean likes to greet the tenants, ask for three or five side dishes and drink a little wine. Every time I say hello to the dean, I see that everyone's face is sad. After three rounds of wine, smoky, a pot of good tea, plus some small talk, it is often the scene after midnight. I can't avoid this kind of wine, and so can old D. After working for a year, I talk less, but I can drink well.

There is an episode about d and wine. I remember when he first came to work, he used to drink heroically on the wine table in America, and the dean was indecisive in secret. But on the second day of drinking, D saw the salary slip and wrote 2700 yuan impressively. It was this payroll that messed up the wine business. The salary of Z, a secondary school student who came to the hospital in the same batch, was even higher than 100 yuan because of his different positions. D and Z are fellow villagers, but in this case, Z deeply hurt D's heart.

D's face is as black as iron, with grief and indignation. After work at five o'clock, he hid in the dormitory and fell asleep. It's getting dark, it seems that the whole yard has collapsed, and D seems to have died in bed. Dean asked me where D went and asked me to invite him down for a drink. D is here, moping and drinking all the time. I was in a bad mood when I saw D. He seemed to want to drink too much. I winked at him frequently, but he hesitated several times. D still drank too much and began to lose control of his mouth. He began to question that four years in college was a waste of time.

When D finally shouted that the world was unfair, I lost control and smoked two cigarettes. The smoke was urgent and a violent collision was launched. At that time, in addition to the Dean, D and I, there were three classmates who went to Beijing that year. These are all elites in the yard, all for hukou. But only D made a sound, which made us more and more silent. He began to suffocate as if he had failed all his life. I always feel that Z easily broke through his psychological defense.

The dean finally got angry. He stood up and said coldly, this policy is so unfair in the world. Why can't we see long-term development? What does Z compare with you?

four

In fact, in my opinion, D always bears the mark of Taolin. This may also be what D is trying to get rid of. I still remember that when D came to the hospital, he moved boxes of peaches and distributed them to every department and even the dormitory. Every fruit seems to be carefully selected, full, bright and juicy. I believe these peaches will be very expensive if they are shipped to the market. I washed the peach and handed it to D, but he didn't eat it. He said that he seldom eats peaches grown at home. I thought it was a fateful choice between him and peach. Sure enough, boxes of peaches slowly bottomed out, and some even festered, but D didn't eat any of them. He seems to really dislike peaches.

After D came to the company, the company's machines began to be damaged frequently, sometimes it was just an operation problem, and colleagues also asked him to have a look. He became a mechanic in the unit, taking care of computers, printers and photocopiers every day. The problem of the machine became his problem, and some even blamed it on him. Some machines get angry and are much more stubborn than humans. Before he came, these machines never seemed to break down. At least everyone has the ability to live in peace with them. I don't know whether the machine is bothering him or he is annoying the machine. In a word, his appearance made all the machines rebel. Whenever D wants to solve these thorny problems independently, I always tell him that there is no need to worry about solving the problems, because the problems can never be completely solved, and people in the hospital will have problems over time.

I think d is also a problem. University D is a computer major and likes digital products on weekdays. He pays attention to the new mobile phone, performance, configuration, price and so on. He also pays attention to the new systems and applications of computers, which I know nothing about. Not only that, D is extremely sensitive to "wealth". Jobs, Ma Yun, Wang Sicong, the rich second generation, the official second generation and the housing second generation are all words he often talks about. I often advise D not to use money to measure the value of life, and he turns his nose up at me. Over time, D's life is full of worship of material desires, and desires are stuck in his heart like weeds. I saw D's trembling in time.

D has some minor problems, such as shaking your legs. I thought shaking my legs was a sign of anxiety. He always shakes his legs crazily and violently, and even he sits there, making a panting sound. He seems to be taking part in the 100-meter race, and there are countless virtual enemies in front of him. I looked up at D, puzzled and helpless, and asked him what he was doing. He gradually stopped. From then on, my eyes are like a wall, constantly blocking the way for D to run forward. D work and leisure, just look at the NBA live broadcast, or online jokes. He laughs deeply and sometimes shares it with me. I kept smiling, not talking, and continued to look down at my book.

Besides, D will tremble during a nap. He sleeps in my lower berth, with headphones tied to his head and a wire connected to his mobile phone. He stayed up all noon, shivering with laughter. The bed is in a trance and crumbling. I lie on the upper bunk, just like swinging, and I can't sleep. This should be a pleasant swing, but I am on a high place and see the despair of life. I don't know when it will end.

For a while, I began to be afraid of D's laughter. Those unbridled and endless smiles make me fidget. Gradually, those smiles began to become barren, like a sharp knife, cutting open the pocket of time. There are teeth in the gap of life, as if to swallow me up. I am as numb as he is, and I can't breathe in the pocket of time.

five

D and I are roommates, colleagues and competitors. We are inseparable and may fall apart at any time. Our situation is very delicate, maintaining a certain balance and opposing each other. I will tell D any job information at first. Later, I began to be silent. My confrontation with D is not a confrontation between wolves and sheep, nor a confrontation between wolves and wolves, but a confrontation between two weak people. Whoever resigns first will be fully entrusted with the work. I believe that this extra job, like the last straw, is enough to crush each other. D often tells me that the sun will still rise without you in this unit.

I think this is D's provocation to me, which has seriously hurt my self-esteem. Maybe it's true. I overestimated my status. When I am anxious, I will calm down and look at the scenery outside the window. The sheep outside the window came again. They like to huddle together and compete for the most tender grass leaves to eat. Sometimes they are in the east and sometimes in the west. The woman waited quietly with a sheep whip in her hand. The whip in her hand seems to be beating the sheep at any time, as if beating me.

Later, I decided to take the postgraduate entrance examination while working, but my heart was very practical. D has become irrelevant to me, even though he is wasting time, always complaining and full of doubts about the future. The sun rises as usual, and some fields in the distance are yellow and white, forming a vast expanse. At first, I thought it was a wild flower, but later I learned that it was a yellow grass branch, which turned into an ocean, even with a faint white light in the evening. The uncultivated land is slowly becoming barren. It suddenly occurred to me that the summer has just arrived, birds are overhead, and peach trees in the distance are bearing the sweetest fruits, waiting for the harvest season. The last thing D said to me was that I don't want to talk to you anymore. We fell into a long silence, and we should accumulate the power to kill each other in silence.

Before that, D asked me, how do you know I didn't do anything? I seem to see him laughing again, laughing at the stupidity of life, laughing at those hypocritical, arrogant and ignorant humans. We fill the emptiness with emptiness, and the emptiness inside is getting bigger and bigger. D once told me that no matter how hard you work, you are fearless as long as you have money to earn; D also told me that some students are supervisors in the catering industry, with a monthly salary of 5 thousand and free work; I asked him why he didn't go, and D said this kind of job had no future.

It was June in a blink of an eye, and I ate sour cherries. July is not far away, and there will be peach food soon. I always miss the peaches planted by d's family. I seem to see the fruits all over the mountains, a little swollen and a little red, falling heavily on the branches.

D and I ordered peaches this year. I hope this is the last time I eat them in my lifetime. This is my best wish to each other.