25 classic funny jokes that make you cry.

1, grandma said that my dad was running in the field when he was a child, fell into the toilet and almost drowned, and was fished out. Grandma said that when I was a child, I ran in the field, turned into a dung bucket and almost drowned, and was picked out by a bamboo pole. This special birth ........

W: Let me tell you a story. M: All right, go ahead. Woman: Once upon a time, a man died watching TV? M: Sudden death? Are you sick? Woman: No, because he doesn't help his daughter-in-law wash the dishes after dinner. Man:? Damn it, stupid daughter-in-law, go and wash the dishes. . .

3. god:? Go! I am very busy, and I can only grant you one wish. ? I said:? Settle in Diaoyu Island, feed horses, chop wood and travel around the world. God is in trouble: it's a little difficult, change it! ? I said:? I want to be a city manager! ? God is angry: damn it, let's satisfy your last wish! City management, I didn't take the wheel.

4. Do male students have tattoos on their hands? Knife? Words. Bubu wants to know if he has seen the legendary swordsman. One day, I finally couldn't help asking him what the word meant. I saw that he looked sad, as if lost in painful memories. Bubu quickly said it was inconvenient to say, so I stopped asking. I saw him staring into the distance and saying, actually, I want to get a forbearing tattoo? It hurts too much. If I only get the word knife, I can't stand it

Someone was dumped by his girlfriend in love and said to his friend:? No wonder some people say that a woman's heart is the most poisonous in the world. Now I totally think women are poison, and I will stay away from them in the future! ? Before long, the man talked about love again, and it was very warm. His friend asked him: Didn't you say that women are poison? Why are we talking about it again? ? The man replied:? I don't know why, since the last lovelorn, I always want to commit suicide by taking poison.

6. The algebra teacher said to his parents: You are in charge of your son. Look at his algebra problem, 90-45= the second half. ? Parents say:? Going back will definitely teach his son a lesson. There is also a second situation that he ignored, that is, he did not consider overtime. ?

7.a and B go climbing. This is a very famous mountain in our village. Wow, what mountain? A: Mountain. B: Ask you what mountain this is ... A: Mountain. I know how to write "mountain". I'm just asking you what this mountain is called. A: Mountain! A is beaten, and B is kidding? A grievance, pointing to the stone sign, said: What a lion mountain!

8. There is a girl in my community who is in the first grade of primary school and doesn't like studying very much. When the final exam results came out, she had the following conversation. My dad:? Girl, how was the exam? ? , girl? Not so good! ? , my dad? What did you get in the exam? , girl? Mathematics zero, Chinese four? , my dad? Well, not so good. It's a little off. . I'm standing on the side and I'm confused in an instant?

9. When I was walking alone on the road, I vaguely felt something was wrong. There was a chill behind my neck, and my throat seemed to be choked. I was out of breath until a passing passenger shouted and saved me. Hi! Dude. You're wearing your sweater backwards! ?

10，Q？ Someone told me, how can I refuse to minimize the damage? ? A:? I said I'd go home and ask the children for advice. ?

1 1, high school basketball game. A sharpshooter of a class, 10 can score 8 points. But he's ugly enough to scold as long as he doesn't dump a bunch of girls? SB！ Pass the king fork ? As the voice became louder and louder, the sharpshooter had to pass the ball to a boy with a Korean idol face. After three consecutive air strikes, the girls' voices didn't weaken at all? I am almost there. Just one more vote and I'll be elected! ? Learn about the world from now on.

12, I met a depressed thing when I was repairing my computer today! A young man got a computer warranty, and I checked and confirmed that there was something wrong with the CPU! Then I turned on the radiator, and a familiar smell of toothpaste came to my nose! Brother, why do you use toothpaste as heat dissipation silicone? The brother also said, you see, it's all the same. Toothpaste does feel a little cold at ordinary times, and of course it dissipates heat well! Dude, you can do it! You're really great.

13, a couple was shopping. Suddenly, his girlfriend quietly told the boy: Do you see the person in front? . When the boy saw that the man in front was winking at his girlfriend, the fire suddenly rose from his heart and rushed forward to beat the man crazily. The police passed by and saw them, pulled them away and asked what was going on. The man complained: What the hell is this world? The bug flew into the eye and was beaten. ?

15, practice driving in summer vacation. Man: Girl, why don't you go out to play? Jane Doyle: Because I'm learning to drive. Man: Girl, why are you so dark? Jane Doyle: Because I'm learning to drive. Man: Girl, why are you dressed like an aunt? Anonymous: Angry ~ ~ I told you I was learning to drive.

16, the Chinese teacher said that if you love someone, you don't buy water for others after class, don't send messages, and don't go out to sing, chat and eat at weekends, but you are an excellent person. There may be others who love her in the future. All you have to do is compare others. You should be excellent, better than others. Believe that the future is not only unknown, but love can also change reality. I feel weak in an instant.

17 One day, a drunk walked out of Portman Hotel, got into her boyfriend's taxi and said to her boyfriend Portman. I fell asleep. Boyfriend froze, so he woke up the drunk and said, you are in Portman now. After listening, the drunk handed the money to his boyfriend and said, keep the change. Before getting off the bus, he said to the driver with concern: Don't drive too fast in the future, it's dangerous.

18, a male customer was eating in a restaurant. The boss gave him a surprise when he finished eating and asked for the bill. ? 3000 yuan is too expensive! ? He said:? Should I give a discount to my peers? ? The boss said, so you also run a restaurant? ? . He said:? No, I'm robbing money. ?

19, I just bought a can of Chili sauce. Say to the monitor: What do you think this is? The monitor replied, michel platini, I: Hey, my dear son. Monitor:? After a while, the monitor took this Chili sauce to the dormitory next door. Q: What is this? A jun: I don't know. Wow, what's this? Monitor: michel platini. A Jun: Hey, good boy. . .

20. My friend received her phone call again. It is cloudy. My buddy was thinking about the beauty of his first love and hesitated for a long time before answering the phone. Hello ...? I thought she would say something, but there was only silence on the other end of the phone. ? How are you? He asked. Still no answer, he said crazily: Do you know how much I miss you? ? A distant and familiar voice finally came from the other end of the phone: Baby, don't play with mom's mobile phone, okay?

2 1. A cyclist ran a red light and a truck suddenly stopped beside him. The cyclist shouted to the truck driver. Don't kill yourself! ? The truck driver was shocked and couldn't say a word?

22. Girlfriend: What a fool! Your watch was robbed. Why didn't you shout for help? Me: If I open my mouth and call for help, they will find that I still have four gold teeth, which will be even worse.

23. Yesterday, the old man who baked dried eggs at the door accidentally knocked over the stove. I hurried to help pick it up, and a kind sister helped pick it up. Suddenly, a private car came from behind and immediately crushed the hairy eggs on the ground. Big sister shouted, oh, my god! ! ! Uncle's egg, uncle's egg. I only heard a click, and I pressed two balls. The elder sister said, fortunately, the pressure was not great, and I pressed two balls ...? Grandpa is thoughtful and messy in the wind! !

24. This afternoon, the class was caught by the dean because of puppy love, and informed the parents that his father had come. The teacher asked? Are you XXX's brother? ? His father said with a smile? I am his father. ? The teacher said? I can't tell, so young. Just became a father? His father said? Hey! What a big deal! I let him stay with his mother in the third grade. ?

25. A company recruits employees, and hundreds of college students compete to sign up: I am from Peking University. ? I'm from Jiaotong University. ? I'm from Zhejiang University. ? I'm Tsinghua. ? Suddenly a girl shouted:? I have a big wave! ? The chairman said on striking table, it's you. Come to my office and talk. ? As soon as she entered the office, the girl showed the certificate of Ningbo University to the chairman. . . .