Sincerity cannot only rely on frankness and straightforwardness

What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of people do you like to make friends with?

Whenever faced with such a question, sincerity is often the most frequent answer.

Well, sincerity is comfortable and powerful. It can make your words and deeds go straight to the other person's heart and touch people's hearts. We all aspire to be a sincere person. But I am still worried. I express my thoughts frankly, but why do I rarely get sincere comments?

Express yourself candidly and forthrightly, without being false or secretive. This is how most people understand sincerity. But just to do this, sincerity is light and powerless.

At the award ceremony, you can see many actors showing real excitement, smiles and tears, but it is not painful to listen to. Actor Hu Ge's speeches often trigger a lot of emotional forwarding on the Internet.

Although both acceptance speeches reveal true feelings, why does the former seem light and airy, while the latter gets into the hearts of others?

How does sincerity, which has the power to move people’s hearts, come about? Let's study the following examples together:

1. Mobilize your knowledge reserves to think, and stay away from frivolous candor.

"I went to see a doctor for a fever. He talked a lot about my condition, and finally added: "Drink more water these two days to increase metabolism. "The second half of the sentence is very powerful. In the future, I will also add this reason to persuade others to drink more water." ?

I saw this joke online and couldn't help laughing.

Wannian’s girlfriend disliked “drinking more water” because she added a medical term for increasing metabolism, but the effect was actually different. Similarly, in the recruitment process for comics editor positions, a senior comics enthusiast can impress the interviewer more when he explains his understanding and feelings about comics in front of the interviewer than a novice who knows a little bit about comics.

These happen because there is a large amount of relevant knowledge reserves behind them. When needed, being able to be mobilized to enrich one's own understanding and ideas will naturally bring different power to others, far away from frivolous frankness.

Returning to the topic of the acceptance speech, Hu Ge’s speech included reflections on acting skills, understanding of human nature, and feedback from in-depth interactions with peers. His humanistic accumulation and thinking moved us. However, most actors only have a superficial understanding of acting, without in-depth study, let alone thinking and refining it into a systematic knowledge reserve. Naturally, even if the testimonials they uttered were sincere words, they were just scratches on the surface, making people feel painless.

It can be seen that if you want to stay away from frivolous frankness and embrace powerful sincerity, the premise is to read more and accumulate knowledge.

The key is, how many people can insist on doing this?

2. Let go of the burden of being like others, dare to listen to your heart, not follow the crowd, and break common routines.

Wow, that’s the feeling of winning the award! The sudden mudslide swept away the joy and discussion of the whole people.

We are accustomed to being taught in school to be grateful and serious when given the opportunity to give speeches. The first thing I say when I go on stage to share my experience with good grades is "Thank you for the teacher's guidance." When you grow up, you should also thank your leader first when you receive praise at work.

Articles praising Fu Yuanhui’s frankness and cuteness flooded in, and then voices began to say that Fu Yuanhui only represents the frankness and cuteness of the post-90s generation and does not deserve excessive praise. But on the Internet, you will see many messages of admiration from peers, "Ah! That's amazing. I usually talk like this, but I probably can't do it in such a serious situation."

Is her popularity just because of her straightforward and lovely character?

Such an unprecedented answer appeared in the Olympic Games that was exaggerated to be serious. The key is that she did not carry the same baggage as others, but showed her truest self as always, breaking the Common routine. What lies behind this is her critical thinking ability.

From Fu Yuanhui’s Weibo posts and interactions with netizens, you will see that she is just an ordinary teenager, with the same confusion and worries about herself, personality, rules, and relationships as her peers. And after reading some interviews, you will also find that this seemingly relaxed and funny girl actually thinks very thoroughly about the meaning and value of life.

What has she done to make herself different from her peers?

From the popular Weibo search of her airborne parents, I learned that their family education advocates a tolerant, open-minded and stress-free sheep-herding model, and encourages her to be her true self. She doesn’t have as much baggage as other children.

In addition, she mentioned that she likes reading books, talking to herself, and talking to wise men in books. She asks questions in her heart again and again to clarify her confusion, so that she can navigate every confusing life. In front of the topic, you have your own judgment and thinking. Therefore, on key occasions, she was able to easily break away from worldly routines, and her natural and innocent reaction became a shining highlight and moved us.

3. Let go of the burden of being immersed in your own world, think from others’ perspective, and be grounded.

For discussions on some topics, the speaker is sometimes inexplicably pushed to the forefront of controversy.

It seems that I do express my thoughts, but why don’t I get the approval from others?

In a debate on the theme of "Which happiness is better, buying a house or not buying a house?" in a certain issue of "Qi Pa Shuo Shuo", Jin Xing chose the view of not buying a house, and also tried his best to give reasons, saying that buying a house is draining the lives of young people. I hope to persuade you not to enter the life of a house slave.

However, the reason why she advocated not being a house slave is that her husband is German, they enjoy the stable and reliable housing rental market in developed countries, and her children’s education is not subject to Beijing’s household registration restrictions. Promote the lifestyle you practice in a completely different environment. The sincerity in your fantasy is actually the impression of standing up and talking without pain in your back.

When you sincerely advise others to do something or not to do something, if you cannot put yourself in his shoes and understand his situation and the reasons why he made this decision, then you are just immersed in it. A kind of self-preaching cannot impress others, it will only drive them further away.

On the contrary, host He Jiong, who is known for his sincerity and heart-warming nature, often gives many down-to-earth demonstrations in the show. Once, a guest seemed very nervous after being interrupted many times because of his controversial three views. He Jiong did not force the theory of "it's nothing to be nervous about, just take it easy" like other instructors, but stood up to the guest when he first arrived. From the perspective of an unfamiliar situation, he shared his own similar experiences to understand his nervousness, and then guided the guests step by step on how to adjust their nervous state. In this way, the guests recognized it, and we who were watching also felt the power of sincerity.

Whether Hu Ge, Fu Yuanhui, or He Jiong, you will find that when they express themselves, they are not only candid, but behind them, there are various forms of thinking. This process does not happen overnight, it requires reading and thinking over time. If you can persist, when you have the opportunity to express yourself, you will find that there will be a lot of applause accompanying you inadvertently.

But if you forget the starting point of being honest and use your own knowledge and thinking ability to gain scheming, you will arouse the wariness of others and lead you to the opposite path of sincerity.

After all, in sincerity, frankness and straightforwardness are the way, and thinking is the art.

May we all walk on the road of sincerity.