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Family humorous story composition
Family Humor Story Composition 1 Alin is my classmate in college and my long-lost friend. He went to Shanghai a few years ago and recently bought a mansion in a high-end residential area in the city center, while I have been living in an apartment for the elderly of less than 60 square meters. Two days ago, I received a phone call from Alin, who invited me to his house to talk about friendship.
That day, my wife and I arrived at the door of Alin's residential area as promised. We were stopped by security. After the security guard contacted Alin on the intercom, he confirmed our identity. Only then did he smile on his face and enthusiastically led us into the building where Alin lived.
Walking out of the elevator, Alin is waiting for us outside the elevator with a big smile on her face. It's a high-end residential area, even the corridors are richly decorated, with marble tiles on the ground and crystal lights hanging from the top. Alin led us into the house and handed me and my wife two pairs of disposable cotton slippers. I hesitated. I am born with smelly feet, and I am afraid of changing into cotton slippers to pollute the indoor air. Alin seems to read my mind. He smiled and said, "old classmate, I learned your smelly feet in the dormitory before." You put a disposable shoe cover on the cotton slippers, which has double protection and no odor. " I agreed embarrassedly: "Good idea! Or your brother is thoughtful. " After the host and guests were seated, we chatted. Alin is no longer the poor student who is short of money. He has a successful career and is ambitious. Not long after, Alin's wife prepared a sumptuous luncheon, with ten dishes and two soups, mixed with meat and vegetables, full of color, flavor and taste. I picked up the cup and felt a little strange. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a porcelain disposable glass. Alin proudly said: "Not only the wine glasses, but also the tableware of this table-plates, dishes, bowls and chopsticks are all disposable imitation porcelain. This kind of tableware is very hygienic and will not infect diseases. " To be fair, the food on the table tastes good, but somehow, this meal makes me feel a little uncomfortable and my heart is blocked.
After dinner, my disappointed stomach began to feel uncomfortable. I said awkwardly, "old classmate, I have to go to the bathroom." As he spoke, he ran to the bathroom. Alin grabbed me and said, "That's the main guard over there. You should go to the guest guard. " "People have three urgent needs." I turned around with a red face. Alin took out a toilet seat and handed it to me, saying, "This is disposable. Remember to put it on. " I nodded, and my face turned redder.
After the convenience, I felt I couldn't sit still at Alin's house, so I got up and left with my wife. Alin took us to the elevator, and we were about to get into it. Alin suddenly grabbed me and said, "Wait." Then he flew back, and soon Alin ran back with a black garbage bag. "There are just used disposable cotton slippers, shoe covers, tableware and toilet seats. Please take it down for me and throw it in the trash can. " Alin said to me. I took the garbage bag and took my wife downstairs by elevator. My wife threw the garbage bag into the trash can. She glared at me and said angrily, "I'll just go to Alin's house once." Let me accompany you to such a rich family in the future. I am anxious with you. "
Xu Zhichao is an official cadre. Although he is only 35 years old, he has been married twice. Both divorces were due to beating his wife.
Xu Zhichao is a literati, his character is full of romantic colors, and he prefers that kind of tall, beautiful, lively and intelligent amorous feelings. However, most of these women are provocative and have a strong sense of autonomy. Therefore, no matter how big or small things are, the couple hold their own opinions and no one will compromise, so quarreling has become a common occurrence. Xu Zhichao is all thumbs and stutters when he is in a hurry, while his two wives are experts in quarrelling. After becoming angry from embarrassment, we can only solve the problem by force.
Xu Zhichao has been single for two years. During the period, he was introduced to more than a dozen objects, including divorced and original yellow flower prostitutes. They are fat or thin, black or white, ugly or handsome, but when I heard that Xu Zhichao had a bad habit of beating his wife, it was like a plague, and they all avoided it. Some people say that Xu Zhichao will be a bachelor for a long time.
On this day, Xu Zhichao went home by train on a business trip and met a beautiful girl in the sleeping car. When Xu Zhichao accosted him, he was actually a fellow city or alumnus. Although Xu Zhichao has a bad temper, he is very handsome and talks well. Girls who meet for the first time often have a very good impression of him.
This woman's name is Liu Wen. She is 29 years old and has no marriage history.
Two months later, a couple's wedding was held ceremoniously. The quiet bride stood stiffly beside the tall and burly groom, like a water lotus that was too cool and gentle. Many people can't help feeling sorry: another unfortunate lamb fell into the wolf's mouth.
Sure enough, it wasn't long before Xu Zhichao did it again, but it wasn't the bride who suffered.
Near noon that day, Liu Wen called to say that she had a dinner party and would not come back for dinner. It happened that a friend got married that day, and Xu Zhichao also went to the restaurant for a wedding banquet. Halfway through the meal, the director of the unit called and said that several comrades from the superior unit had come from the provincial capital and asked him to meet people at the railway station. When I passed the hall, I accidentally swept it and found my wife and a middle-aged man sitting in a corner of the hall. Nobody touched the food. My wife was crying. Due to time constraints, Xu Zhichao did not intervene on the spot.
That night, the couple had an argument about this matter. Xu Zhichao asked, "Who is the man who had dinner with you at noon?" Liu Wen said, "Why do you ask?" Xu Zhichao said, "You have an affair." Liu Wen said, "You are talking nonsense." Xu Zhichao said, "If the relationship is not ambiguous, why are you crying? Why did he pass the paper towel? " The more you talk, the worse it gets. Liu Wen said, "It's boring!" Say that finish and left. Xu Zhichao grabbed Liu Wen's shoulder. He wants to say: make it clear before you leave. Before he could say anything, Liu Wen buckled his right wrist with his left hand like a leopard. A car turned around with his right shoulder under his arm. With a force, Xu Zhichao felt his legs off the ground and his whole body rolled over Liu Wen's shoulder. With a bang, he fell heavily on the floor.
Xu Zhichao became angry from embarrassment, got up and wanted to fight again. His hand was twisted by his wife's backhand and grabbed him to the ground. He said coldly, "I heard that you have the habit of hitting your wife. You dare not enter this house without hitting twice."
Xu Zhichao was taken to the hospital and examined for a slight fracture of the coccyx.
On the day of accompanying the bed, Liu Wen explained the whole story It turned out that Liu Wen was a member of the provincial judo team before going to college and won the second place in the provincial games. Later, in a training session, he broke his tibia due to his opponent's mistake, so he quit his sports career. The man who had dinner, the coach of the provincial team, passed by this city to see her. Liu Wen might have made even greater achievements and even been selected for the national team if it hadn't been for the accident, he said. Liu Wen is very sad about this.
How much hatred can a couple have? Go home. But his wife's violent tendency was suddenly activated. As long as they quarrel, they start fighting within two sentences. Although my wife's name is Liu Wen, she is neither quiet nor slim. I'm not an athlete anymore, and I often feel itchy. When I meet a person who loves to do things, it is just a good opportunity to brush up on old skills. What "wrestling skills", "solid skills" and "personal skills" are used, but they are all idle anyway. Xu Zhichao can't stand it. He filed for divorce several times. His wife said, "Want to leave? No way! I will make it up to you in this life. "
Xu Zhichao is very painful, only hate that there is no "male alliance".
A woman got married, but she gave birth to a little boy less than half a year after marriage.
My mother-in-law is very embarrassed. She walks around the house with her child in her arms every day, afraid to go out for fear of being discovered by outsiders.
Seeing that her mother-in-law likes children so much, a woman said to her mother-in-law, "Mom, if I had known you liked children so much, I would have brought my boss."
"You seem to have many friends, don't you?"
"It depends on when."
"What do you mean?"
"See when they need me, or when I need them."
Family humor story composition 4 Xiao Zhang is called Teacher Zhang, and it is difficult to find a job after graduating from college. Because there are enough leaders now, those in charge of recruitment don't want to find themselves a boss for no reason!
It's all the names To this end, during the interview, Xiao Zhang will declare: "My real name is Teacher Zhang. If you think this name is not good, I can change it! "
One day, it was another interview, and Xiao Zhang was another statement. Unexpectedly, the recruiter looked up at him for a long time and suddenly burst out laughing. After laughing, he said, "Don't change it. It's a good name. You're hired!"
Xiao Zhang's immediate superior is the person in charge of recruitment. He is the head of the company's sales department. Strangely, after Wang recruited Xiao Zhang into the sales department, he only arranged for him to fetch water, sweep the floor, clean the table, and sometimes even blocked the toilet. Wang also let Xiao Zhang make it clear. What makes Xiao Zhang unbearable most is that section chief Wang often calls him to the office for scolding, which makes him nervous all day.
On this day, Xiao Zhang was inexplicably scolded by Wang Xun, and he was very wronged. He sat in the office and blushed.
A shop assistant felt sorry for him. He came over and whispered to him, "Dude, if you want to work here, just bear it." Who gave you a bad reputation! "
Xiao Zhang was puzzled and asked why.
The clerk said, "You don't know, our general manager is, and we all call him Manager Zhang. At that time, Wang and he competed for the position of general manager and won. Our section chief Wang is also having a hard time. "
Xiao Zhang didn't understand what was going on after listening for a long time. He said piteously, "What does this have to do with me?"
The clerk looked around and whispered, "Aren't you called Manager Zhang? Wang Kechang hated that manager Zhang and didn't dare to offend him, so he had to take it out on you! "
After reading some books, Hutu feels great. So we often look down on others, always find fault with others and despise what others have done. When he reads other people's articles, he often says "good dog!" When he sees other people's paintings and calligraphy, he always scolds: "Dog!" Later, when he saw what others did was not pleasing to the eye, he angrily scolded: "Dog!" " "
Once, the Hutu hired an artist to paint a portrait of his father. When he saw the painter's thin face and yellow face, he secretly scolded, "Look at this dog, can you draw my father well?" A few days later, his father's portrait was painted. As soon as he took a look, he severely reprimanded the painter: "Look at your dog!" " "
The painter giggled when he heard this. His father was very angry and slapped him in the face. After he was beaten, he muttered unconvinced: "I'm not scolding you, look at the dog he painted!" " "
Once upon a time, there was a homeless tramp named Zhang San.
On New Year's Eve, he saw people setting off firecrackers, lighting incense sticks and preparing to meet the God of Wealth. He found nothing and his heart itched.
It's getting late. Everyone's doors are closed. Anyway, he's fine, just wandering in the street. Go to the front of a drugstore, see the lights inside, and look through the door. Wow! The owner of the drugstore in the house is worshipping the God of Wealth, burning incense and kowtowing, and keeps chanting: "Grandpa God of Wealth has appeared to make people sick more, and bless my business to prosper and make a fortune!" "
Zhang Sanyi listened: "Hum!" Look at your dog's bad heart of not eating. You are full of dirty words. "He held his breath and left. Walking, they walked to the door of the coffin shop, trapped the door and looked in, where they were also worshipping the god of wealth. The owner of the coffin shop is kneeling on the ground and praying: "God of Wealth, come out quickly! Please suffer many disasters and die in the new year, and bless me with rich financial resources and progress every day. "
Hearing this, Zhang Sanyi felt that this guy was more wicked than the drug seller, and what he said was not like human life. In a rage, no one went to see it anymore. Back to the ruined temple where he stayed, Zhang San was too cold to sleep. The more he thinks about what happened at night, the angrier he gets. Suddenly, he had a plan: to make fun of these two guys.
The next morning, Zhang San hurried to the drugstore and said to the pharmacist, "Hey! Sir, I'm in a hurry. The old lady in the coffin shop is ill. Let me invite you to see a doctor. " Mr. drugstore is very happy to hear this. He thought: please treat me on the first day of the New Year. This is really a miracle of the god of wealth. Good luck!
Then Zhang San ran to the coffin shop and said to the boss, "Big boss, congratulations on the New Year. Let me tell you something. The old man in the drugstore died and asked you to prepare the coffin. Mr. drugstore will buy it himself in the future. " His family was busy with the funeral, and I was specially invited. "
Hearing this, the owner of the coffin shop beamed and thought, Dear, it's lucky that someone came to buy a coffin on the first day of the New Year's Day. It's a good year!
Soon, Mr. Pharmacy came to the coffin shop. The owner of the coffin shop was very happy when he saw it. But I had to pretend to be sympathetic and say, "Hey, hey! Your grandfather died on the first day of New Year's Day. It was really hard. I received your message and prepared a good cedar coffin for you. See for yourself if it is suitable! "
When Mr. drugstore heard this, he was simply confused: "What coffin is not a coffin! Didn't you say that someone in your family was seriously ill and let me rescue him? " The owner of the coffin shop was furious: "Bah! It is in the New Year's Eve that your family is seriously ill! " Mr. drugstore is even more angry. "Bah! Chinese New Year, someone has just passed away in your family! "
So two people you scold, he also two words, from the verbal start work, straight hit the wall. Zhang San looked at this move from a distance and shouted, "Oh dear! The god of wealth has appeared and business is booming! "
Li likes playing chess, so do his wife and children. If we play a game of chess, the whole family will have nothing else to do and can come and watch. On this day, the couple started the battlefield under the gaze of their daughter and son. Suddenly, it rained and the quilt was drying outside. This one says, "It's raining." That one said, "It's raining." No one went out to hug the quilt.
It's the Spring Festival again. Just after frying the oil, the oil is hot and cold, and the battlefield is spread out again. The oil was so cold that no one scooped it out that the puppy drank a lot.
Li geng's son likes playing chess more, and shine on you is better than Lan. One day, li geng and his son played three games and lost. He was in a hurry and took it out again and said, "This time, I'm going to lose. I'll call you dad. " I'm going to lose to my son in the fourth set. His wife immediately upset the chess game. His son is very anxious. "No, no, we will win." Mom said, "Hey, if you win, you can't let your dad call you dad."
Family Humor Story Composition 8 These three bachelors are my nephews. One is Wen Rong, one is Rong Qin, and the other is Hua Rong. People in their fifties have no parents, so they are really old bachelors.
People are divided into groups. They often chat together and never talk to outsiders. Although I grow grain fields, I am too busy and have a lot of free time. It takes half a day to get together. These three people, usually very quiet, talked a lot together and didn't know what to say.
Wen Rong is also a bachelor destined to be lonely. When I was a child, my family's living conditions were very rich, and there were many media promoters. He waited for more than 20 single matchmakers until he reached the well. The child is ambitious, too. After graduating from the sixth grade, he taught himself Chinese medicine. Later, under the guidance of Mr. Xu Tingxuan, an old Chinese medicine practitioner, he made rapid progress. In a few years, it will be fine. Later, through the training of Correspondence University of Traditional Chinese Medicine, my medical skills became better. During the cooperative medical service, the brigade recommended him to work in the clinic, but somehow he was trampled down. I can't open a Chinese medicine shop myself, and the price is cheaper than that of the clinic, so there is an endless stream of people looking for him to see a doctor. Later, I don't know why, but the town health center examined him many times. When he said that the medicine he took was fake, Wen Rong blushed and said with a thick neck, "How can my ... my ... medicine be ... fake?" You stammer when you listen. Indeed, he has got this bad habit since he was a child, and it is really difficult to talk to him now. If you know your temper, don't talk to him when you see him. As long as you take your first pulse, he will know what's wrong with you. Then you said the illness, he checked one by one, and finally prescribed medicine. There was a joker who obviously had a headache and complained of a stomachache. He stamped his feet in anxiety. He often spits at the stars and says, "God ... what a psycho!" " "
In the past, Wen Rong's father asked me to find him a date several times, but the conditions were not high, as long as she was a woman. One day, when I came home from Taicheng, I met Zhang Qing on the way and said that I had recently adopted a crazy woman named Li Yan, and he had been cured almost. Can you find her a partner? It's really hard to find a place to get it. It doesn't take much effort to get it. I immediately thought of my nephew Wen Rong.
Zhang Qing told me: "This woman is lovelorn, crazy and demanding. The object must have correct facial features and excellent skills. "
I said, "The man I introduced to him is my nephew, just like you."
Zhang Qing said, "Well, watch your words at ordinary times. If you don't stimulate her, you will fully recover. "
I said, "Don't worry, it's my treat."
When I got home, I went to Wen Rong's house to find my eldest brother and told him about it. Eldest brother agreed, and then let me go back to deal with it.
I said, "I'm more anxious than you, but that woman is very demanding, and she's afraid she doesn't like our children." What shall we do? I think it's also an aid to let Yongtai accompany me. "
Big brother said, "Well, yes." Tell Wen Rong to call Yongtai. Less than half a pack of cigarettes, Yongtai came.
I said, "So soon, how positive!"
Yongtai said, "Who is unhappy at this? Can you not come earlier? "
I said, "but when it's done, we'll rely on the south wall."
Yongtai said, "Let Big Brother kill a chicken this afternoon to entertain us."
I said, "My daughter-in-law is here. Even if we don't mention it, my eldest brother has to entertain others with chicken."
Eldest brother urged, "Stop grinding your mouth and let's go!" I cook at home. "
We rode our bikes and arrived at the clinic in Zhang Qing half an hour later.
She saw me and asked, "Is this the man? Although he is old, he is very handsome. Li Yan must be in love. "
I said, "No, he came to pick me up. The home is ready, and you can leave this afternoon. "
Zhang Qing said, "You two sit here and have tea. I'll ask Li Yan to dress up. "
Zhang Qing led Li Yan to come. When we saw him, he looked like a madman, neatly dressed and with sparkling eyes. When I saw us, I was shy.
I asked Zhang Qing, "Let's go! Let Yongtai carry her. " Zhang Qing quite agreed. I lead the way, Yongtai and Li Yan are in the middle, and Zhang Qing is behind. A group of four people paid attention to our village on camera. Everyone in the street looked at us with their necks stretched out. On the way, Li Yan and Yongtai kept pulling. I think Li Yan probably regards Yongtai as my old nephew.
Eldest brother squinted with joy when he saw Li Yan satisfied. Needless to say, tea before wine. Drink and drink, and it will be dark. Zhang Qing wanted to go back, so I said, "You can stay for one night. It is convenient to have a place to sleep. My old nephew and Li Yan haven't talked. I wonder if they want to? " Zhang Qing thought about it and agreed.
My neighbor is a director. In recent years, there have been more and more things with employees. At first, the director's wife only attended the housewarming wedding of the section chief and deputy director. Later, no matter which deputy director's dog or kitten gave birth to a cub, other deputy directors' wives would send her congratulatory messages.
Finally, one day, the director's lover couldn't help it and said to the director, "If this continues, the loss will be too serious. We have to think of a gift name for the people below, otherwise it won't work! " The director nodded and said yes, then said awkwardly, "but what do we have?" At the wedding reception, our child was only ten years old and moved to a new house seven times, saying that cows give birth to calves, pigs and pigs, and others don't believe it ... "After thinking for a long time, the director's lover suddenly patted his thigh and said," I have a good idea! Isn't there a big goldfish in our house? Let it have a baby. " The director smiled and said, "That's a male goldfish. How can it have a baby? " The director's lover was dissatisfied and said, "Dead brain! It's sad that the country let you people be leaders! What's going on now? Besides, who can tell if it's a male or a female? "
A few days later, the director's lover really took action. After she bought some small goldfish from the goldfish shop and put them in the fish tank, she began to call the office directors of the subordinate units and companies in the bureau: "My big goldfish was born, and everyone in other bureaus should be busy. I'm embarrassed if the director refuses. Don't say that. I'm afraid if you know, the director will look down on you. Everyone from other bureaus came to see it, but no one came. I thought it was because the director had a bad relationship with the masses. I'm telling you, I'm in charge. You only tell a few people who are close to the director. Let's celebrate. Anyway, it is a happy event! "
Hearing this, the director of the office said, Oh, my God! what can I do? Who has a good relationship with the director? Who has a bad relationship with the director? I don't know these days. Nevertheless, the director of this office had an idea and wrote a notice on the blackboard: according to inside information, the director's family was added. Those who have a good relationship with the director will take the initiative to congratulate each other, without organization, requirement and confidentiality.
At night, more than 0/00 people came from government agencies and subordinate companies. The director's lover was overjoyed, so he quietly told the director of the office to hold a banquet at Le Hotel. Originally, banquets were not allowed, but the director's "friends" came all the way, so we can't let people go back on an empty stomach, can we? When I went to the hotel, I saw some brought gifts and some gave gifts. People eat and drink, and the atmosphere is warmer than when we got married. A drunk asked the person next to him, "Hello! I wonder if the director's family got a boy or a girl this time? " The whole table shook their heads and said they didn't know.
After the banquet, a close friend of the director's lover came to see the little goldfish. They said to the director, "It's amazing that your fish can produce so many small fish." The director smiled and said, "Don't you get it? It's called science. Now everything has been cloned, and I spent hundreds of dollars on this cloning fee. " People praised the director for his cleverness.
After the people left, the director's wife happily counted the money. The director asked, "Did these little goldfish make you a lot of money?" The director's lover laughed without saying a word.
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