Looking for a campus sketch script that can be performed by multiple people

"Dating"

Characters: (Three people, classmates)

Scene: A bench under a street lamp on campus Author: Passing by is beautiful

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Male student: Liu Xiaxia (played by Liu Dazhe)

Female student: Huang Buluo (played by Yang Dan)

Security member: A (played by Li Haibo)

Female: (entering the stage) I can’t call you Huang. I’m a junior in college and I don’t have a boyfriend yet. People say that the first year is charming, the second year is pretty, and the third year is the alarm. The alarm has been sounding for a month, and finally yesterday I caught a freshman boy. He said on QQ that he was a manly man. My mother said, just look for a tall and powerful man. I guess he can't be wrong.

Male: (Singing) There are so many lonely people, but I am the only one who is happy.

Hey, that’s what happened. I met a sister who was a junior in QQ and asked me how old I was. I was a freshman. I didn’t do well in my freshman year. I started late and lost it. Even though I look young, I am mature and mature. It’s not like you don’t know the situation in our school: the ratio of men to women is far from matched. Boys line up in front of the girls’ building. If they are not strong enough, they have to retreat. Seeing others in pairs makes even a glass of boiled water feel stomach-breaking. Pure hearts are getting haggard. At night I have always dreamed of going on a date. In short, being alone makes me miserable. Why are you laughing? If you don’t have a girlfriend, you are a loser. This date not only represents me personally, it is a collective honor for our entire class. Look, these clothes belong to Brother Tao, these shoes belong to Brother Jing, and this hair style is designed by Sister Yan for me. Are you kidding me? They are all celebrities in the school. By the way, I have to say the secret code: lonely boy, talking but not laughing.

Female: A lonely girl, helpless

Male: Playing cards at night and sleeping during the day

Female: Staying alone in an empty room, feeling irritable

Male: Looking for a close friend to relieve boredom

Female: Making friends, my hobby

Female: Oh, who are you? (Patting Liu on the shoulder)

Male: (Stepping forward to hold Huang’s hand) My surname is Liu, please call me down, my full name is Liu down. So you must be?

Female: (swinging Liu’s hand twice before shaking it off) What are you doing! We just met, don't hold on so tightly, I can't call you "Huang" (to the audience: He's a pure quality man, the man looks like a bodybuilder) Your mother must be a big boss, how about giving you such a name?

Male: Whose mother is the boss? My mother had already graduated from junior high school when I was born.

Female: Your speech is quite humorous.

Male: If you are not humorous, this is called loneliness.

Female: Why are you lonely? People say you boys have a good life. You go out to play basketball when you have time. You can brag when you have nothing to do. Unlike me, others go out to fall in love, but I am at ease in the dormitory.

Male: You can’t say that. You are lonely alone, and we are even more lonely when we are lonely together.

Female: Don’t you like playing ball?

Male: I like bouncing glass balls.

Female: Do you like reading novels?

Male: Let me tell you, I’m a big fan of novels. I’ve read all of Jin Yong’s novels, I’m tired of Gu Long’s novels, and Qiong Yao’s novels are so sticky. The hearts of young people are ready to change. (Eye contact with woman) What do you like to see?

Female: I like watching TV.

Male: Watching TV? We are not allowed to watch it in the dormitory of our school. Besides, what’s the point of watching TV? It’s just talking, laughing, making noise, jumping around, and cuddling.

Female: You, what you said is too extreme. TV has many benefits that you cannot see. TV can talk to me, laugh with me, sing with me and dance with me. This feeling of happiness can only be experienced by me when I am lonely. (Take Liu's hand and say embarrassedly) Sit down, you idiot!

Male: Oh, it’s so powerful.

I heard that every dormitory has a telescope. Is this true?

Female: Yes, the damn thing is that you sometimes have curtains in the boys’ dormitories!

Male: We also have privacy.

Female: But, it’s more enjoyable to watch freshmen boys. Cool! How cool!

Male: Really?

Female: Well, that’s great!

Male: Do you know the five types of relationships between our classmates?

Female: Of course

Male: Tell me?

Female: That’s easy. The first type is a table-mate relationship. Survival rate 10.

Male: I know that, it’s you who is sitting at the same table. Why is there still a survival rate?

Female: It’s the success rate. Are you a kid? The second type is a revolutionary relationship.

Male: What’s the relationship?

Female: Boys and girls get together because of organizational work, which is the most stubborn reason. Revolutionary relationships are excellent soil for cultivating love and have contributed to the good fortune of many "revolutionary predecessors" for hundreds of years. The survival rate is 45.

Male: What about the third type?

Female: The third type is unrequited love relationship

Male: You like him, but he doesn’t like you, right?

Female: Correct, (proudly) I once had a crush on eight people! Survival rate 5.

Male: Oh, it happens to be a dormitory. How tiring that is. What about the fourth type?

Female: We have a sworn relationship

Male: So great.

Female: You have a big tail. This kind of relationship is pretending to be great and pretending not to be anything like it. It is the stupidest kind of relationship. Survival rate 20.

Male: What else?

Female: It is the last type, cohabitation relationship.

Male: Just rent a house outside the school

Female: Smart, it is a special case of mutual use, it is relatively sensitive, and I am afraid that you will learn badly if I talk to you too much. Survival rate 20.

Male: What about us? (Take the woman’s hand)

Female: (Point the man’s forehead) Silly!

Male: Actually, I think you are a pretty good person. You talk like you are stepping on cotton.

Female: Actually, I think you are quite a good person, you are so cute and exquisite, why don’t you have a girlfriend? (Pulls the man to sit down)

Male: (stands up again) I just came to school, I haven’t seen the advertisements, I don’t know the depth, and I haven’t found the trick.

Female: What kind of girl do you like? (Turn around, embarrassed)

Male: (Sit on the chair, move the chair three times, and approach the woman) I like the kind of people who go straight, talk and laugh, fight and make trouble land. A place for me to rely on. (Take the initiative to lean on the woman’s shoulder)

Female: (Speaking emotionally) Yes, point it up!

Security team members come on stage: I just entered the student union yesterday and was honored to be selected for the security team. It’s still early and I don’t want to sleep, so I’m not afraid of getting tired while checking the campus. What are the two people in front of them doing? It's outrageous to hug each other in a public place. Hey, classmates, it’s almost eleven o’clock, it’s time to go back to the dormitory.

Female: (Push the man away, stand up, glare at the school guard angrily.)

Male: (The man sat on the ground in fright, holding his head in his hands ) Oh my god, it’s from the Public Security Bureau. I didn't do anything bad.

Female: Just look at it. Did you pee your pants?

Male: (looks at his legs and says loudly) No urine.

Security member: Didn’t you hear what I said to you two?

Male: Teacher, I heard you.

Female: What kind of teacher? The youngest is so dazzling, so awkward. What do you call the knot inside?

Male: I said the teacher didn’t have a baton. (Stands up, steps forward to take a closer look,) Oh my god, the security team is there.

Security team member: Yes, I am from the security team of the student union of the college. Why don’t you go back to the dormitory? Let’s talk about love tomorrow.

Female: How awesome are you for holding a broken fire stick? As soon as we got into the mood, we were disturbed by you, a plague-ridden person. The feeling of you accompanying me.

You accompany me. I am already a junior in college. Is it easy? I. (Pretending to cry)

Male: (speaking comfortingly) Don’t cry. If you cry, I want to cry too. By the way, if I don’t stand up on this occasion, who will? If I don’t go to hell, who will go to hell? ? (Proudly speaking to the school nurse) Let me tell you, I am also a member of the student union.

Security member: What department are you in?

Male: Dormitory Management Committee

Security member: Just a demo, you are not up to standard in terms of image.

Female: Is your image good? (After saying that, he continued to cry)

Security member: Did you come in through the back door?

Male: There is no backdoor in our boarding house. Let me tell you, I came in through hundreds of people’s campaign and speeches.

Security member: Just you? No wonder. Now it’s: Brother Liu is getting older and older, and Brother Xu’s hair is getting less and less, so he chose such a yin and yang thing like you.

Male: You are not allowed to talk about them behind their backs.

Security member: I’m not talking about the two of them, the whole thing, a pair of two hundred and fifty, that’s not bullshit!

Male: Your image is great.

Female: They are all the same size when viewed horizontally or vertically.

Security member: What can I do to you? You are not from the board of directors.

Female: (wiping away tears) Although I am not a member of the dormitory management committee, I respect them and like them, so what?

Security member: Our school nursing team is also pretty good, they are all handsome guys.

Female: Yes, you are all polished commanders, your body is like a bucket, you can’t find a partner yourself, and you care about others, you are all pink-eyed.

Male: Are the security team members’ eyes all red?

Security member: Who should I kill? But then again, I also want to join the dormitory management committee. The most hateful thing is that those two old guys don't want me. He also said that I was too capable of pretending to be powerful, and my face was even better than that of Li Bingshuang.

Male: Are you the one who can tell Li Bingshuang? (Proud) That is the love of all the boys in our board of directors!

Female: Who is your true love? Be clear. (Pinch the man’s ears and waist with his hands)

Male: You are, you are. That’s it!

Security member: You have such a small body, if you continue to talk nonsense, be careful of your 1-foot-8 waist, she will have it broken.

Male: Do you also know my waist size? I said that one time when I was taking a bath in the bathtub, a person looked directly at me. It turned out to be you 1

Security member: Who wants to look at you! Are you the captain of the Spare Ribs Team?

Female: (Touching the man’s upper body) What’s wrong with the ribs? I like to touch men who have no meat anywhere! (stomps feet) I’m so mad at you!

Security member: Why?

Female: Then I can’t tell you. That's our secret.

Male: Yes, our secret. (To the audience:) What secrets do we have?

Security member: (turns his face) If you want to touch me, don’t do it on this campus!

Female: Look at your sai, you old hater. Have you read the new handbook for college students?

Security member: No.

Female: Let me tell you, today’s college students can not only fall in love, but also get married in school!

Security member: Really? Then you can't hug each other on campus?

Female: How about a hug? What's wrong with you? We have nothing else to do.

Male: Yes, we are not doing anything else.

Security member: To be honest, I don’t have a girlfriend either, and I would like one too. (Make a sign of pain) Can you introduce one to me?

Female: Please ask me?

Male: Let’s take care of him this time.

Female: Yes, let’s ask him a few questions.

Male: Oh. I said: The monkey picked a card, so he climbed on the branch to see what card it was.

Unexpectedly, a lightning struck it. What did the monkey cry?

Security member: Monkeys too, what are you looking for when you climb a tree? Did it hurt the ground badly?

Female: I’m off topic, come on.

Male, I picked up a card. What happened?

Security member: It said, why didn’t I bring an umbrella?

Female: It’s not easy to be as stupid as you are. Tell him what he said.

Male: (holding an IP in hand) Monkey said: "It turns out to be an 'IP' card!"

Security member: Why didn't I think of that?

Female: (playing with the security guard’s head with his hands) With a brain like this, he could be struck by lightning at a glance.

Security member: I have never been struck by lightning. I was kicked twice by a donkey when I was a child.

Male: Are you lonely?

Security team member: Nonsense, can you join the security team if you are not lonely? It gets even lonelier after entering.

Male: Easy to handle, take off your armband. Tie your armband to a stick and go to the rooftop to wave the stick when the wind blows. Others will ask you: What are you doing? What did you say?

Security member: I don’t know what to do?

Female: Just say: I have convulsions!

Security member: Oh, I’m having a seizure, I’m having a seizure, you’re the one who’s having a seizure! Aren't you deliberately burying me?

Female: Come on, let me tell you one more thing. You are a police dog.

Security member: Who is the police dog?

Female: Are you pretending! Do you still want a girlfriend?

Security member: Okay, I’m a police dog, woof woof woof!

Female: Louder!

Security member: Woof woof woof!

Female: Said that the police dog saw a naughty dog ??coming on the road, (referring to the man, the man’s hands were made like a puppy)

Security member: He’s not even a match for me!

Female: He ran to it fiercely and asked: I am a police dog, what are you?

Security member: (said to the man angrily) I am a police dog, what are you?

Male: A police dog is just an ox?

Female: (to the school nurse) What do you think the rascal said?

Security member: He must have been so scared that he pissed himself and ran away. Is this right? Let me tell you, there are very few security guards as smart as me!

Female: (pointing to the man) Tell him what a shameless dog said.

Male: Idiot, look clearly, I am in plainclothes!

Female: You have no hope! well!

Security member: Do you want to test me again? Good sister, ah, good sister.

Female: This is the last time. For this question, you must prove that you are a human being.

Security member: This is easy to handle. Come out.

Male: Say you are racing against a bear. Do you hope: 1. You can run faster than the bear; 2. You can run as fast; 3. You can run slower than the bear...

Female: Choose one from three, got it?

Security member: Of course I can run fast. Our school nursing team can also run fast. How to explain?

Female: You are worse than an animal

Security member: Why are you swearing?

Male, by the way, we girls in charge of martial arts all talk like this!

Security member: What if I run slower than it?

Female: You are worse than a beast.

Security member: I understand, then I can run as fast as a bear, right?

Female: Well, I’m sorry, you are just a beast!

Male: Did you hear that? Our sisters have already given you a thumbs up. There is no hope for you.

Security member: Oops! You two play with me.

Female: Who makes us a family! You, take it early, find a corner, squat and sing "Conquer"! Let's go.

Security member: What are you doing? No staying up late at night!

Male and female: Let’s go back to our respective buildings, bye! (They exit holding hands with each other)

Security member: Alas! I'm such a coward. They fooled me on my first day of patrol. It's really hard to be a man in the security team! Alas...

(Waiting for the man and woman to join hands and come on stage, the three of them salute together and exit.)

(Full text is over)