Feng Gong's classic quotations

Lead: Feng Gong, born on1957 65438+February 6, formerly known as Feng Mingguang and Feng Zengsun, graduated from the College of Literature of Central China Normal University, a crosstalk performer, and studied under the crosstalk master Ma Ji. At present, he is the head of China Broadcasting Art Troupe, a visiting professor at Beijing Academy of Performing Arts, a national first-class actor, the vice chairman of Chinese Quyi Artists Association, a member of the Central Committee of the Chinese Revolutionary Committee and a member of the Standing Committee of all-china youth federation. The 11th and 12th Standing Committee of China People's Political Consultative Conference. The 12th Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference Standing Committee, the Standing Committee of the Central Committee of the Chinese Revolutionary Committee, the vice chairman of the Chinese Quyi Artists Association, the artistic director of the China Broadcasting Art Troupe, and the vice chairman of the China Federation of Literary and Art Circles. The works of 16, such as Idea Company in the Spring Festival Evening of 1994, Love Song on the Road in the Spring Festival Evening of 2003, and Return Money in the Spring Festival Evening of 2010, all won the first prize in the Spring Festival Evening.

1, just cut some meat. From the thigh 1 kg. If you eat well, come back and get the meat for the old lady and watch with trembling hands. Too fat.

My sister-in-law married me. She was my sister-in-law at first.

3. Go your own way and say who you want!

4. Speak louder without electricity!

After all, I couldn't outrun the BMW and watched it die in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my pedal is broken!

6, little girl, give uncle a smile, don't laugh, that uncle will give you a smile.

From today on, I will never eat lobster again.

8. I used to talk. I thought I was blind.

The young man looks like an actor. ...

10, never defeated by scientists, right?

1 1. A tailor who doesn't want to be a chef is not a good driver.

12, tired of walking, he sits here, the dog sits here, one side is high, and people who come over wonder: Whose twin is this?

13, half a bottle of beer and get drunk.

14, too bad lyrics version … use nunchakus quickly. Hehe ~ ~ ~ It's over ~ You two die here ~ ~

15, there are four dishes on the table, open the first one, oh! Very good! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the second one, even better! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the third one, peanuts, no vinegar! The fourth one looks like a plate of vinegar!

16, he is very traditional. He prefers reading to going out to play. There are various versions of Jin Ping Mei in the room.

17, this plane is also diesel.

18, pancakes and steamed bread with rice.

19, you know my appetite, and I don't like roast duck, so I can't eat any more after eating four, so I said, I really can't eat any more, and I have to eat it when I get home later.

20. The white one in the White House-freshly brushed pulp.

2 1, what have you got? My mother brought me eggs. Give it to me. No ... guess, guess how many. I think so. You give me one. If you want to guess, I'll give you two. Five?

22. Behind every successful man, there is a woman, but I failed because there are two women behind me.

23. the lock is opened with a noodle, and a pack of instant noodles can open a community.

Mr. Fan's daughter was insulted by hooligans. I stood up with a basket and said, you scared me to death. I thought I was robbing eggs.

25, crosstalk is good! Carry forward the truth, goodness and beauty, and make Huoxiang upright.

26. You can earn 300,000 yuan after working ... Look at the drawings and build a 40-meter chimney. When it was covered, someone came to see it and beat me up The drawings are upside down. They asked me to dig a well.

27, lobster, sea crab, haha! I like to eat shells! Waiter, bring him a plate of melon seeds.

28. Flight 90 1, from Xizhimen to Zhongguancun, the fare is 5 yuan, please board. How interesting you say this is. The flight attendants will shout when they stand there. Let's go, let's go. There are big seats, there are big seats.

29. The wild animals in the mountains are swallows in the clouds, the cattle and sheep on the land are fresh on the bottom of the sea, the shark wings of the monkey's bird's nest, and the deer's tail tips of the bear's paw scallops! Throw away your cheeks and pull your molars back. Food is like flowing water in the Yangtze River, like clouds, just like dumping soil in a box. ...

I buy 50 good cars-Alto, Alto, Alto! Get up with a dart and drive like a train!

3 1, how many stops is Tieling from America!

No one who doesn't know him has ever eaten pork.

33. Listening to cross talk shows that you are patriotic. There is a child near our home who can speak seven or eight foreign languages, such as English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav, North Slavic and West Slavic ... Can he sit with Eight-Nation Alliance and scold him anyway? Tell him you listen to cross talk.

34. They don't pick things up when they go out, so they lose them.

35, er ~ ~ This student is so rare that I, I think you are my michel platini. Come, adoptive father, have a seat, adoptive father.

36. Animals (people) have discerning eyes.

37, can't serve the country and the world, whose husband am I!

38. Last time I drank too much, I used chopsticks as chicken feet and ate one and a half.

39. The sincere love story between Simon and Jinlian ~ ~

40. People always want to let ghosts and gods know when they do good things, but it's too embarrassing for ghosts and gods not to know when they do bad things. They spent 200 yuan to buy a little pig, squeaking to drink water, squeaking to eat beans, throwing them on the wall, squeaking, and guess what-dead!

4 1, the party is over, don't go. I'll treat you to dinner, and whoever goes will pay.

42. "Grandpa, how can I go to America?" "Then who knows ... ask the village chief!"

43. Ten years in primary school and twelve years in middle school were rated as the most familiar faces in the whole school. When the new teacher came, he asked me the inside story of the school. ...

44. Couples don't necessarily have good feelings, and those with good feelings are not necessarily lovers; Crosstalk masters don't necessarily speak crosstalk, singers don't necessarily know music,

45. I don't leave my grandfather here, I leave my grandfather everywhere, I want to go to the railway!

46. When I have money, I will buy clothes for the leader.

47. The American goddess, with a torch in one hand and a book in the other, told us to study even if there was a power failure.

48. The old man had only one tooth left, and as a result, his teeth were blocked when he was eating! -Eat lotus root in your mouth

49. If you want to be famous, you should publish a book first, and something will happen first ~!

I am a second-hand scientist.

5 1, give ya broken money (lucky money)

52. Your shameless appearance bears the charm of my youth.

53. He can break white shorts into chrysanthemums when he farts.

54. Those of us born after ... 1880.

55, the daughter of a family, how to decide for herself, just don't post photos online, (referring to Yu Qian) Yu Guanxi!

56. He doesn't even know the neighborhood, but he also considers whether there are aliens in the world!

57. Can you still fire me? This is my business.

58, listen to cross talk 20, 13 thousand, and then add money with a smile.

59. That's it. After education, you are also a rogue! ! !

60. Six grenades for one dollar. I'll throw you a hundred dollars first!

6 1. It rained twice this week, the first three days and the last four days.

62. Many cross talks are made up, but this one is true.

63. Dad Qian stood up after watching the symphony: This grandson hasn't sawed yet. ...

64. This matter is not far from now. If there are old people at home, you can go back and ask them-during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period.

There are no roads in the world. There are many people walking, and it is useless to have a road.

66. What's your name again? Don't say that. You said it was a curse.

67. They all came to see you. Really? You are serious. Listen.

68, a face of protective hair

69. I drove three miles. It's so exciting.

70. Crowding is not good for people. You explain this problem to me and shut up.

7 1, it's a pleasure to have friends from afar ~

72. I envy you! Envy what? You know me so young?

73. At that time, I was stupid and simple! This is his fault. ...

74. I am used to getting on the kang at home.

75. If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

76. See you eat spinach with a green face. Your father Popeye!

77. You can shoot for five minutes.

78. It looks like a car accident scene!

79. If you want to look down on everything, you will be very happy. If you are unemployed, people will still lose their virginity. Your daughter-in-law doesn't want you and she doesn't want me.

80. As soon as the door opened, two little nurses came down. Ah, the thief is beautiful, seven 1 meter, big eyes, small cherry mouth, and a small waist with a width of one nanometer, just like a retired flight attendant. Look! ! !

8 1, I have been an artist for more than a week ~ ~ ~

82. There is no lobster two feet long in any stupid restaurant. Go and give me a red sesame cake.

83. Help if you are in trouble, and help if you are not. If I hadn't hit you, I would have turned my face ~

84. If I kill you, do you believe me? Never been beaten by a gangster.

85, there are tricks to cut, no tricks to cut.

86. The house we live in is full of holes. It is fatal when it rains: it rains outside the rain house, and it rains outside the rain house. Sometimes it rains so hard that the whole family goes out to take shelter from the rain.

Thank you for your encouragement!

88. I'm glad that many people came.

89. Jin Yong called to feed him with PHS? Hey! Shit!

90, friends on the third floor ... hello! ! ! (hold: there is a third floor here)

9 1, I want to get married and ask for nothing ~ "The next day came. That hair, that's called white.

92. Thank you for your silent encouragement.

93. Dancers are looking for steel pipes after all.

94, Tomb-Sweeping Day map, once Tomb-Sweeping Day, those widows. ...

95. I have an army. I call them little brothers, they call me big brothers, and my chief of staff is pheasant!

96. Would you like to listen? Are you willing to listen or are you willing to listen? Pick it yourself, I will never force it.

97. Regardless of the law, I will kill him.

98. Do you have any chickens? Attendant: "shh! I am. "

99, cross talk pays attention to four lessons: pit, Mongolia, turn, cheat!

100, my watch is expensive, the original price is 350 thousand, and the discount is 420…

10 1. I never work outdoors. I am synonymous with chastity and virtue. I follow the chastity memorial arch everywhere I go.

102. What do you want, sir? Stop asking and fry this!

103, do you care? Did I tell you? I can't do this with you!

104, not only do you have to collect money for colds and coughs these two days ~

105, there was an opportunity to make money before me, but I didn't cherish it. The opportunity passed and I regretted it. If God gives me another chance, I want to say to the village chief: I am willing to go. If I have to put a limit on that salary, I hope it is: 400 yuan.

106, just when I was uncomfortable, I saw my girlfriend, with her boyfriend.

107, when it was only 400 points away from Shanghai University.

108, don't even like the slag river? You forgot your roots! ! !

109, if I were a bitch, I would have fallen in love with me.

1 10, at most, you are the naked replacement of male No.9 …

1 1 1, teacher, just follow the old lady.

1 12, Gorky Education We said, "Don't do this."

1 13, would you like to be my next 1 ex-girlfriend?

The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear.

1 15, love listening or not, don't listen to death!

1 16, wrangling earns more than fighting, doesn't it?

1 17, bought a bottle of mineral water and took a sip-fake! ""How fake? It's watered!

1 18, the father of xx. ...

1 19. If I don't harm others, I will contribute to society.

120, I am a scientist, a scientist with a way.

12 1. Let's go out. Let me show you my tattoo. Have you ever seen a B club with a crayon tattooed on it?

122, I am so happy that my teeth are almost broken!

123, the sky is falling, and Wu Dalang is alive to make money!

124, I don't bully people, I can't bully people. People who scold me always turn off the lights at night, put them on the bed, draw the curtains, sit in front of the computer, type two lines and eat three quick fixes. I am not an artist, and I can't revitalize cross talk. This is the cause of cross talk all over the world. At most, I am shaking, or my mobile phone is on the table.

125. On this day, I came to the railway station with prejudice, and all the tickets were sold out. Beth walked up to a policeman and asked, "Do you know where the ticket scalper is?" When the policeman heard the music, he said, "I'm still looking!" " "

126, I am not afraid of difficulties. There is no word "difficulty" in my dictionary. I don't have a dictionary ... there are no words in my dictionary.

127, I don't have a pot, but I will stew you.

128, "What is the secret of your success?" "It is nothing more than using the world where others drink coffee to drink beer."

129, a dung truck passed by their house and had to go out to taste salty water.

130, clap if you don't speak well. Look how fine the weather is today. No one applauded.

13 1. I want to commit suicide and plan to jump off a building. I have studied this kind of jump. The second floor is different from the twentieth floor. The second floor is "pa" and "ah", and the twentieth floor is "ah ~ ~ ~".

132, hello, my name is Degang Guo. Can you guess my name?

133, medium rare steak, across the board ~ poof ~ blood spilled all over your face ~ cut blood vessels.

134, it takes a lot of effort to say cross talk, and I'm sweating. You watch others not sweat, people are raised.

135, with an English name, Erbaldy.

/Mr. kloc-0/36, please respect yourself! We are just Mai people, not artists!

137. Lie down where you fell.

138, take to the streets to recruit hooligans.

139, my fence is big, 20 miles on one side, the four sides are equal in length, and it is a big rectangle.

140, I was so angry that I scolded him severely: I'll get out of here for you. (anxious mouth is not neat)

14 1. Deyun was once hard to get a ticket, and the audience lined up to buy tickets under the guidance of the conductor.

142, two news, one good news and one bad news. Which do you want to listen to first? "bad" The bad news is: we are lost! Can only eat cow dung! "What's the good news?" The good news is: more cow dung!

143, Confucius said: good cabbage was arched by pigs.

144, people who don't know Yu Qian have never eaten pork.

145, hooligans know martial arts, and no one can stop them. Scientists know martial arts at home, and hooligans can't stop them.

146, one more, what are you talking about? Say something practical.

147, thank god for giving me braised pork. Who took it away for me when I opened my eyes?

148, Kara is a dog, I wrote it, and I plan to write another one: Yu Qian is a pig.

149, ok! This plane, like Dafa, has a rocking glass! ..... sitting on a big hat, Li Xia didn't give the newspaper ... Tianjin didn't make a big hat, but they all went to the United States ... and flew to the United States for half a year, adding more than 40,000 oil.

150, I don't often watch legal online (I don't know who I'm hurting)

15 1. Bush has a secretary named Wang Fugui.

152, I stopped the woman who robbed on the road. I didn't know it was a laid-off worker until I asked. The more you say it, the more pathetic it becomes. Finally, I gave her five dollars.

153, we all drove back to Beijing. Teacher Yu is taller than us. He looked down on us when we were driving, so he rode back.

154. How did you break the lock of the prison? Corn steamed bread