Humorous and interesting phrases

Tell you a secret, please look at the back first, then at the left, then at the side, okay, please don't look around with your mobile phone!

I called you just now and answered that the user streaked and couldn't get through; Call again, reply: the user has rushed out of the service area.

Cold remedies: lean your head against the door frame and close the door hard until you feel dizzy and have a slight congestion, and the cold can be cured.

How painful it is to be apart. Your leaving will make me feel at a loss. I really want you to live with me, but ... Mom said, "There are no pigs at home!" "

Tips for self-test of vital capacity: After farting, lower your head and inhale fiercely, and then observe whether people around you smell strange smell. If so, you must strengthen your exercise according to this method; If not, then prove that you are superman!

When I was down and out, you were by my side; You were by my side when I was sick and injured; When I am frustrated in love, you are still by my side ... it's bad luck to be with you.

When you walk into a deep and narrow canyon with a bow and arrow on your back, you find a wolf in front and a ghost behind. Excuse me: Do you shoot wolves or ghosts?

The first ray of sunshine in the morning is my deep blessing to you. The last blush of the sunset is my heartfelt greeting to you: "How are you, fool?"

Don't think that I have forgotten you. At critical times, such as today, you are my first thought.

Miss you, always in such a time and place will be so strong, you always pay everything silently, and I always treat you as garbage after I finish? Throw away toilet paper.

You are a little aura, I am a little stupid; You are a little delicate, I am a little rustic; You have a little aroma, I have a little smoke; If you are angry, I won't lose my temper.

There are many women around, all of whom are elder sisters; Occasionally there are exceptions, and it's also a bad date. There are too many bachelors around me, and I am hungry all day; I want to say a few words of comfort, but I don't know what to say.

Love you for10,000 years, keep your eyes on money; If you want to see me, remit 10 thousand yuan quickly

Report commander, your wife is in Taiwan Province Province, and once Taiwan Province Province is liberated, your wife will wet the kang! Commander, your wife will be born as soon as she develops in Taiwan Province and Taiwan Province provinces!

A fat man weighed himself, but the scale didn't respond. He came down disappointed. The scale suddenly said, to maintain the machinery, please don't stand two people at a time. Thank you for your cooperation.

No matter where you go, your colleagues will follow you, but this is purely out of strong curiosity.

It annoys me to think that my beloved girl is married, her doll is as tall as a dog, and I am still single.

When you made a little money, you gambled all your money. When you see a beautiful girl, your eyes shine, and your wife is reluctant to slap you.

[Skill expert] I have such a bright line at the foot of my bed that you have no money to hold back. Look up at the beauty, bow down and be sad. 0.08

Your smile is sweet, your anger is lovely, you are the most beautiful in my eyes, and you are the best in my heart. Touched, right? Pig, 0.08

Congratulations, the message you just received will be recorded in the history of world communication, because it is the first message paid by the receiver, and the price is 1 10,000 RMB! 0.08

[Deception expert] Part I: Fake cigarettes, fake wine and fake friends; Bottom line: false feelings, false feelings, false gentleness. Horizontal batch: Qian Shi 0.08.

[Deception expert] People can't fall, and they have to draw a million dollars to borrow money. Fainting is better than fainting. Whether a person is beautiful or not depends on his thighs; Whether he can do it depends on the head shape of 0.08.

[Skill expert] You paid all your wages, including those without plans; All leftovers are contracted, including spoilage; Kill all housework, including mother-in-law's; I have a thought report every day ..... 0.08.

[Skill expert] You grew up lacking calcium and love, wearing a sack, a lid on your head, shorts, a belt, a bare waist and a tie. Who dares to love such a glorious image! 0.08

[prankster] Four little pigs are sitting on the ground, and suddenly one is missing. And that little pig, reading the text message! 0.08

[Skill expert] Horses and donkeys run when they meet tigers and turn around. The donkey ran very slowly, and the horse shouted, "Stupid donkey! How can you run fast with a mobile phone in your hand! Throw away the phone quickly! " 0.08

[Unique expert] A found that B had a new watch: Where did you buy it? This is a prize, how did it come about, a race with two people, who are those two people, a policeman and a man who lost his watch.

Give me three seconds to show up, or I'll let you know my shoe size: 0.08.

[Unique expert] Urgent reminder: There may be lightning recently. When you go out, please put your mobile phone on your head, plug in the charger and drag it behind you for lightning protection. Remember 0.08.

[Unique expert] Extraordinary good news: One-way charging of mobile phone has been opened. Operation method: put the mobile phone into the pot and bring it to a boil until the words "One-way charging has been successfully started" appear on the mobile phone.

[Skill expert] The other day, I looked at your sexy body, twisted naked in front of me, and gently stroked your skin. I can't resist your temptation: boss, I ... 0.08.

[Unique Skill Expert] You are very virtuous-there is nothing at home, you are a beautiful girl-a moldy girl, and you have an affair with me-an unshakable friendship!

[trick expert] Abandoned? Being bullied? Homeless ... Don't forget, even if people all over the world don't like you and ignore you, at least we. ..............................................................................................................................................

[Skill expert] I live like this every day: playing ball with Jordan, boxing with Tai Sen, playing chess with Wei Ping, having an affair with Clinton, bombing buildings with bin Laden and sending messages to pigs.

[Unique expert] Since ancient times, who didn't have shit and who didn't use paper for defecation? If you don't use toilet paper, are you using your fingers? 0.08

[Unique Skill Expert] It is said that after the Tang Priest and his disciples got the true scriptures, Sanzang was reincarnated as the underworld boss, Wukong became a fashion model, Friar Sand became a university professor, and Bajie became a mobile phone messenger ... 0.08

[Unique expert] Urgent reminder: At 9 o'clock tomorrow morning, there will be a tornado in the southeast of the city. It is expected that there will be money and things such as mobile phones, banknotes and gold coins. Please be prepared to get rich.

[Unique expert] Men's love is family, women's love is duty, men's playboy is talent, and women's playboy is nameless. 0.08

[Skill Expert] I took Ekin Cheng in my hand, pedaled Deric Wan, crossed Zhao Benshan, crossed Rosamund Kwan, crossed Pan Changjiang and came to Stephen Chow ... 0.08.

[Deception expert] Men will not admit that they are "dissolute" in drinking, but will only say that they spend money on drinking. 0.08

[Trick expert] My left ear is Rona's ear and my right ear is Liwa's ear. Who can match 0.08?

The so-called "great fortune in misfortune" means that when your friend lives in a sand or radiant steel house, you are a snail without a shell. 0.08

[Unique expert] On June 7th, a couple of stars appeared. Before it appears, kiss the person you love for 2 minutes. When it appears, hold his or her hand and you will be happy forever. 0.08

[Skill expert] Let me blindfold you quietly, gently put a watermelon skin under your feet, and then watch you step on it happily. 0.08

[Unique expert] "Doctor, my cell phone signal has been bad" "Really? Let me see, oh, I can make a phone call while running in the future! Just fine! " 0.08

[Trick expert] Bin Laden wore a suit instead of a beard. To avoid suspicion, please grow a beard and wear cheongsam from now on! 0.08

A: I wrote a pair of couplets. The first couplet is "the most handsome in the world", and the second couplet is "Marshal Tian Peng". What is the second couplet? B: I'm a pig!

Let me tell you a secret. Please look at the back first, then at the left, then at the side. Okay, okay, please don't look around with your cell phone, okay?

[Skill expert] Silence, blindness, no food for three meals, weakness of limbs, improper facial features, denial of six relatives, ignorance of seven things, prestige on all sides, sitting quietly for nine times, very useless 0.08.

[Unique Skill Expert] A person loves our motherland very much, even his name is "patriotic", but the only regret is his surname ... Bu! 0.08

[Deception expert] Blind date is "distribution", love is "direct selling" and throwing hydrangea to attract relatives is "bidding". 0.08

[Unique expert] People get married because of lack of judgment; People also divorce because of lack of endurance; People remarry because of lack of memory. 0.08

[Unique expert] A woman has been worried about her future life until she finds a husband; A man never worries about his future life until he finds a wife.

[Trick expert] If you love someone, you have to say it bravely. I love you forever! Please tell my mother that I've wanted to say this for a long time. 0.08

[Unique expert] Purple smoke rises from Rizhao incense burner. Li Bai came to the roast duck restaurant and his mouth watered in thousands of feet. He felt in his pocket, but there was no money. 0.08

[Skill expert] You are handsome, you are handsome, you have cabbage on your head, you are handsome, you have kelp around your waist, you are handsome, you step on the pot cover. 0.08

Hello, dear friend, Christmas is coming, please wait for me in the park, and I will come to give you a gift at 0.08 in the morning.

[Trick expert] When a person often claims to be "not a fuel-efficient lamp", it means that he needs to "refuel more". 0.08

[Trick expert] In love, some people "die as if they were dead"; In marriage, some people "feel dead." 0.08

[Unique expert] Send roses before marriage, romance is not wasted; Sending tofu flowers after marriage is practical and affordable. 0.08

[Unique expert] If marriage is the grave of love, then the annual wedding anniversary celebration is to sweep the grave. 0.08

In my mind, my father is the fiercest. He often beats me black and blue. At school, my teacher is the fiercest. He often keeps me until seven or eight.