It's really stupid to have problems communicating with customers, speak carelessly, pay no attention to occasions and offend people. Can you be tactful?

When communicating with others, we should pay attention to leaving room for speech. For example, in conversation, it is always necessary to praise the other person. You should pay attention to your words. The ultimate goal of praise is to make the other person feel that you really admire him. Using empty and unrealistic compliments will make the other person feel that you lack sincerity. If a public relations officer receives a member of the public in a warm and friendly way, he gets the evaluation that "your reception is really pleasant, and your enthusiasm has left a deep impression on me", which is obviously much more impressive than the compliment that "you are the most enthusiastic person in the world". So praise should be moderately excessive, and flattery is almost disgusting. Especially for superior leaders, it is even more inappropriate to say something flattering in social situations. If you are talking to the younger generation or people with lower status, don't despise it, and don't speak in a cold tone. Although the other party's status is low, you should respect it. You should leave room for what you say. In order to make the conversation more open and the friendship between the two sides stronger, we can use some humorous language or tell some jokes appropriately. Humorous language is both interesting and meaningful. If used properly in conversation, it can not only enliven the atmosphere, but also enlighten people's thoughts, attract the audience and communicate with others better. But there is a limit to everything. Humorous language and jokes vary from person to person. Time, place and occasion should be divided and measured. For example, some people like to laugh at other people's physical defects and shortcomings, especially between men and women. In fact, this can not only show your wit and humor, but also show your frivolous and boring. You know, elegant manners are based on two principles: friendliness and consideration for others. This "humor" that exposes shortcomings is too harmful to people, not only immoral, but also not necessarily beneficial to themselves. Therefore, we must pay attention to the discretion and leave room.

In today's society, you will inevitably encounter more and more complicated difficulties. Either you invite others, or others invite you, so whether you invite others to do things, promise others to do things, or refuse others, you should pay attention to leaving room for your own words. In addition, there should be room for praising people, criticizing people, mediating troubles, resolving contradictions, coping with embarrassing situations, adjusting dissatisfaction, and even assigning tasks and reporting work.

As an employee, you will leave no room for yourself when you are finished. Not only will you step down the stairs, but if your prediction or suggestion is wrong, you will leave yourself in midair, unable to get up or down, and I don't know what to do. The worst thing is to leave a bad impression on the boss. Anyone who talks too much is bound to show extreme character. Those who are extreme are basically unwilling to compromise and lose the opportunity to be flexible. Even if there is no problem getting along with the boss, the boss will agree that such employees will have many negative effects when dealing with other colleagues and customers.

Things are like chess, every game is a new beginning, and the situation will change rapidly. If you don't anticipate this situation in your words and deeds, you will often embarrass yourself and your opponent, so you must guard against it. It is one of the most necessary conditions in modern business environment to be able to learn to leave more room for speech actions and be flexible.

A clerk once said to the boss, "I'm sure this brand can't be sold in our department store, or I'll resign." As a result, the goods were like wheels, which not only embarrassed me, but also scared my boss.

Buildings should leave room for green trees, flowers, sunshine and air. Paving the road, every time you walk a certain distance, you should leave a room called contraction line; So as to prevent the pavement from expanding and cracking. On the expressway, every mile, a space should be set aside on the roadside for emergency parking and maintenance of broken vehicles. The cunning rabbit has three caves, leaving room for escape; Do not forget to lose power when gaining power, and leave a way out. Wealth does not forget decline, wealth does not forget decline. Even if you are worldly, you should leave room for grievances.

When others are in trouble and need help, don't treat them coldly, and don't promise at once. The most effective way is to know the relevant situation clearly before making a decision, and don't do everything yourself, let alone violate the law and discipline, harm the public and enrich the private interests, and destroy your image. If you know the real situation and have the conditions to help, you may not be able to help, so leave room for your words, lest you lose your face and the trust of others if you can't help. If you don't have these conditions, tell them frankly. As long as you have an honest mood and words that conform to the facts, others will understand you. Of course, you need to apologize when you say it.

Xiao Zhang has a distant relative and asks him to help them get their wages back. However, Xiao Zhang is really refreshing. He agreed at once and said, "I'll take care of this and promise to get it back for you." Who wants to be deducted by the contractor? As a result, Xiao Zhang posted a lot of money

Similarly, when talking with people, leave room, that is, if you are not absolutely sure, don't be too sure, which is also a kind of tact. Everyone knows that soft and elastic things can avoid or reduce the collision or extrusion between objects. The same is true in interpersonal communication. If communication has a certain degree of "flexibility", it can ease the contradictions between them, eliminate misunderstandings between them, and leave room for deliberation before making a choice, so as to better achieve the purpose of communication.

People always communicate with each other by language. In some specific contexts, people's speech should be flexible, up and down, wide and narrow, and back and forth, which requires a certain degree of "flexibility" in verbal communication. In this way, it is conducive to mastering the initiative of communication. In communication, you will often encounter this situation. For example, if someone talks to you about something, but you are not completely sure, then you should express your views in an uncertain tone and leave yourself room for manoeuvre. Especially in the complicated and changeable situation, such a statement has the effect of watertight. In addition, we can make use of the extensiveness and fuzziness of some words to make them flexible. For example, when a man is in love with a woman, others ask him what he thinks of that woman. If he is introverted, he can try to say, "I am deeply impressed by her as a whole." The meaning of the word "impression" here is broad and vague, and there is no clear boundary between "profound" and "profound", which makes your attitude "flexible" and leaves room for further communication in the future. In interpersonal communication, the strategy of "flexibility" is widely used, so you need to constantly learn the communication skills of "flexibility". As long as you master the skills of "flexibility", you can come and go freely in communication with ease.

No matter how talented you are, please give yourself some space and give others a step. Sometimes, for a trivial matter of no value, the two sides can't argue. At this time, as long as there is room for a person to talk, it can completely let him come down from the retreat, and no one will be hurt. Everyone is still as usual. If you are too observant, you won't have any friends. You must leave room for moderation. Therefore, it must be a wise man to leave room for everything.

Zhongshan is a small country. On one occasion, the monarch of Zhongshan hosted a banquet in the backyard to entertain hundreds of civil and military officials and discuss state affairs. At that time, there were many people, and it happened that a general had no seat. The monarch said casually, "Because there were many people, I just squatted without a seat." The general thought to himself: after all, he is a general, but he let himself squat down. He felt embarrassed, so he forged an indissoluble hatred in his heart. Later, the general went to other kings to persuade him to attack Zhongshan. Zhongshan was quickly breached and the king fled abroad. When he ran away, he found two men following him with Ge. He asked, "What are you doing here?" The two men replied, "Once upon a time, there was a man who found his life again because of your encouragement and support. We are his sons. My father told us before he died that no matter what happened after Zhongshan, we should try our best to serve the king, even at the cost of death. " When Prince Zhongshan heard this, he sighed and said, "Hatred doesn't matter how deep it is, but whether it hurts others' hearts. I died because I said something I shouldn't have said, but I got two just men because of an encouraging word. "

People's self-esteem is better than money. If a person loses money, it is tolerable. Once his pride is hurt, he will never let go easily. Many times, this is unintentional speech, but it makes the other party think it is intentional injury, and may even set up enemies for themselves. Caution in words and deeds seems necessary. In real life. We often encounter things that we can't give in to take care of each other's self-esteem. What shall we do and then leave some room for others, just like playing Go. "Winning one eye is winning, and winning a hundred eyes is also winning." As long as you can win, why let others lose the game? For example, it is good to argue with others and refute each other with rigorous debate, but there is no need to refute each other to pieces. Doing so is not only not good for yourself, but even will be countered by the other side.

In Han Fei's "Say Lin? There is a sentence in the next chapter: the way to carve, the eyes are small and the nose is big; The nose can be big or small, big or small. The same is true of an event, because it cannot be repeated, then it will be defeated.

The main point of craft wood carving is that the nose should be big, the eyes should be small, and the nose carving can be made smaller. If the carving is made small from the beginning, there is no way to remedy it. Similarly, the eyes should be small at first, and they can be enlarged when they are small. If you enlarge your eyes at the beginning of carving, you can't shrink them at the back.

To criticize others and leave room is to give people a chance to turn over a new leaf. Praising others for leaving room is to leave people with the motivation to continue to go in. Playing the piano and singing, lingering sound; Send a rose and leave a lingering fragrance in your hand. There is room for manoeuvre in running water, which will reduce disasters; Rivers have room to fluctuate so as not to be submerged.

When talking with people, leave some blanks in your words, leaving room for both sides to seek common ground while reserving differences. This way of communication is flexible, in line with human rationality and easy to achieve good results. Otherwise, if you don't leave yourself room to speak, it will be easy to block your own posterior path, but it will be easy to freeze. Here, the blank is a lubricant, not a step.

Pay attention to the occasion when you speak

Situation is the touchstone to measure a person's speaking discretion. Just like a normal person finds his pants unzipped in front of everyone, he subconsciously turns around and unzips them. The discretion of speaking occasions should always be integrated into the subconscious mind of normal people. Coupled with the mastery of speaking occasions, it covers too many mysteries and even countless secret passages, which are not as simple as the zipper of pants. But if you don't pay attention to the occasion, just hurry up, or swear, or pour out, the result will be as easy to make a fool of yourself as pulling your pants in front of everyone!

If you say that you are sad when you are holding a wedding in someone else's house, this is the most taboo; When people are sad, if you tease this child, tease that child, say something funny, or even hum folk songs, people will say that you are too naive. A colleague's father died, and relatives got together to discuss the aftermath. His father ordered the burial before his death, but it was a bit unrealistic, so everyone talked about it and expressed different views. Only his son said, "Tell you what. The old man died, but he was either buried or burned. " Now that the body is at home, people always come and go. In my opinion, burning it will be over, saving money and trouble. "People present were very angry about this, but they couldn't scold or fight. That occasion is not an occasion to teach young people a lesson. If he is a young man who can talk, he will choose something suitable for the occasion and atmosphere. He can say, "I'm sorry that my father left." "Now, the body is in the house, so we have to deal with it quickly. Dad wanted to be buried before his death, but it was impossible. I think it's better to arrange cremation quickly. I am a junior, so I'll give you some consideration. Please make up your mind. " If so, it will appear that he is very sensible and filial. Pay attention to the occasion when you speak, see where you are and what you choose to say. If you say something carelessly, it will cause a lot of embarrassment.

When I was a child, adults always told me: when you go out, you must pay attention to what you say! Why do adults always emphasize these things? Because "going out" has to face many different occasions, and speaking on those occasions is not as free as speaking at home. In interpersonal communication, once the conversation between the two sides enters the theme, it is easy to go all the way along the inertial thinking, thus forgetting that "words are like arrows, you can't send them indiscriminately; As the old saying goes, "it's hard to pull it out once you hear it." "This is the main reason why those conversations quarrel or break up in discord.

In an institution of higher learning, an old teacher who worked for decades retired. To this end, the school held a farewell party for him and another retired veteran comrade who won the title of "advanced" many times. Comrades and leaders attending the meeting enthusiastically and appropriately affirmed and praised their work and people. In contrast, they value this award-winning veteran comrade as "advanced". When it was the turn of two popular retired veteran comrades to answer, they expressed their deep gratitude for everyone's praise. For a time, the venue was filled with an emotional and warm atmosphere. As a thank you, the words should have stopped here; But the old teacher didn't stop, but was moved by people's praise of another "advanced" and made a rather inappropriate association and play: "Speaking of advanced, unfortunately, I haven't got it once ..." Before the words were finished, a young teacher sitting next to him who didn't get along well with him on weekdays suddenly stopped talking: "No, it's our fault." There is an unforgivable and embarrassing "sting" in the words. Suddenly, the corner of the old teacher's eye was "stabbed" with a sad expression, and at that time there was an awkward atmosphere of sullen displeasure in the venue. When a leader saw that something was wrong, he immediately took over the conversation and tried to ease the atmosphere. According to the truth, at this time, he should not mention the topic of "advanced" and should not say anything else. However, he repeatedly comforted the retired old teacher and told him not to care about the issue of "advanced". Saying that he does not evaluate advanced does not mean that he is not advanced enough. Advanced is not only in name, but also in fact, and so on. A word is equivalent to repeating and extending the topic that should have been avoided, making the already embarrassing situation even more embarrassing.

Pay attention to the occasion when you speak. Talking casually and saying whatever comes to mind regardless of the occasion is a poor performance of "not being able to speak". People always live in a certain time, place and condition. In different occasions, facing different people and things, starting from different purposes, we should say different things and speak in different ways to get the best speech effect.

A large company recruits female employees, and the number of job seekers is endless, but it has not been able to recruit suitable female employees. One day, Miss Zhang went to apply for a job and was soon taken by the manager of this company. The manager asked him to go through the relevant formalities at once. Surprisingly, Miss Zhang asked a really shouldn't-have-asked sentence on the occasion of the big wedding: "Can I come to work after the holiday?" As a result, the manager said that she would no longer be employed. Miss Zhang was full of doubts and asked for an explanation, while the manager hid in the office and never came out. Soon after, Miss Zhang's cell phone rang. Just now, the manager's voice came, saying that she shouldn't say anything more, and frankly, "Our company will never hire employees who say inappropriate things in inappropriate occasions." Although this company has gone too far, it is left to Miss Zhang to think that if she says something inappropriate on an inappropriate occasion, she will lose her job! Whether you are talking or asking questions, you should choose the right occasion and grasp the discretion.

You don't pay attention to occasions and discretion. It would be foolish to just say what you want and speak freely. In other words, the corresponding relationship between occasion and speaking discretion lies in understanding. What to say and what not to say on any occasion is not necessarily true, but it must be true.

A court tried a theft case, and the defendant could not explain the time of the crime. In order to verify, the presiding judge decided to summon the defendant's wife to testify in court. Due to excessive anxiety at that time, the presiding judge blurted out: "Bring his wife up!" "

There was an uproar in the court, and the serious atmosphere was diluted. At that time, the presiding judge will announce in court language that "witness XXX will appear in court." Because the court language was replaced by everyday language, that is, the presiding judge did not pay attention to his own situation, resulting in improper speech.

As the saying goes, "it is better to speak beautifully than to speak appropriately." Appropriateness here means that what you say should be suitable for the occasion and the object. In interpersonal communication, what people pay attention to and are interested in is not necessarily the content expressed by the language itself, but more importantly, the effect of the combination of words and their situations.

The time and environment of speaking have great influence on the meaning of speaking. The same language expression can express different meanings in different environments. For example, "It's nine o'clock." The mother said this sentence to the child lying in bed, which means, "Why don't you get up?" A girl said this to the young man coming at the gate of the park, which means, "Why are you late?" The customer said this to the doorman of the store, which means, "It's time to open the door. It's time for us to go in."

In the Ming Dynasty, after Zhu Yuanzhang became emperor, a friend from the countryside came to him and said, "Long live your Excellency. At that time, I drove across Luzhou Prefecture and broke Guanzhou City. Marshal Tang was at large and took General Dou, and Hon Hai 'er was the governor, thanks to General Cai. "

Zhu Yuanzhang was ecstatic. In retrospect, I vaguely remember that his speech seemed to contain something from the past, so I immediately made him a big official.

Another friend heard the news. He thought, "I was a playmate at that time. Since he went with an official, I'm sure it won't be bad luck if I go? " So, he also went. Seeing Zhu Yuanzhang, he said brazenly, "Long live your Excellency. Do you remember? Once upon a time, you and I looked after cows for others. One day, in Luhuadang, we boiled the stolen beans in a crock. Before it was ready, everyone scrambled to eat it, breaking all the cans, spilling beans all over the floor and soup in the mud. You just grabbed beans from the ground and ate them, and accidentally put red grass leaves in your mouth. Leaves stuck in your throat make you laugh and cry. Or my idea, that you take the green leaves in your hand and swallow them, and then swallow the red grass leaves into your stomach ... "

Zhu Yuanzhang thinks he is too inconsiderate. Before he finished, he repeatedly shouted: "Push it out and chop it, push it out and chop it ..."

Speaking appropriately is an art, and only by adapting to different language environments can we achieve the best expression effect. "Pay attention to the occasion when you speak" is to remind you to pay attention to the time, place and surrounding conditions when you speak, and not to violate or exceed the restrictions imposed on you by specific circumstances. In interpersonal communication, we should pay attention to the occasion when we speak, which is an inviolable law and cannot be ignored.