Thanks to Jia Ling's sketch and the nanny's script.

Jia Ling and Bai Kainan's The True Story of Nanny

Female; Hello, everyone. Recently, I received a TV series, saying that I should play a nanny. You said my image. Can I be a nanny? (Under the stage,,. , like)

Who said anything about insulation pipes? If you want to be like me, you must be like a safe. Can manage money. Just kidding, get to the point, this is not the day when I come to the labor market to experience the real nanny life. Well, someone is coming. .....

(Singing: I can only sing a poem with my heartfelt love to tell you that I am a nanny. )

a； Hey, you said that the bus to work is blocked every day, and the children are too young to breastfeed. My career has just begun. Nobody cooks at home.

Female; Find a nanny

a； It's hard to find a nanny now. It's better than finding a good wife. You said there was no nanny, but who did?

Female; hum

a； Many people are looking for him, but the man is at the corner of the toilet. You are a nanny.

Female; Hmm.

a； Alas, the vast sea of people, all sentient beings, we met unexpectedly. This is really ...

Close; Fate.

a； That's you. go to

Female; Wait, wait, wait, wait. What are you doing? I am engaged in a legal industry.

a； Hey. I'm surprised. Listen to your accent.

Woman: Whatever you say, big brother. Where are you from?

a； I come from Guizhou. Where are you from?

Female; I come from Hubei.

Close; Oh, honey. We are old (not fellow villagers)

a； It doesn't matter if you are a fellow villager. But I tell you, today I was going to spend 500 yuan to find a nanny, but today I saw your image and your temperament. I'll still give you 500 yuan for your style.

Female; I thought it would be a long time. Ha ha laugh

a； Go or not.

Female; Let's go

Female; But what are you doing in your house?

a； Is to replace my daughter-in-law

Female; what

a； Is to take care of the elderly and children instead of my daughter-in-law

Female; oh

a； Okay？

Female; No problem.

a； Let's go

Female; Hey.

a； 500 yuan. (Interrupting a woman; All right. ) eat control. We will take a taxi in the park.

Female; Big brother has a taxi there.

a； Oh, no, we played three rounds.

b； Oh, honey. Now the nanny market is really awesome. A nanny was robbed by several people. I have to hurry. Sister, hey. I said, elder sister, let me ask you for a while. Do you know where there is a nanny in this Gazi?

Female; Oh, my God. I'm a nanny.

b； Oh, my God. You are a nanny.

Female; The nanny is wearing a costume.

b； Sister, listen to you. You are from the northeast!

Female; God, you are from the northeast.

b； Not from the northeast, you are from the northeast.

Female; I'm from Fuxin, Northeast China, and you? Who are you? Where are you from? (male b). I'm here, I'm here) Think about it, where are you?

b； You mean mine.

Female; You are Jiamusi's

b； I'm not from Jiamusi. I'm not from Jiamusi. I come from Anshan.

Female; That's not far.

b； We are fellow villagers.

Female; Of course.

b； Brother asks you, will you take care of jiaozi?

Female; Mom, big brother, from the northeast, just say what stuffing you like.

b； Northeast gentleman sauerkraut.

Female; Mom, a pure master like you is rare in Northeast China.

b； That's true. Will package jiaozi, go to the eldest brother's house, and the eldest brother will hire you.

Female; Hey. No, no, no,no. Big brother, big brother.

b； What's the matter?

Female; Just got hired.

b； Employed by someone, who is it,

Female; Right over there, pouting

b； He, you hired that thing. You have to say how much it cost.

Female; What about 500?

b； It's really difficult to pick up Big Brother's house. Big Brother will give you the number.

Female; Oh, my God, 600.

b； What eyes? It is 600.

Female; Then he is

b； 5 15

Female; Dude, you are so smart. Go with you.

b； Let's go

a； 600

Female; 600。 600 again. 600.

b； 6 15

a； 700

b； 7 15

a； 1000

b； 10 15

a； 2000

b； 20 15

a； 3000

b； 30 15

a； I don't live in our three-bedroom house. You lived for a month without doing anything. This is another 5000.

b； Stop.

Female; Haha, you.

b； Brother, do you need security at home?

a； What's the matter with you?

b； Dude, that's what happened. Let me explain. Nannies are hard to find. We are employers.

a； correct

b； We can't let him lead by the nose.

a； That's right.

b； You ask him.

a； Ah, yes. Hey. Where the hell are you?

Female; My mother is from Hubei.

b； Look at that.

Female; But I'm my father. I'm from the northeast.

b； Oh, my God. And a half-breed.

a； How do you prove that you are a nanny?

b； That's right.

Female; certificate

b； Abalone town.

a； Tudou town

b； Hua Lian Town, Qijiang District, Chongqing City, China

a； migrant worker

b； Nanny certificate level 4.

a； Oh, my God, I have a high degree.

Female. hello

b； What's the use of a high degree? What could it actually be?

a； Oh, yes. What do you do at home?

Female; Then I can do a lot. I will do all the housework, such as sewing, washing clothes, buying coal and electricity.

b； Gee, this is just what I want.

a； Brother, brother, modern nanny That is the quality of all aspects. Ask him what he is good at.

b； Yes, what's your specialty?

Female; have

b； Say it.

Female; I'm embarrassed to say

b； hello

a； Then what are you embarrassed about?

b； Tell me what your specialty is.

Female; My nails are very special.

a； What are you hiding from?

b； I'm afraid she'll arrest me.

a； You are good at not cutting. Just ask him what talent he has.

b； What gift do you have?

Female; Talent, talent.

a； What meeting?

Female; Yes Recite poems.

a； Oh, yes. Carry one.

B: Come on.

Female; Quiet night thinking. Li Bai. The foot of my bed is shining so brightly. Is there frost already? . Looking up, I found it was moonlight. I sank again and suddenly remembered home. thank you

a； Too, too deep. It's really hard for you to spoil such a good poem.

Female; Dude, what do you know? It's called performance art

a； No, other than that. You're kidding. Anything else you can do, just let me know. (b) add words; Right)

Female; I can eat and sleep. You can play

Party A and Party B; (ah)

a； I'm not looking for a wife.

b； You can't find a wife like this. Yes

a； be

Female; Misunderstanding, misunderstanding, I mean I can bear hardships. Can put the child to sleep. You can play cards with the old man so that he can eat and sleep. You can play

a； Oh, really. What I need is a nanny like you.

b； Who do you need? Who hasn't? I need it too.

a； Hey. Brother. I saw it first.

b； Are we fellow villagers?

a； We are.

Female; All right. .. eldest brother, you chose me. It's a two-way street now. I must also choose you. What can you teach me?

a； Sister. You told me before. I'm ready for you.

b； I've arranged it for you.

a； Come to our house. I ask my father to teach you the piano for two hours every morning.

b； Come to my house and I'll ask my mother to teach you to draw for two hours.

a； I asked my daughter-in-law to call you English.

b； I asked your sister-in-law to teach you fashion design.

a； Hey. I will teach you to feed your pet myself.

b； I'll teach you beauty and hairdressing myself.

Party A and Party B; I, I, I, I, I, I.

Female; Stop. Here's the thing. You two have talked for a long time. Show me some real skills.

a； Real skills

b； I will do it.

a； Ah (action) Sichuan changes face.

Female; Big brother. Big brother. What is this? These are monkeys, gibbons, orangutans, orangutans, and I like orangutans.

b； Hmm. (action)

Female; What are you? Monkeys, gibbons, orangutans, so this is

b； Female orangutan

Female; You two are a couple. I like orangutans.

a； Starlight, a star

b； Star or star?

a； The stars light up my door.

b； String the stars of you and me together. String a lucky grass. String a concentric circle,

a； We ordinary people. I am very happy today.

Female; In my opinion, they are experiencing life.

b； Stars, stars, stars are all stars. .......

a； It's all the fault of the stars that makes you fall in love with me.

b； Xi Xing Xing Xi Xing Oh Oh. ......

a； I have many stars. ......

b； I have many stars. .....

a； I have more than you.

b； I have more than you.

a； I have more than you.

b； I have more than you.

The host took the stage. .....