If a girl's job is to drink with her boss and accompany her clients, and go to ktv to sing and dance with her clients. Can you really accept such a girl as a wife?

working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and pay attention to your health. But you always say meaningfully, "If you don't roll more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in winter?"! ！”

2。

there are some things you should know! Days are used for windy and rainy days; Land is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove the greatness of mankind. And you: "It is used to stew vermicelli. ！”

3。

Don't get drunk again. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a wine glass and shouted, "Are you a brother?" Brother did it! ！”

4。

I am a lonely tree, standing by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just for one day when you walk by me, I will fall for you, and it will be in vain if I don't smash you.

5。

If autumn leaves, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If I leave, I'll let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are not bad!

6。

I know you pay attention to hygiene, and you should wash your hands every time you go to the toilet, and wash them carefully. Suddenly you didn't wash your hands. I was surprised: Why didn't you wash your hands? You replied, "I brought paper this time! ！”

7。

it's a pleasure to miss you; It's a great pleasure to meet you. Loving you is what I will always do; Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing; However, lying to you just happened.

8。

Every day, I pray to the Buddha for a long-lasting blooming rose, and when it reaches 999, I will give it to you together and say emotionally, "Little son, I don't believe that the attracted bees won't sting you! ！”

9。

It is reported that a few days ago, Iraqi armed forces hung a jade photo of you on the wall of Baghdad, causing a large number of American soldiers to vomit and die. After investigation and evidence collection by the United Nations, it is confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction, so run away.

1。

Couples in western countries are always getting divorced, because their lover is a little baby. Look at the elderly under the moon in China. They are full of experience, so the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. China is more permanent. Carrot respectfully handed the business card when he saw the customer. The customer looked at the business card and asked, Why are you called Korean ginseng? The carrot has a small waist. "People are haha!"

11。

Today, when you wake up, there is a mosquito lying beside your pillow, and there is a suicide note beside you: I have struggled all night, and your thick skin makes me ashamed to live in this world! Lord, forgive him! I committed suicide.

12。

Someone saw you today, and you are still so charming. You are walking slowly in a plaid vest, and you look so detached and comfortable. It's really cute. I don't know how you competed against rabbits in those years.

13。

In one year, a man wrote more than 8 love letters to his girlfriend, and as a result, his girlfriend finally announced that she was getting married. The groom was the postman who sent these letters to her.

14。

The hairdresser was chatting while shaving the guest's face. He was so busy that he didn't pay attention to shaving off the guest's eyebrows. The barber asked: Do you want to keep your eyebrows? Guest: Stay! Barber: Alas! Why didn't you say so? It's shaved off!

15。

husband: honey, I was fired. Because of a little thing, it's so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after work last night. But they don't want to think, who dares to steal a tiger!

16。

"Do you know why men like to have long hair like ladies these days?" "Because, if your lover or wife finds long hair on their clothes, he will smile and say,' This is my hair!' ”

17。

You were practicing in a mental hospital, and suddenly a psychopath came after you with a kitchen knife. You turned around and ran until you reached a dead end, thinking it was over. The patient said, "Here's your knife, it's your turn to chase me!"

18。

a player can't catch the ball steadily. While practicing passing and catching the ball, another player gave him a good ball. He was afraid that he would not catch it steadily, so he shouted "Catch it steadily". As a result, the ball hit him on the head and he only heard him say "Who with?"

19。

When you are lonely, a pencil may be your best plaything. You can cut it, cut it, cut it with a small knife, and at the same time, you can vent yourself and shout loudly, "I killed the pen, I killed the pen, I killed the pen!" ！”

2。

The sky is so clear, the sun is so bright, and the sea is so boundless. You are standing on the blue beach, and I stabbed you with a stick: "Hey, this little bastard, his shell is quite hard! ！”

21。

On the first day of the obstetrician's practice, his wife asked him, "How was today? "The doctor said" was not too bad. Although the mother and the baby were not saved, the baby's father was finally saved.

22。

In the military training under the tree that year, the instructor said to the students: Count off in the first row. You looked at the instructor in surprise, and the instructor said loudly again: "Count off! So, reluctantly, you turned around and hugged the tree! ！”

23。

Your voice came from the valley. I looked down and found you at the corner of the mountain. It was you! It is really you! You were with an old man, and I excitedly ran over and said, "grandpa, borrow the donkey!" ！”

24。

seedless watermelons have been successfully developed, and they frequently participate in various celebration meetings and reports, which has unlimited scenery. Other watermelons are very envious. One watermelon is indignant: What is beautiful? There is no next generation.

25。

When the camera and mobile phone are fighting, a camera comes running excitedly: Report to the chief, grab a mobile phone! When the camera head looked at it, he was angry: Why did you catch our undercover? This is a mobile phone that can take pictures!

26。

you know what? I really want to take you out to experience the charm of ktv! Do you know what ktv is? That's K for you, T for you, and finally I'll make a V gesture!

27。

The moment I left, your helpless crying and heartbreaking pain behind me made me suddenly understand how much I love you. I suddenly turned around and cried and hugged you: "I'm not selling this pig! ！”

28。

it is said that the arrow has a golden arrow. Iron arrow. Copper arrow, you must learn from silver arrow! It is said that there are 18 kinds of 36 moves in martial arts, but you must learn drunken arrows, so soon you appeared in the Jianghu: "drunken silver arrows!" ！”

29。

The first time I saw you, I felt that I had known you for a long time. I never said anything so sure, and you may not believe it, but it's true. You really look like my ... lost pig!

3。

God said to grant me one wish, and I said to want world peace. He said it was too difficult to change it. I took out your photo and said to make this person more beautiful. He pondered and said, "Take the globe and let me have a look again! ！”

31。

I saw you the other day, and you were sitting in the sun, so uncomfortable. I asked you what you were doing, and you smiled mysteriously: Keep your voice down, and no one will call me an idiot when I get tanned!

32。

The tortoise and the rabbit race, and the pig is the referee. Do you think the tortoise runs fast or the rabbit runs fast? One day when I came home, four children were making noise. My wife was glad to see me back. "You finally came back." I was also glad to think that the children were afraid of me. Who knows that the wife went on to say, "Only you are obedient and good at home! Go and buy me a bag of salt "

33.

You are about to travel to other places, and sincere friends will see you off. The cold wind can't stop our friendship. I hold your hand and say, "Make a good reform and try to reduce your sentence! ！”

34。

listen! I want to chase you! I thought you were! It's you I've been looking for! I will definitely take this opportunity! I must catch up with you! Dead flies!

35。

Dear, I miss you again. My love for you is increasing dramatically every day, because someone told me that pork has gone up in price, so you can get a good price!

36。

The defendant promised his defense lawyer: "If you have the ability to make me go to prison for only half a year, then you will get an extra reward of 1OOO." As a result, he finally got his wish. The lawyer said while collecting money, "This is really a tough job. The judges originally wanted to be acquitted."

37。

in those days, we walked quietly on the path in our hometown, and you hung your head shyly. When the villagers saw us, we all praised you: Hey, it's beautiful and clean! Also praised me: good boy, come out to release pigs at such a young age! ! ”

38。

oh! It's snowing I really want to become a snowflake and fly into your arms. I flew into your collar. Fly into your cuff. Fly into your ... Why didn't you zip it?

39。

A group of male hippos crossed the river at the risk of being eaten by crocodiles and courted the female hippo. After crossing the river, they found that all of them were castrated by crocodiles, but only one survived. The only one explained: You are stupid. You are all breaststroke, but I am backstroke.

4。

"Do you know? My husband was injured in the table tennis final. " "But no one has ever seen him play?" "yes. He broke his vocal cords while watching the game. "

41。

when someone passed by the cemetery and heard the knocking, he fell down to see someone, so he was relieved and asked, why? Answer: "they carved my tombstone wrong and are changing it!" ！”

42。

honey, do you know? You've lost a lot of weight recently! I see it in my eyes, but it hurts in my heart. It's almost the Spring Festival, but your health is worrying ... Who doesn't want to let his pig kill a few kilograms more!

43。

some people say you are a pig! I seriously criticized him! How can that be? How can people say what they look like? Monitor: What is the purpose of your martial arts? A Qiang: To keep fit! Brother Meng: To serve our country! Private: In order to crack women's self-defense. . .

44。

All the cocks chase the hen, and the cock's eyes are red and silent, and the hen is moved. Newly married, hen: You are so cool. Why didn't you scream at that time? Rooster: I drank too much that day ... I was afraid of vomiting.

45。

A girl walks into a bar and says to the owner, "I'll do anything for you if you pay 2 yuan." The shopkeeper said, "OK, you paint the walls here."

46。

please stop looking down and turn it off. There's really nothing to see. Please, do you really want to see it? No regrets? Well, you asked for it yourself. You're a pig!

47。

Jade Emperor: Now there is a trial in heaven to hear the case of the Jade Rabbit of Er Lang Shen's roaring dog Q B Chang 'e, and call the defendant! Hey! Whistling dog! Calling you! Still reading text messages! Still smirking!

48。

There will be a meteor shower tonight. I heard that there will be a big pig flying from the sky. It's a pity that I want to sleep. You will be fine. There are so many people watching you fly! You make clothes out of white clouds, borrow the right wings from birds, and you fly in front of me like an arrow, telling me-this is what a bird man looks like!

49。

John went to sign up after seeing the advertisement for lifeguards in the swimming pool. The owner of the swimming pool asked John what he was good at, and John replied, "The swimming pool is 2 meters deep. 1 meter, I am 2 meters tall. 17 meters. "

5。

a drop of water is small in the ocean and great in the desert; The red-crowned crane is small in the crane group and great in the chicken group; You are small in the crowd and big in the pigsty

51.

do you know that I met a retarded person yesterday? I have never seen such a stupid person? As for how stupid it is? Let me tell you this, he may be lower than your IQ!

52。

I don't care if my hair grows, I don't wash my clothes when they are dirty, my beard is messy, and I don't look like a man or a woman. I don't sleep until noon, and I never want to raise my hand. Who? It's you!

53。

please touch your little red face first, and then touch your little belly! Ok! This lecture on pig raising knowledge is over. See you tomorrow!

54。

I vomit when I drink too much, cry when I am sad, climb a tree when I drive, and I can't move when I see a beautiful MM. I always feel that I almost earn money, and my feelings are always not improving!

55。

Today is your birthday. All ladies' toilets and bathrooms are open to you free of charge. Welcome! You make clothes out of white clouds, borrow the right wings from birds, and you fly in front of me like an arrow, telling me-this is what a bird man looks like!

56。

Yesterday, I made a bet with my friend. I said: There is nothing more stupid than a pig in the world. As a result, I lost, so it was all your fault!

57。

ah! Your skin is so shiny and your fragrance is so irresistible. Let me bite you hard, my dear-braised pork.

58。

There is a tacit understanding, a feeling of wonder, a happiness of being with you, a longing of longing, and a fool will finish reading the short message.

59。

I wish you good health and lose all your teeth! Bon voyage, missing halfway! Go all the way, fall halfway! Happy every day, often abnormal! Laugh often, laugh anyway!

6。

An electrician walked into the operating room and said to a dying patient wearing an oxygen mask: Hello! Listen, take a deep breath, I need a power outage for five minutes!

61。

Strange, strange, strange, strange. Seven turtles are dancing, six lions are playing chess, five monkeys are eating pears, four donkeys are chasing Shu Kei, three mice are patting level three, two crabs are playing Tai Chi, and a little pig is reading information!

62。

A pig and a penguin were kept in a refrigerator at -2℃. The penguin died the next day, and the pig was fine. Why? You don't know? By the way, pigs don't know either!

63。

Are you Alian? ! Let me see: three inches of golden lotus, four inches of silver lotus, five inches of copper lotus and six inches of iron lotus-wow, one foot and two inches is Lotus! ! ”

64。

do you know? I dreamed of you last night. We walked by the river and snuggled up to each other. You looked down into my eyes and said three words affectionately: woof woof.

65。

A group of swallows pecked mud under the eaves to build a nest. After the nest was built, the swallows shouted on the roof. The children in the courtyard were curious and asked their father. Father replied: Alas, the contractor hid and didn't pay others.

66。

The cricket toots, and the spider asks you why your voice has changed. Cricket: I have a cold and the dial tone is wrong, so I can't get on. Then the spider suddenly fell. Cricket: Huh? Broadband is also disconnected?

67。

mother: "In my opinion, my child is really a child prodigy. He has many unique ideas, isn't he?" "Yes, madam, especially when memorizing new words. ”

68。

Please go to the nearest telephone pole and shout "My illness is saved!" to the wild advertisement above. A lady went to take a snapshot. Go after the filming.