Cck recruitment

Characters:

Recruiter (Gong Li): Female, seductive and indifferent.

Applicant:

Jackie Chan: Plain and smooth.

Andy Lau: Handsome and straightforward.

Location: Star Company Recruitment Site

Time: 8 am

Props: a table, three chairs, signs: star company recruitment, a rag, two handkerchiefs, two light bulbs, a fan, two combs (one big and one small), a star (one red and one black) and a lady's handbag.

Scene: The table and two chairs are arranged in eight rows. Put a chair behind the table, a light bulb in the table and a simple pen and paper on the table.

-Female: wearing trench coat, sunglasses, ladies' bag, music: Wenli Magic Mirror Station in Taichung.

Woman: [Leng] The job fair of Star Company is about to start, but Yam Tat-wah's brother and girlfriend, the manager, have gone to dinner, and Jacky Cheung's brother, the personnel minister, has something else to do. Brother Dahua said, Xiao Li, you take the lead first! Brother will invite you to dinner later ... Look, I'm coming! [Looking back, sitting in the chair behind the desk] I don't know what bird came today. 007,008! Cut [throw paper balls]

-Shangliu: Suits and shoes.

Liu: You said this person, it was agreed that the job fair would start at 8: 30. Look, it's already 7: 60, and people haven't come yet, and I don't know why. Hey, I said, what's wrong with you? [Stand aside]

-Shang Cheng: Suit tops, casual bottoms.

Cheng: (on the phone) I'm going to give presents!

Liu: Did you send a gift? Didn't Yam Tat-wah say that he wouldn't give gifts this year?

Cheng: I gave it to his girlfriend!

Liu: How much do you want to send?

QvoNW, find cckIn's net.

-Cheng saw Liu, called Liu, and Cheng took Liu.

Liu: How much did you send? [cutting]

-Shoot again

Liu: Can't you see someone calling? [See Success]

Cheng: Don't use your mobile phone!

Liu: (answering the phone) How much did you send?

-Give me three fingers.

Liu: 3 yuan? [Unbelievable]

Cheng: Thirty thousand.

Liu: Isn't that the end?

Cheng: No problem.

-Two people dancing,

Schreiber: It's 8: 30 in the morning.

-two people look at each other, take out a comb, spell, cut hair.

Female: 007,008

-two people throw away the comb, shouting slogans to the chair.

Woman: Sit down.

Both of them: Yes, madam. [Sitting]

Woman: Relax, relax, relax. ...

-two people pry up their legs and find that they are in different directions. Replace them.

Woman: Yes, that's right. Now the job fair has begun ...

Liu: Huh? Yam Tat-wah is a woman?

Woman: (striking table) I'm the Minister of Personnel. ...

Cheng: Is Jacky Cheung a girl?

Woman: I'm Gong Li, the secretary of the Minister of Personnel.

Two people are the same: huh? Isn't that a free gift? [Pour wine]

W: The job fair will begin now. [They sit again] 007!

Liu: Yes.

Female: Name

Liu: I come from three places across the Taiwan Straits. I'm handsome and confused. I'm all red. Everyone loves Andy Lau [take out a fan, pose].

Female: Graduate school.

Liu: Peking University.

Woman: Say the full name.

Liu: Beishantun, Daliang Primary School

Woman: Is this also called Peking University? ! incision

Liu: It's Peking University!

W: Why do you want to join our company?

Liu: I want to be a dazzling star. I want to be popular all over the country, including Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan, Europe and America, Latin America and Asia-Pacific. I want red and purple, and purple and black.

Woman: superficial, young people now, alas! 008

-Liu helplessly sat down.

Cheng: Arrive [walk leisurely to Taichung]

Female: Name

Cheng: I just punched the nursing home and kicked Jackie Chan, the star of the kindergarten generation.

Female: Graduate school.

Cheng: Square [Young Pioneers Joining Ceremony]

Woman: Huh?

Cheng: A door bed to comfort children with congenital mental retardation.

Woman: [Sighs] IQ.

Cheng: 28[ proud]

Why do you want to join our company?

Cheng: [brewing feelings] In order that everyone on the earth has clothes to wear, everyone has food, food and clothes to wear, so I'm here! [God descended to earth, cross]

Woman: (dismissively) You also promised that Halley's comet would not hit the earth!

Cheng: I can assure you! [As he speaks, he retreats to his seat and looks at his biceps]

W: Next comes the second question, the talent show. Andy Lau.

Liu: Today I will give you a password [Look at the actors, this line is subject to the last scene] [Speak slowly]. You can stew my frozen tofu, so you can stew my frozen tofu. If you can't stew my frozen tofu, don't stew my frozen tofu, because it's all rotten!

Woman: Is the password as distorted as you? Just say it.

Liu: [Repeat, fastest]

W: Well, that's more like it, 60 points.

—— Liu Guizuo

Female: 008

Cheng: Today, I bring you a flower-swaying song. Tears come from the grass, and Chang 'e's sister Jade Emperor hugs and cries. It can be described as a song that makes the gods cry. [Singing, Bel Canto] Swallow, wearing a flowered skirt, [Children's voice, flying] comes here every spring. I asked the swallow why you came, and the swallow said, [to a woman, grinding an orchid finger] The girls here are the most beautiful.

Female: 59.99 points

-sit down helplessly.

Woman: We entered the second level of luck, [three people together-yeah! ]

Woman: (suddenly involved in a mysterious way) Today, let's play a little game. I play the manager of a company, and you play the salesman and sell light bulbs. [Taking out the light bulb from the table] Remember, this kind of light bulb consumes a lot of electricity, has a short life and flashes from time to time. But I want you to sell it at a high price. Are you Rhett?

Two people are the same: yes! [Go to the table, ring the doorbell, and the woman moves the chair to the stage and sits down, turning it into tenderness]

Woman: Please come in.

The two of them: [Bow, every time the woman returns the gift] Manager, [Bow] Hello, [Bow] We are from [Bow] Light bulb company.

Cheng: (taking out the light bulb) I hope you can buy our light bulb.

Woman: OK? Light bulb? [Near Liu]

Liu: Manager, you don't know something! Our light bulbs are exported to Britain, America, Russia, France, Germany and Italy. Our products are used in the Great Hall of the People, the Kremlin Climate Center and Palestinian refugee camps in slums in Africa. Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Bush, Putin and Blair all took my light bulb.

Cheng: Do you know? 9. 1 1, the World Trade Center collapsed! But there's still something glowing inside, and that's our light bulb.

W: Is your light bulb that good?

Liu: Our light bulb is the choice of rich people like you, whether it is power consumption or life!

Cheng: Another feature of our light bulb is that it shines like a star. ...

Liu: Give your company a gorgeous atmosphere and give your room a warm feeling.

W: But why should I buy it?

Manager Cheng (hands the light bulb to Liu, holding the orchid finger in his hand), listen to me (while crying, he takes out a rag to wipe his tears and shakes his woman). It is not easy for him to make money these days. I sell rice to women, iron to women, blood to get you a light bulb, and sell it to you, manager! [Squatting, crying]

Woman: [Touched] How much is your light bulb? [Recover immediately, throw away the rag, signal Liu, and fasten the light bulb]

Liu: [He took out his handkerchief and shook it at the woman, singing "Husband and wife both go home"] Since ancient times, light bulbs have been in pairs, and 200 yuan is not expensive.

Woman: [The action is the same as Liu Tong's, and the tune is the same] Just two small light bulbs. How about less?

Liu: If [you at the same table] can't pass Yumen Pass, give me at least 130 yuan.

Woman: (continuing Liu's tone) Is Wanshui Qian Shan always short of ten dollars?

Voice-over: At this moment, a meteor crossed the sky.

[Doing the action of a meteor, accompanied by the sound of "brushing"]

Liu: [Look at the sky, then, "Meteor Shower" tune] accompany you to watch the meteor shower, [bow your head, white] I said, no, no.

Woman: Well, forget it.

[Explosion, voiceover: According to reliable reports, a missile flew over our airspace and exploded in Iraq]

Cheng: (anxiously) Manager, think again. Our light bulbs are cheap and hard to use!

Woman: Huh?

Liu: [After filming] No, no!

Cheng: (taking another step forward) Our light bulb is not cheap and doesn't work well!

Liu: (pulls his hand back) Wrong again! Look at me. [Step forward] Manager, [They smile at each other] Our light bulbs are neither cheap nor easy to use!

Woman: You two can't even tell a lie! [angrily returns to his seat]

Two people are the same: it can be seen that we just can't lie!

[Female cell phone rings, pick it up.

Woman: [Arrogance] Who is it? [Gentle and sweet] Brother Dahua, well, here they are. That Jackie Chan [before becoming a man] is honest, but not very good-looking. That Andy Lau, [Liu steps forward to pose], is quite handsome, but a little silly. [Two Sads] I was just about to send them away! What? Gifts!

Both of them: saved! ! !

W: Well, no problem, no problem, ok, ok. Bye. [Telephone kissing, two people vomiting]

[To two people] You two, [two people approach] Starting today, you are officially employed as the marketing personnel of the star company. This is the contract.

Pass the contract, two people sign it, and then hug each other and cry.

Two people together: we finally succeeded! ! !

Woman: [takes out the light bulb] Star brand light bulb, light up the world!

Two people are the same: huh? Light bulb company? [slumps in a chair]

Woman: [Put on a trench coat and sunglasses and walk to Taichung] There are two million light bulbs here. You can sell them out in a week. Come and see me this time next week. [Music plays, women play]

Two people: [Despair] Two million! [glances at each other and walks to the table to pick up the light bulb] 2 million, selling light bulbs, who buys light bulbs? Who will buy a light bulb? ..... [under Hawking]

[End]

Is the batter out?