Find a set of jokes

Funny Quotes 1. "Double Choice"

Go to a job fair and submit your resume when you see the booth. One of the booths was really unavailable, so I directly applied to the one recruiting the vice president. The recruiter looked at me and said, "Do you think we can trust you if we hand over this company to you right now?" I said, "There's nothing to worry about. We have a two-way choice!"

Funny Quote 2. "We don't want notebooks"

When I came to the job fair, I handed over a thick stack of carefully crafted and laser-printed resumes religiously. The other person's words knocked me to the bottom: " Sorry, we want resumes, not notebooks!”

Funny Quote 3. “Are you hiring or not?”

A company offers a lot of benefits, and the booth is crowded with people applying for jobs. were directly rejected. A man fought his way through the crowd, squeezed to the table, waved his fists and shouted: "Are you going to attack or not?"

Funny Quote 4. "Learn skills from the barbarians to defeat them." ”

When I applied for a job at a foreign company, I was asked why I chose the company. By some strange coincidence, I said, “Learn from the foreigners and use their skills to defeat the foreigners!” and I was kicked out on the spot.

Funny Quote 5. "Boss, are you looking for a part-time worker?"

Although I only want to be a part-time worker, I have to dress appropriately when I want to find a job in the largest talent market in Beijing. Be decent! Don't make a fool of yourself in public. So I put on a suit and tie, polished my leather shoes, and hit the road. When we arrived at the talent market, we saw a sea of ??people and an airtight atmosphere. I didn't squeeze in, thinking: "With my conditions, finding a part-time job will be a piece of cake!" So I waited, waited, and when the sun went down, no one came to recruit me. Seeing that I was about to lose my chance, a man came over quickly. I quickly arranged my hair. As long as he asked me, I would agree to any conditions.

He came over and said only one sentence: "Boss, do you want to recruit workers?"

Funny Quotes 6. "Are you from a famous university?"

In November last year, I learned that a news system talent recruitment fair was held in Shanghai, so I rushed there non-stop. In order to avoid getting wrinkled in my suit on the train, I hung the clothes stays in my hands. When I arrived in Shanghai, I found a restroom, put on my clothes, fixed my hair, and went straight to the job fair. There were more than 20 resumes in the bag and they were handed over one by one. Unexpectedly, the other party looked at my resume, looked up blankly and asked me: "Are you from a famous university?" I really wanted to tell her about the glorious school history of nearly a hundred years, but under the spotlight, I disappeared in despair. .

Funny Quote 7. "Afraid of not being able to retain"

A female classmate is so good that we feel ashamed, but she had the worst experience of applying for the job and was repeatedly rejected. Student union cadre, published several papers, won scholarships every year... Such an outstanding student failed repeatedly. Each of us was puzzled, and she herself didn't understand: What are the current selection criteria for the unit?

Once, she finally couldn't bear it anymore and called her work unit to ask about the reason for rejection. The other party was very calm: "We're afraid we won't be able to retain such an outstanding student like you! Besides, if you go abroad in a few days, we will waste a recruitment quota."

Funny Quote 8. "Tiao A small person cannot tolerate a big Bodhisattva."

I went to a job fair with my classmates. They applied for the same company, but they didn't seem interested. After he came back, he complained, saying that the girl in charge of recruitment was blind and could not see his strengths.

I sneered: "People are well-informed, how can they not see your strengths? It's just that they think your strengths are not strong enough..." He was stunned for a moment, and then retorted: "Don't you have the same result?"

I answered calmly: "Why am I the same as you? Didn't you hear what they said to me in the end?" I cleared my throat: "They said: "A small temple cannot accommodate a big Bodhisattva!" "

Funny Quote 9. "Tell a joke! ”

A famous entrepreneur personally hosted the interview. I handed in my resume nervously. The entrepreneur didn’t ask anything else. He just said: “Tell me a joke!” "I choked for a long time, and finally came up with a joke about parrots: "A man went to a pet store to buy a parrot. The shop owner said to him: "We have three parrots. The blue one can speak four languages. It costs 1,000 yuan. The red one sells for 1,000 yuan." The one that can speak six languages ??is sold for 3,000 yuan. The yellow one can't speak and is sold for 5,000 yuan. "How can it be like this?" The man shouted, "It can't do anything!" "That's right," the shop owner said. He explained, 'We don't know either, but the other two call him Boss.'" After I finished speaking, I turned blue, knowing in my heart that this time it was over again!