What does "three obedience and four virtues" mean?

Three obedience and four virtues is one of the ancient customs in China, and it is a general term for "three obedience and four virtues". "Three obedience" means that a woman does not marry from her father, but from her husband, and her husband dies; "Four virtues" refer to women's virtue, women's words, women's appearance and women's merits.

If you don't marry from your father, you marry from your husband, and your husband dies from your son. It means that girls should listen to their parents' instructions before getting married, and don't contradict the instructions of their elders at will, because their social knowledge is rich and has fundamental guiding significance; After marriage, you should be polite to your husband, keep a house and practice with your husband, respect the old and love the young; If the husband unfortunately dies before himself, he should stick to his duties, find ways to raise the children and respect their philosophy of life. "Obedience" here is not "obedience and obedience" on the surface, but "assistance and assistance".

Morality, speech, tolerance and work. In other words, to be a woman, the first thing is morality, and you must be able to hold your head high; Then "speak", be knowledgeable, have the right words and language; Secondly, "capacity", that is, appearance, points out that entry should be dignified and steady, not frivolous and casual; Finally, "work", that is, the way to run a family. The way of running a family includes details of life, such as taking care of the elderly and children, and being thrifty.

Extended data:

1, "Three Obediences and Four Virtues" is a feudal ethical code that oppresses and fetters women, and it is a normative requirement for women's morality, behavior and cultivation in life to meet the needs of patriarchal clan system and safeguard the interests of patriarchal clan system-in-law (nation) according to the principles of "different inside and outside" and "men are superior to women". It is also the standard for men to choose their wives. Although three obedience and four virtues are of great significance to ancient women, they have not adapted to the development of modern society and do not conform to the core values of socialism.

2. With regard to the "three obedience and four virtues", we should first see that these requirements and norms for women came into being in a specific era, out of certain needs, and also changed with the changes of society. Over time, under the overall cultural framework of Confucianism, "three obedience and four virtues" emphasize "obedience from the father" and also need obedience from the mother; It is emphasized that as a husband, a wife is also "equal to her husband."

Especially the promotion of "filial piety culture", the filial piety of sons to their mothers, especially to their widowed mothers, is unique in China. Today, if we can put on new contents of the times, such as paying attention to the "virtue" of civilized etiquette, paying attention to the "words" and "merits" of talent and creativity cultivation, and paying attention to proper modification without deliberately putting on makeup and beauty, it is also of great reference significance.

References:

Baidu Encyclopedia _ Three Obediences and Four Virtues