What are the customs and habits of having a drink in Guangzhou?

If you marry a chicken, follow the chicken, if you marry a dog, follow the dog. In Guangzhou, you should act according to the customs of my hometown. As the saying goes, when in town, do as the Romans do.

Banquet wedding, negotiation on etiquette, gifts, red envelopes, dowry, etc.

(1) Proposing marriage using cake sheep, albizia, Jiahe, glue paint, live chicken or flower cloth. ---"Leading Chicken" means good luck.

(2) Big gifts

The pre-wedding rites are the most solemn and important. The bride price, betrothal gift and dowry mutually agreed upon by the two families must be fulfilled on this day. On this day, the groom's family will fill food trays and baskets with various betrothal gifts prepared in advance, stick them with red cypress and pick them up or carry them, and then the groom's sisters-in-law will carry them to the bride's family in a grand manner. It is common for a man to give a whole pig or a whole sheep as a "gift". Therefore, there are lyrics in folk songs about "giving a pig a big gift". Pancakes are also a must-have, they are "big pancakes". There are more than a dozen types of pancakes. Depending on the conditions and the level of extravagance of each house, there are one to several types of pancakes. There are also roasted pork, chicken, etc. , goose, duck, fish, steamed cakes, etc.

When the bride’s family receives the gift from the groom’s family, they immediately send the originally planned dowry to the groom’s family. Mainly for daily necessities, the more common ones are clothes, quilts, pillows, mats, etc., as well as wardrobes, dressing tables, suitcases, Baxian tables, bedding supplies, refrigerators, televisions, rice cookers, etc.

The "gifts" are usually held on the day before the wedding, and the atmosphere is very strange and festive. The sisters-in-law who give gifts are usually dressed in fancy clothes, with new tops and bottoms, and walk on the crowded roads. Tell each other happy news along the way.

(3) Picking up the bride

Generally, it includes three steps: making a room or conservatory, personally welcoming the bride, and returning home, which lasts for three days. The first day is to make a house or greenhouse, the second day is to welcome the guests, and the third day is to return home. Huizhou's customs are different. The wedding basically refers to the two stages of welcoming the bride in person and staying with the bride. As for welcoming the bride (that is, picking up the bride), it mainly includes making a house, welcoming the bride in a sedan chair, spreading salt and rice, and stepping on the fire. Several major customs include concave railings.

1. Building a house

Building a house is an old custom that continues to this day. Building a house is a custom in which the bride's aunts and sisters help decorate the new house after the bride's family sends a dowry to the groom's family. Pay attention to two points. First, pay attention to the orientation and feng shui of the beds, cabinets, dressing tables, etc. The most important thing is that the wardrobe mirror cannot face the bed. The mirror is synonymous with "looking at the demon", and it is obviously unlucky to look at the bed with the mirror pointing at the demon. Second, the person who builds a house must have a "good fortune". Folks believe that the main criterion for a good fortune is "more children and more blessings". Therefore, widows, infertile women or women with few children are not allowed to participate in making houses, while those with many children and good fortune are naturally the main participants in making houses.

2. Flower Night

The day before the bride gets married, the sisters-in-law and sisters in the clan (must choose the so-called lucky ones) will specially dress and dress the bride. This is what the folks call "flower arrangement". This night is also called "flower arrangement night" in folk customs. It is a very solemn ceremony for the bride before her wedding.

When performing this ceremony, the bride often cries and sings. When the bride faces a major turning point in her life, she is usually very emotional. The bride will cry sadly and stay up all night, which shows a traditional wedding. A "happy and sad" atmosphere.

3. Floats welcome the new year

Drumming all the way. After arriving at the bride's house, the bride's sisters refused to enter the door. The groom hurriedly handed out "good things" to the bride, and after passing through the sisters, he could take the bride out. The bride cried and refused to leave. The groom's family used both soft and hard tactics to coax her out of the boudoir and coax her (forcibly) into the car. The groom even had to seal a "good fortune" to the driver of the car.

4. Spread salt rice

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When picking up the bride, some salt, rice, black sesame, etc. are placed in a container in advance, and they are scattered along the way to pick up the bride, which is said to be a sacrifice to the bridge god; and those scattered along the road are to sacrifice to the road god. .

The custom of spreading salt and rice is actually a variation of the custom of "throwing grains and beans" in China's traditional marriage customs. "Throwing grains and beans" is mostly a custom in the north and is not common in the south.

5. Covering the head, stepping on the concave railing and crossing the fire

When the bride arrives at home, the groom holds a fan to fan him. Bamboo containers), sieves and other objects are used to block the bride from seeing her directly.

It is believed among the people that the bride is blessed with good fortune and has strong murderous intent. The groom uses a fan to "weaken her murderous intent", and the groom avoids her, which is said to "avoid her murderous intent". In some places, when the bride gets off the sedan chair, the groom uses a concave rail (a kind of container made by the chief editor) to block the back of the bride's head. According to folklore, every married woman must be filial. Even when she gets on the sedan chair and arrives at the groom's house, she must turn back three times every step. The groom's railing is to cover the bride's sight of constantly looking back. It is very famous. This practice is to Let the bride focus on marrying into her husband's family and not think about her natal family all the time.

In addition to the custom of covering one’s head, there is also the custom of stepping on a railing. As soon as the bride gets off the car, the groom’s family hurriedly lays a concave railing in front of the bride’s feet for the bride to step on. There is a folk saying of "stepping on the concave railing and turning around the nest (concave)", which is very famous. This is to allow the bride to concentrate on being a cow and horse in the "nest" of the groom's family after passing the wedding.

When stepping over the concave railing to enter the house, it is customary to ask the bride to step over the fire. Even if there is no special brazier, some old people will grab a handful of grass and burn it at the door for the bride to step over. This custom is called "crossing prosperous fire" in the north. There are also places where cross-carbon fire is used, which is a relatively long-standing folk custom. He had two intentions. One is to take the word "prosperous". After the bride steps over the prosperous torch, she will bring "prosperous fire" to her husband's family the next day. The other is to take the word "avoid", which is mainly to avoid evil worship. Folks believe that there are two sources of "evil". One is that at the time of marriage, there are so many spectators, among whom there are inevitably some people who have family funerals or illnesses. Folks believe that they have evil spirits in them. Huizhou claims that these people have evil spirits. With "simmering (taboo)"; another evil source comes from the bride herself, the woman's body is "dirty", which is an old traditional Chinese concept.

Although it means "vigorous fire", it is mainly to ward off evil spirits. The grass, silk grass, picka and other things burned in the brazier are all traditional Chinese things to ward off evil spirits. Especially "Wang Cao" and "Apply Medicine", they are both protective medicines used by people to ward off evil spirits.

6. Holding candles

After picking up the bride and before the bride enters the bridal chamber, the boys will carry the candles to the bridal chamber and place them there. Folk songs also sing: "Hold the candle and carry it to the bride's room. It means the end, or the innermost meaning."

If there are more brothers among relatives), the bride will be picked up by the wedding team (the candles have been held at this time), and the candles will be taken directly to the bridal chamber to be placed there. This should be because the custom of worshiping children is unbearable. A boy with many brothers is used as an introduction to light incense for the bride and the beauty, and then the family will be filled with descendants.

7. Drumming for welcoming the bride

The whole process of "picking up the bride" is usually filled with drumming. The "Gong and Drum Cabinet" mainly features gongs, drums, cymbals, and cymbals, accompanied by suona. The drum band played back and forth with the wedding procession, adding to the festive atmosphere.

(4) The delayed bride

After the bride arrives home, she first worships the ancestors of heaven and earth, worships her parents in the hall, and serves tea to the patriarch of the family in turn. This is called "drinking bride's tea" And the elders should return the "profit" package to wish the newlyweds good luck and good luck. After the ceremony, it's time to have a big banquet and "wine with the bride."

After the wedding banquet, people rushed into the new house eagerly. The first thing is to "eat the bride's tea and smoke the bride's cigarette". According to the rules, the bride has to pour tea and light cigarettes for everyone one by one. At this time, people often fill the room with boiling hot tea to deliberately burn the bride; they also blow out the fire of the bride's cigarettes intentionally, leaving the bride at a loss; then, The bride is also asked to walk across a long wooden bench a few inches wide, which is called "crossing the overpass". The two ends of the bench are prone to tilting, and the middle is only a palm wide, making it wobbly when people walk on it. Some troublemakers even deliberately break the legs of the bench in advance to make the bride fall off the bench. As for asking the bride and groom to bite candies and saying obscene words to the bride, these are common things. The further down you go, the more chaotic the order becomes. Some secretly use thorny objects such as pine needles to prick the back of the bride's neck, or spray pepper on the bride's face and push her left and right. The sisters-in-law who came with the girl's family tried their best to encourage and support her, but to no avail. The bride also forced a smile, but her face was covered with sweat and tears. This behavior of teasing the bride often extends until late at night.

The habit of "listening to the house" is also part of making a new house. It has been passed down from generation to generation, and the legacy of this marriage custom can still be vaguely seen today.

(5) Returning home after three dynasties

On the day after the wedding, the bride gets up early to serve her family and greets visiting relatives, friends and neighbors during the day. On the third day, she prepares gifts early in the morning. The groom and his wife went back to their natal home to visit their parents together, saying, "We are going back home." It is a very particular etiquette among Huizhou’s traditional wedding customs. If proposing a bride, fortune-telling, settling down, announcing the date, and having a grand ceremony are the pre-wedding rites, and welcoming the bride and staying with the bride are the wedding rites, then returning home from three dynasties is the wedding ceremony.

The return of the three dynasties is closely related to the ancient custom of "beating a son-in-law". The book "Xiyang Zazu" records the custom of "beating the son-in-law" in the Southern and Northern Dynasties: "On the day when the son-in-law pays homage to the pavilion (the house where the woman lives), the women of the husband's family gather, and each enjoys beating the son-in-law with a stick. "The one who is too tired."

Also known as the "sluggish groom", it is similar to the customs of "beating the son-in-law" and "playing with the son-in-law" from the form to the content. According to Huizhou custom, the first thing a newlywed does after arriving at the Yue family is to meet the parents-in-law, and then meet all relatives in the clan one by one. When meeting the sisters in the clan, they often start to "lag behind the groom". According to traditional customs, when the bridegroom goes to the four directions of the ancestors of the in-laws and the house of the in-laws, the sisters can make noises from the side, or let the groom bow several times without letting him get up; or let the bridegroom kneel frequently without letting him stop. Some good people will drag the groom to a chicken coop or a pigsty, saying that they want the groom to worship the chicken coop god or the pigsty god, but in fact they are teasing the groom. If the groom refuses to obey, the sisters will enforce the law to force the groom to obey.

After the greetings, the Yue family hosted a banquet for the son-in-law. During the banquet, the father-in-law and the elders in the clan would ask the groom to answer some questions and difficult questions. They said they were testing the groom's talents, but in fact they were trying to embarrass the groom. At this time, the nosy sisters would follow the example of the "sluggish bride" to tease him. The groom makes the groom miserable.

Although the "delayed groom" is not as good as the "delayed bride" in degree, the sisters-in-law's fault is always directed at the groom, which is roughly a "return" to the teasing of the bride in the groom's family.

It is a traditional Huizhou wedding custom that newlyweds return home after three visits, so the etiquette is quite particular. The first gift to prepare when returning home is a chicken, which is known among the people as the "leading chicken". It is a must-have auspicious thing. The rest of the gifts, such as fish, meat, geese, seafood, delicacies, cakes, etc. are left to their own devices. For these gifts, the man's family usually prepares an extra portion, such as two pieces of meat. After the woman's family receives the gift, it is customary to return one piece to the man's family. Others such as big oranges are also indispensable. If there are no big oranges, they must be replaced by tangerines; big oranges mean "good luck" and the girl's family will accept the gift. I also want to give it back to my husband’s family, big orange (good luck).

Except for those who are marrying from afar, for those who are marrying in the city or in the suburbs, the in-laws usually invite the husband-in-law, the bride and the sisters-in-law of the husband-in-law's family to have a meal, and then give gifts in return and return on the same day.

When I returned to the concierge, there were big red cakes and red cakes steamed by my mother-in-law, and the "leading chicken" was indispensable. Huizhou also has the custom of returning home in the first month of the wedding. When returning the gift, the mother-in-law steams a big steamed rice cake (a kind of sweet glutinous rice cake), and the natal aunt steams a glutinous rice cake.

Booking a banquet 1. Generally choose an auspicious date to get married, and usually make reservations in advance.

2. When reserving a table for a banquet, there must be clear requirements for the host's table. There are no special restrictions for other guests. Most of them are on a first-come, first-served basis or are arranged by the host's family.

3. It is recommended to arrange seats for guests in advance to avoid improper arrangements due to rush. In particular, some relatives and friends may not be on good terms with each other, or may be relatively distant. To avoid misunderstandings, it is best to systematically arrange seats and assign table numbers in advance so that guests can all sit in their own seats, and nothing is missed.

4. When booking a banquet, the name of the hall where the banquet will be held must be stated on the order to avoid complaints about overcrowding or scattered seats in the future. 5. In terms of dishes, the content of the dishes should be inquired in detail from the banquet department. Pay attention to some bluffing words, such as "Auspicious Sea Seafood" or "Dragon and Phoenix Love Together for a Hundred Years", etc. The content of the dishes should be clearly specified. Whether abalone, shark fin, or suckling pig is whole or part, must be clearly stated.

6. When booking a table, don’t forget to arrange a newcomer’s lounge and ask if there is a safe facility. The bridal room should not be too far away from the banquet place, and the area should not be too narrow. Ask if there are facilities for hanging evening gowns and ironing clothes.

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7. Clearly ask for the price of each service, such as tea, corkage fee, beer, soda, pre-dinner snacks and various total service fees. 8. Before paying the deposit, you should ask how the deposit will be handled if the wedding banquet is canceled due to bad weather or unexpected events, and whether you need to compensate for the loss. Don't forget to ask for the deposit receipt. Be clear about the amount by which the number of seats can be increased or decreased and how the remaining banquets will be handled. .

9. When budgeting for a banquet, the attendance rate of the guests should be taken into consideration to avoid embarrassing situations due to insufficient or excessive guests.

10. All charges and service scope should be clearly stated in black and white, and no verbal promises should be made.

The return gift should be returned immediately after the wedding, and at least half of it should be returned. If the person arrives at the banquet, he should go back at that time; if he is not there, he should go back later. It means coming and going, out of politeness and hospitality, and on the other hand, it means meaning, which means good luck.