2006 Spring Festival Gala sketch recruitment review 1000 words

Sketch "Recruitment"

Characters: Manager, Male A, Female B, Male C

Scene: There is a word on the blackboard: A dog in the door< /p>

Manager: The waves of the Honghu Lake hit the waves, and one wave hit me on the stage of the Spring Festival Gala. I feel a little panicked standing here. Can everyone give me another round of applause? (Applause) Thank you! I made a fortune from fried stinky tofu, and now I am planning to merge with Motorola. It is difficult to manage without talents. I have to find a way to recruit people. Take a look, do you see it? The word "I" The word I made up is actually not a word. Why did I make up this word? I just wanted to test them and see if the people who applied for the job today were honest with me. Number one!

Male A: Yeah.

Manager: Hey, man, say hello, man!

Male A: Boss, I am number one.

Manager: How did you get in?

Male A: I came in by the smell.

Manager: What does it smell like?

Male A: A smell that I am very familiar with.

Manager: Oh, so you used to fry stinky tofu.

Male A: I am a foot massager at a pedicure center.

Manager: Is this a smell?

Male A: Boss

Manager: What is your name?

Male A: Heyuan.

Manager: What’s your last name?

Male A: Surname Yi.

Manager: Summer Palace, I seem to have heard your name somewhere. Oh man, you are still a celebrity.

Male A: Oh, boss, I don’t dare.

Manager: Actually, today’s test is very simple. We will only test one word.

Male A: Oh, just test one word!

Manager: Please look at the word on the back, uh, do you see it?

Male A: See La.

Manager: So first of all, please answer my first question. From the perspective of calligraphy, what kind of style does this character have?

Male A: You can tell it’s a black body at this glance. The boss can't have such a simple problem. hey-hey. . . . . . Boss, what kind of body do you like?

Manager: I like...you don’t care what body type I like! I'm asking you what kind of character does this word mean?

Male A: What is the boss’s last name?

Manager: My surname is Liu.

Male A: That’s Liu Ti.

Manager: Then my surname is Ma.

Male armor: horse body.

Manager: My surname is Luo.

Male armor: Luo body.

Manager: This guy is a bit of a climber. I understand. Please answer my second question. What does this word mean?

Male A: What is the word? The key is to see what the boss means. Boss, this is a knowing word.

Manager: How could he understand?

Male A: Look, this is a door. There is a dog inside the door. The door is a door and the dog is a dog. The addition of the door dog and the watch dog means boss. You want to find a housekeeper. Steward.

Manager: Then what does he pronounce when you say this word?

Male A: It reads `````````Look

Manager: What, what, what? Hey, tell me again, what is he reading?

Male A: Oh boss, he wants to see ``````````.

Manager: Oops, I can’t tell, but you are still an inventor!

Male A: If the boss dares to write it, I will read it. If the boss gives me a glass of water, I dare to generate electricity.

Manager: Then what you call "the boldness of people, the wealth of land"

Male A: I can go as far as my thoughts go.

Manager: You can go away now.

Male A: Ei, where are you going, boss?

Manager: Okay, just walk forward. Don’t look both ways. The final stop is when you get home. Ha````````

Male A: Boss, I have something to say.

Manager: Ah, say it. . (Action)

Manager: Ouch, such a big bag.

Male A: This is called giving red envelopes.

Manager: I definitely don’t want a guy like A (Male A), because he might use my money to speculate in stocks. Number two!

Female B: Here we go, (singing): There is a girl who is a little willful and pretty, and she is pretty, pretty...

Manager: What is this? < /p>

Female B: Boss, this is the response.

Manager: Turn off the echo. What to do?

Female B: Applicant.

Manager: What is your last name?

Female B: No need to name Zhu Gui

Manager: Huh?

Female B: Wrong, please give me your last name Zhu, haha ??

Manager: What is your name?

Female B: Princess Huanzhu

Manager: Oh, you still have a compound surname! height?

Female B: Confidential

Manager: Weight?

Female B: Confidential

Manager: Age?

Female B: Confidentiality

Manager: Are you from the Confidentiality Bureau?

Female B: Haha. .

Manager: Tell me how old you are?

Female B: My daughter is 18 this year and has not yet talked about marriage.

Manager: Oh, I don’t care whether you are married or not. Tell me your academic qualifications.

Female B: Ah!

Manager: Where did you study?

Female B: Oh, I am from the Education University.

Manager: What, what, what, from Jiaotong University? Oops, are you from Shanghai Jiaotong University or Xi'an Jiaotong University?

Female B: None, I am from Grandma’s Education University.

Manager: It is still a private university. Then why are you here today?

Female B: I heard that the boss is recruiting workers, so I came here to find a female secretary and Guan Gong.

Manager: Guan Gong?

Female B: No, it’s public relations, I lost my mind again

Manager: Let me tell you, I am neither recruiting secretaries nor public relations here. Hire a general manager.

Female B: Secretary plus public relations are the general manager.

Manager: What kind of manager is that?

Female B: As time goes by, I will have to take care of everything.

Manager: Do whatever you want.

Female B: I am very diligent.

Manager: I said Miss.

Female B: Well, why don’t you call me Ge Ge?

Manager: Miss Princess

Female B: What about the ring beads?

Manager: Oh, you are so deadly, you. Let’s keep our word, okay?

Female B: Oh.

Manager: Answer me, from the perspective of calligraphy, what kind of style does this character have?

Female B: Oh, I said boss, what are the styles of this word?

Manager: There are too many people!

Female B: Then this word is multimedia.

Manager: What is multimedia?

Female B: Oh, look, I will be more considerate of you every day. The short name is Duo——Media——Ti.

Manager: ·#￥%, please answer me quickly what this word means.

Nv B: Who wrote this word?

Manager: I wrote it, I wrote it.

Female B: You don’t even recognize the words you wrote!

Manager: Me. . Today I will test you.

Female B: Oh, then this word is pronounced Wang.

Manager: How do you pronounce Wang Lie?

Female B: Look, there is a door here, and there is a dog inside. It roars when it sees people, and the sound it makes is bark, woof, woof...

Manager : Don’t bark. When you bark, I feel panicked.

Female B: If he is really panicked, then there will be hope for my work.

Manager: You go, you go.

Female B: You won’t hire me?

Manager: Not hiring!

Female B: Forget it if you don’t hire me. I’ve met thousands of bosses, but I’ve never seen a fool like you. I think you are a cucumber.

Manager: What do you mean?

Female B: Missing the shot! He needs a shot! ``````````I need a shot

Man C: Come, the red flag is flying in the wind, hey, the triumphant song is soaring into the sky, hey, the worker uncle is carrying the hammer, the farmer is holding the sickle, hey, take it sickle.

Manager: What is this?

Male A: Talent display.

Manager: Oh, what do you do?

Male C: For the exam.

Manager: Oh, what’s your last name?

Male C: Surname is Shi.

Manager: What’s your name?

Male C: He is known as Honest, because he has a straight personality. What should he say when he encounters something?

Manager: Oh, that’s great! First of all, could you please take a look at the word on the back?

Male C: Oops! The dots are as thick as the horizontal strokes, and it is square and square like a house. There are two dams above the door, and the pigs are not locked inside.

Manager: ·#￥, that’s interesting.

Man C: Thank you for the compliment.

Manager: Please answer my question. From the perspective of calligraphy, what is the style of this character?

Male C: bold body.

Manager: How did you know it was a black body so quickly?

Male C: You will know it at a glance.

Manager: Oh, he is so honest. People don’t notice how fat he is, so maybe he has the most hope.

Male C: Everyone knows about such a simple question. What is written with a black pen is boldface, what is written with red pen is red, and what is written with colored pen is floral.

Manager: Be honest, answer my second question: What is this word?

Male C: Boss, this word has a meaning.

Manager: What’s wrong with the door?

Man C: It is a security door.

Manager: What do you care about it?

Man C: The key is a dog.

Manager: What’s wrong with the dog?

Male C: Why would a dog do anything if there is a security door?

Manager: Why are you so worried? Please answer me quickly, what is this word?

Male C: It is not a word.

Manager: How do you know it’s not a word?

Man C: I don’t recognize him.

Manager: Oh, you are so honest, okay, I will get you the watch right away.

Male C: As long as it’s a word I don’t recognize, it’s not a word.

Manager: Be honest! This talent is really rare. There is a poem well written. Wearing iron shoes, he searched everywhere but couldn't find it. Only then did this man say "come," and he came.

Male C: Boss, I have two things to say. I don’t know whether to say them or not?

Manager: Talk.

Male C: This is like meeting a close friend in high mountains and flowing water, playing the piano in a daze.

Manager: Honestly, you are the person I am looking for. It’s settled, a monthly salary of one thousand

Male C: One thousand.

Manager: That’s too little, ah

Male C: Eight hundred.

Manager: Oh, okay! Where do you live?

Male C: Hankou.

Manager: Where is Hankou?

Male C: Hexagonal Pavilion.

Manager: Where is the Hexagonal Pavilion?

Male C: 16 beds in the psychiatric hospital.

This is a script, watch it and write it