A collection of bedtime jokes and stories for girlfriends

Ⅰ Love stories to coax your girlfriend to sleep

Love stories to coax your girlfriend to sleep include:

1. Boar and sow

Once upon a time, there were two pigs, a male and a female. The boar always keeps watch on the sows at night. He is afraid that the owner will take the sows out and kill them while they are sleeping. As the days pass, the sows gradually gain weight, while the boar loses weight day by day.

One day, the boar suddenly heard his owner discussing with the butcher about killing and selling the sow that was growing well. The boar was extremely sad, so from that day on, the boar's temperament changed drastically. Whenever the owner brought food, the boar would always rush up and eat everything. After eating every day, he would lie down and sleep, and tell the sow The pig is now on guard duty in her place, and if he finds that she is not on guard duty, he will ignore her again.

As day by day passed, the sow felt that the boar cared less and less about her. The sow was disappointed, but the boar still lived a stable life as if nothing had happened.

Soon, a month passed. The owner took the butcher to the pig pen. He found that the sow that was fat and strong a month ago did not have much meat left, while the boar was shiny. At this time, the boar was running desperately, trying to attract the owner's attention and show that he was a healthy pig. Finally, the butcher took the boar away.

The moment he was dragged out of the pig pen, the boar smiled at the sow and said: "Don't eat so much in the future." The sow was heartbroken and rushed out desperately, but the pen door had been closed. The master closes...

2. Doubao and Mahua

Mahua is about to confess to Doubao, "Well... you are so fat."

Doubao is not Too happy, "Oh."

Mahua rubbed his hands and said, "You...you are white...white and fat..."

Doubao glared at him, "I I know!"

Ma Hua was a little nervous. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "I want to say..." Doubao said, "You are thin! You are the only one who is thin!"

Mahua scratched her head and whispered, "I want to say, you must be easy to hug..."

5. A small scoop of ice cream

"Eat a small scoop of ice cream and you will Become a little pig like me." The little pig raised his hoof to warn the big bad wolf.

"Only a stupid little pig like you will believe what you say! It's just ice cream, how can it be so magical." The big bad wolf held down the pig's hooves and ate a small spoonful of ice cream .

Boom, boom, boom! The big bad wolf turned into a little pig with black gemstone eyes, big flapping ears, and a wagging curved tail.

"Ah ah ah ah, why have I turned into a little pig!" The little gray pig made a surprised sound of "hum, hum, hum."

"Because, because I made this ice cream, I gave it the magic of 'whoever eats it will stay with me for the rest of his life.'" Piggy chuckled.

Ⅱ Bedtime Story for Girlfriend

Story 1

The bus has arrived. The announcement sounded: Passengers, please take your valuables and get off the bus. He said to her: "Let's go, valuables."

Story 2

In the subway. The father is holding a large Doraemon doll, and the son is holding a small one in his hand. The son looked at the one in his father's hand with eager eyes. Dad said: "Be good, don't make any noise, this is for mommy."

Story 3

Girls love to be late. Every time she was late, the boy sitting behind her would laugh at her for being such a fool. Many years later, the boy was promoted to manager.

During one recruitment, a woman ran in panting towards the end. "I'm sorry, I'm late." The man was shocked and said with a silly smile: "You little fool."

Story 4

Once, the king held a banquet for the beautiful princess. A soldier standing guard saw the princess passing in front of him, and he immediately fell in love with her. But how could a humble soldier be worthy of a king's daughter.

One day, he finally managed to get close to her and told her that he couldn't live without her. The princess was moved by his deep affection and told the soldier, if you can wait for me for 100 days and wait for me under the balcony day and night, I will be yours after a hundred days.

After hearing this, the soldier waited under the balcony for one, two, ten, or twenty days. The princess went out every night, but he still stood there all night long. Even the wind, snow and rain could not withstand him. It stopped on his head, even if the bee stung him, he wouldn't move.

But... on the ninetieth day, the soldier's whole body was... pale and thin. Tears flowed from his eyes. He could no longer hold on and did not even have the strength to sleep. The princess kept watching. Looking at him, finally, on the night of the ninety-ninth day, the soldier stood up, picked up his chair, and left.

Story 5

A pair of lovers who had been separated for a long time met by chance in a foreign country.

He asked: How are you? She replied: I'm fine. He asked: How is he? She replied: He is fine. She asked: How are you? He replied: I'm fine. She asked: How is she? He replied: She just told me that she was fine.

Ⅲ What short stories do you know that can coax your girlfriend to sleep?

1. Commitment

After three years of dating, he has never given her a promise, or I hinted at it several times, either explicitly or implicitly, but he just laughed and said nothing. This year, on the train home, because her home was a few stops ahead of his, she felt frustrated and said, "Remember to call me when you get to the station," and then fell asleep.

A few hours later, he woke her up: "We're here." She looked out the window, and her eyes were full of unfamiliar scenery. When she turned her head, it was his doting smile: "Our mother asked me to take care of her. You go home and take a look."

2. Secret love

He is a good student with good grades and good looks. She is a lazy student who loves to play and make trouble. They became roommates in the new semester, and he always looked sideways or looked down at her, never looked at her seriously, and would only snort her jokes when she told them.

She was angry with him for his dead look, so she went around saying that he had a crush on her as if to take revenge. After he heard the rumor, he cornered her in a corner. She was so frightened that she just wanted to hold her head and beg for mercy, but she saw him blushing: "When did you know about it?"

3 , Mr. Rabbit

Girl Rabbit asked Mr. Rabbit, if you were not a rabbit, what would you want to be? Mr. Rabbit said, it’s okay. If I become a tiger, I can protect you. If I become a star, I can protect you when you sleep. If I become a firefly, I can illuminate you. If I become a little raccoon, I can be good friends with you. But what I want the most is You are still a rabbit because you are a rabbit too. Only rabbits and rabbits can chew carrots together.

4. Commit yourself to him

He is good at basketball and handsome, and is a campus idol. She was bouncy and was friends with every boy except him - she was nervous talking to him. In order to get closer to him, she chose basketball.

The teacher asked him to teach everyone how to lay up. He was standing under the basket, and she was running around patting the ball with her heart pounding. The ball hit him in the face. He covered his nose and squatted down, and she screamed in panic: "What should I do? What should I do!" He raised his head and said with a smile in his eyes: "You can pledge yourself to me."

5. The King Story

Once upon a time there was a king, and his queen gave birth to two daughters for him. One of them slept for 18 years in midsummer, and the other for 18 years. The one who slept with her was as beautiful as The other is a fairy, the other has mediocre qualifications, married the prince after sleeping with the princess for 18 years, and the other has no one who wants her.

What does this story tell us? Sleeping can make you beautiful, and you can marry a prince. Although you are a princess, you must have enough sleep to be beautiful. Can my princess sleep now?

Ⅳ Jokes or short stories to coax girls to sleep

If you want to leave

Once upon a time there were two little pigs who lived a carefree life all day long. In life, they love each other. When the owner brings food every day, the boar always lets the sow eat first, and then goes up to eat the leftovers after she is full. The boar always keeps watch on the sows every night. He is afraid that the owner will take the sows out and kill them while they are sleeping. As the days passed, the sows became fatter and fatter, while the boars lost weight day by day. One day, the boars suddenly heard their owners discussing with the butcher about killing the sows that were growing well and selling them. He was so sad that the boar's temperament changed drastically from that day on. Whenever the owner brings food, the boar always grabs it and eats everything. After eating every day, he lies down and sleeps. He also tells the sow that she will be the sentry now. If he finds that she has not done so, He just ignored her. As the days passed, the sow felt that the boar cared less and less about her.

The sow was disappointed, but the boar still lived a peaceful life as if nothing had happened. Soon a month passed. The owner took the butcher to the pig pen. He found that the sow that was fat and strong a month ago was so thin that there was not much meat left, while the boar was shiny and shiny. At this time, the boar was He ran desperately to attract the attention of the owner and show that he was a healthy pig. Finally, the butcher dragged the boar away

The moment he was dragged out of the pig pen, the boar smiled at the sow. He said: Don’t eat so much in the future. The sow was heartbroken and rushed out desperately, but the door of the pen was closed by the owner. Resting on the fence, the sow looked at the tearful boar. That night, the sow looked at the owner's family happily eating pork. The sow sadly lay down in the place where the boar used to sleep every day. Suddenly she found a line of writing on the wall: "If love cannot be expressed in words, I am willing." Use your life to prove it! The sow was heartbroken when she saw this line of words, and the humans were all moved when they heard this poignant love story. In order to commemorate this love, the girls also expressed that they had not forgotten the boar's will before leaving: "Don't eat like this in the future." "More"

Ⅳ Please tell some little jokes or stories to girls before going to bed

1. The English teacher announced on the first day of class: "Starting tomorrow, I will take English class All in English, no longer in Chinese.” The students objected: “Teacher, our English listening skills are poor and we will not understand.” The teacher said, “Don’t worry about not being able to understand me. It will come naturally after a long time.” You will understand." I raised my hand and said: "Teacher, I hear my puppy barking every day, and I still don't know what it is saying."

2. Teacher: "Ours. Pollution control is all natural. "Classmate: "Why do you say that?" Teacher: "Garbage is blown by the wind, and sewage is evaporated."

3. Teacher: What enlightenment does the victory of the mourning army give us? Student: When victory is not certain, a crying soldier can bring down the opponent with tears, and finally win. Crying, making trouble, and hanging himself are the magic weapons of war.

4. Teacher: "Lily, your problem is that you use the wrong words. Now to test you, please use one sentence to describe how happy I am." Lily: "The teacher is smiling."

5. The math teacher talked about congruence and similarity of triangles. After the lecture, he asked the students: What is congruence? What is similarity? I fell asleep and didn’t listen to a word. It was all in vain! When I fell asleep , seemed to hear a little bit, seemed not to hear anything, seemed familiar.

6. It’s the senior year of high school! June is not far away, time is getting faster and faster, clothes are getting less and less, the college entrance examination is getting closer and closer, and the results are getting worse and worse! My heart! It’s getting worse and worse. Cool!

7. A science teacher was assigned to work in a remote mountain village school. In the first class, he told the students what modern science is and how it promotes human progress. He also talks about spaceships and how humans landed on the moon. After class, he asked the students if they had any questions. "Teacher," a student asked, "when will buses be available in our village?"

8. The conversation heard in the cafeteria: (A boy finished his meal) This is What? Stir-fried potatoes with meat, stir-fry potatoes with something? Stir-fry potatoes with meat, stir-fry potatoes with something? Meat... (Finally the cook woke up and added some meat to the boys)

Ⅵ Ask for some Little stories or jokes to coax your girlfriend to sleep, warm and cute. Thank you

Two people were chatting in the dormitory. One person said, if you meet a beautiful girl and you are the only two in the room, what will you do? I just heard from the half-asleep buddy next to me, "Stop talking, let's sleep~

Ⅶ Asking for humorous stories: to tell jokes to my girlfriend.

1 < /p>

Sunflower Lai Lai always looked listless, and no one knew why.

We had to advise him to work hard at photosynthesis during the day

But Lai Lai It has its own little secret. Every night it looks at the moon alone and says in a voice that no one can hear.

"But I just like you."

5

The fox’s teeth and claws are very sharp, and many small animals are afraid of her.

She is busy every day, busy looking for food, busy traveling in the wilderness, busy bathing in the pond,

Gradually, bold animals begin to want to Become friends with her, but she politely refuses every time,

Only occasionally when curled up in her beautiful and warm big red tail,

Will she think about it or not? Friends, what should I do if I hurt them?

Ⅷ A short story for your girlfriend before going to bed

Here are 5 short stories for you

1. The situation is different

A little pig , a sheep and a cow were kept in the same corral. Once, when the shepherd caught the piglet, it howled loudly and resisted violently. The sheep and cows hated its howling, so they said: "He often catches us, but we don't make any noises." The piglet heard this and replied: "Catching you and catching me are completely different things. He catches you just to get yours." Hair and milk, but if you catch me, it will kill me!

It is difficult for people with different positions and different environments to understand each other’s feelings; therefore, they should not accept other people’s frustrations, frustrations, and hurts. When it hurts, you should not take pleasure in it, but be caring and understanding!

2. Rely on yourself

The little snail asked her mother: Why do we have We have to carry this hard and heavy shell?

Mom: Because our body has no support from the bones, we can only crawl, and we cannot climb fast, so we need the protection of this shell! p> Little snail: Sister Caterpillar has no bones and can’t crawl fast. Why doesn’t she have to carry this hard and heavy shell?

Mom: Because Sister Caterpillar can turn into a butterfly and the sky will protect her? She.

Little snail: But the earthworm brother doesn’t have bones to crawl fast, and he won’t turn into a butterfly. Why doesn’t he carry this hard and heavy shell?

Mom: Because the earthworm brother can drill into the soil, the earth will protect him.

The little snail cried: We are so pitiful, the sky does not protect him, and the earth does not protect him.

The snail mother comforted him. : "That's why we have shells!" We don't rely on heaven or earth, we rely on ourselves.

3. Sharks and Fish

Someone once did an experiment and put one of the most ferocious sharks and a group of tropical fish in the same pool, and then separated them with reinforced glass. Initially, The shark keeps colliding with the invisible glass every day, but this is just in vain, it can never cross to the other side, and the experimenter puts some crucian carp in the pool every day, so the shark has no shortage of prey, but it still thinks of it. I went to the opposite side, wanting to taste that beautiful taste, but it still kept bumping into the glass every day. It tried every corner, and tried its best every time, but it always ended up with scars every time. There were several times. The whole body was broken and bleeding, which lasted for several days. Whenever a crack appeared in the glass, the experimenter immediately added a thicker piece of glass.

Later, the shark no longer collided with the glass, and no longer cared about the colorful tropical fish, as if they were just moving murals on the wall. It began to wait for the crucian carp that would appear every day, and then Hunting with his agile instincts seemed to return to the arrogant and ferocious power of the sea, but all this was just an illusion. When the experiment reached the final stage, the experimenter took away the glass, but the shark did not respond. Swimming in a fixed area, it not only turned a blind eye to those tropical fish, but even when those crucian carp escaped there, it immediately gave up the chase and refused to go there again. The experiment was over, and the experimenter ridiculed it for being the most cowardly in the sea. fish.

But anyone who has ever been in love knows why, it is afraid of pain.

4. Miracles

In a remote town in France, it is said that there is a particularly efficacious water spring that often performs miracles and can cure various diseases. One day, a veteran with a cane and one missing leg limped across the street in the town. The townspeople next to him kissed back with sympathy and said, "Poor guy, does he want to ask God for help?" Pray for another leg?" This sentence was heard by the retired soldier. He turned around and said to them: "I am not praying to God for a new leg, but I am praying for Him to help me and prevent me from having one. Even after one leg, I know how to live a good life.

”

Just imagine: Learn to be grateful for what you have lost, and accept the fact of loss. Regardless of gains and losses in life, always make your life full of brightness and brilliance, and stop crying for the past. Work hard to live out your life.

5. Fishing Rod

There was an old man fishing by the river, and a child came over to watch him fishing. The old man was very skilled, so he caught a basket full of fish in a short time. Seeing that the child was very cute and wanted to give him the whole basket of fish, the child shook his head and the old man asked in surprise: "Why don't you want it?" The child replied: "I want the fishing rod in your hand." The old man asked: "You want it?" What's the fishing rod for?" The child said, "This basket of fish will be eaten soon. If I had a fishing rod, I could catch it by myself and never finish it in my lifetime."

I think you will say: What a smart kid. Wrong, if he only needs a fishing rod, he won't be able to eat a single fish. Because he doesn’t understand the skills of fishing. Just having a fishing rod is useless, because the important thing about fishing is not the , but the . Too many people think that they have the fishing rod in life and no longer have to be afraid. Due to the wind and rain on the road, it is inevitable that you will fall on the muddy ground. Just like a child looks at an old man and thinks that as long as he has a fishing rod, he will have endless fish to eat. It is like an employee looking at his boss and thinking that as long as he sits in the office, he will have a lot of money.

Ⅸ There are jokes about coaxing girlfriends to sleep. No

The jokes about coaxing your girlfriend to sleep are as follows:

1. An illiterate girl went to the doctor for dizziness on the second day after her wedding. The doctor asked: What did you eat yesterday? Answer: I took eight pills of birth control pills. The doctor asked: Why don’t you take the medicine according to the instructions? Answer: Just take the medicine according to the instructions. It says one tablet at a time! The doctor immediately fell to the ground.

2. The dean said to a mentally ill patient: This time you saved a man who fell into the water and performed well. Unfortunately, he hanged himself again. The mental patient said proudly: I hung him up to dry.

3. The psychiatrist asked the patient: "Did you hear some sounds, but you didn't know who was speaking or where the sounds came from?" "Yes." "When was that? This happened? " "When I answered the phone. " 4. Dr. Li of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology has been practicing medicine for many years, and through his efforts, many infertile families have children. Recently he received a plaque to express his gratitude, with four big golden characters engraved on it - out of nothing.

5. I wonder if you have noticed the doctor’s handwriting when you happen to be sick and go to the hospital for treatment. Generally speaking, there are dragons and phoenixes dancing, which makes people confused and confused. So I admire the nurses at the medicine office, they can always identify what medicine should be taken. Once, a doctor friend of mine wrote me a letter and invited me to have dinner. I could recognize part of the words on the letter, but I couldn't recognize the key time and place. I ran to the pharmacy of a nearby hospital, handed the letter to the nurse, and asked her to read it for me. She looked at it carefully for a long time, gave me two bottles of medicine, and said, "This, twice a day!" < /p>

6. One day, the ophthalmologist and the internist got into an argument. The ophthalmologist said: "Be careful, I will make you blind." The physician said: "Be careful, I will make you a wolf-hearted person."

7. Someone was bitten by a dog and rushed to the hospital for medicine. The doctor is getting ready to get off work: Look what time it is, don’t you know when you should come to work? The man said: I know, but the dog doesn’t understand!

8. In front of the cloth counter, the clerk patiently tore the cloth into small strips according to the customer's requirements, and then the customer asked the clerk to tie the strips into knots. The clerk finally couldn't bear it anymore. She said: "Is it difficult for you to have mental illness?" "Yes, I have a hospital certificate."

9. A couple went to register for marriage. "Have you ever had a premarital checkup?" "I have checked, and his house and car are all intact." "I mean go to the hospital." The young woman blushed and replied in a low voice: "checked, it's a boy."

10. Under the shade of the trees in the hospital, a pair of lovers were hugging and kissing. A doctor saw this and went over to the man and said, "You are so confused. To perform artificial respiration, you should lay her flat on the ground. Go away and let me do it."

11. In middle school, A buddy took me to a bookstall and asked the boss arrogantly: "Is there Liu Bei?" I was wondering when the boss pulled out two pornographic books from the corner and handed them over.

On the way back, I asked: "Why is the Yellow Book called 'Liu Bei'?" He whispered to me: "Uncle Huang."

12. The classmates went on a trip and climbed to the top of the mountain. One girl stood on the top of the mountain very excitedly and shouted: Motherland, my mother! Then a boy who had a crush on this girl shouted excitedly: Motherland, my mother-in-law.

13. In the supermarket, I saw a large, tied crab crawling from the 18.9 yuan freezer to the 28.9 yuan cabinet. I burst into tears, you are so damn motivated!

14. Confucius, Mozi, and Laozi met the Jade Emperor. The Jade Emperor was taking a bath with the Queen Mother. Confucius and Mozi peeked under the window and were discovered by the Jade Emperor. The Jade Emperor sighed with emotion: "It's better for me, an honest man!" Confucius and Mozi replied: "No, I'm not short! He went to move bricks."

15. Somali Pirates: "Three million dollars a price!" Chinese official: "Two and a half million! Pirate: Do you think I'm stupid? I know you said two hundred and fifty is an insult!" Chinese official: "Three million is three million! But The invoice is for seven million!" The pirate said with tears in his eyes, "You are still ruthless in stealing money!" 16. There is a drought in a certain place. A farmer asked the fortune teller: When will it rain? The fortune teller handed him a folded piece of paper and said, "This is a secret from heaven and cannot be revealed. You can only take it out to read it on a rainy day, otherwise you will be struck by lightning if you reveal the secret." After three days, it finally rained, and the farmer Remembering what the fortune teller said, he took out the note and read it: "It will rain today." The farmer was shocked and said, "What a man of God!"

17. When you are in high school, you can envy you as long as you pass college. In college, you can envy you if you fail high school.

18. After watching the black 100-meter race, an old lady wiped away tears and said: It’s scary! Several coal diggers knelt in a row and were shot. They fired without aiming. The children were so frightened that they ran away, and even the ropes couldn't stop them!

19. He is a deputy department inspector and is related to the national leader. When he goes to the West for inspections and visits, he only takes three followers with him. He never uses police cars to clear the way, nor does he use public funds to eat or drink. Sometimes he even asks for food and drinks. Go begging for food... He has been inspecting the West for many years, met many foreign heads of state, and achieved great results. After returning to China, he did not ask for promotion. He taught and did good deeds all his life, and did not have any property after his death. He is Tang Seng.

20. Why are cross-bridge rice noodles more expensive than ordinary rice noodles? Because it includes tolls.

Reference: //wenku./link?url=UWn94K698_GRuQX0W-jKRONJ3hRGdU7e7__

Ⅹ Joke stories to make your girlfriend happy

Jokes to make your girlfriend happy Story:

1. A new, pretty female colleague arrived, and a male colleague coughed in front of her. She said gently: "You have a cold?" The colleague was a little excited: "Well, a little bit!" Female colleague: "Then stay away from me."

2. The son and his father were watching TV. After watching the Youlemei commercial, I imitated the heroine and asked my father, "Who am I to you?" Dad said: You are the punishment for my impulsiveness.

3. Watching TV with my husband, a man said to a woman: Don’t be so fierce. Do you know that gentleness is a woman’s most beautiful dress? After hearing this, my husband looked at me and said faintly: Wife, you don’t even have a pair of underwear! Me:...

4. Today my roommate complained to me that he had been looking for the key in the dormitory for a long time and was about to collapse. I said: "I understand this feeling. Everyone will have the experience of looking for keys, glasses, wallets, and mobile phones but not being able to find them, and then going crazy and close to collapse." The roommate nodded, and then Said: "There is another thing whose degree of collapse is far greater than them." I asked what it was? My roommate said with tears in his eyes: "The target!"

5. On WeChat, me: Hello, I see you have such a good figure in your photos, how do you maintain it in your daily life? Weiyou: P’s. I. . .

6. Female: What are you doing? Man: I was at a classmate’s wedding, so bored. Woman: How could it be boring? There must be a lot of people, right? Man: It’s useless to have more. Some of them like to play cards, some like to drink, and some of them like to drink. I’m the only one who’s free.

Woman: So what do you love? Man: I love you!

7. A girl asked me to send a courier for her and gave me an empty carton to pack. I asked her curiously: "Who is this sent to?" She said: "A boy I have liked for a long time. I was stunned for a moment: "But there is nothing in it." She said: "There are some things that only I can see." I was even more confused when I heard this and asked her mysteriously what it was. She said, "A box of wishes!" "

8. Life is a practice. What good deeds have you done to benefit others and yourself?" "Every time you post *** P in a good light." "Your merits are immeasurable." < /p>

9. My son is in the first grade of kindergarten. His aunt comes to play at home and teases him: He is already in the first grade of kindergarten. Do you have a girlfriend? Son: Haven’t you found it yet? Aunt: Why pinch? Son: He is going to elementary school soon and has to be re-divided into classes. Now he is not stable. . . I. . .

10. Every time relatives and friends ask me during the Chinese New Year: "Are you looking for a partner?" I will be very smart and silently look for his children, and then ask kindly: "How much will the final exam cost?" You know Pain needs to be transferred. . . The child said: "Uncle, my girlfriend got first place and I got second place. By the way, uncle, do you have a girlfriend..." Me. . .