May you walk out of half your life and come back still a young man.

Time flies, always slipping away from your fingertips without you realizing it. When you look back, you find that so long has passed.

If I count on my fingers, it has been four years since I graduated. But suddenly, I thought I was still the same boy.

In September 2015, in that hot summer, many students entered the campus one after another, and I was one of them. Maybe the residual warmth of the holiday has not passed yet, or maybe the feeling of seeing old friends again after a long absence has not subsided, just when we were chattering in the classroom about missing each other. A notice from the school calmed our fiery hearts instantly.

We are one year away from the graduation season, so we are clearly arranged by the school. Since the new campus has not yet been renovated and the school’s enrollment exceeds the standard, we were arranged to go out for internships in advance.

Everything was so unexpected, like a dream, I entered the campus full of expectations, and in the blink of an eye, I left confused and helpless. Watching one classmate after another pack their bags and leave for other places makes the originally lively campus full of sadness of parting. I know that we enter society unprepared. Looking at the empty dormitory, the small room that was originally filled with laughter and laughter became a mess. I know that once I go, I may never come back.

Since it is an independent internship, everyone goes in all directions.

I was very obsessed at that time. I don’t know why, but I just wanted to go to Beijing.

Perhaps it was the prosperity seen on TV or the stories of Beijing told by friends, which all turned into yearning and longing for Beijing. In this way, I said goodbye to my friends, secretly boarded the train to Beijing with the 2,000 yuan living expenses my family gave me.

Since we boarded the car at night, I felt sleepy so I curled up by the window and slept. When I woke up, there was already some dim light outside the window. I looked at the time and saw that in a few hours I would reach the place I had longed for, and I felt nervous and excited.

After riding the train all night, it was already seven or eight o'clock the next morning when I arrived. When I left the station, I looked back at the three characters "Beijing Station" and felt excited in my heart, "Beijing, I It's finally here.

Looking at the bustling crowds and endless high-rise buildings, I always feel that I am out of tune with everything around me. I froze in place for a long time, but I didn't know which direction to take when I raised my steps, because except for the crowds coming and going at the station and the vendors hawking on the overpass, everything else in my eyes was confused.

As the excitement faded, reality was like a basin of cold water waking me up. Only then did I realize that everything was incompatible with what I thought. And life is not that simple. I thought that when I arrived, I would be able to find a job, I would have opportunities, and I would be able to live on. I thought that after all, I thought that life was simple, but I ignored the simplest aspect of life, which is food, drink, housing and transportation.

The sun in Beijing seemed to be extremely hot. I was sweating profusely, walking around like a headless fly carrying a suitcase that was heavier than me. I wandered back and forth for two hours without knowing where to go.

At that time, I was like a passionate and brainless boy who hurriedly came to a strange city without any worries or preparations. Only after I arrived did I realize that life was not as beautiful as I imagined. The life and future I longed for were always in my dreams. But the actual path still needs to be walked by oneself.

At that time, I was just a newbie who had just entered the society. I didn’t know anything. I didn’t know where to look for a house or a job. As time went by, I reluctantly spent 120 yuan and found a small hotel near the station for one night. I know that continuing like this is not an option. The living expenses I brought cannot sustain me for a few days at all.

Fortunately, I met a brother from Tieba who was also a North drifter, and we discussed finding a job together. Later I went to live with him for a few days.

When I came to Beijing at that time, except for a few friends who knew about it, no one told me about it. I didn't contact any friends in Beijing, and I had never met this brother in person. Looking back now, I feel fortunate that the people I met at that time were not bad guys or liars. Otherwise, it might be another ending now. However, I still want to thank this stranger who helped me.

When I was looking for him on the way, I checked the route and got on the bus. I heard the sound on the bus. Please swipe your card to get on the bus and swipe your card to get off. Since I didn’t have a bus pass, I paid with banknotes. Then when I heard the prompt to swipe my card when I got off the bus, I was a little confused. As a person with no social experience, I was a little panicked because I didn’t know if I needed to put in coins again when I got off the bus. I was afraid. I was accused of fare evasion, but I was embarrassed to ask others.

When I arrived at the bus station, I got off the bus with an uneasy heart. When I saw that no one was chasing me to throw coins, I felt relieved. When I was waiting for the bus at the transfer station, I mustered up the courage and asked Only when I saw the aunt who was also waiting for the bus did I realize how stupid my idea was at that time.

When I started looking for a job, I posted my personal information on a recruitment website. Since I didn’t have a diploma, I still couldn’t get into some ideal jobs. But even so, there is still an endless stream of people calling me every day. But it’s basically customer service and sales.

Later, I started searching on the street with my brother. When I saw a recruitment notice posted on the door of a store, I went in for consultation. After looking around a lot, I couldn't find a suitable job. Only then did I understand the hardships of society and the difficulty of life.

I remember one night, my friend called me and asked me how I was doing in Beijing. After I told him about my experience in Beijing, he started to comfort me. At that time, I had no one to talk to and no one to help me, and his phone call was like the straw that broke the camel's back, causing my tears to flow uncontrollably. While holding back tears, he said that he could do it. My friend said, if you can't hold on anymore, come back. I seemed to be so spineless. Within two days, I couldn't hold on any longer and returned to Weifang.

When I left, I looked back a few times at this city where I sat on the flyover for several hours, slept in an Internet cafe for half the night, and could only eat instant noodles if I couldn't bear to eat. I felt a little reluctant to leave. My first trip to the North ended with regret.

After returning to Weifang, I spent a few hundred yuan to rent a small house. Speaking of the house, it was actually just a small house. In this way, I had my first home.

I always hit a wall when I first start looking for a job. Because I don’t have any skills, I can’t find the job I want. And because I haven’t made the transition from student to society, I always have high ambitions and low ambitions.

I couldn’t find a stable job, so I started working part-time. Handing out flyers, standing on the street, marching in doll costumes and holding a racquet... basically everything.

It was also at that time that I got my first salary, a part-time salary. Although it was only a few dozen yuan, it was my first income.

Later, when I was looking for a job with my friends, I saw an Internet cafe recruiting people. Since I also loved playing games, I started my career as a network administrator again. I never expected that my first job after graduation would be a network administrator.

It was also at that time that I completed the transformation from a fair-skinned young boy to an unshaven old man.

On the eve of graduation, I received a call from a friend inviting me to go to Beijing for training. After discussing it with my family, I embarked on my second trip to Beijing.

I heard from a friend that the testing industry is very popular, has good development prospects, and the salary is not low. And I also felt that it was time to find a serious job, so I participated in this training.

This time when I came to Beijing, all my friends from the university came to pick me up at the station. I still remember the joke we made when we were in college, saying that the first thing we did after coming to Beijing was to go to Tiananmen Square and salute Mao Zedong.

After putting down my luggage, he took me on the subway to Tiananmen Square. At that time, I realized that Beijing is so big that you can still take the subway for two or three hours in the same city.

Since one person did not bring his ID card, we did not salute Mao Zedong in the end. We walked around Tiananmen Square and then went to Nanlou Ancient Alley. After shopping around, I took the subway for two hours and returned to where I lived.

We found a small shop in the evening, ate food, drank wine, and talked about our future life. It was a group of young people who had just come out of school, with their yearning and expectations for life. At that time, I also felt that the wine we had not finished drinking in school could still be drunk in society.

After having a good meal, everyone went to play games all night long. Perhaps the greatest respect for him when he first arrives at a place is to enjoy life as much as he wants on the first day.

After life got on track, everyone should go to work and look for a job, and I also entered the training class.

When training requires payment of tuition fees, everyone takes out loans, and teachers also encourage loans to study. After graduation and working, you can slowly repay the loans yourself. When I called my dad to explain the situation, my dad said something that sticks with me to this day.

We don’t need a loan for the money you spend on your studies. After saying that, he transferred all the money to me. My dad said that you should study hard. No matter how poor your family is, they will support your study.

Unfortunately, I failed to study well in the end. I failed my dad’s love and support for me.

Because I smoke, I got to know several smokers who smoked during our training. For me, who is about to graduate, their age seems a bit older. But no matter how old I am, I will always be sad, have dreams, and have different hobbies. Maybe this is the only reason for me to come to Beijing. The smoke has burned out, but the dream continues.

When we were about to graduate from the training, we smokers were like the bad boys in the class, making mischief. Because after studying all the courses, we can no longer tolerate our restless hearts. So we collectively skipped class and drove to Qinhuangdao and Yanjiao. Go see the mountains and the water. Then the leader of the training institution gave us a private meeting to talk. Maybe they read our thoughts. Let us choose ourselves, we can graduate early or continue training.

Our minds were no longer on the training, so we chose to graduate early. Fortunately, after graduating from the training, the university also sent me a diploma, announcing that I had graduated. After so many years of school career, I am still very sad when I think about it, because I know that school will never go back.

After graduation, I started busy sending out resumes and interviewing. Every day I am either on the way to the interview or on the way back from the interview.

Since I have no social experience, I am always very nervous during interviews. I am extremely anxious when I hear that all the smokers have received high-paying offers.

In the days that followed, I was busy submitting resumes, looking for jobs, and interviewing. A few days later, on the way to celebrate a friend's birthday, I received the first offer in my life. As my first official job hunter, you can imagine how excited I was when I finally received the offer.

But life is unpredictable. Two days before I was to join the company, I received a call from a scammer. After picking up the phone, I said hello politely, and then the person on the phone called out my name accurately. Before I could ask who he was, he told me to go to his office tomorrow. One trip. I asked him who he was, and he said he was the person who interviewed me. He also asked me if I didn’t know who he was? Then he went on to say, talk to me tomorrow and find out more about the situation.

I thought it was a pre-employment interview, so I hung up the phone without thinking much about it. Then I stupidly listened to what the so-called leader said and went to the company the next day.

When he was about to arrive at the company, he called me and didn’t let me go upstairs. He said he was in a meeting with a leader and asked me to wait for him downstairs for a while. Although I was a little surprised as to why I was waiting for him downstairs, I still didn't notice anything was wrong.

When I realized that I had been deceived, he called me again and asked me to transfer money to him. He said that it would cost money to entertain the leader and that he could not leave. He also said that he needed to buy something. Let me transfer how much money to him and give it to me later.

I knew I had been scammed from the moment he asked for money.

In fact, now that I think about it, I was really stupid at that time. The words of the liar were full of loopholes, but I simply believed them. Maybe life is like this, it will always teach you something along the way. But I also sincerely hope that everyone will be a good person and refrain from cheating, because you don’t know how much harm your deception will cause to others.

Later, when I called this company to inquire, they said they didn’t know and that my information should have been leaked. After inquiring to no avail, I rejected the company's offer because I felt that if an IT company could leak employee information, then this company must not be reliable. I was really stupid and naive, and it wasn’t until later that I realized that being cheated had nothing to do with the company, but that the scammer got my information from the recruitment website, and then used clichés to take advantage of your psychology to deceive me. .

The first offer fell through just like that. Then I started the cycle of submitting my resume and interviewing again.

After going through many stumblings, I finally found a job at a place close to home.

A company that outsourced to China Unicom. At that time, we basically didn’t have our own offices and workstations. We carried computers on our backs, gathered at the door every day, and then lined up to enter the China Unicom Building. After entering, watch the leader arrange the workstation.

Later, the office space was requisitioned, and rows of desks were placed in the lobby on the first floor of the building for us to work. Sometimes when the sun was shining brightly, you could hardly open your eyes.

Under such an environment, I resigned after less than three months of working.

The days after leaving my job were boring and boring. After another month of delay, I finally found a pretty good job.

After working for nearly a month, the company moved to a very remote location. What was originally a one-and-a-half-hour drive turned into nearly three hours.

At that time, I had to take three subway rides to work. After getting off the subway, I had to walk for nearly half an hour. If I was lucky enough to find a free bicycle, it would take me 15 minutes to ride to and from get off work. It takes almost 6 hours in total, and I only work eight hours.

I remember the first day after the company moved, after get off work, I walked to find the subway station. Because I was not familiar with the place, I followed the navigation for half an hour and couldn’t find it. I even got lost. After struggling for a long time, I finally found the subway station.

But misfortunes never come singly. There is no money in the subway card. Since the top-up can only be done with cash, and I didn’t bring any cash with me, I had no choice but to go to the bank, but I searched all over the place and found nothing. An ATM machine. After returning to the subway, I felt at a loss as if the whole world had abandoned me.

I had to go home eventually, so I had no choice but to stop strangers at the subway entrance and ask if they had any cash. I asked several people in succession, and they all shook their heads and waved their hands at me. When I was about to despair, a kind-hearted young lady appeared. I exchanged cash with her through WeChat, and then I was able to go home. It was already ten o'clock when I got home.

In such a tight time, I spent about a year. Gradually, I got used to the three- to four-hour journey on the subway, and got used to leaving early and returning late. Life is hard, but it has to go on.

I remember that one year there was a fire in an apartment in Beijing. At that time, the inspection of apartments in Beijing was very strict, and because the apartment I lived in was not up to standard, I received a notice to move out.

Time is always forcing you to hurry. After being out of breath, I resigned again.

Started to be busy looking for a house and moving.

After leaving my job, I was idle for a while. I stayed on the computer every day and played games until very late at night. When I woke up during the day, it was already noon or afternoon. After my friend learned about it, he said to me, "You know how terrible it is to stay in Beijing for a month without a job." Yes, in this high-consumption first-tier city, it is really difficult to survive without a job.

When I was frowning, I received a call from a high school classmate. He is coming to Beijing. After hearing the news that he was coming, I tidied up my small house of only more than ten square meters and made a bed for him. In this way, he finally had a place to stay in Beijing.

I haven’t seen an old friend for a long time, so I am naturally very happy. At the same time, I also decided that he and I would find a job closer to each other.

After countless interviews and discussions, we settled on an e-marketing company.

After working for a period of time, I decided to go home to develop my career because my friend’s family had arranged a job. After he resigned, I also accompanied him in resigning.

After he came home, I looked at the empty house and suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. In fact, you have always been lonely, and now there is someone who will accompany you to and from get off work, eat together, and talk with you. When he left, what was left was darkness and loneliness.

In fact, he was not the only one who left. Friends who came to Beijing to work together also returned to their hometowns one after another. I gave them away one after another, and finally I was left alone. Just like on the university campus, I watched my classmates leave one after another.

There is no eternal banquet in the world, and friends around you will also have their own lives and choices. So the only one you can rely on is yourself.

I also thought about leaving Beijing, but I didn’t expect this day to come so soon.

Since I was unemployed at the time, a friend called me and asked me if I was still looking for a job and recommended me to work in their company. After much thought, I decided to leave the place where I had stayed for nearly three years and the Beijing I longed for.

Now I have lived here for nearly two years, but I still can’t forget the days when I drifted to the north.

Life is without poetry and distance, but you must also face the sun yourself.

May you be treated gently by this world.

I hope that after half your life, you will still be a young man when you come back.