What should be kept in mind in married life, the more comfortable husband and wife life?

Introduction: Some couples are getting better and better, and their feelings are also very good. Some couples are always quarrelling, so what is the secret of getting along?

Many people say that the days after marriage are like a stagnant pool, which is getting more and more dull. Some people are unwilling and unwilling in this dull life, and then try to attract each other's attention with their other half in constant conflicts, but often it backfires and the relationship between husband and wife is getting worse.

Therefore, we often see many middle-aged couples who are not short of money, houses or children, but lack love, and start looking for the next true love under the slogan "Don't live in vain".

There are also some couples who did not plan their family property well when they were young. When people are down and out in middle age, lack of money means that they often have no dignity, so they make a living under the slogan "I have been poor all my life, and it is time to give myself a way out".

In fact, objectively speaking, when a husband and wife establish a marriage relationship, both sides are the same body, and both have the responsibility to move in a good direction for family development. Here are three tips that may make married family life more harmonious.

Rule 1: respect each other and leave room.

We have a junior high school classmate. Let's call him Xiaotian. This young man is tall, Shuai Shuai. He is very popular at work, but now more and more colleagues of his age don't like to associate with him because of his wife.

Xiaotian's wife is fine, but she watches Xiaotian too closely. Xiaotian usually eats, drinks, and plays, and her wife always accompanies her on any occasion, which is nothing. But it's not a good thing that I often come to work to visit classes, which will affect my colleagues' work in Xiaotian.

As my colleague here said, it's your business to affect brother Tian's work progress, but we still have to support our families, so we can't understand the impact on our progress. We are not your relatives, so what does your family and disharmony have to do with us?

Xiaotian's wife often checks Xiaotian's cell phone. As long as she sees Xiaotian interacting with others in the group, or having a separate information exchange, she must give full play to Conan's spirit and find out who this person is, whether it is a man or a woman. If it is a woman, why not call you with someone, what is the meaning of a smiling expression, and so on.

Xiaotian said she was really tired, but she still tried to rationalize her wife's problems. Because the explanation is unreasonable, Xiaotian's wife will go to work and make a scene. She must ask other colleagues who have contacted Xiaotian.

Over time, it not only slowed down Xiaotian's work progress, but also almost lost his normal communication with colleagues. No one dares to take him to dinner or anything, for fear of getting burned. And female colleagues are afraid to make him jealous. They would rather find someone else to dock their work tasks than Xiaotian. After a long time, Xiaotian's work was suspended.

In fact, as women, we all understand what Xiaotian's wife thinks. She thinks that if we hurry, Xiaotian won't run away. As everyone knows, sometimes feelings are like sand. The tighter you hold on, the easier it is for you to slip away.

Due to the long-term interference, Xiaotian's work has been seriously affected, and Xiaotian is in a passive state in his work. Xiaotian's inner feelings for his wife are slowly being tortured and consumed.

Instead of hurting each other and leaving no room, it is better to respect each other, leave room and support each other. This is the correct way for couples to face normal social interaction, rather than abnormal control and possessiveness.

Article 2: Build family account by relying on the economy.

The income between husband and wife also needs reasonable planning, not only to make long-term planning for the future development of the family, but also to ensure that the living standard and quality of the family can not be too low.

Make an objective and reasonable plan for the income of both husband and wife. A, the establishment of family account, divided into fixed deposits and lump sum withdrawal. The money here is mainly used for the savings of large family funds; Secondly, after deducting monthly household expenses and consumption, both husband and wife can get a certain amount of pocket money to control freely and not interfere with each other; Finally, when the capital savings exceed a certain amount, we can turn to real estate, funds, commercial insurance and other investment projects, so that family assets have a stable appreciation space.

But there are also couples who don't communicate with each other and don't have the idea of managing family property together. What they want is "how to get each other's money into their own hands". Friends Xiao Zhang and his wife are such a typical example.

Xiao Zhang and his wife are really ahead of many peers. Their house was bought by Xiao Zhang's parents in full and was responsible for decoration. Xiao Zhang's wife gave a car, which was also full. In other words, Xiao Zhang and his wife are at least 80% ahead of their peers, and they don't have to pay back the mortgage and car loan, not to mention how to save every penny and save the down payment on buying a house.

It stands to reason that this kind of life is relatively happy. Relatively speaking, there is no financial burden and pressure, and children also have in-laws to help. But people are greedy. Xiao Zhang's wife thinks that she should control the financial power at home and ask Xiao Zhang to hand in her salary card.

At the beginning, Xiao Zhang also handed it in. After five months, I didn't buy anything big at home, but I didn't save any money. Xiao Zhang began to ask his wife where all the money was spent, and Xiao Zhang's wife said what it was spent. She also said that Xiao Zhang was incompetent and earned too little, and she had to ask her in-laws for money subsidies.

Xiao Zhang felt that something was wrong, because at first, although the wages of the two were not dominated by one person, they were all divided.

Xiao Zhang is mainly responsible for property management, water and electricity, food and snacks, etc. His wife is mainly responsible for children's wear, milk powder and so on. Occasionally, Xiao Zhang will buy hundreds of clothes for his wife. In this case, Xiao Zhang himself still saved a sum of money, but after the salary card was given to his wife, he didn't save a penny, and he couldn't help but start to doubt.

Later, Xiao Zhang knew by innuendo that his wife gave almost all their income to the family and subsidized the family. If his wife is still dissatisfied and thinks it is not enough, Xiao Zhang will ask her in-laws for money.

This time, Xiao Zhang was completely angry. Xiao Zhang thinks I won't interfere if you subsidize her family with your own salary. You subsidize her family with my salary. Now our small family is short of funds. It was my parents' idea to subsidize your family with my parents' pension. Isn't that a little too much?

In fact, Xiao Zhang's wife made a typical mistake. She didn't plan for the small family's economy. Her family and small family can't tell the priorities clearly, which makes her husband feel uncomfortable and leads to her husband's distrust of herself.

The economic planning of small families is very important. Some couples obviously have a high income, but because they can't plan, they still have no savings or assets in middle age.

Moreover, some couples obviously have a low starting point, but after constant finishing, it is still good for people to reach middle age. Therefore, the economic independence between husband and wife is the most important, and the establishment of family account and rational planning of family assets are the king.

Article 3: discipline and training children are in the same direction.

There are also some families where both husband and wife are excellent, but they don't care much about their children. Finally, the child was raised crooked. When they get old, they have to pay for those who don't care about their children.

There is an aunt at home who was busy going to work every day when she was young. There was really no way at that time. If she doesn't go to work, she has no income. Without income, you can't survive.

Aunt gives her children to her mother-in-law at work every day. My mother-in-law runs a small shop, and her mind is not on her grandson. Let her grandson play by himself.

Aunt is very tired after work every day. After picking up the children, she let them watch TV and play by themselves. Not obvious when you are young. When they grow up, they find that children are addicted to TV and entertainment, refuse to study, and have almost no ability to think independently.

The child's grades are far from ideal. He went to junior college and couldn't find a job after graduation. So the aunt asked people everywhere to find internship units and jobs for her children. And her 25-year-old son has never gone out to look for a job by himself. At present, his biggest hobby is king pesticide.

In fact, my aunt originally planned not to let the children with poor grades go to high school, and planned to give him a secondary vocational school to learn a skill, but my aunt's husband disagreed. My aunt's husband is bent on cultivating his children into scientific and technological elites. Therefore, in the case that the child only scored 300 points in the first college entrance examination, he still arrogantly asked the child to repeat, and he must be admitted to an undergraduate college. As a result, he repeated his studies for one year, and scored 365,438+00 in the second year, so he could only fill in one higher vocational school.

After entering the higher vocational school, my aunt's husband also wants his children to repeat their studies, and is prepared to spend huge sums of money to let them go abroad to study computers in India. I was shocked when I heard the news. What a distorted educational concept this is. In the end, I didn't go to India, but I took the college entrance examination, spent nearly 50 thousand yuan on the training class, and finally failed.

This incident also inspired me a lot, because I found that if a family's children are biased, the couple will be extremely worried.

Preferably husband and wife. Children are taught in accordance with their aptitude when they are young. Some children don't study well in culture class, but they have other talents, such as cooking, clothing and photography. These are all survival skills in the future. Who said that you must get good grades in the exam to have a future and a way out? Look at the wood juice after 00. People write their own official WeChat account, which is different from the media and can support themselves.

Therefore, education and training of children, the concept of husband and wife should be consistent. For families, it is also an important asset to cultivate children.

In the process of getting along, husband and wife also need to constantly run in and make concessions to each other. But as a family, the purpose of * * * is to make the family run well, more and more promising and more competitive.

Therefore, couples should constantly reflect on how to run a good family. In many ways, they should have * * * knowledge and bottom line, which is a virtuous circle for families and couples, and the benefits are quite rich.