[Reprinted] How did China's parents force the girl into a leftover woman?

Hey = waving a crow? And then what? Do you want to hire θ Bao? Shake h, slow down and let go? Picroside? Are you kidding? げげげげげげげげげげげげげげげ? Lan Ping? What's your date? Where did Kang invade Zheng? Reject Nephipu? What happened? 90%, I don't know if I will give up on myself, I hope not. Hehe, inexperienced children are actually quite poor. Of course, the poor do have hateful times. Let's reflect on ourselves, and then continue to stay at home, alas, and learn to bird ~ ~ ~ The following is the text: I have held several lectures on leftover women in Shanghai and Beijing, and I will share some problems I have seen with you. First of all, what is a leftover woman? I never think that marriage is something that everyone should do. Many people don't need and are not suitable for marriage, but I am sure that everyone needs to fall in love and learn to love and be loved in this life. Different from the definition of leftover women promoted by the media, I mean leftover women who are willing to fall in love, but hate getting married because of negative waiting attitude, poor family education and narrow and contradictory conditions for choosing a spouse. Among the audience who came to attend the lecture on leftover women, there are many women who have not yet started their first love at the age of 30! I have several such women around me. From the outside, they are all normal, but when I go deep into their hearts, I find that all the leftover women have a reason. At the beginning of the lecture, I asked the audience three questions: Is finding a man your top priority at present? (Half of them didn't raise their hands) Are you willing to find a man by all means except not doing anything illegal? (Only one person raises his hand) Are you willing to invest unnecessary time, money and energy in finding a man? (Only a few people raise their hands) You see, the leftover women will say that I really want to find a man, but most of them have answered no to these three questions, which shows that they don't really regard finding a man as a top priority in life. They don't want to take the initiative to do anything, on the pretext that love needs fate. What is fate? If you think fate is that you were trampled by a man in the subway, look up. Wow, it's him! (a common plot in TV series), then I'm afraid you'll have to stay forever. I understand that fate is that God gave you a chance, and you saw him in time and caught him. There are many leftover women howling for men, but they can't see men at all. When I was training leftover women in a company with a large number of women, I said that I saw three nice men as soon as I entered the door, but you actually said that there were no men in the company. They asked curiously, where is it? I told them IT was their IT staff. They suddenly realized that they were men! They never treat male colleagues as men. When I told an executive manager that she actually had the most contact with men in the company, she refused to believe me. I said, your supplies are good. Computer maintenance, decoration, furniture companies, property management and express delivery companies are all men. She exclaimed, yes, they are men. She never treats suppliers as men. Where is that man? Leftover women are always asking. I see men everywhere, but they can't see men at all. When I was giving a lecture at Yoyo Yoga in ritan park, I saw a handsome foreign guy floating past in a white yoga suit for the first time. If I wasn't hosting the lecture, I would have followed! I told the leftover women, look at the sea, there are handsome guys, and most of them haven't seen them. When I wait at the airport, I don't read the newspaper. I looked at the people around me. When I see a good-looking man, I will take one more look at him. Some of them chat and change their business cards. In many companies in the business building where I work, I often see good men in the elevator. I reported this discovery to my leftover female colleagues and suggested that they get to know each other in the name of friendship, starting with making friends. They think it's a great idea, but no one takes the initiative to do it, waiting for others to do it first and enjoying the ready-made ones themselves. Also, people who make an appointment with others to attend a social activity are too lazy to go just because it is raining and a little tired. There is always an excuse to forgive yourself for inaction. The best excuse, of course, is busy at work and working overtime. But according to my observation, the reason why leftover women work overtime is that they have no boyfriends to do, and there is no place to go after work. The more they work overtime, the fewer boyfriends they have, which is a vicious circle. Attitude is everything. Seeing the attitude of a single woman can tell how long she will find the right person in the future. My girlfriend was very anxious when she was single at the age of 28, but she was very active and willing to try anything. She went to a friend's wedding with me. When people introduced themselves, she said I was XXX, 28 years old and unmarried. Everyone laughed. Everyone knows her. I saw a man coming to talk to her. A few weeks later, she went to play badminton with her friends and met her husband today. She doesn't play badminton very well, but she goes anywhere where she can meet new friends. I have attended many bachelor parties as an observer and found that many single women went for nothing. Everyone is good at dressing up, but they have a bad attitude! Either hold your chest with your hands, stand aside as a wallflower, and don't take the initiative to talk to anyone, or several girls crowd together to criticize the men present, as if afraid that they can't hear you. 2, poor family education, before weaning, I wrote on my blog, "My parents' home is too warm to find a man. "A considerable number of leftover women are like this. As long as they are not married, even if they are 30, 35 or 40 years old, they still live with their parents and live together forever! They are taken care of by their parents, and their status in the family is always a daughter, not an independent single woman. So I said, they are single in law, but not in lifestyle. They have married their parents! Single women in the true sense should start living independently, not buying a house, renting a house or even sharing a room with others. At the lecture, a girl opened her eyes wide when she heard my point of view. She asked, isn't it a waste of money for parents to live outside at their own expense when they have a house? I said with a wry smile that life is not like this. Life needs a lot of necessary waste, and a lot of saving will lead to disastrous results. There's another girl. The transportation from home to the company takes two hours. Why not rent your own house near the company? Why waste time on the way to and from work? If your family still lives in a remote place, far from the city center, and I'm afraid I'm not in the mood to go out on weekends, then stay at home. Where is that man? A person may be anywhere, but never in one place-your home, your parents' home! Therefore, the leftover women must go out of the house. Think about it. You live with your parents. At ten o'clock in the evening, they will keep calling to urge you to go home, not to mention a man you like to walk you to your door. You can also invite him upstairs for a drink or even spend the night together. People, like animals, should give off their own smell in the process of courtship, and their eyes should be full of longing for the opposite sex, so that the opposite sex can receive your courtship information and get close to you. This is to attract bees and butterflies. Those leftover women who have lived with their parents for a long time have a serene face. Because she is taken care of too well, not lonely, and has no desire in her eyes, she is often misunderstood by men as a married woman! I once misread a single female colleague without a boyfriend as the mother of a child. Because she is really like, her temperament, her aura, really like. Many leftover women are obedient girls (especially in Shanghai) who have listened to their parents since childhood. Love is not allowed in universities, and it is not allowed two years before graduation. Parents will be very excited if a male student slides a note. But as soon as my daughter arrives at 25 or 26, my parents are anxious and ask her why you don't have a boyfriend yet. We are going to introduce a blind date. In their eyes, falling in love doesn't have to study, but it can be turned on and off like a tap. And in their concept, falling in love is all about success, otherwise there is no need to talk about it. Therefore, the youth of the leftover women in China is so short that they can't talk at the age of 22. They were the only ones left when I was 26! ! ! The negative attitude of leftover women is also related to the bad education of parents. When their parents were young (70-80), it was difficult to stay, because go-vern-ment wouldn't let you stay! You see, every unit has trade unions, women's federations and youth league committees. One of their major tasks is to help single men and women find partners to socialize in steel mills and textile mills. Neighborhood Committee cadres are also matchmakers and will not let go of any single family. Therefore, in those days, as long as there were girls staying at home, someone would naturally propose. In addition, in that era of great political pressure, individuals have no freedom. Today, most of the post-80s parents have never experienced any decent love. They just get married for the sake of getting married, make do with it, and endure it if it is not good after marriage. Premarital sex is even less. At that time, as long as men were honest and women were virtuous, they would get married. Anyway, everyone is equally poor, and there is nothing to choose from. But what about today? If we go back in time and turn the parents of the post-80s generation into young people, I believe they will be confused in the face of such a complicated social environment! Today, men and women have many choices and a lot of freedom, but it is precisely because of too many choices that you need your own judgment and decision-making ability. Don't think that your parents can guide you how to fall in love, get married and live. All they can give are bad ideas, which can only be used in the rules of their time and will not help you at all. Think about it, how many men/women have your parents experienced in their lives? 90% is just one. Just as they can't guide your career planning today, they have been powerless for a long time. 3. Narrow and contradictory mate selection conditions I wrote a post before, "Do you have contradictory requirements for men? "Every lecture lets the leftover women write down their own mate selection conditions, and a large wall can be filled with all adjectives that are good for human beings. If it is a perfect match, then this person must be a god! I often ask leftover women to carefully analyze their conditions, whether it is possible for a man to have it at the same time, and whether there is such a species on the earth. For example, a man should be romantic, humorous, sexy and attractive, and at the same time be completely isolated from other women except me. A man should have a successful career, be in a high position, and not be too busy at the same time. He should always watch TV with me at home. Men should be obedient, homesick and do housework, and at the same time be far-sighted and far-sighted. The reason is that, first of all, the leftover women haven't experienced many men, and the worst thing is that they haven't been in love in their thirties. What is a man? I don't know from the physical structure to the psychological structure, just think for myself. And I don't know what my real needs are, and I don't know the difference between HR looking for employees and women looking for men. I'm not looking for the right person to fall in love with, but looking for the winner, but I believe the winner is not interested in the leftover women, and the reality is so cruel. My concluding speech to the leftover women is to break all the rules and regulations and tap their real inner needs, instead of the pan-social theory of success, casting a wide net and throwing away husbands in an eclectic way. 4. Pale and conservative lifestyle Many leftover women have been living a two-point and one-line lifestyle since their school days. The university also goes home day after day, as if it were four, five and six. It's still 2: 11 after work, but the school has changed its work unit. Friends are middle school and college kittens. When they leave school, they seem to have lost the ability to make friends. This is the life of many people in China. There is only family and professional life in life+,but there is no very important social life, and there is no social life at all. Leftover women are used to attributing the small circle of life to my lack of socialization because of my work characteristics. Excuse me, what profession has a social circle? Has been working in fashion, including public relations, marketing, fashion magazines. This is an industry where everyone should have the most social circles, but I can tell you responsibly that this is an industry with a particularly large number of leftover women. Because 80% of employees are women, all colleagues, customers and suppliers are women. Finally there's a man, and he's gay. In this industry, if you don't work hard to develop your social circle, there will be no socialization, only work.