What happened to those who left Beishangguang?

I met a very sad thing recently. A good friend of mine suddenly told us that he would leave Shanghai, go back to his hometown and leave at the end of the month. He studied and worked in Shanghai for six or seven years, but now he wants to say goodbye to all the time. And after that, we don't know if we really have a chance to meet again.

Beishangguangshen, go or stay? This is not the choice he faces alone. From the first time I came to Shanghai, most of the topics we talked about were job opportunities and future expectations. In the past two years, everyone will invariably mention the same question when they meet. What are your plans for the future? Want to stay?

The reason why there is such a choice is that the two ends of the scale have their own advantages and disadvantages, and in our trade-off, we are mixed with the unwillingness to dream, the hope for stability, and the pull of various complicated emotions.

So today, let's take a look at what happened to those who left Beijing, Guangzhou and Shenzhen. Perhaps, the answer in your heart will gradually become clear.

0 1.

"Going home gives me confidence,

But I didn't expect to get married. "

Cao Cao, female, left Beijing at 28 years old.

After returning from America, I stayed in Beijing for three years because of my work. Last year, I returned to Xi 'an, my hometown. I have been a proud person since I was a child. My family condition is not bad, and my appearance and education are not bad. But in those years in Beijing, I really felt that I was at the bottom of the blind date chain, just because I was not from Beijing.

At that time, when my friend introduced me, once I heard that I was not from Beijing, I basically wouldn't contact again when I went home. Later, I was particularly afraid that people I just met would ask me where I came from. I realized that if I don't leave, this deep-rooted spiritual gap will be an obstacle that I can never cross. Last year, under the persuasion of my parents, I returned to Xi. Going back is really a sense of belonging. I feel my waist straight when I speak dialect. I have a house and a car at home, and I don't feel inferior anymore.

But I didn't expect that I had confidence, but I was also discriminated against and excluded because of my age. 28 years old, in Beijing, I don't think it's too big or too small. There are many unmarried people around me at this age, but my family is different. When someone introduces me, there is always a meaningful pause when I am 28 years old, and then I look up and down.

That kind of feeling, just like you are a slow-moving commodity on the shelf, not only can't sell it, but you will also be picky and rejected. I met a little brother who is very talkative, but the other family is not satisfied with my age, and I am not a person who can compromise myself. I can't stand other people's eyes, so I just don't waste time, but I'm still sad for a long time.

Sometimes, anger may be more violent than sadness. Compared with the registered permanent residence in Beijing, age is my helpless injury, and it is also a more unreasonable prejudice. But I never regret going home, because it means that no matter what kind of injury, there will always be the warmest company. I still have expectations for love. I believe I will meet someone who is willing to accept everything from you. You must wait.

02.

"I'm getting poorer and poorer when I get home.

But it is getting more and more comfortable. "

Damon, male, left Shanghai at the age of 29

The reason for going home is actually quite simple. I can't afford a house in Shanghai, but I have everything at home. At that time, the only thing I struggled with was salary. My home is in Chengdu, and when I go home, my salary is about half that of Shanghai. I'm worried that my quality of life will be affected.

At that time, my family and friends advised me that although I earned less when I went home, the cost of living was much lower, which was similar in conversion, but now I understand that this statement is actually unreasonable.

17 Return to Chengdu. I feel very stable when I have a house at home and live by myself. It's really pleasant to invite friends to visit us once in a while, have a drink and talk about life. I don't have to worry about raising the rent, or the landlord will temporarily take back the house and be thrown out, saving the rent, but I have to pay the property fee myself.

In terms of food, my mother occasionally comes to cook for me, but I don't think the expenses will be greatly reduced. Usually, I get together with friends, eat, drink and have fun. In shopping malls, ktv and cinemas, the expenses are not much different from those in Shanghai, as well as shopping and tourism. These things won't become cheap just because you change cities.

Tourism is also an important part of expenditure. When I was in Shanghai, I always went out by subway. I rented a house near my company when I went to work, and the distance was very close. When I get home, I always drive out and go wherever I want, which is convenient. I feel that the quality of life has improved several grades, but gas money, parking fees and maintenance fees are also increased living costs.

In fact, I also calculated this account later. After I returned to Chengdu, I spent more every month and earned less than before. But your wallet is empty and your heart is full of happiness. You won't panic at all, because this is your home, and even if you don't have any money, you won't starve to death. I used to be alive, but now I feel real and alive.

03.

"My best friend now,

15 has no connection. "

Anonymous, female, 25 years old, left Shenzhen.

I am a person who is afraid of trouble and can't take good care of myself. Two years ago, my mother ordered me to pack my things and go home from Shenzhen after knowing that I fainted from anemia several times.

At that time, I struggled for a long time, mainly because there are a group of close friends here, who can accompany each other whenever they encounter anything or are free on weekends. When I got home, I didn't know anyone. After graduation, many of the friends I knew as a child went abroad, and some stayed abroad. There are few friends at home. I'm afraid I'll be lonely without friends when I get home. But for physical reasons, I still went home.

At that time, when I said goodbye to those friends in Shenzhen, I cried so badly that I sent a circle of friends to leave Shenzhen and wanted to say goodbye to that time solemnly. I didn't expect to be involved in the fate of me and another person. At that time, my friend (Hua) was my primary school classmate, and I haven't contacted him for more than ten years. She left a message in my circle of friends saying, come back and play together.

At first I just thought it was a greeting, but then she really asked me to meet. Knowing this relationship from an early age seems to have a kind of magic, which makes two almost complete strangers naturally open themselves up and exchange stories and experiences with each other for more than ten years. This familiarity, coupled with our close proximity, frequent meetings and close contact, has made Gao Xiao my best friend now and given me great energy to support our friendship.

In the 1 years since I returned home, I have made many new friends, and my relationship with them is more stable than when I was in Shenzhen.

Maybe it's because I know that people I know at the moment probably won't leave this place, and we don't have to face frequent parting, so we can invest and manage every relationship without reservation. We may really be friends for life, the kind that we can see and touch. And living in such a relationship, I have become calmer, more secure and no longer wandering.

04.

"For some people,

Wandering has a fatal magic. "

ZX, female, left Shanghai at the age of 28

Like most people, whether I need to settle down in a certain period of time has become a question that I have been thinking over and over again. I'm very upset. After graduation, I tried many careers such as marketing planning, self-media, product manager and artist promotion. I always feel that there is still a lot of time in life, and there are still many things to experience slowly. I don't want to simply follow a straight line through my life.

But when I gradually realized that there were more and more people around me, even after 00, I felt alienated and old, and I began to become anxious and doubt myself. Is it irresponsible to keep changing lines? How to resist the position that cannot be promoted in the workplace and the economic pressure it brings? Am I wrong?

During that time, I felt that I needed a relatively stable environment for healing and long-term development, so I returned to Nanjing from Shanghai.

The day I just got home was really comfortable, with parents cooking and a nine-to-five job. I even advised my friends in Shanghai to go home quickly and enjoy the "family happiness". But man, after a long time, you will find that what is in your bones cannot be changed. After about three or four months, I felt irritable and anxious.

I've changed. I no longer want to solve things by myself, but I am the first to ask my parents for help and I am too lazy to make new friends. My daily entertainment is eating and playing cards with several girlfriends in junior high school. I used to watch exhibitions and plays, but these hobbies faded out of my life for objective or subjective reasons. In my eyes, simple and ordinary little days are a sign that the whole person has been abolished in the eyes of others.

So I returned to Shanghai at the beginning of this year. People with wind in their bones can't stop.

05.

Accompanied by the company,

Is an inevitable conflict. "

Atao, male, aged 25, left Guangzhou.

The reason why I left Guangzhou is simple. I want to spend more time with my parents. Maybe my family is a little special. My father is ten years older than my mother, and he is almost sixty this year. How terrible is this for me? My grandmother died at the age of 62. To be realistic, I really don't have much time to get along with my parents.

Because of the big age gap and the big generation gap, I was ready to quarrel before I went back. I thought at that time, as long as I endure, my left ear goes in and my right ear goes out, but in fact, when I really face conflict, sometimes I will collapse.

How trivial can it be? First of all, diet should be managed. You must eat three meals a day. Brunch does not exist. Be careful when you wear clothes. If you wear less in winter, you will be said to show your ankles. If you don't come home around 7 o'clock, you will be followed. There are still many things to nag about. The room is too messy, you don't like falling in love, you don't like drinking water ... in short, almost everything you can think of will be recited.

And because the intergenerational gap between my parents and me may be larger than that of ordinary families, there may be more and more differences and differences on many issues. I still remember someone telling me that nagging is a way for parents to find topics to bring you closer? Whether it is or not, I will really put up with it.

To tell the truth, I have thought about going back to Guangzhou for countless times in my mind, but I am very clear about the most fundamental reason why I chose to go home, which makes me firm enough to stay. I don't know if there are any other variables in the future, but I know very well that I will stay with my parents until they leave.

For others, I think if there is no such strong will, don't choose to go home easily.

06.

"I'm doing well now,

I have never considered staying in Beishangguang. "

Not to be named.

Watching a large number of graduates flood into Shanghai every year makes me feel crowded and headache. I went to college in Shanghai, but I never thought about staying. After graduation, I went to Hangzhou directly, and now I have a good life.

Indeed, many people say that there are better resources and more development opportunities in the north, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, but I know very well that I need a comfortable life more than these.

Hangzhou is a compromise choice, not far from my home (Wuxi), and the house price is not as abstract as Shanghai. I don't need to bear too much pressure, and it is also my personal favorite city. Its greening level is very high, like a big park, and there are also many cultural and natural landscapes. I feel relaxed when I walk occasionally.

I especially like Longjing. I can go to the tea garden for a cup of tea and put aside any boring things for the time being. Personally, I feel that working in this city will not be much worse than Shanghai, but life will be really much more comfortable. Before in Shanghai, I felt that the city was like floating in mid-air, and I felt lively and lonely. After moving to Hangzhou, I felt much quieter and settled down.

People don't need complicated social communication, and because there are not many practical problems to consider, they are easier to get close to and communicate more stably.

Overall, five-star recommendation. There are a lot of delicious food, a lot of fun and a lot of beautiful girls (just kidding). Compared with the north, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, there are many cities that can make people happy and comfortable, as long as you are willing to make a choice and then try bravely.

In fact, everyone's choice and life are unique stories of ta. Whether you stay in the north, Guangzhou and Shenzhen or choose to leave, there is no right or wrong.

Some people who leave will feel sorry, some will get what they want, and even get a surprise. I'm thinking, maybe in a few years or decades, their feelings may be completely different, or maybe.

The result is not that important. Time, emotions, tasks and events are all fluid and changeable. After all, we can't see the way home clearly. The only certainty is this moment, only the present life.

Whether to go or stay may not be so important. Because, as long as you love it, there will be happiness wherever you are.

Today's Interaction: Which city do you live in now? Do you like the city where you live? Come and share it with everyone in the comments section ~

KY author /47

Editor /KY creator