Is the second married husband unwilling to give money? (The second husband does all the housework)

Aunt Fang, 56, said that her second wife, Lao Zhang, was too stingy with her and made her feel that she had suffered a loss. She wanted to divorce Lao Zhang, but he refused, and she got the support of Fang Ayi's 80-year-old mother, which forced Fang Ayi to give up her divorce plan.

Although Lao Zhang is stingy, he is willing to do anything at home. He is not only a good cook, but also a man who is not good at washing clothes, mopping the floor and cleaning the house. He also did a good job and never let Aunt Fang worry about housework.

The only thing that makes Aunt Fang dissatisfied is that he always asks Aunt Fang for money for various reasons. Even if she bought an onion at home, he asked Aunt Fang to pay half of the money, which made Aunt Fang feel hateful and ridiculous.

Aunt Fang:

I am 56 years old, and I remarried Lao Zhang, 63 years old, a year ago. Before remarriage, I didn't realize that Lao Zhang was such a stingy person. If I had known he would fight with me, I wouldn't have been with him.

When I first met him, he behaved normally. Every time I meet him, he will bring me some fruits and snacks, which makes me feel particularly sweet.

Who knows that he has completely changed since we remarried. Every time he buys something, or pays the gas, water and electricity bills, he will let me share it, and he is not ashamed at all.

Even if I call him stingy, he is not a man and he is not annoyed. He always smiles and makes me scold enough, but when I scold him, I still have to pay him a lot of money.

My monthly pension is not high, only more than 3 thousand, and Lao Zhang's pension is more than 5 thousand I thought Lao Zhang was a hero, and remarriage with him would make me more financially comfortable.

But after living with him, I found that I overestimated him. He has a son who has to pay more than 5,000 yuan in mortgage every month. Although the stepson earns more than 10,000 yuan a month, it is really uncomfortable for him to support his wife and children with the money.

Lao Zhang subsidizes his son 3,000 yuan every month to help him reduce the pressure of repayment, leaving only 2,000 yuan left in his 5,000 yuan monthly pension.

For these, he didn't say a word before he remarried me, otherwise I wouldn't have married him. The principle of my remarriage is: even if I can't spend my second wife's money, I will never let him spend mine.

I think, since I married this man, he has to pay for my food, clothing, housing and transportation, otherwise I would rather be single than live with a bad old man.

I think I was cheated by Lao Zhang. His generosity before marriage gave me the illusion of his generosity and made me feel at ease to marry him.

Who knows that after he got me, he showed his true colors and undoubtedly showed Grandet's demeanor. The longer I live with him, the less I want to be with him and even have the idea of divorce.

Marrying him lowered my living standard and made my already small pension worse. I have a daughter. Although her life is very good, I don't need to supplement her. But as a grandmother, I must express some thoughts to my only little grandson.

I used to give my grandson a big red envelope every Children's Day or his birthday. During the Chinese New Year, I even wrapped a big red envelope of 10,000 yuan.

Although I don't have much money, I must make these noodles well. The son-in-law is very rich, and her daughter's in-laws give her grandson a red envelope of 10 thousand yuan every New Year. There are also many holiday red envelopes, and her birthday is doubled.

As a grandmother, how can she be timid about money and be looked down upon by her in-laws? Even for my daughter, I can't be surpassed by my in-laws, humiliating my daughter, and making her look down at her in-laws' house. Therefore, even if I scrimp and save at home on weekdays, I will still give big red envelopes to my grandchildren on various anniversaries.

But since living with Lao Zhang, the expenses have been much higher than before. I usually eat very lightly, mainly vegetarian, so I don't spend much money on food. But Lao Zhang is a heartless person. He cooks a big table of meat and vegetables and drinks a little wine every meal.

Lao Zhang drinks and eats meat every meal. Even in the early hours of the morning, he has to cook several dishes and sit at a table with a lot of money. He said that the greatest happiness in life is drinking and eating meat, and this way of eating costs a lot of money a month.

Although I seldom eat meat, I still have to share the cost with Lao Zhang. In this way, I spent half of my monthly pension on food.

The remaining 1000 yuan, and I have to share the expenses such as water, electricity, gas and property with Lao Zhang, plus personal expenses such as buying clothes and skin care products on weekdays, there is not much pension left every month.

After living like this for half a year, I feel I can't stand it anymore. Because I was about to face the Spring Festival at that time, but every month was a moonlit night, and the 10 thousand yuan red envelope for my grandson was nowhere to be found.

Even if I have no money, I can't give my grandson a red envelope. I have to borrow money from Lao Zhang to help me tide over the difficulties first, and then pay him back when I have saved enough money.

Who knows, he stood up and said that he didn't have that much money. As soon as I heard him say that I had no money, I got bored immediately. No matter the coming Spring Festival, I had an earth-shaking argument with him. I called him a loser, saying that he was a big man, lived most of his life, and couldn't even get out 10 thousand yuan.

No matter how much I scold him and destroy him, he always scolds him and doesn't fight back. Although he has a good attitude, he still won't give me money. Later, I borrowed money from my sister to tide over the difficulties.

From then on, I was completely disheartened by Lao Zhang and had no hope for our future life. I think living with him is not as happy as living alone. At least I live by myself, so I don't have to worry about money.

After I thoroughly thought about these issues, I formally filed for divorce with Lao Zhang. Lao Zhang thought I was angry with him at first, and didn't take it to heart. It was not until I forced him to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau with me to get a divorce certificate that he finally realized that I was serious.

He kept asking me, saying that he was too kind to me, that he did all the things at home, and that he made me the shopkeeper of cutting at home, and lived a mouth-to-mouth life every day. What is there to be satisfied with?

I took his meanness and meanness as a few treasures, saying that as a woman, I would share the family with him, which made me unable to save even the red envelope money for my grandson in the New Year.

I'm tired of this life and don't want to entrust him with the rest of my life. If I continue to live with him, I will not be happy in my later years.

Lao Zhang saw that I was determined to divorce him, and tears came down. He cried and begged me not to leave him, saying that although he didn't spend a penny for me, he really loved me.

In order not to divorce me, he even went to my 80-year-old mother's house and asked her to persuade me not to divorce him. My mother didn't know why, so she called me to her side and cursed me.

She said I was a big girl, and I had to get married and get divorced. Won't that make people laugh? Mother said I was not ashamed and could not tolerate her old face. In order not to let my old mother worry about me, I had to promise my mother against my will not to divorce Lao Zhang again.

Although I hate Lao Zhang's meanness, he also has many advantages. He is very considerate. When I am sick, he will take the initiative to accompany me to see a doctor and take good care of me at home.

Lao Zhang is a very diligent person. He not only cooks delicious food, but also always keeps the house clean. Even if I do nothing at home, he never finds fault with me and doesn't dislike my laziness.

On the one hand, I enjoy Lao Zhang's kindness to me, on the other hand, I feel that I have suffered financially. Seeing that other sisters have been raised by men since they married their second wife, not only do they not need living expenses, but men also give pocket money from time to time, I feel particularly envious.

Sometimes it is particularly contradictory and I don't know how to choose. If I don't divorce Lao Zhang, I will always feel wronged and feel that my life is not as good as that of other second-married women raised by men.

If I insist on divorcing Lao Zhang, I'm afraid my mother will be angry about it and will never forgive me. I am more worried that I will really divorce in my later years, as my mother said, and let my relatives and friends see jokes, and I will never lift my head in my life.

Because this marriage is difficult to divorce, I changed my mind and began to strictly control family expenses. I must control my living expenses to a certain extent, and I can't be a moonlight family anymore.

Under my guidance, Lao Zhang gradually gave up alcohol addiction and went on a light diet like me. In fact, when people reach a certain age, a light diet is very beneficial to their health. Since Lao Zhang quit the bad lifestyle of drinking and eating meat, even his hyperlipidemia has dropped for many years, and he no longer needs to take medicine.

As a result, the expenses at home have dropped a lot. Although I still haven't reached the ideal level, Lao Zhang is willing to do all the housework, which makes me find some balance in my heart.

However, Lao Zhang is too stingy with me, and I can't pass. The idea of divorce often appears in my mind.

Conclusion: In Mencius' I Want Fish, I wrote: Fish, I want, bear's paw, I want. You can't have your cake and eat it.

"Fish and bear's paw" is a dilemma that we often encounter in the process of life. It is difficult to have it both ways because "I want what I want."

In this world, nothing is perfect, and it is almost impossible to get what you want. In this case, it's better to straighten your mind, seize what you can get, give up some wild dreams and make yourself happier.

It is an eternal truth that there is a gain and a loss. Sugarcane is not sweet at both ends, and there is a gain and a loss.