How to reduce arguments and keep silent?

As the saying goes, "No matter how smart a person is, he will lose if he worries more." No matter how clever a person is, he can't guarantee that his views will always be correct. Those who are in favor of it are against it. The so-called "disaster comes from the mouth", if you talk too much, you will definitely be criticized. Therefore, it's best to be cautious, reduce arguments and keep silent.

Language is silver, silence is gold.

Many people in life always like to express their views and state their views; But sometimes, your opinion is not necessarily correct, and your opinion is not necessarily reasonable. Therefore, in many cases, the expression of anxiety is not necessarily more useful than silent listening, especially when you want to ask questions or disagree with others' views, it is more important to think deeply. Some questions are not worth asking at all. There is no need to turn small differences into big conflicts. Because it is unwise to spend time and energy obsessing over small differences. In addition, when your own or others' emotions burn, it is best to keep silent about differences. As the saying goes, silence is golden. Proper silence can not only control one's emotions, but also give the other person time to sort out his thoughts. A famous person said: Silence is charming and powerful. In order to communicate effectively, we must know how to use this most valuable communication tool-silence.

Many people in life are ready to attack others in order to ensure their own interests. Therefore, you must be careful, even if you say nine out of ten correctly, you may not be praised, but if you say one wrong sentence, you will often be accused; Even if nine of the ten schemes are successful, they may not be successful, but as long as one fails, complaints and accusations will follow.

You should make good use of the law of silence in things you don't understand. You can observe the attitude of others, see what others say, and not express any opinions, which may bring you unexpected results.

After Edison, a great American inventor, invented the telegraph, Western Union, a big company at that time, offered to buy his new invention. But at that time, no one knew how much this thing was worth, what it could develop into and how much it could bring. Besides, Edison was not good at business. All he knows is that he invented such a thing that someone will buy it. So, he doesn't know what the value of this invention is. Edison's wife offered that if they could agree to give us $20,000, we would be satisfied. "This is too high." Edison felt that he had never dared to think about this price. But since Mrs. Wang proposed it, I might as well give it a try, so Edison got up the courage to come to Western Union, although he thought the asking price was a bit too high. Western Union warmly received him and said that although he made an offer, when the representative of Western Union asked Edison how much he wanted, Edison still felt that the price of 20,000 dollars was too high, and he was a little embarrassed to say it, so he had to keep silent. Unexpectedly, the representative saw Edison's silence and had to put forward his own ideas, saying that the company was willing to pay $654.38 million+for Edison's telegraph.

This story truly embodies the truth that silence is golden. At least for Edison, his silence won him an extra 80 thousand dollars.

It was Edison's silence that made him really understand the value of his invention, the psychological price of western joint companies and the importance of business knowledge. As Guiguzi said: Therefore, being kind to the listener is to change ghosts and gods to get their feelings; Want to hear its voice, silence. That is, people who are good at listening silently can observe and understand the real situation of others. Therefore, a gentleman would rather be taciturn than impulsive; It's better to be clumsy than to be smart and superior. Everything must be thoughtful and targeted, try to avoid conflicts and tell yourself to remain silent. Listen calmly and keep silent in the face of things you don't understand. When you learn the law of silence, you will find that the world becomes wider.

It is better to be a teacher than a teacher.

Confucius once said: A threesome requires a teacher. In other words, everyone has his own strengths, whether rich or poor, smart or stupid, he may know more than you in some ways. Therefore, we should learn from the strengths of others, so that we can make continuous progress.

It is not easy to be a teacher, because in essence, everyone is trying to build a solid self-protection barrier to master their inner autonomy. This makes people like to start from their own narrowness and self-righteousness, and it is difficult to learn from others willingly and humbly.

Compared with being a teacher, being a teacher is something people like to do. "Being a good teacher" here certainly does not mean being a teacher, but that many people like to point at others. Although some people feel that they can't stand by and watch others make mistakes out of kindness; Or self-righteous, think that there is something wrong with other people's ideas, and only his is right. In fact, even kindness contains self-righteous ideas. They didn't realize that maybe others, like him, always thought their ideas were correct. Therefore, from the perspective of human nature alone, "being a good teacher" is unpopular.

As the saying goes, "A man's trouble lies in being a good teacher". If an uneducated person is a good teacher, it will make people feel disgusted and disgusting, and even become the laughing stock of people's sarcasm.

Zhong Weak Weng was a traitor in the Song Dynasty. This man likes poetry and calligraphy, but he doesn't learn much. He likes pointing fingers most. It is said that everywhere he goes, he likes to belittle the calligraphy and painting on his forehead. He always wants people to remove those calligraphy and painting, and then write something to make up for it. But his level is very limited, and everyone doesn't like what he writes, but it's hard to say because of his status and feelings.

On one occasion, Zhong Weak Weng went to Luling and passed a temple on the mountain. There is a very beautiful attic in the temple, which is engraved with poems. Zhong Weak Weng naturally won't miss this opportunity, so he went to see it with his peers. When he approached, he only saw the inscription "Dinghui Pavilion" in the attic, and the name of the inscription next to it was not clear.

Zhong Wei Weng saw that this was just a small temple in the mountains, and he couldn't see the name of the inscription clearly. He thought it must have been written by an unknown person, so it was useless to comment on the shortcomings of the inscription unscrupulously. Everyone who came with me thought the calligraphy of inscriptions was wonderful and rare. Although I know Zhong Weak Weng has always been a good teacher and likes to criticize others at random, I didn't expect him to be so ignorant and ungrateful. Zhong Weak Weng, however, was unaware of people's dislike of him. He was unappreciative and asked a young monk at the door to bring a ladder, trying to take down the inscription and replace it with his own "Mo Bao". But when the young monk moved the ladder, he took down the inscribed plaque, wiped it, and looked carefully, only to find that it was written by the great calligrapher Yan Zhenqing. Zhong Weak Weng forced himself into a group in front of everyone and said, "How can such calligraphy and painting not engrave stone tablets?" So he ordered his men to carve the stone tablet and leave in a hurry. The story spread quickly, and Zhong Weak Weng became the laughing stock of people.

A good teacher like Zhong Weak Weng who is unlearned will surely become a laughing stock. Even if he has some knowledge, he can't be a good teacher and point out others.

In interpersonal communication, worshiping others as teachers and being a good teacher will get two completely different results. In other words, in the crowd, learning from others can not only promote their own growth, but also satisfy each other's sense of superiority and vanity. From the perspective of human nature, this means that you agree with each other's ideas, which will certainly give people great satisfaction. So admirers are often liked and recognized by most people. On the contrary, being a good teacher is not a desirable thing. No matter what kind of mentality you are based on, no matter whether your point of view is right or wrong, good or bad, once you take the initiative to point it out, if the other person and you are not close friends or family, it is very likely that he will not only accept your kindness, but also adopt an unfriendly attitude.

Every ounce of sand makes a pound of wool.

As the old saying goes, if you don't accumulate small streams, you won't be a river or a sea. Everything in the world is accumulated and grown up bit by bit, and the wealth of human knowledge is also slowly developed. Specific to personal success and wealth, of course, we must be patient and slowly accumulate. The vast majority of rich people at home and abroad have accumulated great wealth step by step by sweat and wisdom.

In 1930s, He Shanheng came to Hong Kong to look for development opportunities. He set up a joint venture with several friends and opened Hang Seng Bank at 70 Yongle Street, Central. Although the capital stock was limited at first, He Shanheng worked hard and was good at management, so his business gradually improved. With the business getting better and better, other relatives and friends, such as ants, are scrambling to make suggestions on human stocks, so the capital is gradually increasing and the scale is expanding. At that time, besides He Shanheng, there were also Liang Zhiwei and Sheng. Hang Seng Bank's business is distributed in Hong Kong, Shanghai and Guangzhou. Bing Yim Lam is the head of the Hong Kong headquarters, while He Shanheng stays in Guangzhou, and their business is very prosperous. However, with the outbreak of World War II, Hong Kong fell on Christmas Day at 194 1. In order to escape Japanese rule, Hang Seng Bank shareholders left Hong Kong with funds and fled to Macau for temporary shelter. Because there is another old Hang Seng Bank in Macau, it was renamed Yonghua Bank, which is still a small enterprise.

1In August, 945, the Japanese army was defeated and surrendered, and Yonghua Bank immediately returned to Hong Kong to operate. It resumed business in September of that year and changed back to "Hang Seng Bank". At that time, the war had just ended, and the citizens had already experienced the lesson that "silver paper is useless". During the war, many paper money almost became waste paper, and only gold could preserve its value. Therefore, after the war, people still use gold as the main way to store assets, and only when they need to shop, do they change gold into money. So many people need the services of banks, so the business of Hang Seng Bank is booming, and He Shanheng once again returned to Guangzhou to sit in the town. During the period of 1947, there was a gold speculation boom in Hong Kong, and the price of gold rose rapidly. The bank's business has become the main gold speculation, but the exchange has become a secondary business. He Shanheng is best at speculating in gold, so he went to Hong Kong to be responsible for speculating in gold. In just one or two years, He Shanheng brought huge profits to Hang Seng Bank and became the number one hero of Hang Seng Bank. Bing Yim Lam has been the head of Hang Seng Bank since its establishment. 1949 after Bing Yim Lam's death, He Shanheng became the head of Hang Seng Bank with his own experience and achievements. At this time, He Tian, Sir Li Guowei and others also joined as shareholders. Hang Seng Bank's capital expanded again.

After the war, business development is getting better and better, and Hong Kong's financial industry is booming. 1959, Hang Seng Bank invested heavily to set up its head office in Central. 1 960 65438+1October1,Hang Seng Bank was renamed as "Hang Seng Bank". Since then, Hang Seng Bank has set up branches one after another. By 1965, nine branches have been opened. 1965 is an important watershed in the development of Hang Seng Bank. That year, Hong Kong's economy took off and the real estate market flourished. No matter industrialists or land speculators, they all borrow money from banks, and the banking business is booming. In order to attract depositors, banks compete to do lending business at high interest rates. Overheated enterprises must have the opportunity to cool down quickly. If a bank that borrows too much has bad debts and cannot recover its cash flow in time, there may be a crisis of confidence. Some banks have this situation. In the end, even Hang Seng Bank, which was not in financial crisis, was involved in a run vortex, and customers who withdrew money were crowded with branches of the head office. In desperation, He Shanheng can only get the support of HSBC by selling 565,438+0% equity, and finally tide over the difficulties.

In the 1960s and 1970s, Hang Seng Bank produced a beautiful bank propaganda film to encourage citizens to deposit their money in the bank. Since the 1960s, the name "Hang Seng Bank" has gradually become familiar to Hong Kong people, and Hang Seng Bank has grown up with many Hong Kong people, from a small bank to a large enterprise. By 1969, Hang Seng Bank has opened 39 branches. In the same year, Hang Seng Bank formulated the stock concept of "Hang Seng Index", using 33 most powerful stocks as tools to calculate the rise and fall of the stock market. Since then, the Hang Seng Index has become the official index of the Hong Kong stock market, which is extremely authoritative.

From 65438 to 0972, after the listing of Hang Seng Bank, its capital expanded greatly and its business continued to grow.

Gather the armpits into a fur, and gather the sand into a tower. The purpose of doing business is to make money, as long as there is money, no matter how much or how little. Not only He Shanheng's Hang Seng Bank, but also many wealthy businessmen and tycoons in the world started from small vendors. Walton, an American billionaire, started from retail; The famous McDonald's company made a fortune by operating small hamburgers; Li Ka-shing, the richest Chinese in the world, started from a small plastic flower business. Not just doing business, the success of any life is inseparable from accumulation and hard work. As the saying goes, dripping water can make a sea, and tired soil can make a mountain. From a tree to a forest, it takes years of sunshine and rain. From a civilian to a super-rich, it takes a kind of perseverance and perseverance. Only by patiently accumulating bit by bit and working hard day by day can we achieve final success and harvest our own "forest".

Sincerity is good, wisdom is life.

Sincerity is the lubricant in interpersonal communication. Because there are too many calculations and deceptions in this world, people are often easily moved by sincerity. Not only are there wars between people, but even opposing sides may turn enemies into friends. When you want to make your enemies friends, sincerity is often the most effective way.

During the Three Kingdoms period, Zhuge Liang took advantage of tact and strategy. But the so-called tricks are not all secret calculations, and sometimes sincerity is also a trick.

After Liu Bei's death, there was an armed rebellion in the southern minorities of the Shu-Han regime, and Zhuge Liang decided to go south in person. Before Zhuge Liang led the army, he accepted Ma Su's "best policy, followed by siege;" Psychological warfare is the top, and military warfare is the bottom. Meng Huo, the leader of ethnic minorities at that time, had great prestige and influence in the south. In order to make the Han Shu regime and ethnic minorities develop harmoniously, Zhuge Liang adopted the tactic of "attacking the heart", that is, impressing Meng Huo with sincerity, so he ordered the army to take Meng Huo alive only.

After a battle, Meng Huo was captured alive. Kong Ming didn't kill him or insult him. In order to convince him, he also deliberately showed his soldiers' fighting capacity in front of him, ordered the army to form an array, personally led him to the front, and said to him, "Can you win such an army?" Zhuge Liang just wanted to impress Meng Huo with this sincerity of not concealing his military strength, and at the same time let him know the gap between the two sides' strength, so as to make the two sides live in peace and "harmony is precious". Who knows that Meng Huo is an indomitable man, he replied, "I didn't know the actual situation of your army before, but you defeated it with one move." Now I have seen the position of your army, that's all. " If you give me another chance, I will definitely win. "Zhuge Liang saw Meng Huo defy spirit and let him go. Meng Huo went back to rally his troops to fight again, but he was defeated and captured. He was not convinced, so Zhuge Liang put him back. In this way, Meng Huo really felt that Zhuge Liang was resourceful and well-connected, and did not mean to be an enemy of himself. In addition, his sincerity in seven rescues and seven releases really touched him deeply, and he resolutely surrendered. He said to Zhuge Liang, "The world is very different, and southerners will never turn against each other again! "

Zhuge Liang captured Meng Huo seven times, which has always been talked about by the world. However, people always pay attention to the incisive performance of Zhuge Liang's superb ingenuity in the "seven captures", and often ignore Zhuge Liang's sincerity in Meng Huo's "seven releases".

Zhuge Liang's "seven escapements and seven verticals" not only achieved the goal of making Meng Huo really surrender, but also embodied his great wisdom, which was a kind of recognition and respect for others. In order to achieve the goal of * * * * * *, they tolerated each other and sought common ground while reserving differences.

Make clothes for people and be willing to be a supporting role.

Life is like a big stage, with only one protagonist and many supporting roles. When you are not strong enough or fit to be the leading role, are you willing to be a passer-by in life, or are you willing to be a supporting role and play your due value? The famous poet Lu Li once said: "Always think of yourself as a pearl, sometimes it is the pain of being buried;" Treat yourself like dirt and let everyone trample you into a road! "Sometimes," making a wedding dress for others "and being willing to be a supporting role can better show a person's integrity and mind, thus winning people's respect.

Huang Xing, a famous revolutionary and politician during the Revolution of 1911, said: "You don't have to make your own fame or merit. Secondly, it is also successful and not alive. " In many people's eyes, Huang Xing, with a medium height, strong and stubborn appearance, broad shoulders, strong physique, plump face and black moustache, is "Napoleon of China Revolution". During the Revolution of 1911, there was a saying that "Huang realized his ideal". Huang Xing's spirit of supporting Sun Yat-sen, regardless of personal interests, and fighting for the revolution has made many people respect him.

Before 1905, Sun Yat-sen had no contact with Huang Xing. 1903, Zhang, a native of Hunan province, translated and explained the book Sun Yixian on the basis of a dream in thirty-three years. He thought that "only being competent" was "popular all over the world for a while, and everyone disputed it". It was after reading this book that Huang Xing got a preliminary understanding of Sun Yat-sen's thoughts and career.

1905, Sun Yat-sen came to Japan, and Huang Xing met Sun Yat-sen on the recommendation of Yang Du. More than twenty days later, the "China League" was established. At the inaugural meeting of the China League, it was Huang Xing who proposed that "Sun Yat-sen should be elected as the Prime Minister of the League without going through the election procedure", and Sun Yat-sen successfully became the Prime Minister.

Before knowing Dr. Sun Yat-sen, Huang Xing had already founded the Huaxinghui and independently led the revolution in the two lakes region. Later, many of Huang Xing's friends and comrades became students studying in Japan and became leaders and backbones of the League, such as Song, Chen Tianhua and Liu. Most of the leaders of the Guangfu Association also had a close relationship with him, and important members of the Constitutionalists also had a harmonious and close relationship with him after the Revolution of 1911. Most importantly, Huang Xing almost directly commanded and led most of the armed uprisings, and had a closer relationship with the military. Although Sun Yat-sen engaged in revolution earlier, he was mainly an idealist. In the early years of the Republic of China, people paid attention to practice, and Huang Xing, who enjoyed the reputation of "faithfulness", was naturally favored by all parties.

However, Huang Xing knows that Sun Yat-sen is more suitable to be prime minister than himself. What he is suitable for is to practice and carry out Sun Yat-sen's ideals. It is based on this understanding that before Sun Yat-sen returned to China during the Revolution of 1911, Huang Xing presided over and handled most important political, military and civil affairs, including fund-raising and peace talks, which stood a great test. However, from the League period to the early years of the Republic of China, he never intended to seize the leadership from Sun Yat-sen. Such opportunities appeared in front of him again and again, but he resolutely refused every time and has always firmly defended Sun Yat-sen's "protagonist" image.

Huang Xing's consciousness of supporting role is rare in the whole history of China, and his great personality is everywhere. Supporting roles are not just walk-ons. Being a supporting role can also achieve something.