CEO of Happiness Foundation Real Estate

The most common mistake in management decision-making is that we emphasize finding the right answer, not the right question.

But the real danger is asking the wrong questions.

? -peter drucker, the father of modern management.

Editor: Summer

Every time I come to China, I get a warm welcome. I think I'm home. Many people think that the basic research of my "positive psychology" comes from western thoughts. In fact, on the contrary, many people from China, including Confucius, Laozi, Taoism and Confucianism, all embody positive psychology.

Success will not bring eternal happiness.

Happiness will bring greater success.

In the past 20 years, first of all, I learned the importance of "positive psychology" in every field of life (including business). Happiness is very important for love and children's growth, so what does it have to do with business? Why is it important to the business world?

You may remember how happy you were when you got your first salary. You can treat yourself with your salary or buy things for your parents, but how long can this happiness last? You have become an important person. How long can this happiness last? You have successfully created one thing. How long can happiness last?

Dany is one of my teachers at Harvard. She got a tenured professorship at Harvard, and then she had job security all her life. She can do whatever she wants in the future, instead of publishing articles every year. This is a very happy thing for the professor.

What's it like to get tenure? Happy and ecstatic, but how long can it last? Many people think that after no stress, they will be happy for the rest of their lives. What about those who didn't get tenure? It's gonna be hard. How long will this feeling last?

But we try to find these professors who have or have not obtained tenure in three months. What is their status? They have returned to their normal state and original level. Whether they get it or not will only bring temporary happiness or unhappiness. In fact, people's life is like this: success will have a happy mood, unsuccessful will have a depressed mood, people's life will have ups and downs, and success will not bring eternal happiness.

If we want to be happy, we must understand the relationship between these two variables: success and happiness. In fact, it is not success that brings happiness, but happiness that brings success. The following points can illustrate the important role of happiness:

Happiness will bring positive emotions.

More and more research shows that even if you just add a little positive emotion, it will bring a lot of influence to your workplace. Having more positive emotions will bring more creativity, more new ideas and creativity, which is very important for enterprises. For yourself, for employees and for the company, it is the same truth. The more you participate, the greater the motivation.

2. Happiness will increase the active participation of employees.

The biggest problem in the workplace now is that people are not focused enough. We are faced with all kinds of distractions, such as mobile phones and WeChat. And our energy is always scattered. People come to work, people are there, and their hearts are not at work. If you want employees to participate, you can slightly improve their happiness. When they feel happy and comfortable in the work at hand, employees will have less resistance and higher participation. ?

Happiness will make your body healthier.

For employees, good health means less sick leave, which means that employees' immune system will be stronger, their life will be longer, and they will recover faster even if they are sick. Happiness, like preventive medicine, can prevent diseases.

Happiness will improve the relationship between your team.

People with happiness will have better interpersonal relationships. In the final analysis, making employees happier and happier will help the company to be more successful and bring more profits.

From the above four points of view, getting happiness is the premise of personal or organizational success. At the same time, the success mentioned above will not bring you more happiness, and after a period of time, you will return to the original starting point. So, no matter how successful and excellent I am, will the rest of my life be such an emotional horizon?

In fact, we can become happier and happier. Although our mood fluctuates, the average happiness can go up. This is what positive psychology and happiness bring. The ups and downs can't be eliminated, but we can enjoy them and become happier every day.

Many people ask me, "Are you happy?" I can't answer because I don't know, but I can say that I am much happier and happier today than I was 20 years ago. The key to unhappiness is that you are happier and happier than before.

Emotional ups and downs are a very natural part of life, which will happen to all people and companies. The key is how to be happier. Can you have a different way of thinking, mentality and behavior, whether at work or at home, which will make you happier?

Want to be happy

We must pay attention to reality.

Don't be an ostrich, pull your head out of the sand.

Positive psychology is simple: it focuses on success. If I go to see a psychiatrist, he will ask the first question: "What's wrong with you?" In fact, just asking this question is far from enough. Positive psychologists will ask, "What are the happy things in your life? What are your strengths? " This problem is not to ignore the problem, but to focus on what is useful and effective.

Martin seligman, the founder of positive psychology, said: "The goal of positive psychology is to promote the change of psychology. In the past, psychology only took repairing the worst things in life as its primary task, but now it focuses on building the best quality of life. "

Positive psychology is not about making people look like ostriches, or pretending to turn a blind eye to problems. Is to let people don't ignore your advantages and look at what you want to discuss comprehensively.

Someone asked Jack Welch, the most successful CEO in the world, "Why are you so successful? Give everyone a suggestion. " His answer is: "learn to face up to the problem."

You must see where it is working now. About 20 years ago, there was a book "The Foundation Will Last" written by two professors of Harvard University, james collins and Jerry Bohr. What are the characteristics and differences of the greatest enterprises in the world at that time?

Research shows that one of the secrets of lasting foundation is: "Don't follow the tyranny obtained by dictators, embrace' harmony', and don't be either one or the other."

Many companies say: "the most important thing for success is authorization, and managers should take care of everything." Great companies say, "Sometimes you can delegate and decentralize. Sometimes, everything must be executed perfectly according to the plan, but also micro-managed, and the specific situation is analyzed in detail. " It is necessary to authorize decentralization and properly control it. "This is the genius of harmony.

Don't think that your concern is enough, but it's not enough. It is very important to pay attention to problems, and also to look at the beautiful and favorable places in life and organization. This is also a way of thinking of China: "Balance of Yin and Yang".

The west pays attention to "either one or the other", right or wrong, and there is no middle ground, but in the east, China's philosophy emphasizes the creation of a comprehensive system, which is a very new concept for westerners. Acupuncture is normal, but westerners will be surprised. Westerners are used to "treating the headache and treating the foot pain", but why is the position of acupuncture different? Orientals believe that everything is closely related, we should look at the overall situation, not the small part, but the whole of people and people.

Then, to be more realistic, we should pay attention to reality. What does reality mean? We need to see more reality: good and bad.

In the face of children with difficulties, or vulnerable groups, that is, high-risk groups, previous researchers always started with this question: "Why do these people fail? Why can't they finish their studies? Why is the crime rate so high? Why are many girls pregnant so early? " These questions are normal, but not enough, because many follow-up intervention projects started from these questions, and these intervention projects did not get the final good results.

From 1950 to 2000, 32 countries participated in the research and intervention on this issue. What is the final effect of the intervention project? The validity is zero.

This situation changed in the 1980s. Psychologists found the original plan useless, so they tried to bring about changes. Instead of asking the original question, they asked, "Why do some people succeed rather than fail? What makes some people succeed in adversity? " Although it is a minority, it is also a part of reality. They are stronger and more tenacious, and they have become a neglected part before. Therefore, the focus is no longer on why it failed, but on what worked.

Learn from successful children, although they are not the whole reality, but after getting to know them, you will find that they are tenacious, that is, they will get up and face problems when they fall. Are they born different from mortals? After in-depth study, it is found that they are not born different children, they are no different, but the results are different.

Why do these ordinary children have perseverance? Researchers have found that they usually have the following qualities:

1. They set future goals, which may be small goals or macro goals, but for them, they are important and concerned.

Setting Future Goals: What is your mission? Imagine that you have a magic, and for the rest of your life, no one will know what you are doing. Only you know what help you can give others, and all the good things you have done, only you know. So, at this time, even if no one knows what you want to do, what do you still want to do?

They are willing to pay, volunteer and spare no effort to help others.

There is actually a relationship between giving and receiving. The best way to increase happiness is to help others.

Let me give you an example: how to measure happiness? Test your brain! First, you give some people some money, and then let them spend it as they want. How happy are the people who have done this? Happiness has risen! But here's the problem. The next day, I tested my happiness again and found that it was back to the original level. Shopping will make you happy for a while, and then go back. Do you go shopping every day?

There is actually another side to this study: give these subjects money again, but ask them to spend it on others, such as buying things for friends around them, doing charity, or giving it to homeless people. Flowers can be spent on others anyway. The results show that their happiness has increased, and the increase rate is the same as before, but after the second day, their happiness has only slightly decreased, even after a week, it is still higher than the original normal level, so the best way to help themselves is to help others. In fact, giving and giving are the same thing.

They are optimistic about the future.

They have their own role models, which may be teachers, parents or people in history. These role models can inspire them. In addition, in order for children to find role models, they must first become role models. Children's role models come from environment, community and books. Do you know what is the best book about leadership? It won't tell you five secrets of happiness or leadership. The best book is autobiography, which shows us the reality. Children like reading autobiography very much.

Pay attention to your own advantages

You need to know what your strengths are. Are you sensitive to numbers? Where is your passion? Speech? Strategy? What makes you have unlimited passion?

5. Exercise is very active.

A positive body will contribute to a positive attitude, and regular physical exercise will greatly improve happiness. ?

The balance of yin and yang depends on the pros and cons.

Many times, feelings fail, and people will say it's because it's inappropriate. So, what are the reasons why many relationships fail? If you want a long-term and stable relationship, you should pay attention to the useful places. If you always ignore the beauty of your spouse and dwell on small problems, this relationship will not last long.

Every couple has their own problems. Don't take it for granted that the other person is with me. If you think your partner is not perfect, this is a big problem, because you are not perfect either. If you don't appreciate each other's advantages and are not good at communication, then this relationship will certainly be difficult to go smoothly. After appreciating the advantages, you should create a positive experience and pay attention to the good aspects of the relationship, then the relationship between them will continue to develop.

When will the teacher or principal call the parents to school? When the child has a problem. In fact, it is difficult for children to have self-esteem and self-confidence if they only pay attention to problems.

Of course, in America, people often see the other side. Do you know what the problem is in America? Especially in southern California. Parents there will only tell their children: "You are great!" ?

But looking at children's performance in school, the country with the best math scores is South Korea, followed by Singapore and the United States. American 13 children's math scores are very poor. At the same time, you put this research on your children: "What is your math? Which country has the highest score for children? " American children always think they are the best.

Obviously, children don't face reality in the right way, which is a problem in America because they only focus on positive things. Having lived in Singapore for more than ten years, I don't pay much attention to the advantages of these countries, whether in the workplace or in schools. I don't mean to be like America, which is too unhealthy and not good for happiness.

Actually, what I want to say is the balance of yin and yang. The tradition in China is to tell everyone to have both, and to give consideration to both advantages and disadvantages. In fact, it is the same whether it is on the issue of children or in the workplace.

The real danger is

Asking the wrong question.

Peter, the father of modern management? On his deathbed, Drucker concluded: "The most common mistake in management decision-making is that we emphasize finding the right answer, not the right question." He also said: "The worst mistake is not the wrong answer, but the real danger is asking the wrong question."

Questions will shape reality, and in reality you will only see the questions raised. When we ask why we failed, the created reality can't help. ?

As the problem changes, it also changes the reality. When you ask, "Why do people succeed in the same environment?" So the reality is: goals, flexibility, role models, sports, and finding your own strengths, specialties and passions. It seems obvious, but why didn't you see it before? Because the questions raised create reality, but we don't realize it.

Think hard and think carefully when asking questions! This is the ability that a good parent, leader and manager should have. "What's useful? What are the advantages of employees? " These problems will create a better little world.

By changing the problem, you can change the business process. Take British Airways as an example. I lived in London in the 1980s, when I had to take part in many cricket matches. Later, I refused to take British Airways because I lost my luggage three times, and their reputation was very bad and notorious.

British Airways realized this and wanted to make a change. They went to see a psychiatrist and wanted to improve. The initial question was: "How can we reduce the claims for lost and damaged luggage?" When you are an employee of British Airways, the first thing you do when you come to work is to reduce the claim for lost and damaged luggage. Will you work with passion at this time? You will feel bored, so the solution to this problem will bring little change.

In the late 1980s, they met David Kerr cloth again. Instead of asking this question, he asked, "How can we create an arrival experience that exceeds passengers' expectations? "This question made employees more motivated, created a brand-new method, and then asked a series of questions:" Describe your most unforgettable flight arrival experience as a customer or airline employee. "

Even though British Airways was facing difficulties at that time, there were still many good deeds and successful cases in the harsh environment, and we can still find the bright spots among them. Thank good things first, and good things will add value.

At that time, everything was not smooth for British Airways, but in a small world, there was still a good passenger experience. "Tell a story about your best service recovery, with a wonderful description." Most people ignore the bright spots in most organizations. If you don't discover and appreciate beautiful things, beautiful things will disappear.

Positive psychology must look at both advantages and disadvantages. You can learn from good events and do them over and over again, whether at work or at home. Only in this way can British Airways be greatly promoted. At present, it is a company with a market value of several billion dollars. They can change themselves through the power of questions, but we ask ourselves too few questions and pay too little attention.

Let me give you another example: steel mills. There are thousands of employees in steel works, which is a big but dangerous industry. Accidents often happen, because in order to melt iron, high temperature and large mechanical equipment are needed, so safety is a headache for them. So they found a traditional consultant.

The traditional question is: "How can we reduce safety violations and accidents?" This is a normal problem, but there are still seven or eight accidents every week.

Then I hired an active psychologist. Instead of asking the original question, they changed it to: "When do you think your job is the safest? When did you or others do anything unusual to prevent a safety accident? What if our factory is the safest factory in the world? What changes do you want to make today so that every employee can go home from work safely to see his family? "

The way to face up to safety is not to ignore the original problem, but to give consideration to both. We should constantly appreciate good things in order to create better things. After the problem was changed, the accident dropped by 43%. Problems will define the world. (End)