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How to grasp one's emotions
There will be times in a person's life when he is trapped in chains. Moreover, these shackles that bind your hands and feet are usually not easy to be detected, and people are trapped in them, and their words and deeds are completely bound. This kind of pulling force always makes people feel powerless, and the voyage of life is seriously hindered. What is even more frightening is that these mental shackles often hide great lethality, which will gradually corrode people's hearts and kill people's ambitions until life becomes a mess, and we still can't find the reason.
In life, we will encounter all kinds of things, and naturally our emotions will also rise and fall. But if we allow ourselves to be trapped in negative emotions, then these negative emotions will become shackles that hinder our voyage in life.
Therefore, for people with extraordinary dreams, regulating emotions is a compulsory course in life. Anyone who has achieved something can control his emotions, not be controlled by them. When we feel that our behavior is influenced by emotions and is deviating from the track, we can try the following methods to adjust ourselves:
1.
law
Find a quiet place, close your eyes and stand relaxed.
At the same time, say "1-2-3" silently, inhale deeply and fully, and exhale slowly and evenly.
Dress up as a strange face
Make all kinds of faces in front of the mirror: crooked mouth, twisted lips, upturned nose and squinting. On the one hand, it can relax facial muscles, on the other hand, it can divert attention.
3. Spiritual Victory Law
Tell yourself: "I am the best. If I can't do it, then no one else can. "
4. Improvisation method
Scientific research shows that stress can generate a lot of heat energy in the body, and activities such as walking, jogging, swinging and kicking can release the heat generated by negative emotions and alleviate negative emotions.
5. Close your eyes and rest.
Close your eyes,
Inhale through your nose and calm down.
6. Staring method
Always observe an object, carefully analyze and ponder its color, shape, etc. So as to divert our attention from things that make us feel negative.
7. Entertainment methods
Exaggerated and funny cartoons, melodious music and hilarious film and television works can make people feel cheerful and excited, regain their sense of superiority and restore their self-confidence.
8. Self-suggestion method
Tell yourself: "I am ready, I will succeed", "It is meaningless to be nervous and worried" and so on.
9. Simulation method
Carefully observe the state of people around you, balance your own mentality, and feel good emotions from people with good emotions.
10. Association method
Think back to your successes and imagine those pleasant scenes.
Images, such as blue sky, white clouds, breeze and running water.
1 1. System desensitization method
List the effects you want to achieve and the consequences you are afraid to bear on white paper, and then rank them according to the degree. Then, from the shallowest level, tell yourself the consequences of fear that "even then, the sky will not fall"; Tell yourself what you want to achieve, "even if you can't do it, it won't be as bad as it is now."
For negative emotions, we should adjust flexibly. Sometimes, it is necessary to act decisively, find the root of negative emotions, and solve emotional problems by solving things; Sometimes, we should do a little humility to avoid, turn our attention to the positive side, and wait until our mood improves to a certain extent before dealing with it; Sometimes, when we constantly use various skills to deal with and manage our emotions, our cognition of ourselves will be improved step by step, and at the same time, our emotional intelligence will be improved.
Expression state of emotion
1989,
(
) gives the definition of health: health not only refers to the absence of disease, but also includes physical health, mental health, good social adaptation and moral health. Famous psychologist
It has been said that there are three standards of health: adequate sense of self-security, realistic life ideals and good interpersonal relationships. If you always complain about the people around you, then you need to adjust your mentality. Why should we adjust our mentality? Because emotions have a great influence on people's health.
According to modern psychology, people have nine basic emotions: interest, pleasure, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger, fear, contempt and shame. The first two kinds of interest and pleasure are positive, the third kind of surprise is neutral, and the other six kinds of emotions are negative. Of these nine basic emotions, two are good and six are bad.
For the sake of health, our goal is to shape the sunshine mentality, mobilize two good emotions, namely interest and pleasure, and keep ourselves in a positive mood all the time, and benefit from this positive mood. Here are some simple ways to mobilize your positive emotions:
Change your attitude.
If you can't change anything, change your attitude towards it. A person's injury because of what happened is not as serious as his pessimistic view on this matter. The matter itself is not important, what matters is people's attitude towards it. When attitudes change, things will change. If the heart is sad, the fate will be sad, and the mentality determines the fate.
In ancient times, two scholars, A and B, met a coffin on the way to catch the exam. A said, what bad luck, met a coffin, the exam will be dead; B said, coffin coffin, promotion and wealth. It seems that my luck has come, and I will definitely get in this time. As a result, B really got in and A really fell out of Sun Shan.
In fact, there is not much difference between a and b, and finally this result is obtained because of different emotions about things.
Enjoy the process
Life is a process, not a result. Life is a bracket, the left bracket is life, and the right bracket is death. What we have to do is fill in the brackets. We should put beautiful and colorful things and good feelings in brackets, and life will be over when the brackets are filled.
There is a young man who thinks he has seen through the world of mortals. Every day, he does nothing but sit lazily under the tree and bask in the sun. A wise man asked, young man, why don't you make money in such a good time? The young man said, boring. You must spend all your money. The wise man asked, why don't you get married? The young man said, boring, maybe you want a divorce. The wise man said, why not make friends? The young man said, boring. If you make friends, you may turn your enemies. The wise man gave the young man a rope and said, why don't you hang yourself? You have to die anyway. You might as well die now. The young man said, I don't want to die. The wise man said that life is a process, not a result. The young man suddenly realized after listening.
control oneself
Don't pin your happiness on others, we can only grasp ourselves. If you just expect others to bring you happiness, you will inevitably have fear and suffer from loss.
4. Learn to be grateful
Don't always be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, but always be grateful for what you get. Gratitude can make you feel good. There is a year in the west.
On that day, people will thank others for their help and contribution. An enterprise boss once said that the first thing to recruit employees is whether he is filial to his parents. If they don't even honor their parents, it shows that he is a person who doesn't know how to be grateful at all. Such people will not be loyal to the enterprise.
Learn to bend over
When the pressure is too great, learn to bend. The strong are easily defeated. Laozi once said: "The world is not weaker than water, but it is not better than strong, so it is not easy." Weak is better than strong, soft is better than strong, and the world knows everything. "This sentence means that nothing is weaker than water in the whole world, but nothing can overcome water to overcome difficulties. Weak is better than strong, soft is better than strong. The whole world knows it, but no one can carry it out.
The same is true of life. Extreme ways of doing things will only make both sides lose. It's better to meet each other half way than to get nothing from both sides. Don't think that giving in is a sign of weakness. You know, confrontation is not the only option to solve all problems. Concession is also a kind of wisdom, and often it will win more space for yourself.
Be responsible for your emotions.
The weak let emotions control behaviors, while the strong let behaviors control emotions.
Close the door of fear and worry, and you will have a chance to open the door of hope and confidence. Don't keep any negative memories in your heart, and don't waste time on things that cannot be changed.
You must set yourself a goal: "Today, even now, I must control my emotions." You might as well start with the following:
1.
On the bright side,
Adjusting mood is the same as controlling camera lens. If you aim the camera at rubbish, you will leave a picture of rubbish. If you aim the camera at the flowers, you will leave an image of beautiful flowers. The same is true of emotions. Always looking at the positive will lead to optimism. If you always look at the negative side, you will have a gray mood.
2. Appropriate emotional catharsis
Find a bosom friend to release your grievances, worries, complaints and resentment. Sometimes, emotions disappear once they are vented, but depression makes bad emotions accumulate.
3. Don't be demanding
Modern people have higher and higher demands on themselves and the environment, which leads to dissatisfaction with themselves and the environment. We should treat ourselves rationally and forgive ourselves appropriately.
4. Change the angle of thinking
All stumbling blocks are stepping stones, depending on how you use them. Trauma can teach us something and let us learn something that we can't learn in a comfortable state. Trauma can help us overcome difficulties and discover our own strength. Strong people are good at using the pain of failure and frustration to turn it into a driving force for success.
Pay attention to keep a good mood and avoid emotional "pollution". Let's take a look at the following small ways to avoid emotional "pollution":
1. Control your emotions by yourself
Control your emotions. Find out the reason why you are in a bad mood and try to eliminate it. You can use self-suggestion to adjust your mood. Sometimes, it's hard to rule out the reason why you are in a bad mood. At this time, you should accept it first, and then make self-suggestion. The common method of self-suggestion is self-encouragement, such as saying to yourself, "I am XX, and XX is the strongest!" " This kind of positive suggestion can regulate mood.
2. Adjust emotions with action transfer method
It is also an effective way to keep yourself busy with other things when you are in a bad mood, so that you have no time to think about unpleasant things. In addition, it is also a good way to say what you are unhappy about.
It is a bad habit to vent on others.
We can all understand the harm of bad emotions to people, and it is right to vent them. As a modern civilized person, we can vent our bad emotions, but we can't just vent them on others. We should realize that it is a very bad habit to vent our emotions at will. In public, we should think of others. Emotional problems are not personal. We should learn to adjust and control ourselves. Otherwise, taking it out on others when you are emotional will not only be rejected by others, but also make your life a mess.
4. Greedy mood
Modern psychological research has found that human beings have two kinds of emotions.
One is when getting up early, and the other is before going to bed at night. If we can grasp the key of these two emotions.
At all times, it is easy to get a good mood all day by keeping a good mood and stabilizing your emotions at these two moments.
Purify the mind and empty the troubles.
In the Xia Dynasty, the treacherous warlord Hu Shi led an invasion. Yu told his son to lead the troops to resist and was defeated. His men were unconvinced and demanded to continue the attack. But Qi Bo said, "No need. I had more soldiers and better terrain than him, but he defeated me. This must be because my virtue is not as good as his, and my method of leading troops is not as good as his. "
From then on, Qi Bo got up early to work every day, lived on meager food, tried his best to take care of the people, appointed talented people and respected people with morality. A year later, the Hu family heard what they had done from all directions, not only did they dare not invade again, but surrendered voluntarily.
Why can a person be strong and why can a collective be strong? There are two keys, one is to have a good attitude and centripetal force, and the other is to reflect. Through introspection, we can know the pros and cons, check the gains and losses, and replenish ourselves with new nutrients and spirit. So as to be invincible. Specifically, clearing your mind and reflecting on yourself can bring you the following benefits:
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In interpersonal communication, tolerance is giving and dedication, and it is a magic weapon to establish a good relationship between people; Tolerance is a noble quality, a lofty realm, a mature thought and a rich soul. People who know tolerance are wise people. Self-examination can make people realize the charm of tolerance, clarify the correct thinking, have a harmonious consciousness, give themselves a "true self" and gain a broad mind.
2. Get the criteria for judging right and wrong
The process of reflection, that is, the process of thinking, can make your thoughts go further and broaden your thinking to the maximum extent. Introspection can help you learn to give up what you have lost freely and strive for what you deserve.
You can correct your attitude.
Many people are under great pressure in their work and life. They always feel that their work is very complicated and complicated, and it seems that they have not learned the skills and methods of progress from it. At this time, through introspection, you can review your growth experience, have a quick understanding of your work, and get pertinent evaluation and guidance on all aspects of your work, so as to correct your work attitude, learn methods that can promote your success from your work while working in an orderly manner, and clarify your ideas for upward development.
Some people say: "Tears can wash the soul", some people say: "Beautiful scenery can cultivate sentiment", and some people say: "No.
No matter what way you clean up your mind, you re-recognize yourself in reflection and sort out your feelings and ideals. Give yourself a chance to examine yourself and purify your mind, so that your mind will be cleaner and brighter.
Purifying the mind is a kind of relaxation for the mind. When you are nervous at work and study, you might as well listen to more music and use beautiful music to relieve mental fatigue. Because brisk and comfortable music can not only cultivate sentiment and appreciate beautiful scenery, but also effectively relax people's spirit. In addition, laughter is also a simple and effective way to vent. Don't think it's heartless to laugh when you are in trouble. On the contrary, it can make you forget the sorrow and solve problems calmly.
High EQ is the key to success in life
The word "emotional intelligence" was coined by American psychologist Bede? Larry and John? Meyer proposed it in 1990. They believe that the so-called emotional intelligence is emotional intelligence, including personal perseverance, perseverance, patience, intuition, frustration tolerance, cooperation spirit and so on. Emotional quotient is closely related to people's psychological quality, and it is a person's emotional ability to feel, understand, control and use their own and others' emotions.
Emotional intelligence plays an important role in a person's success. It can even be said that success is equal to 20% IQ plus 80% EQ. Explain that emotional intelligence is the key to success.
A successful master
He served as an adviser to two American presidents. He believes that if a person can do the following 15, then he will certainly succeed:
1) Clear objectives;
2) self-confidence;
3) the habit of saving;
4) Career and leadership;
5) imagination;
6) full of enthusiasm;
7) self-control;
8) don't pay for hard work;
9) Personality charm;
10) the idea is correct;
1 1) concentrate;
12) spirit of cooperation;
13) defeated and failed;
14) tolerate others;
15) implement the golden rule (don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you).
From this, we can easily see that at least 15 of the "success rules" belongs to the category of emotional intelligence, such as self-confidence, self-control, enterprise, charming personality, concentration, cooperative spirit, tolerance of others, and "don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you". Although the law of success and emotional intelligence belong to different fields, it shows the decisive role of emotional intelligence in success from another angle. Therefore, there is a famous saying in American business circles: "IQ determines employment, and EQ determines promotion."
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