My mother-in-law regards me as a tool to carry on the family line.

According to a social survey of thousands of families in Tianjin, 78% of married only-child families think that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very difficult. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, husband-wife relationship and mother-child relationship makes life very tangled. Today's protagonist, Alwen, is unfortunately caught in the whirlpool of "the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law".

Elvin took the initiative to make an appointment with the reporter by phone. One autumn afternoon, the reporter met Elvin, who was gentle as water. There is a beauty mole on the left side of her mouth, so it is easy to be moved to bow her head.

Boyfriend was forced to accept an unsatisfied marriage.

Ai Wen's parents are employees of a large state-owned enterprise in Chengdu. Living in a compound with a strong knowledge atmosphere, Elvin has seen a lot since childhood. In the eyes of elders, Elvin has always been the most sensible and clever little girl in the yard; In the eyes of brothers and sisters, Elvin is their gentlest and kindest big sister.

After successfully entering the university, Ai Wen's gentle and lovely style attracted the attention of many boys. Despite strict family education, Elvin's parents didn't stop her daughter from dating the opposite sex. Because they absolutely believe that the lovely daughter who grew up in such a healthy family environment without communication barriers will be able to grasp the scale and enjoy the purest campus romance.

"It should be said that my relationship with Xie Yu was really beautiful." Elvin smiled shyly, and a little tenderness passed from her eyes to the reporter: "I am in the same grade as him but belong to two departments." At first, I didn't pay much attention to him, but I had a good relationship with a fellow villager in Xie Yu and always set us up.

Oh, I forgot to mention that Xie Yu's hometown is Maoxian, and his hometown is my roommate. I never know how to refuse others' kindness. Besides, although Xie Yu doesn't look outstanding, she is honest and quiet. I have always liked quiet people, so I promised to try to associate with him. After learning the news, Xie Yu smiled sweetly. He said he was happy. "

Love on campus is always so carefree. At the beginning of love, like all girls in love, Elvin simply loved Xie Yu. The two of them made a vow of eternal love. However, with the deepening of communication, Elvin gradually discovered that Xie Yu was paranoid and possessed material money.

"It may be that my family conditions have always been superior. Although I have certain material requirements, it is by no means wasteful and expensive. But Xie Yu always haggles over money, sometimes even unreasonable.

Let's have lunch together. If I say I will pay for the meal, he will take me to the restaurant outside the school. If he pays, then we must eat in the canteen. Although I am in favor of AA consumption between couples, his behavior always makes me feel uncomfortable. "

"I don't deny that Xie Yu is still very kind and takes care of me in life and study, but it's his money view that got me stuck. I have been in college for three years, and he hasn't given me any other gifts except the rose cake for my birthday. This is not what I want, but. Well, you are a girl, so you should understand the girl's mind, right? " Elvin winked at the reporter, very helpless.

Elvin's worries have never been hidden from his careful parents. She has always regarded her parents as friends and told them about her love and current confusion. Ai's parents said that Ai Wen's inconsistent consumption view would bury hidden dangers for his future family.

"The attitude towards trivial matters in life is the easiest to see whether two people are really suitable. In my opinion, my parents' marriage is my role model. I hope to be as harmonious and compassionate as they are, which is exactly what Xie Yu and I can't do together. "

Elvin told reporters that Xie Yu seems to be a good man on the surface, but he is very withdrawn in private. He doesn't want anyone to invade his life and he doesn't want to talk to anyone. He has a strong sense of rejection.

Irwin is a very gentle girl who is highly praised by her classmates. Naturally, she has many friends around her. But Xie Yu regards Elvin as his personal belongings. He doesn't want anyone to touch Elvin. "He told me clearly that he didn't like me to participate in clubs and social activities.

I'm too fragile. I am sad to see that Xie Yu cares so much about me. I can't say no, but I refuse all external communication and keep our love. I am not happy, but I think as long as Xie Yu is happy. "Ivan sighed gently.

The four-year college career is coming to an end, and many college lovers are facing separation. With excellent grades and the relationship between parents, Ai Wen stood out in the civil service examination and determined to work in state organs. Xie Yu's hometown is Maoxian, and he didn't have a job when he graduated. Elvin began to think about breaking up with Xie Yu.

After learning what Elvin thought, Xie Yu cried in front of him many times, saying that he loved Elvin too much to accept the fact of breaking up, and threatened that if Elvin broke up again, he would commit suicide to show his determination. Cowardly Elvin was really frightened by Xie Yu's words, so he had to patiently explain to him, because two people had opposite ideas, and it was really inappropriate to continue.

But Xie Yu didn't listen at all, and insisted on not breaking up blindly, otherwise both sides would lose. "Looking back on the relationship between these two years, sweetness is always more than distress. My heart gradually wavered, and Xie Yu pestered me every day, which made me utterly confused. In addition, there is no principle difference, so under his carrot and stick, I acquiesced to continue to associate with him.

My parents never interfere with my thoughts too much. After beating around the bush several times to remind me to think clearly, they didn't mention anything more when they saw me perfunctory. After working for half a year, Xie Yu's family urged us to get married, saying that Xie Yucai needs a stable family to do well.

Although I have been reluctant, I still walked into the wedding hall obediently. "Elvin dry lips, picked up just good tea, sip slowly.

Diligent mother-in-law's life contradiction deepened after marriage.

After marriage, Xie Yu sold the house in Maoxian County and bought a three-bedroom and two-hall elevator apartment in the east of the city as his new house. Because the decoration spent all the money to sell the house, Fu Xie Xie Mu had to move from Maoxian to Chengdu, move in with her son and daughter-in-law, and wait for Elvin's unit to divide the house.

"I have heard about the difficulties of my mother-in-law, but I have always liked my elders, so I think that as long as I manage my family diligently, I will definitely get my mother's approval. I didn't expect my mother to be so sharp and mean. " Ai Wen told reporters that she is the only son of Xie Jia, and it is human nature for her parents to spoil her.

After marriage, Xie Yusheng was found to be lazy. Instead of educating her, her mother rushed to wash her clothes and cook her favorite meals. Xie Yu didn't find a good job, so she went home and lost her temper. Mother Xie smiled and said nothing, boasting that the recruiter was jealous of her son.

"I think Xie Yu always goes home depressed. Every time I advised him to learn to keep a low profile and find a job to exercise his ability. He also agreed with me and told his mother at dinner.

But his mother pursed her eyes and rolled her eyes at me, saying that some daughters-in-law did not love their husbands and insisted that their husbands go out to suffer. They must be narrow-minded and hide their husbands' money to buy food and clothing. Everyone recognized her mother's scolding, and I was so angry that I couldn't speak. Tears filled my eyes, and I was so wronged. "

On the issue of personal life and career choice, mother Xie indulges her beloved son blindly, but she is as critical and dissatisfied as her daughter-in-law Elvin. Ivan took over the job quickly, and his business was very busy. He often works overtime to sort out his official duties. Naturally, he has some negligence in managing the family. As the saying goes, if you have an old home, you have a treasure.

But thanking mom is definitely a disaster for Elvin. She always cleans Xie Yu's things carefully and puts them in order when she tidies the room, but all her clothes are thrown on the floor and nobody cares. As soon as Elvin came home from work, he swore that Elvin didn't tidy up, forcing Elvin to drag his tired body away before sitting down to eat.

On weekends, young people will inevitably sleep late. It doesn't matter if you sleep, but Elvin can't, because Xie's mother wants Elvin to get up early to buy food and stew. Otherwise, she won't hurt her husband, just amuse herself, and so on, until Elvin gets up and goes out sleepily.

"In this family, his mother is the master, I am a doormat, and he and his father are dumb. A few times, I was really upset by his mother's growl, so I asked Xie Yu to help me mediate, but he could do nothing but make fun of me. But life has to go on, so I try to avoid confrontation with his mother and find an excuse to live at my parents' house on weekends. This is called out of sight, out of mind, alas, "Elvin sighed, his face full of fatigue and helplessness.

If conflicts in trivial matters of life can be solved by avoidance, then Ma Xie and Xie Yu's resistance to Elvin's career will suffocate him. Shortly after Ai Wen arrived at the unit, he happened to meet an industry get-together, set up a number of literary awards, and asked all units to send personnel to participate.

There are not many young girls in Elvin's unit, so Elvin, who looks handsome, was selected by the leader to rehearse a dance program. Unexpectedly, she won a championship in one fell swoop, and the leaders naturally regarded her as the literary backbone of the unit. Since then, whenever there are activities, Elvin will attend.

In fact, newcomers to a unit can get the attention of leaders, which is absolutely beneficial to future development. After several awards, the leader gave Ivan a big promotion, and his salary and bonus were much higher.

On the contrary, Xie Yu has been unknown in his unit. Although he is an out-and-out college student, the junior college students who entered in the same period are rarely reused. The obvious career gap between husband and wife makes Xie Yu and his mother very unhappy.

"I rehearsed for half a month in a row, and I always have to practice late to go home. Not only can't I get a kind word and a bowl of hot food, but I also have to be ridiculed that I am Hua of the unit, showing off everywhere and dancing for the leaders. If I want to get benefits, I'm afraid I'll forget I'm married.

These words are undoubtedly an insult to my personality. I earn money from my work aboveboard. I didn't do anything wrong to Xie Yu. I am responsible for all expenses at home and abroad, but "speaking of which, Elvin's mood became excited." She covered her face with one hand, and tears dripped down her long fingers on the glass table.

Unplanned pregnancy disrupts divorce plans.

Ai Wen, whose family life is not satisfactory, has no choice but to shift his mind to his work. He has excellent business skills and good communication skills, and he is handy in handling personnel disputes in the unit, and was quickly promoted to department director. Just after the Spring Festival this year, after repeated assessment by the leaders of the unit, she gave Irwin the only publicly-funded postgraduate place, let her go to college for three years, and then was directly promoted to the deputy director of the department.

Such a rare opportunity makes Elvin very happy. If the 27-year-old Elvin grasps it well, his future career can soar. "After learning the result, I was filled with joy and took a half-day leave to go back to my parents' home, so that I could share my happiness with them. I took a taxi home at dinner time. I called my mobile phone this afternoon to tell Xie Yu the result, but he didn't say much on the other end of the phone. I thought he would give me a surprise when I came home. "

"I was completely defeated by fucking bullying and irrationality. Instead of congratulating me, she pointed at my face and shouted at me. It's no use reading it. She never graduated from primary school in her life. As someone else's daughter-in-law, I don't want to carry on the family line, but I love to think about it. Reading is no problem. A teacher's grandson will tell her about it. "

Irwin blushed, not shy, but dark red with anger: "I stared into her eyes, and then I suddenly realized that she was jealous that my work was better than her son's, that my achievements were greater than her son's, that I and the people around me were happy, and that she was so ignorant and worldly. It is with such a mother that Xie Yucai can muddle along without making progress. She can only go home from work and lose her temper to relieve the pressure. How pathetic!

This is not only his and his mother's sorrow, but also mine. The sadness they imposed on me suddenly reminded me that I am still young and I don't want to be stuck in this house all my life. I can choose to divorce. I'm not afraid of being alone. I can start my life again. "

Hearing this, the reporter nodded heartily in agreement. This elegant woman has a strong heart! But at this moment, the flame just lit in Elvin's eyes suddenly went out again, and the reporter's heart thumped and sank to the bottom of the sea.

"They want me to carry on the family line for Jie Gu, and they want to use pregnancy to contain me. If I am not allowed to pursue further studies, I just won't let them get what they want. In order to avoid those damn swearing words, I moved to my parents' house despite repeated obstruction and told my story at Xie's house.

My parents are educated people, so I didn't go to Jie Gu for criticism. It's that they help me analyze whether there is really a need for divorce. By my parents' side, the warmth and tolerance of my family made me determined to divorce. "

But something unexpected happened to Owen and his family. Owen, who had been taking birth control pills for a long time, was found to be pregnant for 28 days after vomiting for no reason.

"When I got the test results, I was really stupid. It's good to take the medicine for so long. How could I get pregnant at this juncture! I thought about it for a long time, but I couldn't find the reason. The doctor said that any internal medicine and vaginal contraceptive could have an accident, but how could I have an accident? "

Although Irwin insisted that Xie Yu's family should not know about it, Irwin's parents encouraged their daughter to handle it properly and not to be impulsive. After all, this is Xie Yu's own flesh and blood, and she can't decide for herself. "I finally chose the phone to tell my father thank you. He was very happy on the phone and asked Xie Youma to pick me up.

Sitting in the car, my mind was in a mess, and many things filled my mind. Do you want this baby? Should I choose a new life or continue to bear it? What happened to my marriage?

At that time, I was in tears. Xie Yu's hand suddenly slowly placed on mine. I am asking myself, do I still love this man? If so, why should I divorce? If I don't love you, why should I be heartbroken? "

Only then did the reporter notice the thin Owen, whose abdomen had bulged slightly, and she left the child behind. How can a gentle and kind woman like Elvin abort the baby when she is pregnant? However, in these four months, how did her marriage with Xie Yu and her feud with Xie Mu develop?

Postscript: Elvin's answer explains the reporter's question. She told reporters that from the moment she learned that she was pregnant, she made up her mind to give birth to a child, not for Xie's family, but for the continuation of her blood.

During pregnancy, despite the strong opposition of Xie Mu, Elvin still lived in his parents' home, and Xie Yu moved in despite Xie Mu's obstruction. He told Elvin that he wanted to live separately from Xie Mu after the baby was born and really have his own family.

"It is said that thinking too much during pregnancy is not good for children, so I don't consider divorce now. If Xie Yu can really decide to live separately from her mother, she can really shoulder the responsibility of being a husband and a father. For the sake of the children, I think I will continue to live with him. However, nothing is absolute, and unexpected things always happen. I just don't want to think so much. Take it one step at a time. "

Guest: Murphy (host of economic frequency night show of Sichuan Radio Station and head of Xinglong Store)

Personally, I think there are two ways to be filial to parents: pedantic and clever. Just like the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for thousands of years, smart filial piety is like this:

1. It is best not to live with your parents;

2. Have a good attitude towards parents, but don't necessarily follow their parents' ideas in behavior.

Why should I insist on doing this? There are good reasons:

1. Human nature is selfish, especially between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Xie Yu's mother just used Elvin as a tool to carry on the family line. Tools can be changed at will, but her son has only one;

We must acknowledge the fact that there is a generation gap. The elders and our outlook on life, values, attitudes and lifestyles are very different, even contradictory and incompatible. In filial piety, we can be respectful to our parents, but we are really uncomfortable or can't do what they ask.

My advice to Elvin is: people can be kind, but not too weak. If they are weak, they have no opinion. The cost of living without opinions is too high. Who can you rely on? Your husband? How does your mother-in-law feel? Or your luck.