Classic funny jokes

Collection of classic funny jokes

1. Either be tolerant or cruel

2. A dinosaur was passing by Xi'an Jiaotong University. After coming out of the toilet, she sobbed: "Finally, I don't have to worry about not being able to get married in this life." 3. Giving birth is easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

4. How much sorrow can you have, just like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel?

5. I will not watch you jump into the fire pit, I will close my eyes. of.

6. When problems arise, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation.

7. Make decisions with a pat on your head, make a promise with a pat on your chest, and leave with a pat on the back.

8. We are moving too fast, and our souls can’t keep up?

9. Don’t be like the people on earth~~~

10. Go out and hang out , my wife will have to change sooner or later!

11. When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up, but when I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me?

12 , Even if I were a toad, I would never marry a female toad.

13. Why do you need to sleep for a long time when you are alive? You will sleep forever after death?

14. A tailor who does not want to be a cook is not a good driver.

15. If you tell me to get out, I will get out. You asked me to come back, I'm sorry, go away

16. It's over, you won't pay attention to me anymore, I will ignore you~~!

17. There will be a period after graduation; I will have a wife one year after graduation; I will regret having a wife later; I will have a second wife later; I regret having a second wife the most

18. If I don’t beat you, you don’t know that I am both civil and military.

19. I like you so much, you will die if you like me.

20. I allow you to enter my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in my world..

21. Apart from teeth, the most difficult thing in the world is teeth. And love.

22. We can no longer feel each other’s existence and have completely virtualized ourselves.

23. You think I am a kite. Either fly me away, or keep it and take it home. Don’t tie me up with an invisible emotion and make me sad.

24. The lake is quiet, like a mirror, clearly reflecting the blue sky, white clouds, red flowers, and green trees.

25. I don’t know when I started to like to use words to describe my mood.

26. Things that we once thought we would never forget are forgotten by us in the process of never forgetting them.

27. To admit one’s own greatness is to recognize one’s own foolishness.

28. Having no discernment in your heart is true asceticism.

29. Forgetting is a luxury, and memory is a torture.

30. Even though you are wearing cologne, I can still smell a faint smell of scum.

31. Journey to the West tells us: All the monsters with a backing were picked up, and all the monsters without a backing were beaten to death with a stick

32. I want to think about one more thing I will grow old together with you by accident

33. The merry-go-round is the cruelest game in the world. Chasing each other, but always separated by a sad distance

34. The ideal is full, but the reality is Very skinny

35. It is inevitable to blame the hand of time, and write love as having been in love

36. Waiting for your care, waiting until I close my heart

37 , when I love you, it is what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you.

38. I am not RMB, how can I make everyone like me?

39. If you are destined not to give me the response I expect, then keep at a safe distance. Bar

40. Our goal: look at money and make big profits

41. If you are in a bad mood, go to the supermarket and squeeze instant noodles (so true!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!)

42. Get out of here, non-stop?

43. It is in the dead of night that my longing becomes so unbridled

44. Please don’t take my tolerance of you as your shameless capital

45. Zhuge Liang never led an army before he came out of the mountain. Why do you want me to have work experience?

46. Memories are a bridge, but they lead to a prison of loneliness

47. I will know you are a monster as soon as I open my eyes

48. I am the one who turns you around Forgettable passerby, why should I waste my time with you to the end of the world?

49. Happiness is a comparative level, you have to have something at the bottom to feel it

50. Love is like a ghost, believe it There are many people, but few people you meet

51. I think I will accompany you to the market every day in the future.

52. When will the bright moon come out? Ask Qingtian for wine? Qingtian said: Fuck you, I’m so busy, I don’t have time to care about you, just read the weather forecast.

53. Reading your message quietly, the warmth slowly grows, permeating and tolerating me for a long time. Thank you for letting me accompany you. Thank you for giving me tender care.

54. Beheading is nothing. The scar on my head is no bigger than a bowl. I will be a zombie again in the next year.

55 years old appears on the stage, and the year old is improving every day. Sui Sui has lofty ideals and works hard to become stronger. Sui is basically oriented, and Sui is popular everywhere. I play mahjong and wander around everywhere. 56. I was lazy in bed in the morning, so I took out a coin from my pocket: If six of them are heads, I will go to class! Thinking After a long time, I forgot about it, don’t take this risk?

57. I spent ten thousand yuan to buy a Western Zhou clay pot. Yesterday I went to the "Treasure Appraisal" column for appraisal. The expert said seriously: Where is this? Is it from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is from last week!?

58. I can tolerate fake figures, fake faces, fake breasts, fake buttocks!!! But I can’t tolerate money. Yes!!!

59. Asked a colleague: Have you bought PetroChina? The colleague said: Bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina and Sinopec!?

60. Ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. I was shocked when I ate the first one. Is there any more unpalatable dish in the world? I cried when I ate the second one? Is there really such a thing?

61. Encountering a writer’s signature: It may seem like it, but it may not necessarily be the case. I came across a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

62. It is very important to remind everyone to learn to repair their own notebooks! There once was a person who couldn't repair his own notebooks? Everyone knows what happened later. (Coming from the Edison Chen incident, there’s no need to say more about the reason)

63. Hi! Did you receive my text message? Why are you still dazed? Just smile, okay? You look good when you smile.

64. I would like to be a flying bird in the sky. The air pollution is too bad. If we do tree trimming on the ground, deforestation and logging are unreliable. If the people of the world want to be happy, environmental protection must be done first!

65. If we don’t love enough in this life, it will last forever in the next life.

Survival or death is a question; whether to go to QQ or BBS is a question; whether to chase a girl or wait for a girl to chase her is a question, and it is a big question!

66. I want to be a girl The emperor is afraid of being wordy; if he wants to be an official, he is afraid of too many things; if he wants to eat, he is afraid of cleaning the pot; if he really wants to beat you, he is afraid of getting into trouble.

67. Go to a place often, like a place, miss a place, all because there are people you care about there, not because you care about the scenery there. You will associate a city with yourself because there are people there who feel similar to you, have a similar atmosphere to your hometown, and have people you can't let go of.

68. Put down your body, in exchange for respect and trust, gain understanding and support; put down your airs, win applause and hearts, achieve success and joy; let go of fame and fortune, your soul and life will be comfortable, and you will have happiness and joy. Happy!

69. I caught the bus in the morning. When I arrived at the platform, the bus had already started. So I had to chase and shout: "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me!" At this time, a passenger stuck his head out of the window and said to me: "Wukong, please stop chasing me." ?

70. I bury corn in the soil in spring, and I will harvest a lot of corn in autumn. In the spring I buried my wife in the soil, and in the fall I will be shot! ;