Humorous jokes on campus

Humorous jokes on campus

Humorous jokes on campus are jokes that many people choose to watch when they are unhappy. Joke is a Chinese word, which means something that makes people laugh. Jokes have the characteristics of short picture, simple and ingenious story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of laughing suddenly. Let's take a look at the campus humorous jokes and related materials. Humor joke on campus 1

1. A classmate's feet in our dormitory in the university are particularly smelly, which is immoral. One day we twisted his feet while playing basketball, and we carried him to the infirmary. At that moment, the smell of slippers was not floating, it was simply bursting. The school doctor and we ran out of the infirmary directly. Finally, the school doctor wore a three-layer mask and took two electric fans to the maximum position to blow his feet for treatment.

2. Colleagues get together to bring their families. My son was beaten and cried by a little girl for some reason. The little girl's mother quickly came to apologize to me. I smiled and said, It's okay. It's normal for children to fight and fight. Maybe they can get married when they grow up. At this time, a colleague joked: Do you have to ask your son if he can resist beating? Before I could speak, my son straightened up immediately after listening, tears were still in his eyes, and he said stubbornly: fight!

3. When I was a child, my second uncle loved me very much, so I often went to his house to play. A big goose in his house often pecked me. Once it bullied me again. I hit it hard on the head with a stick, and it fell to the ground and twitched a few times before moving. I was so frightened that I told my second uncle that I had killed his goose. The second uncle said: Always bullying children, it's better to die, there will be goose to eat tonight. When my second uncle boiled the water and prepared to pluck the goose feathers, the goose skidded to get up, spread its feet and ran away ...

4. After junior high school released his schoolmate, he went out to surf the Internet. He heard that there was a very popular competitive game recently, but his father caught it and pulled it back to the dormitory. His father warned him to go to the Internet cafe again and break his leg. He said, "Even if you break my leg, I have to go again." His father immediately became angry, and catching him was a kick. While hiding, he shouted, "My toothpaste, toothbrush, shower gel and quilt are all in the net!" "

5. I have no appetite today, and what I eat tastes terrible. So I took my boyfriend's hand and put it on my forehead and complained, honey, I seem to be ill. "My boyfriend spread my hand and said," Where are you sick? You are terminally ill! See for yourself. "Said from his pocket and pulled out a medical record for me. When I read the medical records, I was overwhelmed: picky eaters, no sports, playing mobile phones for more than an hour, playing mahjong, staying up late, getting up late, drinking too much cold drinks ... < P > 6. After graduation, my girlfriend and I worked in a company. We both sat in the office for a long time and worked on the computer, and our weight became heavier and heavier. Later, my girlfriend and I agreed to run together on weekends to lose weight and supervise each other, and get up and run every morning. Until last night, I met my best friend who was eating roast duck in a roast duck restaurant with roast pig's trotters in my right hand and classic milk tea in my left hand ... < P > 7. When my daughter was young, she learned to eat by herself. I accidentally dropped the spoon because of my small hands and strength. In order to let her pick it up by herself, I said to her: the spoon and the bowl are good friends. Now that the spoon has fallen to the ground and the good friends have separated, what should we do? My daughter thought for a moment and threw the bowl on the floor with a crash ...

Campus hilarious short joke

1. The unit is a big tree crawling with monkeys, looking up is full of buttocks, looking down is full of smiling faces, and looking left and right is full of eyes and ears! ! !

2. You were lying across the theater, occupying four seats. When someone told you to get up, you only did me a favor twice. The security guard came and said, "I hate it ~ Brother, which way is it?" You gritted your teeth and said, I fell down the aisle upstairs!

3. Patient: I have insomnia. Doctor: these pills, red makes you dream of Dehua; White dreams of Allen; Green dreams of moistening hair. Patient: What about taking it all? Doctor: Then you can see Guo Rong.

4. A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, Say, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I am from RTVU!

5. I heard that you were surrounded by eight thieves and beaten that day, but you were not knocked down. You were very skilled at kung fu ... only later did I know that you were tied to a tree and beaten. Ha ha!

6. I have a request: invite me to dinner. I hope you can satisfy me. Otherwise, I will write your mobile phone number on the wall, and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate. Please treat me well, or I'll write a marriage proposal, with unlimited conditions!

7. I heard that your mobile phone has no short message function, so I sent this short message to try. If you receive it, it is confirmed that there is a short message function and it is not from me, please reply to me: I have it, it is yours!

8. I asked my boss for a week off to decorate my house in jane doe. After a week, the house was not renovated, so we had to send a telegram to renew our leave. The boss was shocked when he received the telegram! The telegram said: I have not finished my sexual intercourse, so I will take a week off.

9. Weather forecast: I miss you a little from tonight to tomorrow morning. It is expected that I will miss you continuously in the afternoon. Due to the prolonged low mood, I will turn into a big dream in the evening, and my mood will be reduced by five degrees. It is expected that this kind of weather will last until I see you.

1. A: "The new neighbor is so hateful that he came in the middle of the night last night and slammed my doorbell. B: Did you call the police? "a:" no. I think they are crazy and continue to play my trumpet. Campus Humor Joke 2

Classic Humor Campus Joke 1

1. In the dormitory at night.

"insert it? Where do you insert it? "

"I can't get it in!"

"push!" ......

Then the dormitory will be dark in an instant, and Nima will be short-circuited!

2. Chatting with my college classmates I haven't seen for a long time. Me: How's my brother?

He said: At the beginning, I thought that with the housekeeping skills I learned at school, I would definitely do something!

me: what about now?

He said: Now he works as a janitor in a factory!

3. There are so many mosquitoes in the class in summer. The male student sitting in front of me is always bitten by mosquitoes, and he is angry and says, "Always biting your father!"

The result was heard by my deskmate. After a while, mosquitoes bit my deskmate. My deskmate photographed the gay man saying, "Take care of your children and always bite me!"

classic humorous campus jokes 2

1. If I pass all the exams, please don't call me a bully, call me a gambler!

2. I'm so upset that I fail to do my homework every day.

3. In senior high school, the teacher transferred boys to one table and girls to another table to prevent puppy love. In fact, he didn't realize the more serious problem!

4. Generally speaking, learning hegemony can be divided into three realms: everyone sleeps and I wake up alone; I don't regret it when the bags under my eyes are getting dark. I am all right when people pass; After three years at the same table, suddenly looking back, that person seems familiar!

5. Did your math score exceed your weight? -This is really a bloody question!

6. It is strongly recommended that the school study room be divided into four types: lovers show their love, singles seek to meet, gay friends walks with them and learns to bully others purely academically, so as not to injure others by accident and harm others!

7. The exercise book is normal! The pen test is normal! The answer is in place! The seat safety test is normal! The brightness of the desk lamp is normal! Cell phone isolation is normal!

the countdown to homework is 1, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3 .....! Drop! Drop! Mobile phone isolation has failed! Warning! Warning! Don't touch the phone! Warning! Warning! ..... Fingers touch the phone, and the system crashes! Failed to write homework!

8. "Actually, the geography I just took is not difficult." "I just took the biology exam ..."

Classic Humor Campus Joke 3

1. Senior: "Are you a freshman?"

After listening to this, Senior Sister secretly rejoiced, thinking that she was praising her youth: "How do you know?"

Senior: "Look at your skin!"

Senior sister was even happier after hearing this, thinking: I didn't expect my skin to be so good!

She waved her hand and said, "Actually, I'm a junior."

The senior mused, "Look at your skin, I thought you had just finished military training."

2. My roommate lamented that only two people who have known each other for so long have the word "empty" in their names!

me: which two?

He: a the Monkey King, an empty path!

me: and then what?

He: One is a childhood dream, and the other is a teenager's fantasy.

3. Xiaoli was wearing a hot low-cut dress when she suddenly heard someone whispering, "I think it's B."

"No, it must be A."

Xiao Li was angry. She went over and spat and cursed, "Don't correct the answer in the exam!" "

4. One roommate in the female dormitory came to Dayima, and another roommate said that girls' breasts would get bigger when they came to Dayima. The roommate said with emotion, "If only Daima would come every day!"

As a result, another roommate said, "It's very useful to have big breasts every day!"

5. Freshman: Brother, are there any beautiful women in your buckle? Introduce one to me

when I was a sophomore: Brother, is there a woman in your buckle? Introduce someone to my junior year: Brother, is there anyone in your buckle?

Senior year: Brother, come here for a moment ...

Classic Humor Campus Joke 4

The last question of the professional course exam: Who do you think is the most influential physicist? I wrote Newton. As a result, I was the only one in the class who failed. Originally, everyone wrote the name of the tutor ... What a world!

Yesterday morning, I was watching the scenery on the balcony and found a beautiful girl in the opposite girl's dormitory waving to me with a handkerchief, and I waved to her. Then she ran to another window and waved to me, and I waved to her again; Later, she left again, and I didn't realize it until she waved to me at the third window. It turned out that she was cleaning the window ...

MM was looking for Tsinghua University, but she got lost. Fortunately, I met a gentle professor with several thick books in his arms. Excuse me, how can I get to Tsinghua University? The professor pondered for a while and said earnestly, "Studying, you can only go to Tsinghua University if you keep studying hard."

A student in Tsinghua squatted in a corner of the zoo with a broken bottle every day to see a bear. His mother went to the hospital to ask the child if there was anything wrong with his nerves. The doctor said that to judge whether he was sick or not, we must first get to know him. So the doctor took a bottle with him to watch the bear every day, and the two of them squatted for a month without saying a word. Finally, one day, he spoke: "Excuse me … are you … are you also going to throw sulfuric acid at the bear?"

The only girl in the department came to watch the basketball game. Suddenly, the MM skirt was blown by the strong wind, and the foreign boys shouted: "Oh, my God, spring is leaking!" " The boys in the department said with a calm face, "Please, it's dirty laundry!"

When a man got married, he swore to God that he would be loyal to his marriage, but soon after marriage, he cheated. After a few days of anxiety, he found that there was no retribution, so he forgot. Until one day he was sailing by boat and was caught in a storm.

He suddenly realized that this was God's punishment, so he quickly knelt down and prayed: he asked for forgiveness for other innocent people's sake. At this time, I heard a deep voice from the sky: Do you think I am idle these years? Is it easy for me to get this boat full? I ... Humor joke on campus 3

Humor joke on primary school campus 1

1. In class, the teacher asked, "Fresh water resources are scarce. There is a public service advertisement saying: Don't let the last drop of water in the world be human's?"

I didn't expect all my classmates to look blank.

The teacher suggested, "It's a liquid in our body."

A student replied, "I see, it's blood."

another student retorted, "No, it's urine."

Scared the teacher to announce the answer quickly: "It's tears, it's tears."

2. In high school, two students were watching island action movies in a self-study class. As a result, they watched it too carefully and didn't find that the head teacher had stood behind. As a result, the head teacher sighed, "Why do you think you are watching this? You won't do it again."

3. My junior high school classmate's surname is Ma, and his name is Tong Tong. We all call her the toilet.

As a result, the little girl cried and asked to change her name.

Finally, it was renamed Ma Xintong.

Then, her nickname became "New Toilet".

4. On the podium, a female classmate proudly said, "I'm proud of my flat chest, and I make cloth for the country."

after that, everyone applauded.

Only one person in the corner said faintly, "Are you kidding me? These days, everyone knows that the bigger the chest, the less you wear. "

Humorous primary school jokes 2

1. During the pathology class, many students dozed off, so the professor lost his temper: "As for the real time of death, the medical profession has been arguing whether it is death when the brain stops moving or death when the heart stops. But if it is the former, I have to announce:' Most of the students in this class are dead.' "

2. Xiao Ming is a freshman who has just entered primary school. After the report card of the first mid-term exam was handed out, Xiaoming's father said to him, "Son, I hope I won't know how many people are in your class every time I see your ranking."

3. A: "What do you mean by' three misfortunes?'" "

B:" Physiology, biochemistry and biochemistry are all pawned! "

a: "what school did you learn from?"

b: "I'm a five-subject school, and I must be a five-subject school in every exam."

4. The professor of economics said in class: "Students, foreign workers have a great influence on us. Can you guess which country's foreign workers earn the most money? Is it Tai Lao, Yue Lao, Fei Lao, or ... "

A student answered first:" McDonald's! "

5. A dog was wandering in the street and saw a notice in the window: "Clerk wanted. Must be able to type, understand computers and be proficient in two languages. Equal opportunities. "

The dog went in and applied, but it was rejected. "I can't hire a dog to work in the company." The manager said. The dog was not convinced and pointed to the words "equal opportunity" on the notice to protest. The manager sighed and asked, "Can you type?" The dog walked silently to the typewriter and typed a letter accurately. "Do you know how to use a computer?" The manager asked.

The dog sat in front of a terminal and programmed it, which worked accurately.

"I really can't hire a dog for this job." The manager said angrily.

"Even if I can type and understand computers, I need employees who can speak two languages."

The dog looked up at the manager and said, "Meow ..."

Humorous primary school joke 3

1. Xiaoming fell asleep in class. The teacher woke him up and asked him why he slept in class.

Xiao Ming: My eyes are sick.

teacher: what's wrong?

Xiaoming: Autism.

Teacher: Go home to autism!

2. "Xiao Ming, every class I give you for the teacher is me.