Reliability Interview Skills: Who is Trustworthy?

Reliability interview skills: Who is trustworthy?

Reliability interview skills: Who is trustworthy? If people in the workplace want to gain the trust of others, they must have a special listening skill Ability, it is also called passionate listening. Let’s take a detailed look at reliability interview skills and who is trustworthy. Reliability Interview Skills: Who is Trustworthy 1

Scene 1, Xiao Wang and his colleagues: The colleague looked confused, frowned, and thought while talking. Xiao Wang stared at the phone, looking up at his colleagues from time to time, then immediately lowering his head again, and then looked at the phone again. As soon as his colleague finished speaking, Xiao Wang continued: "I know, don't worry." Listening like this, Xiao Wang will gain distrust every time he communicates. The more people he knows, the greater the resistance to promotion. Therefore, Xiao Wang's career will be spinning in circles.

Scene 2, Xiao Zhang and his colleagues: The colleague said with confusion. Xiao Zhang leaned forward and looked at his colleagues with confusion on his face. He listened quietly and acted from time to time. Record. After his colleague finished speaking, Xiao Zhang fell into deep thought. After a long time, Xiao Zhang said: "I didn't think of a better way. I'll think about it again. I'll come to you at two o'clock tomorrow afternoon." Listening like Xiao Zhang, every time Through communication, he can gain trust. The more people he knows, the more opportunities there will be. Therefore, Xiao Zhang will rise step by step.

The root of trust is listening. After years of research, psychologists have discovered that in order to gain the trust of others, you must first possess a special listening ability, which is called empathic listening. .

To listen with love is to empty the cup first and then fill it up. Listeners should first empty out their emotions and thoughts (empty cup), and then concentrate on receiving the emotions and thoughts of the person talking (full cup). In this way, the one glass of water for the confidant becomes two glasses of water for two people. The comparison between the two glasses of water is a discussion. This kind of negotiable listening is emotional listening, which is defined as follows: listening that is placed in the cognition and emotion of the person talking.

Anyone who thinks about big things wants someone to discuss them with. If you know how to listen passionately, you will become a popular person around big people. If a big man can't think clearly, he needs you to help him organize his glass of water. In this case, the big guys will have a high level of trust in you. The world may misunderstand you and think you are clinging to powerful people. And you and the big shot understand each other that this is trust, not clinging.

Mrs. Wallis Simpson is deeply misunderstood by the world. King Edward VIII of England gave up the throne for her. She is neither beautiful nor young, and has been divorced twice. From a worldly perspective, she was not worthy of the wise and mighty king. Some people speculated that she used evil means to charm the king. In fact, her charm is to listen passionately.

In 1930, when Edward was still a prince, he met Wallis. The first time the two talked, Edward was deeply touched. When they first met, Edward asked Wallis: Are you American? Then you must be funny, right? Wallis did not answer, but asked in an inquiring tone: Your Highness, why do you think Americans are interesting?

Wallis's rhetorical question surprised Edward, which showed that Wallis was interested in his thinking process and invited him to further elaborate on his thoughts. He had never experienced such an interaction. As the two came into further contact, Edward discovered that Wallis could always guide him to reflect on his own thinking process. Wallis is like a mirror. He can see his own thoughts in the mirror. This experience was amazing. Before this, no one helped him organize his thoughts. When he encountered problems, there was no one he could discuss with. This wonderful experience made him like Wallis.

Edward fell in love with Wallis after he visited Wales. In Wales, Edward visited the slums. Faced with the poor people, he felt ashamed and made a speech: In order to help noble people get rid of such an unnoble life, something must be done.

For the future king to make such a speech, in the eyes of the government, this is interference in governance. The ruling and opposition factions concentrated their firepower and criticized him in the press, accusing him of being a socialist. His parents accused him of speaking carelessly and inappropriately. Only Wallis asked him seriously what the scene was like, what he felt, and what he thought. Edward was very emotional. Wallis was the only person around him who cared about his thoughts and feelings. Others just commented on him and didn't want to understand him.

In December 1936, after being king for 325 days, Edward decided to abdicate. In his speech, he explained the reason for his abdication: I cannot bear the heavy responsibility of the king without the woman I love by my side.

It is impossible to be king without Wallis, and the people think this is unreasonable. But for Edward, this is a fact. Around him, only Wallis knows how to listen lovingly. Through her, the king was able to organize his thoughts. Without Wallis, Edward is a puppet king. This overwhelming love may be the last song in human history. There are more than a million psychiatrists in the world today who know how to listen emotionally. In theory, any one of them can help Edward rebuild his personality.

Any work based on trust requires compassionate listening. In the company, key account manager, general office director, board secretary, these positions require a high degree of trust. In society, investment consultants, management coaches, and private lawyers are professions that require a high degree of trust. Recruitment for this type of position should give priority to empathic listening, because it is an ability developed in early childhood, and it is very difficult to learn it in adulthood.

***Emotional listening has three key steps: full attention, emotional synchronization, and thinking synchronization. The following uses a mother listening to her child as an example to illustrate these three steps.

1. Full attention: Listening to the child, the mother puts all her attention on the child. She looks at the child, her mind is empty, her mood is calm, without any preset position, without subjective emotions, just like a child. A clean mirror. To pay full attention is to open your heart. A mother opens her emotions and thoughts to her child. In this interaction, children learn how to open up to others.

2. Emotional synchronization: Listen to the child talk, the mother and child's emotions change together, and understand the child's feelings. If the child shows no emotion, the mother will ask, how do you feel? Emotional synchronization is a channel through which children can experience their mother’s emotions. For children, synchronizing their mother's emotions can turn their mother's emotional intelligence into their own.

3. Thinking synchronization: When listening to the child talk, the mother will follow the child's thinking and review the child's thinking process. If there are jumps in thinking in the child's expression, the mother will ask, what do you think? Thinking synchronization is also a channel through which children learn their mother's logical reasoning and turn their mother's IQ into their own.

Mastering these three steps is a task that must be completed in childhood. If a person did not open his heart to his parents when he was a child, it will be difficult for him to open his heart to others as an adult. Because children's trust in their parents is the highest level of trust. If the job requires a higher level of trust, he will have a hard time doing it.

Therefore, emotional listening is basically an ability formed in childhood and remains unchanged throughout life. The question is, if I apply for a job, how can I judge my ability to listen emotionally?

To examine emotional listening, two tests are required. One is the "review test", which allows the applicant to review his thinking process for a recent decision. Only by being able to review your own thinking process can you understand the thinking process of others when listening. The other is the "context test", which tests whether the candidate can detect changes in context when listening.

The contextual test requires the cooperation of two interviewers.

One interviewer asked questions in a formal tone, and the other interviewer interspersed the questions with two spoken-style questions, such as: Among the bosses you have worked with, who do you admire the most? What's the boss's trump card?

I can answer this question in a spoken style, which shows that I can detect changes in context and change my own context based on changes. Having this ability means that when I listen, my thoughts and emotions are open, like a mirror, reflecting whatever I receive.

Listening passionately is a clean mirror, free from delusions and distracting thoughts. Just as the Sixth Patriarch Huineng said: The heart is like a bright mirror, free from dust. Reliability Interview Skills: Who is Trustworthy 2

Are you good at reading people?

You know that if you are good at reading people, you can find out the people around you who are sincere and worth interacting with.

If you are not good at reading people, you will inevitably encounter some "villains" who pretend to be sincere.

Therefore, if you want to distinguish between sincerity and hypocrisy in human nature, you may wish to refer to the following points and learn how to distinguish a person.

1. Shirking when things happen and not taking responsibility

Fan Hong is an active and outgoing person who works in a media company. Because of his quick thinking, he can always come up with some particularly novel ideas. The idea aroused great interest among the leaders, so the company leaders unanimously decided to let him be responsible for following up the short video project.

At the beginning, due to Fan Hong’s novel ideas and novel concepts, many short videos he produced received huge traffic and likes, and he gained a lot of fans in a short time.

However, content that only relies on novel ideas to attract eyeballs and boost traffic lacks soul. Although it can give the audience a bright visual stimulation, it ultimately does not have the substantive content to retain the audience. The traffic also became less and less, and the project suddenly entered a bottleneck.

Since the project had made no progress for several months, when the leader talked to Fan Hong and asked about the reason, Fan Hong blamed the platform's current restrictions, lack of funds, substandard actor quality, etc., but never introspected. Due to his own problems, in the end, the company invested a lot of money, but there was still no progress, and he was not to blame. Soon after, the company also ordered him to resign.

The Doctrine of the Mean says: "Cultivate one's self, regulate one's family, govern the country, and bring peace to the world." The most important thing for people who want to do great things is to first cultivate one's self and correct one's attitude. Gotta have a sense of responsibility. A responsible person will have a sense of responsibility for himself, his career and others, so that he can do his job and projects well. If this person does not always look for problems within himself, but always makes excuses to shirk responsibility, it means that he is not sincere and will one day expose his hypocritical nature.

2. She is preoccupied with things and has no mind.

Kuang Kuang is a lively and outgoing person, but she does not get along well with friends and colleagues. She is not very talkative. People's people.

She doesn’t want to suffer a loss with her words. The speaker has no intention, but the listener has intention. When she hears someone else’s joke, she will think that the other person is attacking her personally, and she will immediately retaliate. , so she has very few friends.

She rents a house by herself, with 5 girls living in 4 bedrooms, 2 living rooms and 1 bedroom. The water and electricity bills are shared equally, so it’s okay for everyone to pay equally. However, she always thinks that the neighbor next door has to take a shower every day. , so-and-so often uses the air conditioner and never uses it. So-and-so cooks three meals at home every day to save himself a penny, and he often has unpleasant troubles with his roommates.

She herself raised a dog in the dormitory. In the summer, she could only leave the dog in the dormitory when she went to work. Due to the orientation of the dormitory, the entire room was like a steamer due to the exposure to sunlight. She I was worried that the dog would die from the heat in the dormitory, so I had a sudden idea. Since everyone paid the electricity bill together, I turned on the air conditioner in my room and let the dog blow it.

At the end of the month, because the electricity bill suddenly more than doubled, the remaining four roommates felt that this was unexpected. After communicating with each other, they decided to supervise each other. In the end, it was revealed that she turned on the air conditioner to blow the dog. They jointly complained to the landlord, asking her to bear the electricity bills of last month and this month alone, and kicked her out.

People who like to care about everything are too selfish. They have used seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages to the extreme. Such people will seek advantages and avoid disadvantages whether at work, socializing, or with their own families. Treating others with an attitude that only considers one's own interests rather than empathizing with others is a sign of not being sincere, and you will definitely not get sincere friends.

3. Losing his temper when things go wrong, not mature enough

Zhang Tao used to be a taxi driver with a bad temper. He was often complained for quarreling with passengers. In the end, he felt that he had earned After a while, I switched to driving a bus.

But even after changing careers, he did not get rid of his tendency to lose his temper and go his own way. On the bus, it is easy to encounter all kinds of passengers, and it is inevitable that there will be passengers with bad habits, and His tendency to be outspoken and unforgiving makes him often insult each other in dialect. When he encounters a timid passenger, the other party will just think about it and forget about it and will not argue with him. When he encounters a passenger with a bad temper, this often happens. He also received many complaints from passengers for arguing while driving, and he received many fines for this.

However, the fine did not solve his bad habits after all. The so-called evil people will have their own evil. Once on the bus, a strong passenger saw Zhang Tao insulting an aunt. It was really He couldn't listen anymore. When the car stopped, he pulled the driver out of the car, punched him a few times in the street and left. He finally called the police. After the police learned about the situation, they saw that there was no big problem with him and the matter was over. As a matter of fact, he could only treat himself as a dumb person and slowly learn to restrain himself.

People who cannot control their emotions are a sign of low emotional intelligence. People who lack self-control are not in a high social circle. Therefore, when you meet people who lack control of their emotions, especially People with bad tempers should stay away from them. Don't lower your status, contact such people, and waste your precious social energy.

Of course, the best way to learn to read a person is not to see what he says, but to see how he acts. Doing things is the best way to reflect a person's attitude, from which you can determine the other person's values. , so build your own valuable network of contacts. When you master this skill, your structure will rise to a new level.