How to tell a person's character?

Observing how TA gets along with strangers

Explicitness of personality

The words used to evaluate other people's personality should be "introversion and extroversion". Whether a person's personality is introverted or extroverted, there are many behaviors that can be observed. One of the direct things is how this person deals with strangers. Introverts can be close to their good friends and talk with Kan Kan, but they don't want to attend a gathering of strangers alone, even if it will bring rare career opportunities. Introverts have nothing to say when they meet their friends who have talked speculatively on the Internet. Introverts may be the slower one in the new group, even if they really want to know the curious questions, they don't open their mouths.

From psychological research, there is no difference between extroversion and extroversion, but in real life, extroversion always seems to be better than introversion. First, extroverted people's "fearlessness" to strangers makes them easy to be accepted by others, so they may get more opportunities-that's why most companies are willing to hire extroverts, and you can't expect people who are nervous when you call strangers to help your company expand its business quickly.

Of course, people who are extremely extroverted and introverted will not be popular in the crowd. The former will be considered too noisy, too familiar, too ostentatious, and too casual to make friends. The latter is considered to be slow to integrate into new groups (such as changing jobs), unable to establish new interpersonal relationships, poor social skills, and unsociable.

Observe how he gets along with his family

True personality

A person's personality is usually stable, and the way to deal with problems is similar. For example, if an employee does something wrong and his wife does something wrong, I'm afraid angry people will be furious. But sometimes, people's behavior will deviate because of the change of role-for example, they can be pleasant to employees but yell at children-because they must play this role, but they may not be their true self. Therefore, observing how others get along with their families is a good opportunity to understand what his original personality (without social role modification) looks like.

Family members, especially spouses, parents and children, are usually safe relationships in a person's interpersonal relationship, which will enable him to show his true self in a relaxed situation. IBM once arranged for candidates to travel with their families in the global executive recruitment, and observed their interaction to understand the true character of the candidates. Usually under pressure or in critical situations, people will show their true instinctive personality, which is sometimes difficult for us to observe directly in the workplace.

Observe his relationship with friends

Social role

In culture, calling friends is usually regarded as a symbol of ability. From the observation of personality, this ability can also be the ability to be liked by friends. Don't neglect to observe the interaction between him and his friends when looking at people. Is he respected by his friends? Will friends take the initiative to ask him for help when they are in trouble? Has always been the object of ridicule by friends? Whether words carry weight in the circle of friends and so on. This is usually a manifestation of a person's comprehensive personality characteristics.

Because friendship is the epitome of a person's social ability, when a person who always plays the role of opinion in the circle of friends enters the society, he usually has great influence on others who play other roles such as colleagues, leaders, customers and partners.

Observe his attitude towards rules

Normative preference

Some people follow the rules and obey the law, while others often break away from the rules, which often represents a person's normative and adventurous spirit. For people with driving licenses, observing their driving process is a good example: whether to drive according to traffic signs and norms, whether to follow the norms of traffic lights when driving at night, and whether to get angry with others when driving. Speeding where there is no camera, running a red light when driving at night, crossing the line without lights, and shuttling back and forth in traffic while driving … An adventurous person will appreciate such behavior and think that this person may "take an unusual road" in the future; People who advocate standardization will hate people who drive like this, thinking that this habit may be "difficult to manage" in the future if it is not well disciplined in the workplace.

Observing a person's attitude

Emotional management ability

In daily life, we will unconsciously think about how others will react to something, if we make a certain degree of prediction on other people's behavior and the result of things. When the result deviates from our prediction (or expectation), we will feel "uneasy", and then people's defense mechanism will start the "angry" procedure. For example, if an administrative assistant goes to make a copy and doesn't come back for half an hour, it may lead to negative emotions such as "What's the matter? Why did it take so long? Can't such a little thing be done?". A person who is often angry may have the characteristics of "perfectionism", "picky", "poor social adaptability", "lack of self-confidence" and "strong desire for control" that are stronger than others.

Of course, just as it is difficult to test the real combat effectiveness of the army in peacetime, the observation of other people's emotional control should focus on their reactions when they are rejected, contradicted, challenged and frustrated. It is very important for an adult to control his emotions and express and channel negative emotions reasonably.

Observe the details of a person's life

Organization and values

I often hear girls say that when falling in love, you must go to a boy's dormitory or home to know if he is a person who throws things at sixes and sevens. When you are in love, when you meet a boy who doesn't take care of his own house very well, the girl may have compassion to help him clean up, but the attitude and organization of a person reflected in these life details will often affect his future life. People with messy desks must have no better environment at home. Observing a person's lifestyle can also map out his values towards the world, his attitude towards life comfort and money.

observation is an important way to judge personality, just like peeling an onion, every circle will reveal more information. When we systematically understand this person's lifestyle, attitude towards friends, and the state of being with his family, and know when he will lose control and feel comfortable, we can sum up his personality characteristics, and then predict his possible behavior and reaction in the future. Although observing others is something that everyone will do consciously or unconsciously, because everyone's observation and judgment ability is limited, the conclusions drawn from the same behavior are different. Therefore, by observing the deduction of other people's personality, we can accumulate enough examples, instead of making judgments based on each other's eyes and actions.