Speak-up comedy script

Crosstalk script: "Shrewd Boss"

A: Hey, old classmate, old classmate--

B: Hey! I haven't seen you, an old classmate. Say hello to me (the two shake hands). Are you still on that money-rich TV station? No, it’s the cable TV station, right?

A: We are now called Jiangsu Cable Zhenjiang Branch, and we are provincial cadres!

B: Ha! Got promoted?

A: (Learn from Diao Xiaosan in Shajiabang) Now he has been promoted to adjutant and became the vice chairman of the trade union. So where are you now?

B: I have been transferred to the International Hotel as the boss, so I can just hang out;

A: Hey, I am doing well. Yeah, you are a senior official than me, so you are quite humble. When are we going to invite some of our old classmates from the party school for a drink?

B: That’s for sure, but I’ve been busy with work recently;

A: What are you busy with?

B: Isn’t it almost the Chinese New Year? I just transferred here to raise some money to provide some benefits to employees and some bonuses to win over people.

A: Hey, you are a good boss. You know how to be an official. You care about the lives of your employees. It would be great if the boss of our company was like you.

B: What’s wrong with your boss?

A: Hi, the boss of our company is very calculating and can break every penny in half. He is known as the iron abacus. He can calculate better than professional accountants. He is famously shrewd in the industry. The boss.

B: Why is your boss so smart?

A: Okay, let me give you a few examples and say,

B: Just give them to me Said, said.

A: The Municipal Federation of Trade Unions requires each trade union group to order a newspaper. We have ten trade union groups, so we should order ten copies. Go ask the boss for instructions, hey --- , our boss only agreed to order one copy, you are smart or not;

B: There are many information channels now. Jiangsu Cable alone has high-definition interactive TV and cloud media. , cable broadband, and its own website Weibo. I subscribed to too many newspapers and didn’t have time to read them.

A: The Municipal Federation of Trade Unions requires that each employee can apply for up to two mutual aid funds. Hey--our boss chose the cheapest one. You can only apply for one copy, and each copy costs 40 yuan and the employee has to pay 20 yuan personally. You say he is smart or not.

B: It makes sense. Is this called sharing of benefits and shouldering of responsibilities?

A: At the beginning of this year, I created a short sketch "Recruitment Fun Notes", organized employees to arrange and perform by themselves, and won the award in the "Mengxi Summer" square performance of the Municipal Federation of Trade Unions. I won a first prize, hey--, our boss didn't give me a penny as a reward. Other branches asked screenwriters to write scripts and were rewarded with tens of thousands of yuan. You say I'm smart or not;

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B: Do you really think you are a great screenwriter? Don’t you get a salary from your employer? Isn’t it also the responsibility of your union chairman to create literary and artistic programs?

A: Last year, the Municipal Federation of Trade Unions organized a city-wide employee table tennis competition. Units only had to pay 400 yuan to participate. Hey, our boss, in order to save the 400 yuan, refused to agree. We participated in the competition, and you said we were smart or not;

B: Weren’t we all busy with work last year, moving, generating income, and developing new businesses, so we couldn’t spare any manpower.

A: The lunch subsidy for employees is still the standard of 6 yuan a meal five years ago. Now other branches have mentioned that the lunch subsidy is 12 yuan a meal. Hey --, our boss just can't bear to add more money, you say he is smart or not;

B: Isn't it equivalent to adding water, electricity, rent, and labor costs to you? Yuan standard?

A: Sometimes, the chairman and general manager of the provincial company come to us to inspect the work, listen to reports, and give instructions. When it’s time for dinner, hey--, our boss can’t bear to go to court. I was brought to a five-star hotel and forced to take my immediate boss to the staff cafeteria. Two dishes and one soup cost six yuan each. Do you think our boss still wants to be promoted?

B: This is a good opportunity for grassroots leaders under superior leadership to conduct research and understand the lives of employees. It is also in line with the spirit of the current party’s mass line education and practice activities.

A: Some brothers and units from the branch came to Zhenjiang to pass on business opportunities, conduct business exchanges, and bring some cherries for everyone to taste. Hey --, our boss , I didn’t even give back a soup dumpling or a piece of meat. Do you think I will bring something with me next time?

B: This is in line with the spirit of the central government’s six prohibitions. It is strictly forbidden to use public funds to visit each other, present souvenirs to each other, or entertain each other.

A: Our Dagang Pingchang business hall was decorated, and we submitted a decoration plan of 200,000 yuan. Hey - our boss cut off 100,000 yuan with a click of a knife. The toilets have all been cut down, and people will run there if they are anxious;

B: This is to save money and be diligent and thrifty. If you are anxious, go to the public toilet. ah.

A: The newly built cable twin buildings have a self-use area of ??14,000 square meters, and only plan to use 5,000 square meters. The new cable building of Taizhou Branch has a self-use area of ??15,000 square meters. Thousand square meters is three times that of ours. Hey--their office conditions are so good;

B: Now the central government has issued a new document to reduce the office area. , Are you against the trend of extravagance? You, the boss, did the right thing and followed the pace of the central government.

A: According to the requirements of the Federation of Trade Unions, the hardware requirements for the staff home activity venue must be 400 square meters to meet the standard. I submitted the plan, hey--ours The boss only agreed to build an activity venue of 200 square meters;

B: If you don’t know how expensive firewood and rice are, it’s not bad. Having an activity venue for employees is better than not having one.

A: Party member activities in other units all engage in red tours. They run far and fly high, and study and travel with both shoulders on their shoulders. Hey--, our boss only saves money. During the event, you said that our boss is stingy but not stingy--

B: Hey, didn't you call your boss "Smart Boss"?

A: Hey, I spilled the beans! (As if slapping himself) - Aren't "shrewd" and "stingy" synonyms?

B: What kind of activities have you done as a party member?

A: This year we did “one party member enters ten houses and listens to opinions while serving”; last year we did the first season of high-definition TV with party emblems and flags; the year before that we organized party members Go to the Martyrs Cemetery to recite the oath of joining the Party. You see, organize some activities that cost a small amount of money.

B: Yes, you can do more with less money, that’s awesome. Hey - wait, wait, as far as I know, isn't this year's party membership event organized at the New Fourth Army Memorial Hall in Jurong City?

A: Forget it, this year’s party member activities are the furthest. They are still the same old “revisiting the oath of joining the party”, but there is progress, and they have managed a farm meal, but there are flaws in it. What's more, they don't even have access to the Maoshan gate. Hey, that's really a saving.

B: Party member activities are not measured by how much money is spent, but at a spiritual level. It is not about traveling around mountains and rivers, burning incense and worshiping Buddha, so I didn’t go to Maoshan for you.

A: Why do you always say good things to our boss? You really know a lot about our company, don’t you?

B: Haha--, your boss and I are now new neighbors.

A: Hi! You kid, are you still lurking deep? You are the modern version of "Yu Zecheng".

B: Can you not lurk? Otherwise, how can I be your boss’s eyes and ears?

A: But then again, our boss is very careful about small things, but he is still open to big things.

B: Look, you are scared, afraid that I will pass the word on to your boss.

A: Last year, our boss planned a "imperial grain system reform", which mobilized the enthusiasm of front-line operations and maintenance employees. The wages and income of labor dispatch workers increased significantly. We were the first in the province to pay provident funds to dispatched workers, and this year we recruited particularly outstanding dispatched workers into the party and turned them into regular workers.

B: Yes, is this called positive energy?

A: In December, the boss planned the "Jiangsu Cableline gives out surprises, just red envelopes to welcome the New Year" red envelope event. It was a generous gift to the majority of cableline users.

B: Your boss is not stingy, he is very generous.

A: The standard of condolences for employees who have undergone surgery and hospitalization has also been raised, from two hundred to four hundred now; the standard of condolences for employees’ immediate family members who have died has also been raised, from three to One hundred, now five hundred; the standard for condolences to employees who are seriously ill is one thousand; and when employees themselves get married, they also send wedding money and flower baskets.

B: That’s great. Other units don’t have benefits like yours, so I think your boss is not only not stingy but also very caring.

A: At the end of the year, employees’ marketing indicators will be assessed, and over-production rewards will be cashed out in a timely manner. The more you work, the more you will gain.

B: Your boss can fully mobilize the enthusiasm of employees, improve efficiency, and create maximum profits for the company. All the money earned has been given to you as overproduction bonuses.

A: Our boss also rewards and subsidizes our employees for using our company’s business products, such as broadband, digital TV, interactive TV, etc.

B: In comparison, the employee benefits of your unit are much better than those of ours. Hey --, you kid, you didn't say that just because I am your boss's neighbor.

A: Who is afraid of whom? Am I that kind of person? (Whispering) In fact, our boss still has a habit of spending less and not spending more. This is also reflected in his family's private affairs.

B: What’s going on? Let me tell you.

A: One time I went to collect party dues from him. The annual party dues were only a few hundred yuan. Hey - he just didn't pay it out. He said it was for one day. Give. I guess I went home to report to my wife and apply for funding.

B: Why do you still need to report to Madam?

A: Turn over all the profits of the unit, and apply for special funds for expenses. Once you get into the habit, you can do the same when you go home;

B: It is a man’s glory to have his wife as the top leader at home. Generally, a successful man can only be the third leader at home.

A: Yes, he doesn’t smoke, drink, keep a mistress or pick up girls, so why should my wife keep money in his pocket;

B: What does this have to do with being stingy?

A: If you have no money in your pocket, won’t you develop the habit of being shrewd, stingy, and spending less?

B: Which one is right? It’s all nonsense. You call it "If you don't seek death, you won't die!" Let's see how your boss removes your union chairman.

A: Let me tell you two more things;

B: Let me tell you.

A: Our boss doesn’t use the bus assigned by the unit for private use. After get off work, he grabs two newspapers, throws his big arms and walks home;

B: Your boss has done a good job. According to the central government's "Six Prohibitions", leading cadres are not allowed to use public vehicles for private use during holidays and holidays, and they are not allowed to use public vehicles in violation of regulations.

A: The year before last, his father-in-law passed away. Some of us gave 2,000, some gave 1,000, and came to express condolences. His family affairs were finished, hey--guess it. What's the matter? I returned all my contributions and only received 20 yuan per person. You say you are stingy but not stingy?

B: Your boss is doing the right thing. He is clean and honest. Yes, the central government strictly prohibits leading cadres from taking advantage of events such as weddings and funerals to make money, which is highly consistent with the central government.

A: This year, the boss’s daughter got married. There was no wedding wine on the table in Zhenjiang. Don’t say we didn’t get a sip of the wedding wine. Let’s give out wedding candies. I opened it and saw only one. Hey, hey--, you say you are stingy but not stingy;

B: Are you a country bumpkin? That is high-end chocolate, and it’s expensive for your old nose! Hey, why did you say one more thing?

A: Shouldn’t I chat with you for a while?

B: You can’t talk about your boss all the time while chatting. ah.

A: People have been talking about it for more than ten years, and they still care about my discussion. As the saying goes, there is no one who doesn’t talk about others behind their back, and there is no one who doesn’t get talked about behind their back;

B: So, how can people talk about you behind your back? ?

A: A woman with a long tongue and a big mouth!

B: Hey --, I haven’t seen you for a few years and you are still the same kind of person. Have you not changed your old habits?

A: A country is easy to change, but a character is hard to change;

B: Hey--, you really can give it to yourself Looking for a reason!

Author: Shi Ming

December 2013