Yesterday, scattered all over the world.

Yesterday, scattered all over the world.

The cold gradually enveloped the city, but I ran from street corner to street corner and started my life under many stop signs.

I pulled the heavy box, got off the train and began to shuttle through the gaps of every pedestrian. I want to rush to the front as fast as I can. I looked around, people came and went, and the traffic was endless. I don't know where I am. I just feel like I'm still in a forever moving space, as if I'm watching a movie that belongs only to me. During the stop, the years passed, the light and shadow flashed, and the music was low and weak.

I got on the bus, bumpy, crowded and tired, and stood at the finish line. Stop at the boss's dormitory, eat hot pot, drink and sing karaoke at night, and play late into the night. The street lamps in the city are bright, but they are dark in the distance, breathing the cold air and the drizzle falling silently. On such a hearty night, I gave vent to myself so vividly, and I felt relaxed with the strength of wine. The two of us walked in a daze on this crowded road, silently thinking about each other's ideas. Just like that night, I kept walking and forgot all the unhappiness and helplessness.

After a night's sleep, with my people and my dreams, I embarked on a journey alone. I didn't take the bus, but walked alone. The boss said, if you can't find the way, call and take care of yourself. The campus was covered with dead leaves, and it rained last night. They just slept there quietly, wetting the lonely shadows around them. Maybe I was tossed around by the hand of fate like them, and then I was exiled here. The air is filled with sadness, so many people are disappointed, so many people sigh, walking on the road, slowly losing their dreams that originally belonged to their souls.

The rain began to rain gradually again, two or three drops, without panic or pity, blowing the whole world cruelly. Wandering in this circuitous path, surrounded by pines, cypresses and dark green lawns, I just can't feel a trace of warmth in the cold wind, and cold machines are driving on the paved asphalt avenue. The city in winter is so lonely.

When I got off the bus, the sun scattered from nowhere, and the sky was full of joy. Qingchuan is full of high-rise buildings, like a ray of light suddenly jumping out of the smoke after the war, decorating everything so fresh and beautiful. I feel that everything in this world is changeable and always full of hope. I believe the sun hasn't come yet, but my eyes are covered by dark clouds.

After I came back from Xi, I said to my boss, if only we could be together. I miss those four nights. Me, female, GG, Xixi, in this strange foreign city, eating instant noodles in barrels and playing poker together, making faces when losing, telling jokes, tempting duck necks, a lot of snacks, beautiful girls and handsome guys, all the old things in the world are exposed one by one. GG's first night, Xixi's infatuation, and girls' shy and unbridled laughter are all so nostalgic and beautiful. Those days together are like mild spring, with flowers that are always worth cherishing and fragrant. The next day, everyone left, only feeling empty, as if something had been lost. This is the taste of parting, a brief encounter, and then thousands of miles away.

In this winter, a person's city;

In this winter, a person's wandering;

In this winter, a person's struggle.

Sigh, take a deep breath, and then go to the job fair.

Run job fairs in major universities for several days in a row. In this war without smoke, people crowded and I was exhausted, and I really realized the hardships of finding a job. Resume delivery will always be replied by the interviewer that the school is not under consideration, or that we only accept students' resumes. The silent contempt and indifferent eyes deeply hit the heart full of enthusiasm for job hunting. Every time I send a resume, I have great hope. I believe my efforts will bear fruit, waiting, waiting for a long time, and then great disappointment. My resume, which was finally delivered, sank into the sea. There was no phone call and no news of the interview.

That invisible pressure hangs over me and takes root in my heart. I want to escape quickly, but the ideal and reality are so far away. The more I want to cherish it, the faster I lose it.

When I was looking for a job and taking a driver's license together, the rush between the two places and the pressure in my heart made me almost collapse in those days. So in the driving test, I was defeated successfully, and all my efforts were in vain these days. Then I encountered an abnormal collapse and slept beautifully for a day. I signed the job the next afternoon, so everything in my life has ended in these months, and that's it. When I walked out of the classroom, I only felt that the sunshine outside was unusually bright and I suddenly wanted to eat a big meal. I am in a very happy mood.

At the moment, I can see this fragmented night through the window covered with ice flowers in the dormitory, and I can't help but recall the lonely nights of those days. I snuggled up in the hotel quilt, watched TV, and saw the morning at 0: 00, but I still didn't want to fall asleep. I fell asleep, and tomorrow will come soon.

I like to see the outside world like this, always separated by a layer of glass, quiet and illusory, beautiful and simple. My student life is in such a sad season, and the beautiful veil is being unveiled little by little as I go away. This is the process of growing up, with joy, sadness, pure memories and heavy responsibilities.

How can I describe this winter? Is it helplessness in the cold, loneliness in helplessness, or hope in loneliness? I think it's all true.

In this winter, I seem to be abandoned by myself. I have been looking for the way back, but this road is too long. I have been moving forward, but it is dark ahead. No goal. Without direction, even with a map, I'm still lost.

The story will never end, but every time I finish a story, I feel so short.

Life advances in a cycle, but gradually forgets such a cycle in such progress.

Every day, I think of yesterday, but yesterday seems to have never come, like a dream, in which I lost something. After waking up, I almost forgot what it was. Nobody cares about dreams. This is just a dream.

I wrote in my diary: the sunshine is a fragment, and the days are sunny. I will stay here and wait for bloom in the field. This winter, snowflakes don't come.

Deskmate's message: You have your half acre of flower fields, and I have my countryside. It's not that there are no snowflakes this winter, but your heart hasn't reached winter yet.

Yes, snowflakes will fall, and this winter will pass. Life has four seasons and a cycle. Suddenly I feel that something will be there unconsciously. I just need to wait quietly and look at our half-acre flower field.

My mind gradually blurred the shadow of this time. I don't know when to start and when to end. Everything disappeared unconsciously, drying its remnants.

1February 5, the weather is fine and life is calm.

This page is over.