High score: Give me a funny sketch script for 3-4 people.

I'm teasing you.

Mom: "honey, mom is busy. Where are the clothes hanging outside?" Don't let anyone steal it. If you need anything, call me. "

Baby: "hmm"

A thief came and said to the child, "How old are you?"

Baby: "5 years old"

Thief: "What's your name?"

Baby: "My name is Xiaohu."

Thief: "Do you know me?"

Baby: "I don't know"

Thief: "Let's play together. My name is Doby. I'm teasing you. You call me, call me. "

Baby: "tease you"

Thief: "Good, great."

The thief took the clothes, and Bao Xiao shouted, "Mom, he took our coats."

Mother: "Who is it?"

Baby: "tease you"

Mother: "Take a good look."

The thief took the pants, and Bao Xiao shouted, "Mom, he took our pants."

Mother: "Who is it?"

Baby: "tease you"

Mother: "This child. I'll hit you later, don't scream. "

The thief took the quilt list, and Bao Xiao shouted, "Mom, he took our quilt list."

Mother: "Who is it?"

Baby: "tease you"

Mother: "This child. If you are dishonest, I will hit you. "

The thief left, and mother came out: "Where are our clothes?"

Baby: "Take it away."

Mother: "Who is it?"

Baby: "tease you"

Script 2:

Da Cui: Male, 22 years old, policeman.

Xiaofeng: Female, 20 years old, policeman.

Lao Wang: Male, 40 years old, inspector.

contemporary era

Nainaimiao police station

Opening: Da Cuishang

Cui: It is true that people say that happiness is not busy, and it hurts to run unhappily. If nothing else, let's talk about training. None of the policemen in the whole police station were in a hurry. Some are busy practicing enemy boxing, some write their experiences day and night, and some even turn the leader's speech upside down and forget to eat or sleep. Just then, a man came.

Xiao fengshang

Feng: Male, Han nationality, 1968, 16 Born in May, height 17 1 cm, high school education, sentenced to 4 years' imprisonment for theft on March 29th, 2006, and his wife-

Cui: Xiaofeng, what are you reciting? Your mouth seems to be chanting.

Feng: Brother Cui, the Supervision Department of the Municipal Bureau inspected our training this afternoon. Why do you still act like nothing happened?

Cui: What's the panic? I'm not bragging. We were humiliated by the association.

Feng: In the past, you have never been humiliated by us-

Cui: I'm not bragging. Am I right?

Feng: Because I have never checked you. You are a loach, too slippery. During the inspection, you beat your shoes with watermelon skin-

Cui: What do you mean?

Feng: I ran away.

Cui: I don't have to know, because the director has other special tasks for me.

Feng: However, this time you are a thief. You are cornered and you can't run away.

Cui: How can I say this?

Feng: Because everyone passed this inspection, and no one missed it.

Cui; I didn't mean to brag. I, Cui, have always been fearless when Mount Tai comes to the top, and fearless when floods collapse. There are policies on this, and I have countermeasures.

Feng: Oh, what are your countermeasures?

Cui: Look what this is (taking the tape recorder out of his clothes).

Feng: Isn't this a tape recorder? What are you doing with it?

Cui: What are you doing? Play sound.

Feng: Who is playing?

Cui: I want you to listen (turn on the switch)

Release Cui's recording: Leaders, as a community policeman, have been fighting in the front line of work all the year round, mixing with the masses, and the familiarity rate of the masses has reached 100%, so they are called "living computers" in their jurisdictions. The following is the basic situation of a household in my jurisdiction. Zhang Dachuan, male, Han nationality, 1968, 16 was born in May, with a height of 17 1 cm and a high school education. ...

Feng: Hey, Da Cui, your back is the same as mine just now. This Dachuan is a resident of my jurisdiction. When did you move to your home?

Cui: What is yours and mine? Aren't they all from grandma temple police station? Comrade Xiaofeng, your idea is very dangerous and selfish.

Feng: But-

Cui: Don't do buts, but be careful next time. Look at Comrade Cui, how well he has learned.

Feng: Bah, I have memorized all my accounts in the film, but it's okay. No matter how much I cry roast meat, I won't expose the refugees who died in Iraq.

Cui: What are you talking about?

Feng: Nothing.

Lao Wang disguised himself as a farmer.

Wang: Comrade, is this the police station?

Feng: Grandpa, what can I do for you?

Wang: I'm from Beizhai. I'm looking for the sheriff there, Comrade Cui.

Feng: Brother Cui, this uncle wants to see you. I will play with your tape recorder for a while.

Cui: When the inspection comes, don't leave me alone.

Xiaofeng: Absolutely not (take down the tape recorder).

Cui: (unhappy with Wang) What can I do for you?

Wang: Well (pulls out a crumpled cigarette from his pocket) Comrade Cui, you have a cigarette first.

Cui, what kind of cigarette is this? Do not smoke. What happened? Go ahead.

Wang, it's like this. My old sow gave birth to a litter of piglets. One day, the old pig ran to his neighbor Zhu's vegetable field and chewed his food. He didn't like it, so he hit my old pig and ran away. He drove him away, and he ran faster and faster. He drove him away, and he ran faster and faster.

Cui: Hey, hey, are you finished?

Wang: After a while, the old pig came running, and Zhu drove out. The old pig came running and Zhu drove out. Finally—

Cui: What?

Wang: I'm home at last.

Cui: That's it. What are you suing?

Wang: I didn't come to complain, I came to ask.

Cui: Why?

Wang: What did my pig do? His surname is Zhu, and I have to pay for it.

Cui: I don't know.

Wang: You are a policeman. You don't know, so how did you become a policeman?

Cui: I am a policeman in charge of people. Why should I be in charge of animals?

Wang: Who cares?

Cui: Slaughterhouse management.

Wang (puzzled for a moment): Slaughter, slaughterhouse?

Cui: Just kill it.

Wang (angrily): You, what did you say? I will find your director. (below)

Cui: (looking at Wang's back) Looking for the director. Ok, I'll show you the way. Look, that's the door, but the director is not at home.

{The phone rang.

(Cui answers the phone

Cui: Where! Oh, 1 10, what, from the supervision department of the city bureau, come right away. Okay, we're ready. Don't worry, it's absolutely no problem.

[Cui Gang put the phone down.

Feng (anxious): I'm coming, I'm coming.

Cui: What's the panic? It's like tying up his father. Where is my baby?

Feng: Here it is.

Xiaofeng gives Cui the tape recorder, and Cui puts the tape recorder in his pocket and puts on headphones.

Lao Wang is wearing a police uniform.

Xiaofeng

Hello, chief.

Dacui

Wang: Thank you for your hard work. We are just looking around this time, so please make yourself at home.

Cui: Whatever.

Wang: Just feel at home. Recently, the provincial office has made several regulations. Have you learned?

Cui: I didn't mean to brag. We learned it a long time ago.

Wang: Can you recite it?

Cui: I'm not bragging. I know it by heart.

Wang: Who do you two ask first?

Feng: Ask me,

Cui: Ask me first. I am more prepared than she is.

Wang: Let me ask you something.

Cui (back) is very mean to me.

W: May I have your name, please-

Feng: Da Cui!

Wang: A big blow?

Cui: Cui, not bragging.

Wang: OK, Comrade Cui, let's begin.

[Cui quietly turned on the tape recorder.

Cui: Chief, listen carefully. "Leaders, as a community policeman, I have been fighting in the front line of work all the year round and have become one with the masses. The familiarity rate of the masses reached 1.000%, and I was called the "living computer" of the jurisdiction.

Wang (applause): I can't see that you are really good.

Cui (proudly) is not blowing, which is not a piece of cake for me.

Wang: Since you are called a "living computer", you must have something extraordinary. Tell me about Zhang Dachuan, a laborer.

Cui: Male, Han nationality, 1968, 16 Born in May, height 17 1 cm, high school culture.

Cui (singing): The spring water in the frontier fortress is clear and pure, and the song in the frontier fortress warms people's hearts.

Wang: Stop, what are you singing?

Cui: I I don't know.

[Tao takes out the tape recorder from his clothes and presses the record key.

Xiaofeng suddenly sings in the tape recorder.

Xiaofeng's song: The frontier spring is clear and pure, and the frontier song warms people's hearts.

Cui: Xiaofeng, who told you to record it?

Xiaofeng: Sorry, Cui Ge, I just tried your recording effect.

Cui: You killed me.

Wang: You have many ideas. You came up with such an idea.

Cui: No, Chief, no-

Wang: This is not bragging, is it? Is being cheated. Even you were cheated by the inspection. Is there anything you don't know,

Cui: I'll change it, right away.

Xiaofeng: Chief, just give Brother Cui a chance. Although he likes to be clever, he does his work quite well.

Wang: Really?

Cui: Director, I'm not bragging. I caught three criminals by myself. Apart from boasting, I have a good mass base, and last year I got a public security policeman who was satisfied with the people.

Wang: Can you still satisfy the people?

Cui: Why not?

Wang: Let me ask you something. Did an old man report the case just now?

Cui: Grandpa, no.

Feng: Brother Cui, have you forgotten just now-

Cui: If you don't tell me, no one will sell you dumb.

Wang: Is there one or not?

Cui: Yes, there seems to be.

Wang: There seems to be. Did you file a case for others?

Cui: Yes, why not?

Wang: How did you handle it?

Cui: After mediation, the old man was satisfied and said he would give me a plaque.

Wang: No, why do I remember that you seem to want people to go to the slaughterhouse?

Cui: Director, you wronged me. Why should I let him go there? !

Wang: Besides, he drives people to the director.

Cui: Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Wang: We still have to lead the way.

Cui: Chief, don't listen to that old man's nonsense.

Wang: Is it his nonsense or your nonsense?

Cui: Nonsense.

Wang: You mean I'm also talking nonsense?

Cui: How can you talk nonsense?

Wang: Look who I am.

Cui: Is it, ... Ah, are you the old man? !

Feng: Brother Cui, I think you are jiaozi wrapped in yellow paper-

Cui: What?

Feng: It's all exposed.

Script 3;

Take western classics as an example.

Four men and women walked along the road, singing together: "As soon as the sun comes out, I will climb the mountain and climb to the top. I want to sing. "

At this moment, the Monkey King, who walked in the front, said, "Hey! Master, there is a pavilion in front. Let's go and have a rest! "

Tang Priest: "Good!"

So the four of them went to the pavilion and sat down.

The Monkey King looked around and said, "Master, it's picturesque here. Why don't I take a picture of you? "

Tang Priest: "Good!" Say that finish and snap your fingers.

So Pig Bajie ran to the Tang Priest, handed a pack of cigarettes and said, "Master, this is your Marlboro."

Friar Sand took out the lighter and bent down to light the Tang Priest.

Tang Priest took a long drink, spit out smoke and said, "I'll put a poss first."

The Tang Priest made a self-righteous gesture. He was about to ask the Monkey King to take a photo when he found Pig Bajie and Friar Sand standing behind him, grabbing the camera.

The Tang Priest was furious and scolded, "Get out, both of you. Seeing that you are ugly will pollute the lens. "

Pig and Friar Sand get out of the way.

The Monkey King took some pictures of Tang Priest.

After taking the photo, the Monkey King ran to the Tang Priest and said, "Master, are you hungry? Let me buy you something to eat. Do you want to eat KFC or fried dough sticks? "

Tang Priest: "KFC, of course. What do monks eat without meat? Go! "

The Monkey King: "Yes!" Say and leave.

Friar Sand ran over and said, "Master, are you thirsty? What wine would you like to drink? "

Tang Priest: "You don't have to ask. As usual, I drink remy martin. Go and buy it! "

Friar Sand: "Yes, I'll go." Say and leave.

Tang Priest: "Pig, come here, can't you be right?" Go and buy me a copy of Global Times. "

Pig Bajie: "Well, the money for buying newspapers ..."

Tang Priest: "Bastard, of course you did it yourself! You don't give this little money, or I will deduct your salary! "

Pig Bajie: "OK, OK, I'll buy it right away."

After Pig Bajie left, Tang Priest took out a Playboy from his pocket and read it with relish.

As soon as the camera turned, Pig Bajie bought a newspaper and came back, saying, "I thought I was Marshal Tian Peng, but I was just seduced by Chang 'e, and I was seen by her lover, the Jade Emperor, and was banished to the world and cast as a pig fetus. Now I am planted in the hands of Tang Priest, and I am tortured by this smelly monk every day. Hey! "

Pig Bajie ran to the Tang Priest and said, "Master, I bought you the Global Times published the day after tomorrow."

Tang Priest: "Hey? You even bought the newspaper published the day after tomorrow. What a good pig! " Say it and read the newspaper.

Tang Priest: "Hey! The financial crisis in the western world may lead to riots. Then our lives will be in danger if we go to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures. I said Bajie, I think we'd better go to a nearby bookstore to buy some pirated masterpieces and go back to work. "

Pig Bajie: "No, Master. The quality of this pirated book is too poor to pass! "

Tang Priest: "This pirate is really wicked, and pirates are no better. He can only risk his life to go to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures." Say that finish, continue to read the newspaper.

As soon as the camera turned, a dirty monster appeared on the mountain road.

Monster: "It's getting harder and harder to be a monster now. There are guns everywhere. When I shouted robbery, people shot at me. My money has been eaten up, drunk, and gone. I have no money to buy a gun, so I can only fuck other people's guns with my fists. It's really too difficult and too dangerous. "

The monster took a few more steps.

Monster: "Hey! The monks in front should comb their hair separately. It's a fucking slide. Wait, look at him. Does he look like Tang priest? ! I heard that eating his meat can make you live forever. If I let my wife eat a little, she will become very beautiful and I will never have to go out again. "

Then, the monster quietly followed the Tang Priest and Pig Bajie.

Tang Priest: "Hmm! It stinks! Bajie, did you take off your shoes? "

Pig Bajie: "No, Master. The smell seems to be coming from behind. "

When the master and apprentice turned around, they saw a monster.

Monster: "This handsome monk, are you the Tang Priest?"

When the Tang Priest heard the monster praise him, he said happily, "I am the most handsome Tang Priest in the world. Dare to ask where this demon brother is from? "

Monster: "Hum, I am the owner of the scum hole in the garbage mountain." Tang Priest, do you know that I have been waiting for you? If you are obedient, come with me. Don't make unnecessary resistance. You must know that I am strong. "

Hearing this, Pig's legs went limp, and he hid behind the Tang Priest and said, "Master, I'm in a hurry to pee. Go and take care of it first."

Hearing this, the Tang Priest took Pig by the hand and said, "Starling, we are good brothers. Be loyal and don't leave me alone."

Pig Bajie: "Master, my loyalty to you is like a raging river, but I really have to pee." Ah! I can't help it! "Say that finish, he ran away from the hand of the tang's monk.

Tang Priest: "Bastard! Your grandfather's! I guess I'm on my own. Monster, I am the champion of White Horse Temple free fighting. Dare you fight me? "

Monster: "As long as you don't have a gun, I dare to hit you." Say and punch in the past. Tang Priest fell to the ground.

Monster: "I copy! Can you be a fighting champion with this skill? "

Tang Priest: "Alas! I just didn't want to study hard and bought a fake diploma to make up the numbers. I was really careless. "

Monster: "Haha! Come with me! " With that, the monster took the Tang Priest away.

As soon as the camera turned, Pig ran back and said, "Fortunately, I am smart and fast. If I lost my life for this smelly monk, it would be in vain. Wait, Brother Monkey and Brother Sha will come back later. I know that Master has been taken away. How can I do a good job? "

Pig eight quit to turn while thinking, "hey! There is shit on the ground, just right, I used it to make up. " Say and pig eight quit to grab this shit to wipe his face.

The Monkey King came back with the sand monk, and Bajie ran up and pretended to be badly beaten?

Not good! Just now, a smelly monster came. It not only has bad breath and foot odor, but also has a fucking bad body odor. I couldn't beat him, so he took Master away. "

The Monkey King: "What? The master was taken away by a monster? Asshole! He still owes us six months' salary! Second brother, let's go and save master. If master is eaten by a monster, we will be busy for half a year. "

Pig Friar Sand said, "Good!"

As soon as the camera turns, in the monster's cave, the Tang priest is tied to a post, and the monster and the little demon are sharpening their knives.

The genie sang, "Since I had you, life has been a miracle. If you live forever, your wife will be as beautiful as Chang 'e. "

Tang Priest: "Alas! I owe my disciples six months' salary and treat them like cattle and horses on weekdays. They certainly won't come to save me. Looks like I have to save myself. I want to influence these monsters with my golden words. "

The Tang Priest said to the little demon, "Brother Yao, there is no need to sharpen the knife in such a hurry. Let's talk! My Tang Priest is proficient in eating, drinking, whoring and gambling, and his deception is first-class. Chatting with me will benefit you a lot. Brother Yao, do you know that being a demon requires human nature? The more human nature, you are not a demon, but a shemale. "

Small demon: "Shut up! Your grandfather's grandfather! "

Tang Priest: "Wow! Brother Yao, your sentence' your grandfather's grandfather' is really amazing, much deeper than my sentence' your grandfather's'. "

The monster said to the little demon, "I said, little demon, although we are all dirty, our intestines and stomach are still very clean and we can't eat some unclean things."

"Hey, you!" The monster said to the Tang Priest, "Go and take out everything in your stomach, lest we eat bad stomachs."

Tang Priest: "I ... I really can't pull it out!"

The monster and the little demon sang, "You can't throw it into the pile without yelling, and you can't throw it in with your hands!" " "("Hero Song ")

Tang Priest: "You ... you really do all kinds of evil!"

As soon as the camera turns, the Monkey King and his three men walk on the road, singing "I often think that now you are always by my side." ("smiley face")

Pig eight quit: "Brother Monkey, this cave stinks. It must be here. Go in and save master! "

Friar Sand: "Yes! Monkey, you go quickly, we will cover you outside. "

The Monkey King: "I copy! It's me again. "

Pig Bajie and Friar Sand sang in unison: "Monkey, go forward boldly, go forward and don't look back!"

The Monkey King: "OK, OK, I take it."

The Monkey King went to the mouth of the cave and sang, "Look at the monster in the cave, look, look."

When the monster heard the Monkey King's voice, he walked out of the cave and sang as he walked: "One wave is not flat, and another wave is coming. Who is provocative? "

The monster came out of the hole and saw, "I'm handcuffed!" It turned out to be a smelly monkey. "

The Monkey King: "You monster really has no tongue. I am the Monkey King, the champion of the water curtain cave Monkey Beauty Contest in Huaguoshan. Anyway, my name is Rulei! "

Monster: "Never heard of it."

The Monkey King: "I copy! You monsters are so uncultured that you don't even know my grandson. "

Monster: "cut the crap and fight if you want." Eighteen dragons! "

The Monkey King: "Tathagata!"

While the monster was fighting with the Monkey King, Pig Bajie and Friar Sand took the opportunity to run to the cave to save Master.

When the Tang Priest was rescued, the monster saw it and said, "Bastard! It turned out that I was cheated by a diversion and my IQ was as high as 28. What an asshole! It seems that I must make a quick decision. Smelly monkey, look, Chang 'e is streaking in the sky! "

Hearing this, the Monkey King looked up at the sky. The monster took the opportunity to slap the Monkey King, and the Monkey King was unconscious.

Facing the Tang Priest and others, the monster said, "Hey, who knows better? Go back to the cave."

Pig Bajie: "Master, what should we do? Even Monkey Brother is no match for it, and I am anxious again. "

Tang Priest: "This monkey is so fucking useless. It seems that I have to make it for the teacher myself. Jason Wu, bring my mobile phone. "

Friar Sand handed over his mobile phone, and Tang Priest dialed a number.

The Tang Priest said stiffly, "Hello ~ ~ Is this Sister Guanyin? I'm Sanzang ~ ~ I'm stuck with a smelly monster now. Please come and help me. What? You're going to the sauna, there's no time! Well ~ ~ you are good or bad! If anything happens to me, who will accompany you at night! Oh! You have to teach me a spell! Okay, okay, I remember. Bye-bye, kiss. "

Facing the monster, the Tang Priest said, "Chen Wenjing, I am your mother, ok!"

The monster was enchanted and stopped.

Tang Priest patted his mobile phone and said, "Technology is a demon, Nokia mobile phone is great!" "

Friar Sand: "Master, what about Monkey?"

Tang Priest: "This monkey looks useless, but it really came and died. Bajie, the old way. "

Pig Bajie ran to the Monkey King's side, pointed his ass at the Monkey King's head and farted.

The Monkey King: "I copy! It stinks! " Then he bounced off the ground.

As soon as the Monkey King saw the monster stop moving, he rushed up and killed it.

Tang Priest: "Wait a minute! Wukong, don't kill it. We should give young people who have lost their feet a chance to turn over a new leaf. "

The Monkey King: "Master, your idea is good, but if you let it follow us, aren't we going to give it free food and drink!" "

Tang Priest: "You monkey head really don't understand. You think that if you sell it, you will have money to go to the window of the world in Changsha. "

The Monkey King three people shouted: "ok? ! The master is wise! "

Tang Priest: "It's getting late, let's hit the road!"

So the four of them hugged the monster and sang as they walked: "You hold the cigarette, I hold the wine, eat and drink, and gamble. How happy we are on the road ..."

They went further and further, and finally disappeared in the sunset glow.