The funniest cross talk lines of the two.

Crosstalk is an interesting performing art, which often makes people laugh. The following are the funniest comic dialogue lines I arranged for them, hoping to make you laugh.

A: As the saying goes, men are afraid of choosing the wrong line and women are afraid of marrying the wrong person.

B: Yes, occupation is too important for people.

I knew what you were doing as soon as you stopped here.

What should I do?

A: Crosstalk.

B: Nonsense. Watermelon sellers poke at street corners.

You chose the wrong line.

What do you mean?

A: If you want to make big money, you have to do big business. Haven't you heard of it? "Big Boss" doesn't bend down to pick up $10,000 when he sees it on the road.

B: Why?

A: He can earn $10,000 as soon as he bows his head.

B: That's an exaggeration.

He bent down to pick it up. Ten thousand dollars. Unlike you: ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to tell you a cross talk. Please forgive me if you don't know. Well said. Let's say hello. {hat off} rich people help a money field, and poor people help a man field. I bow to you. Shooting ... ten cents. Jingle ... plus noise, at least 20 cents. This little brother is very atmospheric, isn't he fifty? Um ... park tickets, second-hand!

That was a long time ago.

A: Let's change careers. Do big business and make a lot of money. If you have money, go to TV, be interviewed by reporters, and have your photos online. If you are looking for you, you will be in sogou, and you will be found after searching.

B: My wife is from Sohu. We two animals.

A: I changed careers. Learn to drive.

B: That's good.

A: It stopped later.

B: Why?

I think I should have a drink.

Drunk driving, that's going to jail. I forgot to introduce it to everyone. This man likes to drink at ordinary times, and when he drinks, he gets drunk. When he meets people, he has a double shadow. People nicknamed him "twins". I came home from drinking that day and met his wife at the door. He said that his aunt was there. Scared his wife to look for it several times.

Answer: When driving for the first time, catch fire, put into gear and release the clutch. Bang! Reverse gear! Hit a telephone pole.

Oh!

A: Put in gear and release the clutch. Bang! Hit another pole.

Pay attention to the telephone pole. Don't always stand on the side of the road, it will affect the traffic.

How did this traffic policeman get here so soon? It is polite to get off and salute me. At ease, you're welcome. Come on, come on, have a twin.

B: Too drunk. Just one person.

A: Two! Swing back and forth and play cross with me. I can't beat you.

B: Let you test the alcohol content first. Sir, blow it.

No, I drink it every day. Rich, expensive ... noble.

B: back to the nobility?

A: It's an aristocrat. I have a fan and caught a cold. I coughed and broke two ribs. Very delicate. I like to drink it twice, and the more I drink, the more sober I am.

I am still awake. If I drink again, I will become a policeman. What happened afterwards?

I will come out in seven days. I didn't know there was no wine in the detention center until I came out.

B: Still drinking?

A: Drink! You can go without food for three days, but you can't go without drinking for a while. The day I came out, I went to the restaurant. I had a drink and threw up in the toilet before drinking.

B: Just pour the food and wine into the toilet, and you won't have to suffer.

That restaurant is also very special. The toilet threshold is extremely high. I have to climb up. As soon as I got up, I went downstairs from the second floor.

B: That's the window.

A: The world is the same. I was lying on the roof of the car, and a bunch of people were watching me. Nobody helped me, so an old lady came up and asked, handsome boy, stealing a car? People always pry open doors, how can they tear down the roof?

B: It seems that you can't eat the bowl of driving.

A: Then what should I do?

B: Look at your specialty.

A: Being a singer can earn more money.

B: With your looks, go to the kindergarten and sing. Which child doesn't eat, you stand there "Xifeng is coming", which makes the child jump up and chew the plate.

A: I didn't mean to be ugly. I'm trying to scare those children who don't eat.

B: Singer, you can't do it.

A: I run a hospital. It can make a lot of money. Grandma Wang's grandson knocked out a front tooth that day, and she took her grandson to the hospital. The doctor said: Check it first. Radiology internal surgery, B-ultrasound ct EEG, all the way to the ticket, did not go to the stomatology department to get grandma Wang.

Grandson went back to see it.

B: No money?

A: The front teeth are coming out.

B: Then you don't know anything about medicine. How can you open a hospital?

A: I'm hiring. First, choose gables, downtown area, 10 floor, internal medicine, surgery, obstetrics and gynecology, outpatient area, inpatient area, rehabilitation area, football field, boxing hall, preferably racing car. B: Stop. This doesn't seem to be a hospital.

A: These projects are for the wounded, and they are produced and sold by themselves. Choose a good border, advertise in Shanghai and recruit medical elites. One came that day, in his thirties, in his prime.

How many years have you worked?

A: Thirteen years.

B: how do you see a doctor? Consultation?

A: I don't usually ask.

B: OK. You'll know what's wrong by experience. Do you always have to ask if it hurts?

A: Haha ... Does your pig say it hurts?

B: Vet!

A: I have shown it to others, too. A woman came that day, very fat, with a head and a belly. I asked her: How many months? She said that August is such a hot day. I said, how many months have I been asking about your stomach? She slapped me conveniently: I am fat! Are you pregnant? I'm not married yet, so I'll wear glasses when I go to work! B: this person can't use it.

A: In the afternoon, another one came. A Japanese Song Shiquan's head looks like this. It belongs to the Russian Paris Dance Company.

Miniskirt, Ethiopian black * * *, female ghost's nails in American movies, are all green without washing for many years, but only two eyes are made in China, a pair of panda eyes, which were taken off at night and immediately photographed three times. The small eyes are almost like your mouse.

There are no mice in our house.

Let your wife have a nest.

What nonsense!

Just kidding. {Bow} * * Give it to the nurse.

Why did you quit your job? High rank and low salary? A: The dean said I couldn't aim at the injection correctly.

B: Huh?

A: It is medically called strabismus. I tilted 50 centimeters.

B: aiming is not easy.

That's not a day. A pregnant woman came, and she couldn't give birth. She asked me what to do. what can I do? I'm a girl, and I can't give birth. I just gave her an injection. Antivirus, aim, hit left, aim right, and see a "poof" needle. The woman said nothing. Her husband said, ouch, my leg! What do you mean by an adult yelling? Where does it hurt when my wife gives birth to a child?

You hit him in the leg.

Oh, wrong direction. My eyes slant to the right.

B: It's one meter short!

That's not worth shouting about, is it? One more shot and it won't come out.

Did the dean fire you?

A: No injections.

B: Then why?

A: One day an old man had boils on his eyes, and I gave him a breast cream. The next day, he found it This is a nice photo with two tomatoes on his face.

B: It looks good.

Oh, I read the wrong medicine box. I'm sorry ... you have to thank me.

Thank you?

A: Yes. The box on the right is corn cream.

That will make him blink.

A: This hospital can't be opened.

B: Then change it.

A: To do sales.

What do you sell?

Answer: First floor, practice and sell belts. Five dollars each, very cheap. You see, this skin, tiger skin and cattle can't run away. I've seen it. If you buy one to hang yourself, I'll pay you ten. If not, we will send someone to help you and take you home.

B: Yes. What are you talking about?

This is a promotion. It's amazing. When everyone heard that "there are hanging tapes for sale over there, let's go and have a look." Fusang people are surrounded. We don't want to buy it all and hang ourselves, just to be popular. That's it. People pay attention to you and you sell yourself. Haven't you heard people say, "If you want to sell goods, you must sell yourself first."

B: sell yourself first?

A: The comprehension ability is really poor. That is to say: the customer is God, the food and clothing parents. Parents!

B: So you are somebody else's son when I buy your things?

A: Come on. My sons are all Laozi now, and Laozi is a grandson at best. If you have a son, you will know that there is no sky, no land, no black, no white, no face, no skin, no dirt, no worship and no festivals.

What do you mean?

A: You slept soundly in the middle of the night and suddenly felt warm under you. You touched it and peed. Sticky.

B: Yes.

A: You hold the diaper and {rub your hands} I'll hold it. Do you do this by hand?

B: Let's go!

On Saturday and Sunday, my son will ride a horse to the park.

Do you have a horse at home?

Well, I just like to drink.

I see. I will ride you.

A: I'm already halfway, and my neck is warm. Coincidentally, I met my neighbor Aunt Zhang.

B: Look at you, carrying a child on your back is sweating all over your neck.

Aunt, it's very hot.

B: December? I am in trouble.

B: It's neck deep.

A: When a child reaches school age, he should plan to find a key middle school for him in primary school, a key university in middle school and a good job in university. ...

If you have a good job, you should plan to find a good wife.

A: You have to plan to buy a house before you find a wife. Do you think girls nowadays marry houses or men?

B: All girls in their twenties have been mistresses to 80-year-olds. what did you say ?

A: When I bought a house, all my savings for more than 30 years were lost. For 30 years, my grandson has been married. Do you think this Lao Tzu is Lao Tzu or grandson?

B: Yes, it's not easy for your son to do this kind of sales work.

A: No, let's talk about crosstalk. Ladies and gentlemen, I want to tell you a cross talk. Please forgive me if it is not good. If it is good, please call it good. If you have money, help a frontcourt. If you have no money, help a private court. I will bow to you.

Come on, bow.