How do you describe loneliness?

Loneliness is a feeling, a little unclear, but from the heart. I'll tell you a little story about loneliness. Sometimes loneliness is not that no one is with you, but that the person who is with you is not really with you.

It was a few years ago when I was in the ancient town of Zhongshan. At that time, I entered a lighting factory, and there were several people in the dormitory. I will accompany them to go shopping, play badminton, eat and so on when I am free. However, once, I was in a bad mood, which coincided with a holiday. That time, I told them: I want to go to Xiaolan Chrysanthemum Exhibition and then go to Dafuyuan for dinner. They agreed and they did go together. However, after I went, my mood did not get better, but I was doubly depressed.

First of all, we went to the mountain of Chrysanthemum Exhibition, which was a long road and the weather was gloomy. So I suggested climbing the mountain, seeing the varieties of chrysanthemums and breathing fresh air. They agreed, and they all said they would accompany me to climb the mountain. As a result ... the mountain did climb, but there are some pavilions for tourists to rest on every section of the road, which is a problem. In my imagination, appreciating chrysanthemums is not against poetry. At least, few people will try their best to climb up and then sit in various pavilions, waiting for me to see the lace. I know they are very kind to me, but there is always a feeling that they can't fit in.

Later, I went to Dafuyuan for dinner. After seeing them eat a little, they are worried about getting fat and getting acne. I ate all the food I ordered without waste, even without tears. Fortunately, what was left at that time was non-mainstream broken hair, and no one could see it. I suddenly feel that maybe I really can't fit into their world. Although I have tried to follow them to KTV and dance, there are still many differences with them. This should be some deviations from my living conditions. I may not pursue the same world as them.

Two months after that incident, I made it clear that I don't want to be a general worker or a production line, and I don't want to stay even if it is stable. So, I left my job without authorization, packed my clothes, quilts and luggage, and went to Guangzhou like this. I found a place, bought a computer, slowly explored some computer knowledge, and then played online games, which gradually became like this.

In fact, I have always felt lonely not because I am alone, but because the people I am with don't know themselves, whether they are lovers, family members, colleagues or friends.