What did you miss in your hesitation?

It's been four months since I graduated from college, but I'm still floating on the road.

Sometimes I feel deep despair, and sometimes I laugh like I'm comforting myself. Whatever, it's a big deal to go to the restaurant to serve a dish, but I know I'm not willing, it may be my eternal pain.

I study medicine, but my major is very special. Postgraduate entrance examination is useless, and the hospital is close to saturation.

I was an intern in a tertiary hospital, which turned out to be the only pride I could say at that time. Everything seems to be missing, but not just fate.

I don't blame fate, because it is largely because of myself. When I was an intern in a local hospital, I didn't realize that I had to find a job quickly. I am waiting in the hospital where I am an intern, and so are our interns. I know, we have an advantage, as long as it recruits people.

2.

This year's hospital recruitment is particularly late than before. It started in February and March last year, and this year has arrived in May, and there is still no trace. Although we all know that we will confess, we also know that we can't pin all our hopes on it.

So, except for the related ones, we all attended job fairs intensively and went to the hospital to submit resumes, but the results were minimal.

Some confessed, and some didn't need our major. At that time, although I had been paying attention to recruitment, it was not difficult to find, because I couldn't find a hospital that was as qualified and promising as my internship hospital. I am waiting.

Finally found a hospital, next to the city. I have a good impression of this hospital and the environment.

It's just that I haven't graduated yet, and I'm still practicing, so I can't go to work right away. Fortunately, the people in the hospital are very nice, so I just want to come back with my diploma.

I can't agree any more. My parents don't want me to go, but they still want me to stay in the city, but they are not particularly optimistic when they see the situation. They have to agree.

I have always regarded this hospital as the last resort, and I have observed it in my urban area, but at this time I am also relaxed.

3.

I called the hospital after graduation, but from their vague refusal attitude and the news I got, I knew the hospital was hopeless.

I'm sorry I missed this hospital, but I can keep looking. Everyone has just graduated, and several of them have already entered the hospital. A large number of unemployed partners bring me hope.

After all, there is still a hospital where I practice, and there is no recruitment.

However, there were only a few recruitments in the next month or so, and the hospitals I went to got almost nothing.

I missed something I wasn't satisfied with and gave the opportunity to others. Some of them were missed because of my hesitation and hesitation.

4.

People around me have found jobs, and I have a strange hope and an urgent mood. On the one hand, I think I can still find a job in this major. On the other hand, the people around me are all each other, and my sense of security has disappeared.

The last straw that crushed me was the hospital where I practiced. I'm waiting for the job. There are 6 people in our group, except two who have found hospitals, one in this city and one in Shanghai, and the rest are looking forward to it. Of course, including local students who have found jobs, we all have to attend written interviews.

Perhaps on the one hand, it is fate, on the other hand, it is my long-term carelessness. I can't find the required certificate (which is not needed in general hospitals), although I saw it not long ago. So, I lost this opportunity, and this regret and regret invaded me from time to time, but I can only endure it.

One day after the interview, I accidentally turned it over. That's the only place I miss, and it's also the place I thought was absolutely impossible.

5.

Two months passed, and at this time, I had the idea of going out. For our major, first-tier cities may have more opportunities. But I'm still waiting. I don't think I can come to a conclusion until the results of the internship hospital are completely out.

I'm afraid I'll be left alone in the end. I'm afraid I will face this regret of infiltrating into my body in the future. I am more afraid that I will face the unknown fear and despair alone.

I hope I'm not fighting alone, so I have more courage to go on hopefully.

But as a result, they were all admitted, which means that they all found jobs except me. I feel particularly sour in my heart, and I have to try to convince myself to let go.

I once fantasized about the first-tier cities in the past. There's a chance. Make a clean break with the past.

Therefore, after various opinions, I chose the city of Shanghai.

6.

When I came to the interview, I reported that I could find a job in the short term. After packing, I set off.

Unexpected harvest, I also received an interview from another hospital that day.

I felt hope came, but I didn't expect to be disappointed later. Both my favorite schools failed in the interview, one because my major was not very good, and the other because I failed in the interview.

I know I have no interview experience in Shanghai myself, and my answer really hit the nail on the head. Of course, at that time, I thought we had reached some kind of tacit understanding, and I thought I answered very well.

I expect to find a job right away, so I have to move from my friend's residence to another friend's relative's, and my friend is there.

The first few days were fine, and I also accepted several interviews. But in the next week or so, I was completely empty for almost two weeks.

I am embarrassed to stay at my friend's house all the time, because it is inconvenient. Idle at home is not very beautiful, too idle.

I didn't have an interview. I'm a stranger. I lost my way in an instant. Out of the door, I stood in the street, standing at the subway entrance, not knowing where I was and where I was going.

Set out on time every day, sit in a place casually, thinking about how to waste time and why tomorrow hasn't come yet.

Later, when I got bored, I found a park to sit and write, or went to a bookstore to sit and watch. Fame has precipitated myself, but I know it clearly. I hope to get comfort from the book and spend a long time by the way.

But there are two kinds of pressures that have been pressing me. I am anxious to find a job and a house to live in, but if I am not sure about my job, I don't know where to rent a house, and I can't rent it.

I don't like to bother others and feel indebted to others. But I can only endure my helplessness and continue this life.

Finally, the interview, especially in the physical examination center. While I am happy, I am also deeply confused and hesitant. Because of renting a house, I am worried that I can't learn anything. I am hesitant, contradictory and trance every day.

I missed half a day's internship and lost my job.

Indeed, as they say, I haven't entered Shanghai yet. When I have no chance, I am eager to have a job opportunity. With a job, I have become greedy again, and I want to ask for a better job.

So, I can't catch anything.

I am a very tangled person myself. Usually, when faced with a choice, I can't make a choice.

Later, there was an interview in the county seat of our city, and I was faced with the choice of going back or staying in Shanghai. I want to go back, but someone told me to stick to it for a year. Yes, I was told to stick to it. I want to hold on a little longer.

If I want to leave, I will leave everything behind, feel that there will be no regrets, leave calmly, and don't be like a deserter.

7.

My job either puts me in despair or puts me in a dilemma. I usually miss a lot because of hesitation and contradiction, but when I am faced with a choice, my heart does not allow me to make a choice easily.

Therefore, I have been on the road of confusion. Fall into a strange circle.

I got an interview today, but it was a medical center that once made me not consider it.

I'm in a dilemma again, but I can't.

In fact, I know in my heart that the choices that can entangle me are usually not much different. Only a close choice will put you in a dilemma.

On the other hand, I don't like it. But I need to be realistic. It is very unlikely that I will go to the hospital.

Hesitation missed one opportunity after another. I want to catch too much, but I can't catch so much. I have to make a choice.

I always miss it and always leave too late. Maybe I can take a step back and walk slowly in one direction.